Ch 1-10

Summary

Being 15 sucks. I’m still classed as a child. I live with my mom and dad, and I have a sister who treats me like crap. I have friends and I love school. when the fair comes to town, me and my friends go, we do every year. I wasn’t expecting to meet a boy much older than me. Tane and I shared a connection so strong. but sadly, with him being 23 and a good man. it wasn’t our time, we would face many challenges through the years, meany heartbreaks and lots of time apart before I got the man of my dreams. before he finally let his guard down and allowed himself to have me. and will wait. I did wait. because it never seemed like the right time of place.

1: Neve

June 1995

Its official, I hate my sister. ok, hate is a strong word, but she yells at me all the time, picks on me during dinner with our parents, and takes my clothes without asking.

Henly is beautiful, tall and slim. she has long golden hair, down to her butt. her eyes are crystal blue, with flecks of brown. she oozes confidence around boys and smokes like a chimney.

I’m average height. I have no boobs; my body resembles the same as a teenage boy. My hair is not brown or black, it more in between and I think my eyes are too close together, a dull brown with tiny flecks of green.

“Is that my new River Island dress.” I ask as Henly walks past my bedroom door, her exclamation perfume is so strong, I sneeze when she stops.

“Yeah. I’m going to a party at Liam Novels house.” I stare at her like she’s a stranger. she doesn’t even ask me if she could borrow it.

“Mum brought me that dress for doing well in my math test, I’m wearing it tomorrow night for Julias birthday party.” I reply as she looks at me in utter boredom.

“and. this dress suits me better. your party will be lame, this dress needs a body like mine, Jesus Neve, your 15. just wear your frumpy jeans and unicorn top.” she spins away from me and heads for the stairs.

“that’s my dress Hen. take it off.” I yell following her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Mum. tell Henly to get my dress off.” I cry as my mum spins to face us from where she’s stirring a pot of something that smells good.

“Henly. you’ve been told about taking Neve’s clothes. go change.” I stand with my hands on my hips waiting to see what she will do.

“Absolutely not. I’m wearing it and that’s final. she gets everything handed to her on a silver platter, she’s spoilt.” she tries to walk past me, and I step in her way.

“Take it off, it’s not yours and you didn’t ask. if you went out and got a job you could buy your own damn dress.” I growl as she tries to push me aside.

“Like you did. mum and dad buy you everything. you ace a test. here Neve, have a dress. you volunteer in a homeless shelter. here, have some new bedroom Funiture. what do I get, jack shit.” she sneers in my face as mum tries to separate us.

“Girls please.” mum tries again and Henly ignores her.

“you’re a spoilt bitch who gets everything handed to her.” she repeats like it’s something I need to hear again.

“Then get a job and stop moaning. you left school Two years ago and you still don’t work. dad brought you your car. I’m 15 and I work on the weekends. it’s not hard. now take it off.” I try to twist the fabric in my grip, but she stands firm.

“Girls, enough.” dad barks as he walks in from the garage, mum standing a few paces back now.

“I can hear you yelling from the car. what’s going on.” he adds kissing my mum on the cheek as he sets down his lunch box.

“Henly took my new dress. she won’t take it off, it’s my new one to wear to Julias party tomorrow night.” I talk calmy my eyes boring into my sisters.

dad sighs loudly. he doesn’t need this when he works so hard. he works for a local mechanic shop in town, long days and sometimes longer nights.

“Henly take it off. it’s not yours, if you want nice things, get a job.” Henly seethes with rage as she looks around the room.

she pulls my hand away from her front and steps back, I hate that we aren’t close anymore. we used to do everything together, now we just yell and fight.

“This the road you want to go down huh dad.” her eyes flit to dad who lowers his head. he looks so tired.

“Henly. I have tried to help you find work, filled in applications for you, bought you a car so you could drive yourself around. but you find an excuse every time. if you just applied yourself….” Henly throws up her hand to stop him.

“Fine. I’ll take it off.” just like that, she spins on the spot and marches up to her room to change.

mum carries on with what she’s doing at the stove. dad grabs a beer from the fridge and sits down with a heavy sigh.

“How was work honey.” mum asks as I stand awkwardly in the doorway. I hate that I’m the cause if his stress, well, me and Henly.

“Fine. Nigal has a new kid starting next week. he’s from down south, just moved here, but Nigal has high hopes we can catch up with the backload.” I listen as he talks, mum stirring the pot and Henly banging around in her room.

“Kid? as in how old.” mum asks.

“23, just finished an engineering course. he’s fully qualified, so that’s a bonus.” he sighs again and mum plates him some food.

“You, eating with us Munchkin.” dad asks as he starts to eat.

I nod as Henly comes down to the kitchen in a short skirt, and my blue Holter neck top. I don’t comment because it’s an old one and I have no boobs to fill it.

“Henly, you want some dinner before you go.” mum asks as she hands me a plate of food.

“No thanks. Candice is waiting for me to pick her up. I’ll be staying at hers for the night.” she replies as she ignores me and dad.

“Ok sweety. don’t get too drunk and call us if you need us.” mum replies as she makes her own plate and sits down at the table.

Henly stands in the doorway for a few seconds before stomping off and out the front door.

the town we live in is small. it’s a friendly town, where kids can hang without threat or violence. mums meet up with each other to gossip and drink.

mum doesn’t drink but she loves to gossip. I hear many interesting things while hanging around the house in the evenings.

I’m rarely home on the weekends because I work in top shop. I started last summer, and I love it, having my own money to spend on what I want.

I’m good at school. I’m an A+ student with hopes of owning my own clothesline, or my bakery when I go to the university of Cambridge. we live in long meadow, which is a short drive away.

“Did you look at the brochures I left out for you.” dad asks me and I smile. dad wants me to go to university so bad. something he wishes he had done, but when he and mum got together, a whirlwind romance as they tell it, Henly was born a year later.

dad was 19 and mum only 18 when they got married. I was born 6 years later, a miracle baby. mum had a hysterectomy at just 25 due to her uterus collapsing.

“I thought we could take a drive over there on Sunday. have a look around.” he smiles still eating his vegetables.

“Sounds great dad. I’m working till 3 on Sunday, we could go after that.” I reply as he nods, and mum takes his hand in hers. their love for each other has never faltered.

I hope to have a love like that one day. a love so strong, so filling that it makes my heart stutter just from looking at them.

After dinner I help mum clean up and bid them a goodnight. I have work tomorrow at 8 in the morning till 4, then I’m going to Julias to get ready for her party.

when I see the dress that Henly had ripped off in anger throw on my bed, I want to cry. she cut chunks out of the dress, the hem shorter by a few inches and the zipper hangs freely away from the material.

I don’t know when we started to turn on each other. I used to look up to her, in a way, I still do. she has a car and friends, boys that worship her every move. a life I sometimes wish for.

with a heavy heart, I put the dress in the bin and brush my teeth. I climb into bed and fall asleep within a few minutes.

2: Neve

School is my safe space. I love learning, love hanging with my friends and being goofy.

Julia is my best friend; we met when we were 3. apparently, I wandered from my own garden and into hers where she was playing in a paddling pool, and I asked if I could play too.

we spend a lot of time together, outside of school. we go to the movies on a Thursday night because it’s the cheapest. we eat at each other homes. we go to the local swimming pool when the weather is hot.

but our favorite time of the year is when the fair comes to town. for Two whole weeks we meet up with our other friends and ride the dodgems till we are sick.

“I’m sorry I destroyed your dress. I was mad.” Henly leans on the doorframe looking uncomfortable.

I don’t reply because it’s been over Four days since she done it, and I had to wear a different dress to Julias party, and I looked horrible.

“Why did you do it.” I finally reply and she comes into the room and sits on my bed.

“I was mad because mum and dad treat you different to me. I’m older yes, but it’s all about getting a job and being a grown up. you can still do whatever you want, get good grades. be something great.” I grab her hand in mine and give it a squeeze.

Henly dropped out of school 6 months before the end. she still won’t tell me why, but I know whatever it was still troubles her.

“I’m not good at school, I never was. I struggled so bad. dad helps you all the time, he never did with me. mum buys you clothes, and you got new bedroom Funiture.” she lets out a deep sigh and I don’t know what to say.

I worked so hard to get that grade in math. hours of study for the test. I got a new desk and chair because my, over all report cards said I had a great future ahead of me. College and university have been the plan for as long as I can remember.

“Dad got you a car.” I say leaning my shoulder into her. he got it for her 17th birthday. she squealed when he opened the front door. within a month she had passed her test, and she was free to come and go as she pleased.

“Only because… never mind. he got a good deal because of where he works, and he fixes things on it in his spare time. anyway. the dress, I’m sorry Neve. I’ll get you a new one when I find a job.” she huffs and stands up.

she looks around my room with interest and I watch her. she looks so lost sometimes. I hate that we aren’t close anymore.

“it’s fine Hen. don’t worry about it. it’s just a dress. did you know the fair is coming to town this weekend.” I change the subject, and she smiles at me.

“Yeah. you go with your friends every year, like every single night.” she chuckles, and I copy her. she has a nice laugh. her smile lights up a room.

“We do. it’s the best thing that ever happens in this town. do you, maybe want to go with me one night. hang out, like old times.” I ask and she turns to face me.

“I think that’s a great idea. we could get cotton candy and ride the Ferris wheel until we vomit.” she laughs, and I pull a face.

“Definitely not. that’s the one ride I will not go on and you know it.” I shudder and she laughs harder.

“You have to get over your fear of heights at some point in your life. there’s so much out there to see and do. don’t let it hold you back.” she smiles and picks up a small slow globe Julia brought me from when she went to Canada.

“Same goes to you too Hen. stop hiding behind dad and go out there and get a job. show him you can do it. earn a wage. save some money and go travel like you talked about. think of all the clothes and make up you could buy all those hair products just waiting for you to grab.” her face falls instantly, and I know I’ve lost her.

“You don’t know a thing, Neve. you live in a bubble where mum and dad treat you like a princess. you’re going to college and then to university. I’ll be stuck here under your shadow for the rest of my life.”

“You could have all of that too. go back to school. apply yourself. what’s stopping you.” I almost yell because I don’t get it.

“You don’t understand. no one does. forget it. and forget the fair, go with your stupid friends and forget about me.” she slams my door and stomps away. her own bedroom door slamming a second later.

Dinner is awkward with us all sitting around the table. Henly doesn’t speak, only eats with her head down. mum talks to dad about his day and I pick at my chicken like it’s got a disease.

“You, looking forward to the fair Neve.” dad asks and I sit up taller.

“Yes. Julia and I are meeting everyone there Saturday night.” I reply as dad nods his head.

we drove to Cambridge university on Sunday, and it was magical. the whole place reminded me of Hogwarts. the open grounds and the lecture halls, it’s a whole other world.

“I’ll make sure to leave you some extra spending money.” I look towards Henly who scowls.

“You don’t need to do that dad. I have my own money.” I reply and he smiles.

“I’m going to this year.” Henly says as dad looks to her still eating.

“that’s nice love. you, going with Candice.” mum asks, but Henly is looking right at dad.

“I suppose you want me to give you money for that too. as well as paying for your car’s insurance, the tax, and putting petrol in it.” mum looks awkward, I’m silent, not daring to move.

“Neve works, she has her own money. why does she get more. you always give her more. more, more, more. I hate this family, it’s not fair.” Henly gets up and leaves the room.

mum pats my hand with hers. dad continues to eat like the whole thing didn’t bother him and I feel sick.

“I paid 2 grand for her car. her insurance is over 100 pounds a month and her tax, is 30 pounds every three months. I put petrol in weekly. am I being unfair when I won’t keep giving and she makes no effort to find a job.” he’s asking mum who pats his arm lovingly.

“How much was my new Funiture.” I ask and mum, slides her eyes to me. I know the dress was 45 pounds.

“Less than 200 pounds, why.” she asks, and I shrug. so overall, Henly gets more than me but still hates me for it. why?

“She hates me.” I mumble and dad huffs.

“she’s just being difficult. if she got a job, she knows she will have to pay for all of that herself, and she doesn’t want to.” dad grunts pushing his plate away.

“That was fab honey. what’s for dessert.” I get up and leave the table, taking my plate to the kitchen and rinsing it off.

mum finds me a few seconds later and I wish her a good night. I do the same to dad and walk upstairs to my bedroom.

3: Neve

“I’m so excited.” Julia chants beside me as we walk into the large clearing where the fair has been set up.

“Me too. I love the fair, it’s get better and better every year.” I volley back. both of us dressed in lose jeans and baggy top, mine blue, hers is yellow.

“I wonder if that cute guy is back again. the one who got us on the dodgems for free.” I remember that. he was cute, older but cute and he flirted with Julia all night.

Julia is pretty with long brown hair. she has a cute button nose and wears a cute pair of round glasses that make her look innocent.

“wasn’t he like 19 or something.” I enquire thoughtfully.

“Yeah. but he still offered to make out with me behind the rides after his shift finished.” we both giggle. she didn’t meet him because after we had spent all our money on sweets, we went home early, feeling sick.

“Look, there Maria and Amber.” I wave excitedly as they wave back. both looking pretty in denim shorts and cropped tops. amber is the oldest of our group and the flirtiest.

Maria is more quiet, almost mousy looking. both have blonde hair and blue eyes. both have older brothers who will be lurking around somewhere to watch over them.

“I’m soooo excited. let’s go on the dodgems first.” Amber grabs my hand, and we weave through the crowd. the first night is always the cheapest and the most popular.

the smell of popcorn fills the air. cotton candy hangs from almost every stall, goldfish too, which I think is cruel. Men and women shout as we walk past, enticing us to play their rigged games.

“Come on ladies. hook a duck and win a prize.” A fat balding man yells as we giggle and continue to walk.

“Camron Jessop is here tonight. he’s so fit.” Amber giggles as we stumble towards the dodgems. Camron is indeed fit, but he’s also a dick head.

The dodgems are already full. the half circular cars, spinning round and round. girls screaming with excitement. music pumping from the speakers.

Mr. Vain by culture beat booms around us. it’s been one of my favorite songs for the last 2 years. lights flash as the cars spin and spin. my eyes wide as Amber jumps excitedly beside me.

“Wow. look at him. he’s so hot.” Julia snuggles close to my side as we watch the man spin the cars with ease. his large arms and strong hands make it look easy as he balances on the rickety platform

“it’s 2 quid, lets line up.” Amber yells over the music as we walk to the side and wait. I keep my eyes on the man spinning the cars. he looks about 20, maybe more, but he is hot. Julia was right.

he has light washed jeans on. big black combat boots. he’s wearing a white top that clings to his muscles. his hair is dark, and he has a scruff on his chin, like the start of a beard.

the cars spin around and around. the man passes us a few times, his concentration on the job at hand. he has another man with him now, both working to keep the girls screaming.

“it’s us next. then I think we should get hot dogs.” Maria nods along to what Amber said. the man spinning the cars passes us again and his eyes pin me in place. he is more than hot. he’s stunning.

but all too soon he is gone again, the connection lost and it’s like it never happened.

“Did he just check you out. girl you have all the boys falling at your feet. so not fair.” Amber snorts as Julia squeezes my arm affectionately. the connection is lost when he disappears around the other side, but I still feel him.

The ride comes to a stop and the man in the middle booth announces the next ride. another song starts. Cotton eyed joe, which another favorite of mine plays loudly as we file into one of the cars.

The man who made eye contact with me takes out money and I blush when his fingers touch mine. he winks at me, and I dip my head down embarrassed. he closes the safety bar and walks to the next car.

the ride begins and Maria is the first to let out a scream as we are spined and spined. my head flops onto Julia who cackles like a witch. hot guy spins us so much I feel woozy. but I love this ride and I’m having fun.

push the feeling on, but the nightcrawlers starts and all too soon the ride comes to an end. we will be back, because why wouldn’t we. hot guy stops our car and lifts the bar. Julia gets off first followed by Amber.

Maria gets out of the other side and hot guy holds out his hand to me and I take it. we don’t speak but he does wink again at me, and I blush so hard. when I look back, he is already helping the next group into the car.

“That was crazy, he spun us so hard and fast.” Julia chuckles as we walk towards the drinks stand. I need a coke and maybe a lie down after that. but we order drinks, and we share Two hotdogs.

“How about the house of horrors next.” Maria asks and we all nod walking towards that. I can’t help but look back at the dodgems for the hot guy. sure enough, there he is. looking right at me.

we spend time in the house of horrors, all of us screaming and running from ghostly ghouls. then we go in the fun house where Julia lands harshly on her butt when the sliding floor moves to fast making us howl in laughter.

we eat cotton candy and Amber wins a small stuffed animal. we go on the dodgems another Two times. the music is flowing. the smells linger on my skin as the night winds up.

we stop and talk to Maria’s brother briefly and then head back to the dodgems for one final ride. I’m disappointed when hot guy doesn’t show. Julia hugs me when she sees my face. it’s silly really.

Alex party don’t give me your life plays as we take our seats. the ride starts and we scream when we are spined. we laugh and we lean. we hold hands and we yell along with the music. when the ride slows, I see him. he’s standing off the ride, leaning with one foot up against another stall, cigarette in his mouth.

my heart skips a beat because he’s not like boys our age. he’s older, cooler. but if I’ve learned anything about the fair. he will be gone when it leaves. and I’m only 15.

“I need to pee.” Amber announces as we step down from the ride. Maria agrees with her, and they walk off. Julia sees her sister and gives a wave. I don’t take my eyes off him. I want to speak to him, be close to him.

“I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.” Julia rushes away. I don’t answer her. I’m locked in an intense eye battle with a hot god. I make the decision to step closer to him. he smiles when I’m a foot away.

it’s not until he speaks, that I realize I’m in love. my first real crush and it’s with an older boy who I will probably never see again.

4: Neve

“Where are your friends.” he asks and I look around, making sure it’s me he’s talking too. he’s so tall. so much taller than me. a giant of a man.

“Amber and Maria had to pee. Julia is talking to her sister.” I answer dragging my foot in the soft mud under my trainer. he nods in understanding, flicking his cigarette.

“what’s your name.” he asks, and I blush again. why do I keep blushing when he only asked my name. I’m so awkward.

“what’s yours.” I counter back and he smiles, sucking on his cancer stick.

“Tane.” his voice is so deep and thick. shivers run up my spine.

“Tane.” I question because its unusual.

“that’s right.” I turn my head slightly to the side. he can see me reading him and he smiles again.

“You travel with the fair.” I ask and he shakes his head no.

“Just helping out a friend.” I nod like it makes sense.

“You have fun.” he asks, and I nod energetically. I did. opening night is always the best.

“You, leaving now.” he asks, and I shake my head. I mean, we are but I don’t want to go now.

“I mean, yes…I guess we are, I mean… we all have to be home by 10.” I sound lame. so, lame I cringe. I can’t even string together a sentence.

“Will you be here tomorrow.” I blurt out as he flicks his fag away.

“I will.” he smiles and puts his hands in his pockets.

we watch each other closely. his eyes are running up and down my face. my eyes are flicking from his eyes to his mouth. I curse myself for not being older.

“Neve. come on. we have to go.” Julia yells from behind me and I look her way. she’s standing with Maria and Amber who are giggling between them. thoroughly enjoying the show.

I turn back to Tane and smile shyly.

“See you tomorrow, Neve.” the way he says my name has my knees going weak. I have this deep urge to go to him and cling to him like a monkey. to wrap my arms around him and never let go.

“Bye Tane.” I speak quietly, almost a whisper. he flicks his head as if to tell me to go. so, I spin on my heels and walk away. all three of my friends laughing when I reach them.

I look over my shoulder to see he’s still watching me, still in the same position and I can’t help but smile. this is a big deal for me. my first crush.

“He is so hot. what’s his name.” Julia asks me and I dip my head feeling shy. but also, feeling protective because I don’t want them to know his name.

Amber and Maria chat beside us about the night we just had. Julia cuddles my arm as we walk across the field towards the edge of the fair. is it weird to feel like I’m leaving a piece of my heart behind.

“it’s ok, you don’t have to tell me. it can be your little secret.” Julia gets me, that’s why we are best friends. this is why when I go to college she is coming with me. when I go to Cambridge, she will share a dorm with me.

---

we are back. the lights are bright. the music is loud, and the yelling men still try to get us to win a duck. we walk through the stalls, Julia stopping to throw a dart at some playing cards. she wins a small toy and jumps for joy.

Maria and Amber go on the Ferris wheel while Julia watches from the bottom with me. I hate heights and don’t plan to go on anything higher than myself. Camron Jessop sidles up beside us and Julia gasps.

“Ladies. good night for a ride on the wheel.” I almost gag at his way of talking. Amber and Maria get off at that moment and Amber gushes when he smiles at her.

Camron hangs out with Kyle Newberry and Josh manning. Josh is ok but Kyle is a dick too. Amber rambles on about what we have planned, and Camron stands with his hands in his pockets listening closely.

“You want to go for a ride with me.” he asks her, and she blushes. Julia rolls her eyes and Maria steps away. Josh and Kyle both look at me and Julia but then look away just as quickly.

“Catch up in a bit. I’m hungry.” Kyle huffs as Josh smiles at me and they walk away. Amber walks with Camron to the wheel and he pays for her and him to go on.

“You want to go on with me Jules.” Maria asks and I can see that she does, so I push her in the direction of the wheel and laugh.

“Go, have fun. I’ll wait right here.” I say pointing to the floor. she nods her decision, and I stand away from the wheel. it will be another Ten minutes before they get off again and that’s ok.

we haven’t even been on the dodgems yet and I’m eager to go there next. I get the feeling that someone is standing close to me, when I turn around, there he is. Tane. my beautiful hot guy.

“You don’t want to go.” he nods to the wheel, and I shake my head no.

“don’t like heights.” I mutter feeling silly all of a sudden.

“Shame.” that’s all he says as he steps closer to me, and I feel his body heat.

“you’re not working.” I ask feeling dumb.

“Taking a break.” he replies watching the wheel turn, his neck stretched up as he watches it go round. he has a beautiful neck.

I watch as Julia and Maria go past, both yelling and smiling. then Julia does a kissy face, and I blush. Tane must have seen it too because he smiles.

“I’ll take you on.” he nods towards the wheel, and I step back.

“it’s ok.” I reply feeling sick form just the thought.

he watches me closely but doesn’t comment of make fun of me.

“How about I win you a toy.” I look at him then. he has a grin on his face, and it makes me smile. why am I smiling like an idiot.

“You think you can win one.” I ask and he chuckles like he knows a secret.

“I know I can.” is all he says, and I twist my fingers in front of me.

“On one condition.” he adds, and I listen for him to speak.

“If I win you a stuffed toy. you go on the wheel with me. on the last night of the fair.” that’s his condition. well shit. how badly do I want him to win me a toy. very bad.

“Ok.” that’s all I can muster up. lame, lame, lame.

we walk close together. his arm touches mine and it feels so good. so hot and smooth. my belly is in knots. my hands are sweaty.

“Which one. pick one.” he says stopping at a random stall. this is one of them games where you have to throw a ball into a barrel without it bouncing out.

“Nobody wins on these games.” I say quietly while he watches me.

“Not everyone is me. now pick one.” he asks again, and my body vibrates with wanton need. he’s so close I can smell his aftershave, his deodorant. his washing powder.

His eyes are a shade of green. the scruff on his chin makes him look older than 20. we should not be this close.

“The white bunny.” I say pointing to the large white bunny hanging by its ears.

Tane leans over to talk to the guy who runs it. he nods and hands Tane Three balls. he looks at me and winks.

The first ball rolls into the barrel and spins around and around before falling back out. I hold in a laugh because he was so confident.

The next ball does the same and he huffs in annoyance. but the third ball stays in and I know that means he won a small prize which is fine by me. only the man behind the stall hands him the bunny and Tane, hands it to me.

5: Neve

by the time the girls joined me again. Tane had gone back to the dodgems, and I was smiling like an idiot. Julia stroked the bunny in my arms, and I squeezed him closer.

“What will you name him.” she asks, and Amber comes over with maria. both girls give me small knowing looks.

“Ripley.” I smile. Julia loves the film aliens with Sigourney weaver. we have watched that movie hundreds of times.

“Ripley it is. come on. let’s go see your man.” she tugs my hand, and Amber laughs at her sentence. I look back to see Maria smiling too.

“How was it with Camron, did he kiss you.” I ask and she blushes and then sighs.

“He asked me out but no he didn’t kiss me, not yet.” she squeals and jumps up and down on the spot.

“Wow. that’s great. you like him a lot huh.” she can’t contain her excitement. we reach the dodgems and wait in line.

Tane is spinning cars as Montell Jordan sings, this is how we do it. he comes into view, and I hold Ripley tighter. my belly dancing with butterflies again.

“When are you going out.” Julia asks her and they have a conversation about it. I try to listen I really do, but how can I when Tane keeps looking at me with that smile.

“What did he say to you.” Amber asks nudging me in the side.

“Huh.” I frown because I missed most of that.

“I asked what, did he say to you when we were on the wheel.” I nuzzle Ripley. Tane spins around again and winks.

“Oh. he said that if he wins me a toy, I have to go on the wheel with him on the last day of the fair.” it’s not until I say it out loud that I realize what I’ve agreed too.

“We haven’t been able to get you on the wheel and we have known you years. damn he’s good.” Julia giggles and squeezes my side. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach.

the ride stops and it’s our turn. I don’t know what to do with Ripley and I don’t want to lose her on the ride. luckily Tane comes over and takes our money, taking Ripley too and putting her inside the center booth.

Corona the rhythm of the night starts to play, and the ride takes off. Tane switches from our car to the next. we spin and we spin. Tane comes into view, his handsome face smiling at us. his big body moving us.

I haven’t laughed so hard in forever. all four of us scream as we spin around, and around.

when we come to a stop. Tane hands me Ripley and his fingers brush mine. he, winks again and the girls all giggle. we step off the platform and run straight into Henly and Candice.

“There you are. thought I saw you earlier.” Henly smirks as Candice looks anywhere but at me. Candice is a bitch. she looks at her nails like she would rather be anywhere else than here.

“didn’t think you were coming here.” I say trying not to look behind me at Tane. I don’t want him to see my sister. its childish I know.

“Why wouldn’t I come here. besides you did ask me to come hang out with you. here I am.” her eyes catch on something behind me and my heart drops.

“Well, hello big, tall and gorgeous,” Candice snaps her head in the same direction and its game over.

“let’s go in the house of horrors.” I suggest but she isn’t listening to me anymore. her eyes are firmly on Tane.

he must see her too because she smiles and plays with her necklace. I spin around and there he is. looking right at me. not her.

“let’s go on the dodgems Can.” Henly smiles as Candice grins wickedly. this is not good. not good at all. I feel my heart is about to implode.

“Come on Neve. you can introduce me to the hottie who can’t stop looking at you.” Julia looks at me with concern and I wilt under her stare.

“I just went on, I’m dizzy.” I try to get out of it, but Henly is like a dog with a bone.

“Nonsense. you go on this thing Twelve times in a row and don’t get sick.” she chuckles and pulls me towards the ride.

Tane gives me a confused look. he watches where Henly is grabbing me, and he frowns. we wait our turn, my friends all standing back. nothing they can do.

I throw Ripley to Julia who catches her and hugs her close. we climb on the ride and Tane walks over to us.

“Hi. I’m Henly, Neve’s sister.” he nods and takes her money before answering her.

“Nice to meet you. keep your hands inside the car at all times.” he didn’t tell her his name and I smile on the inside. Henly looks at me then. a scowl on her face.

the ride begins and Michael Jacksons beat it comes on over the speakers. I don’t feel joy on this ride. I don’t scream and throw my hands up like I would with my friends. I feel trapped.

Tane spins us and Henly does everything she can to win his attention. he only looks at me, but that makes her madder. he makes her madder.

when the ride slows Henly grabs my knee and squeezes it in warning. I don’t know what she’s warning me against. so, when he lifts the bar, I’m not expecting her to say what she’s says.

“Oh, and by the way. she’s 15.” my cheeks pinken and Tane looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. he never asked me how old I was. I would have told him.

he looks so disappointed in me. I feel sick like I’ve done something wrong. Henly laughs loudly to something he said, and she hands him a note. he puts it in his pocket, and I step down the platform towards my friends.

Henly walks away and I turn to face Tane. he shakes his head at me and turns away. I feel my heart break right down the middle. my first crush, gone in the blink of an eye.

“Come on Neve. let’s go home.” Julia crowds me on one side, while Maria walks on the other. Amber takes up the rear and we walk home in silence.

I cried that night and for the next few nights. we didn’t go back to the fair. I feel like my happy place had been tainted. turned into something seedy and wrong.

Julia refused to go out of loyalty to me. but Amber and Maria went, and they told me Tane wasn’t there. he was gone and I would never see him again.

Ripley slept with me for the next Two weeks. she was my rock. my silent soldier. mum asked me over and over again what was wrong, but I remained quiet. Henly teased me relentlessly about my first crush dad finally telling her to can it.

with the school holidays upon us, we spent our days down by the pool. we went to the cinema. we ate ice-cream and shopped in the mall. I worked every weekend and picked up every available shift.

but in the end, nothing could make me forget Tane.

6: Neve

Henly is late to pick me up. she always forgets to pick me up. it’s annoying and I’m tired and hungry. it’s an hour walk home but she said she would pick me up because I had hockey practice and mum was busy.

I wait another 10 minutes and decide to walk to the garage where dad works. he has worked for Nigal for over 20 years and it’s only a 20-minute drive home from there. dad will let me use the phone to call Henly to see where she is or if she forgot.

it’s not a cold day. but September turns chilly at a moment’s notice. I have my P.E skirt on and a long-sleeved top. my socks are knee high, and my trainers are scuffed and green from playing on the field.

The garage is noisy when I arrive. dad has his head inside a ford Sierra. the bonnet is up and he’s grumbling about oil and changing it. he doesn’t notice me first. Nigal does and his booming voice startles me and dad, who hits his head on the bonnet.

“Little Neve Castle. you finally come to see your uncle Nigal.” he laughs dragging me in for a hug. Nigal is like an uncle to me. he’s as tall as dad and had gray beard that smells of fish.

“Jesus Christ.” dad groans as he turns to look at me squished in Nigal’s arms. my face smooched into his broad chest. my arms dangling down by my sides because I can’t move them.

“Put her down you big ogre. what are you doing here Neve.” he asks rubbing his head and checking for blood. my dad is over 6 foot 3. he is lean and well built. strong arms and thick thighs. he has the same hair color as me. Henly is like mum.

“Henly forgot to pick me up again. can I use the phone or stay and wait for you.” I ask hopefully as Nigal lets me go. he blows out a breath and puts his hands on his hips.

“That girl. she’ll be the death of me. I’ll be a while.” he replies and Nigal steps away finally.

“that’s fine. I have homework. but I’m hungry and thirsty.” I haven’t eaten since lunch and its now 5.

“Go up to the office, call home. there’s snacks and drinks, help yourself. I’ll call you when I’m done.” I nod and Nigal pats me on the head and walks away. I know the way because I’ve been here loads of times over the years.

there are 5 bays. all with cars either on the ground or up in the air. the last bay has a Ford capri mark 1. it’s in forest green and is in mint condition. I take a closer look because I love cars.

Two feet poke out from under the hood. I step back when they slide their body out and I almost have a heart attack. Tane. My Tane.

Tane gets up and stands in front of me. blue overalls cover his body. his face and hands dirty with grease and grime.

What do I say. how do I act. it’s been weeks and I thought I had lost him.

“I didn’t think I would see you again.” I blurt. so Lame Neve.

“I didn’t think you would be underage.” he counters back, and it hurts. he rubs his hands on a rag and stares down at me.

“How old did you think I was. you didn’t ask.” I snap back feeling threatened.

“No. I didn’t, and I should have.” he replies and turns away from me.

“How old did you think I was.” I ask again before he can get too far away.

he looks back and sniffs.

“17 at the youngest.” he replies, and I told my arms over my chest.

“So, if I was 17 you would still be interested.” I ask and he looks away. something behind me is more interesting and I hate it.

“doesn’t matter now does it. your 15. your too young for me.” my heart hurts all over again.

“How old are you.” I ask and he brings his eyes back to me.

“23.” I close my eyes briefly. he is too old for me. dad would never allow it.

we stand in silence. the room spinning for all the what ifs. it’s not fair.

“Neve.” dad yells and I flinch.

“Upstairs now.” Tane walks away and I slump on the spot. I hate being 15. you can’t do anything at 15.

I walk up the stairs with my bag banging behind me. I slam the office door harder than I mean too. I slump in the chair feeling utterly defeated. Tane works here. so close, yet so far.

half an hour later and one phone call to mum, who promises to get hold of Henly. the door opens and in walks Tane. he looked so good with his overalls wrapped around his slender waist. his hair is messy and sticking up all over the place. he walked past me to the coffee machine.

“What are you writing.” his voice made me jump from my thoughts. when he is near, he’s all I see, all I think about.

“it’s an English assignment. we are leaning about Romeo and Juliet.” he leans on the sideboard and crosses his feet.

“Why didn’t you tell me you worked here. I thought you worked for the fair.” I add as an afterthought. he watches me with his green eyes.

“I told you I was helping out a friend.” I huff and turn away from him.

“We could be friends you know. ill grow old one day and then you might like me.” my cheek heat when I say the words. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

“I like you just fine.” I spin to face him again. my heart beating to loud in my chest.

“But you are too young for me.” he adds, and I slump again.

“Where do you live.” I ask innocently.

“Why, so you can stalk me.” one side of his mouth lifts and I smile back.

“Maybe.” I shrug as Henley’s voice rings out downstairs. I get up and look though the small window.

“I forgot. I was at an interview, and it went over. cut me some slack dad.” I look down at her standing in front of dad. dad running his hand through his hair.

Tane stands beside me. that familiar smell of deodorant, fresh washing powder and soap, fills my nose. his arm brushes against mine.

“Your sister walked here. you had one job to do Henly.” dad yells back. both of them standing toe to toe.

“Oh, I’m sorry, poor Neve. you yell when I don’t try, and you yell when I do. I give up.” Henly stomps away from the garage and through the side door. dad yelling after her.

she stomps up to the office with anger on her face. she stops short when she sees Tane standing next to me. a smile curves on her lips, and she licks them for good measure.

“Well, well, well. look at you two all cozy up here. what would daddy say. hey you. I never did get your name. you remember me right, from the fair. Neve’s sister.” Tane nods but doesn’t reply.

“Neve, go wait in the car for me.” I look from Henly to Tane and back again. he still doesn’t speak. she looks at me with such hate I scramble to put my things away.

“Go and wait in the car. now.” she hisses, and I shoulder my bag and wave bye to Tane. he keeps looking at me as I make my way down the stairs and out to her car.

I wait for what feels like ages when she finally appears. dad watches her walk by with a shake of his head. she climbs in the car, and we start to drive home, her singing a happy tune.

7: Neve

summer has officially ended, and winter is now upon us. Christmas is in Two weeks and Julia, and I are currently shopping for gifts.

“ohh those.” she points at some socks which have spanners and screwdrivers on them. dad would love them for sure. we giggle as we continue to look.

“Get your mum that mug. she loves tea and cats.” Juliet picks up the mug that says I’m more of a cat lady. we continue through the store until I see a black beanie which reads, working hard or hardly working.

Tane would look so good in this, all this thick hair hidden under a cute hat. it’s not expensive so I slip it in my basket anyway and hope Julia doesn’t ask me about it.

“What are you getting Henly.” she asks, and I stop walking. my mind has gone completely blank. because just thinking about Tane has conjured him up. he’s standing outside the store, one leg propped up against the wall as he smokes.

he looks so good standing there with his dark jeans, his grey top and a dark brown leather jacket. his combat boots are open, and the laces are hanging free.

“Are you listening to me. what are you looking…. ohhhh I see.” Julia comes to stop next to me.

“He is so fine. go talk to him.” she nudges me, and I trip forward into one of the clothes rails.

“What would I say.” I’m so nervous. he already told me I’m too young for him. but then he also said he liked me just fine.

“Just go say hi. it’s not difficult. I still need to find a few things, come find me when you’re done.” she shoot’s me away and wanders off towards the toy section.

I walk to the door and put my basket down on the floor. I’m wearing light jeans and a black roll neck top today with a navy-blue bomber jacket. I even put in some small gold hoops and I’m wearing a clear lip gloss.

“Hi.” I squeak when he spots me. he runs his eyes up and down my body, finally coming back to my eyes.

“Hey.” well this is not awkward is it.

“Christmas shopping.” I thumb over my shoulder because I’m lame and he looks uninterested.

the silence lasts a few seconds, and I hate it. he looks at me and then looks away again. he does this several times.

“What did my sister say to you. in the office.” I tried to ask Henly, but she wouldn’t tell me. she just kept smiling like she had a big secret.

“Not much. cares about you. I’m older. your younger. I should stay away, that kind of crap.” he shrugs, and I sink inside my coat. she didn’t need to say that to him.

“I’m sorry. I would have told you eventually. it’s not like you had asked me out on a date or anything. it’s not a big deal.” I’m rambling now and that gets a smile out of him.

“don’t sweat it. I’m over it.” he’s over it. what does that mean exactly.

“You still got the bunny.” he asks, and my cheeks turn pink.

“Yeah. she sits on my desk and watches me do homework.” I admit that one piece of truth. the other truth is that she sleeps with me very night. but I won’t tell him that.

he nods, deep in thought. he finished his cigarette ages ago, but he’s still here. with me. still letting his eyes roam up and down my body, all over my face and my hair.

“I should go. I need to meet a friend.” when our eyes lock, my heart thumps loudly in my ears. I don’t want him to go.

“Is it a girlfriend.” I cringe when I say it. but he gives me a small smile.

“Why. Jealous.” he grins, and I shake my head. truthfully, I would be very jealous, but he’s not mine.

“You never told me where you live.” I sound desperate and my voice is needy and rushed. all he does is smile again and shakes his head.

“Your stalker tendencies know no bounds, Neve.” he teases me, and I blush again.

“I’m not a stalker. you’re my friend too.” that’s sounds Lame Neve. I scold myself on the inside.

“Friends eh. when did that happen.” he puts his hands in his jean’s pockets.

“When you won me Ripley.” I smile back and he tilts his head.

“You like the movie, Aliens.” I nod enthusiastically.

“Me and Julia watch it all the time. we started to watch the third one, but I thought it was boring.” I ramble as he listens.

“So, you named your bunny after the main character. that’s cool.” he seems amused now, playful even.

“Try again with number Three, it gets better.” he adds pulling another smoke from his packet.

“You want to watch the second movie with me. as friends.” I ask and he tries not to smile.

“Nice try. no can-do Newt. you coming to my place to watch a movie. bad idea. your sister would kill me.” just the mention of Henly turns my mood sour.

“Then come to ours. dad won’t mind. you work with him after all.” I try everything I can to see him again. but all he does is smile at me and lights his cigarette.

“I’m busy tonight. family stuff. maybe another time. and only if your sister is around.” my heart drops. why does she have to be around. I mean, I get it. but really.

“So, if Henly agreed to it. you would come round to watch a movie with us.” I asked hopefully and he half smiled while sucking on his Cigarette.

“Sure. your dads cool. and Henly seems… decent” he shrugs without commenting on me. Henly decent. she used to be, but lately she’s gotten more and more aggressive.

“And me.” I can’t help but fish for information. I need to know how he feels. is all of this in my own head, or did I feel a spark between us.

“I like you just fine.” he said that a few weeks ago. those exact same words. my belly flutters as he grins and sucks on his cigarette again.

“I think your friend is waiting for you.” he nodded his head behind me and there stands Julia with a big smile on her face.

“If I come to the garage to see dad, you promise not to ignore me.” I fidget with my coat as he flicks his fag away. he zips up his coat and puts his hands in his pockets.

“I will never ignore you, Neve. but from now on I’m calling you Newt.” he gave me a nickname. I could jump up and down with excitement rushing through my body.

I walk backwards to the shop as he stands watching me. the pull between us is strong, like two magnets that hate to be pulled apart.

“See you soon. friend.” he shakes his head at my playfulness.

“See you around Newt.” he counters back, and I have to fight with everything I have not to run to him and throw my arms around him.

he spins on the spot and makes his way through shoppers. his jeans hugging his firm bottom. his black boots thick and heavy as he stomps away. I can’t stop watching until he is gone.

Julia looks at me with a grin. she is bubbling with questions and curiosity.

“That looked intense. but the two of you together look so good.” she has a dreamy look in her eyes, and I snap my fingers in her face.

“Come on you. let’s get this stuff paid for and go find some food.” I pull her along to the checkout and we pay for our things. Julia sees the beanie I picked up but stays quiet about it.

8: Tane

I stomp my way into my small flat, slamming the door behind me.

“Really Jude. you were supposed to meet me at the Golf club. I waited for you.” Jude looks at me with a bored expression. he just got released from prison and is staying with me.

“Parole officer turned up. bitch stayed for an hour going over my options.” he makes fingers quotes when he speaks.

“Told her I already found a job.” he adds looking back at the Tv which is playing some sitcom.

“What job.” I ask taking off my jacket and hanging it up.

“Down at the Rye. Dax said I can work behind the bar.” he sniffs like it’s not a big deal.

“What the fuck Jude. you can’t be around alcohol. did the parole officer agree.” I ask clenching my fists in frustration.

Jude just served 2 years for sexual assault against a minor. he was black out drunk when the girl cried rape, and he had his charges reduced on a technicality.

“She said she would speak to Dax herself. see what the job entails. don’t sweat it T. I’m reformed. not a drop of alcohol has passed these lips.” he grins like he’s proud.

“You only got out Two days ago dipshit.” I huff. he asked to stay here. part of his parole meant he needed a place to stay. this is my fresh start that comes from being his brother. but now it’s his too.

“Relax T. I have to do random drug and alcohol tests. if I so much as fart in the wrong direction. I’m back inside to finish my final Year.” he sounds so sure of himself. he always was a cocky little shit.

Do I believe he didn’t hurt that girl. not really. but he cried when he was arrested. said he was slipped something in his drink. doesn’t remember going into his girlfriend’s younger sister’s room.

The sister should have been done for child endangerment. she threw a party with her kid sister in the house. who does that. thankfully when Jude went inside, she split, and he hasn’t heard from her since.

“You called mum yet to tell her you’re out.” I ask and he looks away from me. mum didn’t believe he him, even when he begged her for forgiveness, she refused. said it was bound to happen the way he partied so hard.

“What about dad.” I ask knowing it will be met with silence. dad stood by him and it drove a wedge between our parents. in the end, I moved because I couldn’t stand the fighting.

“One shot Jude. if you fuck me over here. you’re out.” I warn and he nods still looking at the Tv.

“And for god’s sake. clean up after yourself.” I kick a dirty shirt that’s on the floor and he grumbles under his breath. I take off my boots and enter the kitchen looking for food.

The fridge has seen better days. the shelves half empty and I growl. I pull together a sandwich and join him in the lounge. he managed to remove the pile of clothes while I made us food. that’s one thing I can stop moaning about for now.

“Where you been anyway.” he asks taking the plate from me and cramming half the sandwich in his mouth.

“Apart from waiting for me.” he grins, and I close my eyes and count to five.

“Waited in town for you. walked around a bit. spoke to some people and then came home.” I answer as he flicks through the channels and stops on a movie. fucking Alien.

seeing Neve again filled me with a rush. yes, she’s too young for me, but she’s fucking beautiful. her body is that of a small boy. but her face. she has a small nose, wide eyes and her hair. it’s not brown, or black. she’s stunning.

If her sister hadn’t told me how old she was, I would have asked her out on a date. she’s just my type and it makes me shiver. I should feel disgusted after what Jude did. but I like her just fine. nothing will ever happen between us but for now that’s fine too.

we can be friends. that thought has me smiling. her sister is kind of a bitch. but she cares for Neve. she told me at the garage that her dad is always on her case about looking for work. she said she lost her last job but still pays for her car and her fuel.

“You’re smiling. did you get lucky.” Jude watches me and I flinch. he does not need to know about Neve.

“I like this movie, that’s all.” I cough awkwardly.

“Yeah. I call bullshit. you met anyone yet.” my mind instantly goes to Neve. now known as Newt. and I shake my head.

“Not got time. I work long hours remember.” he nods but he doesn’t get it. he’s just shy of turning 21. never really had a job. never really had any responsibility.

“I can help out at the garage. I’m good with numbers.” he offers, and my mind instantly shuts it down. if Neve was to come around. I hate that I feel that way, but he did what he did and there’s no going back from it.

“We don’t need anyone. Nigal takes care of the books. just concentrate on getting in with Dax. or looking for something else. like working in a library.” I watch the movie with a mouth full of food.

“Love this part.” it’s the part when the Alien bursts from Jon Hurts chest. Jude ignores my comment, and we continue to watch the movie.

“Man, I need to get laid. it’s been Two years. you know any chicks I could bang.” he wiggles his eyebrows at me, and I feel disgusted with him.

“Seriously. Jude. sort a job. stay clean. that’s your priority. not banging chicks. and NO. I don’t know any.” I huff and get to my feet.

“Dude. chill the fuck out. you believe me right. I didn’t touch that girl T. tell me you believe me.” he looks so young. so lost, but I don’t know what to believe anymore.

“I’m going to bed.” I let out a deep sigh when he looks at me with broken eyes.

“I believe you had a bad thing happen. you got accused of something shitty, but I know what your like on the booze. just stay clean and do better. please.” I stare at him for a long time until he nods.

“I’m going to prove you wrong. all of you.” he nods again, and I nod back.

“Prove it to yourself first. you’re my brother and I love you.” I reply as he turns back to the TV. I need sleep. I’m exhausted and have to be up early tomorrow.

“I’ll see you after work.” I add walking to my room and shutting my door. I strip off my clothes and brush my teeth in my small bathroom.

I collapse on the bed with a thump. my mind swirling of everything that’s happened since I moved here. Neve is always there. the shy 15-year-old that I have no business thinking about.

I don’t want to end up like my brother. I just need to stay away. don’t give her any hope that we will be together. she’s smart and beautiful. but she’s not mine.

9: Neve

January 1996

“Why did you buy me a hat.” Tane asks when I see him at the garage. Henly forgot to pick me up again and I walked here to see dad. ok, I walked here to see Tane too.

“I saw it and thought of you. it was meant to be for Christmas, but I didn’t see you.” I reply feeling silly. even though he now has the hat on his head, and he looks cute as hell.

“Why did you think of me.” he asks taking a hit from his cigarette. he smokes too much, but I like the smell on him.

“When I saw you that day. in town. I saw the hat and thought of you and then, there you were. it was like fate.” I reply sitting next to him on the low wall.

“Thanks. but you shouldn’t be thinking of me. I’m too old for you.” he huffs and takes another hit from his smoke.

“I know. but we’re friends right. I can buy my friends gifts.” he smiles at me and uses his shoulder to push into mine. such an innocent act, but my belly flutters with nerves.

“Yeah, we’re friends Newt. I like you just fine.” he smiles and readjusts his hat again. he looks so good today. his overalls covering his lean body. fingerless gloves on his hands.

“it’s my birthday next month.” I blurt and he looks at me with a side eye.

“16 right.” I nod and smile. another year and he might actually start to see me as an adult.

“You know the legal age for sex in the UK is 16 right.” I realize what I’ve said too late, and I want the ground to swallow me up.

“Yeah, and I’ll still be 8 years older than you. not happening, so get that thought out of your head.” he’s grumpy today. I didn’t mean to piss him off. I huff loudly.

“What are you doing when you finish school.” he asks out of the blue. he’s talking to me like he actually cares.

“I’m going to collage to do advanced English and math. then to Cambridge university. I think I’ll do hospitality management or get a degree in fashion. I’m undecided.” I muse and he listens intently.

“Good. concentrate on that. not worrying about boys and sex.” he clips off his answer and I huff again. he makes me feel like a child.

Henly pulls up in her Honda. her music is loud and heavy, but Tane looks her way and smiles when she gets out of the car.

“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite people. what are you doing here Neve.” she asks walking closer but looking at Tane.

she’s so confident in her ways. her long legs spilling from under her short skirt, even if it is January and its cold as hell. she flicks her hair over her shoulder.

“You forgot to pick me up again. “I huff as Tane fidgets beside me.

“I’m sorry little sis. I was working. you can wait in the car for me. it’s cold.” I hate it when she dismisses me like that.

“I’m fine. I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes.” I reply and she swings her eyes to me. I don’t want to leave Tane.

“Go wait in the car. now.” she snaps and Tane looks at me. he must see the hurt in my eyes.

“she’s fine. she was keeping me company on my break. don’t be too hard on her.” I relax slightly. thank you Tane.

“I’m sorry. I just worry. go warm up Neve. we can grab pizza on the way home. my treat.” she’s being overly nice and its confusing.

I get up and grab my bag from the floor. Tane watches me the whole time. his eyes following me as I walk to the car.

“Seeya Tane.” I say quietly as he nods my way.

“Seeya Newt.” he replies and Henly scans her eyes from him to me. if looks could kill.

They chat for a few minutes and Tane nods to something she says. he nods a few times actually and Henly looks at me and back to him. I wish I knew what she was saying.

she finally gets in the car and starts her up. the heat thaws my bones, and I sigh. Tane waves when we pull away. his smile just for me and I love it.

“So. Thursday night. movies. Tane wants to take me out. thought you could bring Julia so you’re not a third wheel.” a few minutes pass as we drive past the pizza shop and into our street.

“Thought we were getting pizza.” I ask and then realize she was never going to treat me to cheesy goodness.

“I don’t have any money. I had a job interview today. fingers crossed I get it. what do you say. Movies. you, Julia. me and Tane.” I just realized that she now knows his name and I hate it.

we stop outside the house, and she climbs out. her perfume lingers with how strong it is. we reach the front door, and she spins to me.

“I only invited you because Tane seems to like you. he said you’re like a little sister he never had. its sweet. what do you say. want to spend the evening with your big sis, just like old times.” the ice around my heart melts and I find myself agreeing.

the fact that Tane sees me as a kid sister he never had bothers me. but what can I do.

“I’ll talk to Julia. we could all go together.” I suggest and she snorts.

“I don’t think so. we can meet you there. he’s picking me up at 6.” my shoulders slump in defeat and we walk inside the house. mum is singing in the kitchen, and I feel lighter already.

I walk up to my room and grab the land line from next to my bed. Julia picks up after a few rings and I smile.

“Miss me already.”

“Just needed to hear a friendly voice.” I reply laying down on my bed.

“what’s up, you sound sad.” she asks.

“I am. Tane asked Henly to go to the movies on Thursday. but he only asked her if she would bring me. he sees me as a little sister apparently.” I sigh loudly and Julia squeals.

“Neve. he asked you to go to the movies. doesn’t matter how he did it. he still did. this is good news.” she giggles, and I smile because she’s right. he wants to spend time with me.

“I guess. will you come too. I don’t want to be a third wheel.” I groan and roll over.

“of course, I’ll come. it will be fun.”

we talk for a while longer and then my stomach grumbles from lack of food.

“I’m going to go get some dinner, then I’m going to bed. see you tomorrow.”

“See you then, sweet dreams bestie.” she laughs, and we hang up.

10: Neve

Thursday is here. I’m a bag of nerves as I try to find something to wear. Julia is sitting crossed legged on my floor watching me run around in a Panic.

“Just wear your jeans and polo neck. it’s cold as hell right now.” she fake shivers as she sits in her jeans and baggy brown jumper.

“Ok, which color. black or the Burgandy.” I hold up each top and she thinks with her finger on her lip.

“Burgandy. what jacket will you wear.” she asks, and I point to my long black parker jacket. she nods with approval.

“it’s almost 6. we should get going unless you want to watch him pick your sister up.” I do not want to watch that. so, I pull on my top and grab my ankle boots.

“let’s go. I can’t watch as she fishes for compliments. I don’t want to hear him say how pretty she will look.” I pant pulling on my jacket.

we make it down the stairs and out to the street in record time. the walk to town is only 10 minutes. it’s cold but my body is surprisingly warm.

Five minutes later car lights shine on us from behind. then they slow to a stop beside us. Tane is sitting behind the wheel, Henly beside him. the window rolled down.

“Why are you walking. its freezing, get in.” his deep tone holds no arguments, and we jump in the back it the beefy jeep.

“I told Henly I would pick you all up.” he sounds annoyed and Henly huffs in her seat.

“it’s ok. we don’t mind the cold, do we Jules.” I reply and she nods excitedly.

“Absolutely not. Henley told us to meet you there.” I almost kick my best friend. I don’t want to get Henly in trouble, because it will only come back on me later.

“Why did you tell me they chose to walk.” Tane asks Henly and she turns to glare at me. I swallow and look away.

“They always walk. it’s no big deal.” she replies, and I can see he’s annoyed with her.

“it’s freezing outside, for someone who says she’s cares. you don’t act like it.” he scold her, and she gets red in the face.

“Sorry. Neve is stubborn.” I almost yell, No I’m not. but where would that get me.

“she’s right. I am.” I agree and she nods her head towards me.

“See. she’s fine. they both are. let’s just get there and watch a stupid movie.” Henly huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

Tane looks out of his side window and his eyes connect with mine. his green eyes bore into mine and I feel warm all over. he handles his jeep like a pro. its sexy as hell.

he parks the car close to the building, his large body exits the car, and he opens my door for me, holding my hand so I can climb out. he does the same for Julia and she blushes. Henly huffs again and opens her own door.

“You look really pretty tonight, Newt.” he whispers as we walk inside. Henly walking behind with Julia. I feel like a princess.

“let’s get tickets and then some snacks.” Tane talks as we make our way to the ticket booth. Henly pushes past me and stands next to Tane.

“let’s watch eye for an eye.” Tane looks at Henly and shakes his head.

“They aren’t old enough.” he replies, and me and Julia pull a face behind her back.

“So. we can watch it, and they can watch a kids movie.” she tries her hardest to get him alone, but he won’t budge.

“How about happy Gilmore with Adam Sandler.” I suggest and Tane nods his head. Henly groans and looks at me like I’ve grown two heads.

Tane pays for all of us, and I try to object but he won’t hear of it. we buy some snacks and again he tries to buy but I grab some things for myself, so does Julia. Henly has to take what he offers because she has no money.

“you two go sit in the middle. Tane and I will be in the back.” Henly pushes us away and I feel like absolute shit. Julia sees the look on my face and hugs my arm.

“We should all sit together. I don’t like sitting at the back.” Tane replies and moves close to me. he takes a seat and pats the one beside him. Julia taking my other side. Henly having to take the one near the isle.

she sits with a huff but then makes herself cozy as she cuddles up close to him. Tane offers me some popcorn and I smile taking a handful. I offer him some M and Ms. and he smiles back picking the brown ones.

the movie is good. funny and we all laugh, even Henly much to my Suprise. halfway through Henly goes to the toilet and Juliet goes with her. she winks at me, and I smile.

Tane continues to watch the movie, his hand hanging on my armrest. I move mine closer and our fingers touch. he looks at me and then to our hands, I watch the screen like it’s the best thing that’s ever been invented.

when Henly comes back, he moves his hand and it’s like it never happened. but I know it did. his warm skin brushing against mine. he didn’t move because he felt it too. this connection between us.

when it finished, we all pile outside, everyone giving their version of what we just watched. Henly looks like she’s chewed on a wasp and Tane looks like he would rather be anywhere else.

“Shall we drop the kids off and go for a drive.” Henly asks seductively and Tane looks down at her.

“I’ll drop you all off because I have work tomorrow.” Henly huffs and I smile. I don’t want them to spent time together.

“Mum asked if you want to join us for dinner Sunday night.” I almost choke on my spit as we walk towards the jeep.

“She did.” I ask confused as Tane unlocks the car.

“Yeah. thought she would like to meet the man I’m interested in. dad was excited when he heard your name.” she looks so happy right now. I hate it. Tane looks like he hates it too.

“I guess I could eat. if, you’re sure.” he sounds so undecided, his eyes falling on me.

“We could watch Alien Thr afterwards.” I blurt as Tane looks at me and smiles.

“Uh, that stupid movie. I don’t know how you can watch it.” Tane shakes his head, and we all climb in the car. Tane is coming to dinner. Tane will be in my house. I’m so happy I could scream.