31: Surprise

Levi’s POV

The next few days went by fast. Charlotte obliged, helping me with endless therapy throughout the day. She brought me to the pool, to the gym, lifting weights then walking with the ceiling harness. She knew I was tired and needed more rest, but I refused to stop.

My left side was still weak and uncooperative, jumping into spasms whenever I pushed too hard. I was getting angry with myself and I knew that if I took a break, even for a moment, that I would end up giving up.

Charlotte sensed my conflict and tried to reassure me, but it only made me take out my frustrations on her. I know I was being a dick, but she was there and that’s the only way I know how to deal.

Friday morning arrived and I impatiently waited for Charlotte to take me to the gym. I was sitting in my chair facing the door with my arms crossed when she walked in.

Not phased at all by my discourteous appearance, she says,” I see someone is in a foul mood this morning”.

“Can we just get to the gym”, I rudely ask.

I know I haven’t been the nicest all week, and she has put up with my sour behavior, but it’s my birthday and I haven’t even heard from my parents this morning. It’s like six hours ahead of Boston time, so there’s no excuse for them not calling.

“Actually, Nate is going to work with you this morning, I have a lot of things to catch up on”, she says.

“Great”, I slowly and sarcastically respond.

” I will see you this afternoon”, she says and walks out the door.

What was that all about? Maybe she’s finally had enough of my attitude this week. She didn’t even wish me a happy birthday! How does she not know, I thought she’s looked up everything about me? This is just like any other day here, it’s not like I can really go out and celebrate.

Nate takes Jake and I into the gym for strength training. The two of them act oddly strange the entire time. I’ve probably made them angry this week too. I better figure out how to lighten up before everyone hates me.

Rolling out of the gym after my workout, I’m startled by someone grabbing my wheelchair handles and pushing me.

“Hey, how was your workout?“, Charlotte asks.

I shift my body and head around to look at her. She looks happy… that’s a relief from our earlier encounter.

“Umm, it was good”, I answer her.

She starts to push me faster and turns me into the door of the lounge.

“SURPRISE! Happy Birthday!“, I hear everyone shout.

I catch my mouth in my palm before it drops to the floor. Nate, Sarah, and all the other patients are there as well as my parents, Mark and three of my mates from back home. I’m speechless!

“How…What… are you all doing here?“, I stutter.

“We’re here to celebrate! You wanker!“, my mate Andy teases.

My other mate Landon chimes in, ” You may be avoiding all of our phone calls, but you can’t avoid your birthday”, he laughs.

“It’s really good to see you”, Josh says to me, punching my shoulder.

” Charlotte told us that if we didn’t get our asses here, she was going to come to London and beat some sense into us”, Andy confesses, everyone laughing now.

I turn around to look at Charlotte. She’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, smiling.

“You did this for me?” I ask, my voice filled with gratitude.

Charlotte smiles at me and shrugs her shoulders like it is no big deal.

We all chat for a while and enjoy some pizza and cake. My mum smothering me with too many hugs and telling me how proud she is of the progress I’ve made.

My mates tell me about everything going on back at home. Andy has been living at my flat, taking care of everything there. I didn’t know how they would act around me now that I’m in a wheelchair, I didn’t want them to pity me. I can see now that they are the same lads I knew and loved before my accident. It’s me who is different. It’s me who can’t be back home hanging out and doing what we used to together, I’m afraid of not being the same person anymore so I tried to push them away.

” Get ready mate! We’re taking you out for drinks tonight”, Mark states.

” What? No! I can’t “, I protest.

“Oh yes you can! We didn’t come all this way to watch you sit here… We’re going out to celebrate”, Landon adds in.

“Charlotte has given us permission, so go get your ass ready”, Andy jokes.

I wheel over to Charlotte, ” Do you mind helping me”, I ask her.

She follows me to my room, and I stop near my bed, staying silent for a few seconds.

” I can’t believe you got them all here”, I say softly.

“They wanted to be here Levi, they missed you!”

I stay quiet, looking down towards the floor, trying to hide my fears about going to the pubs tonight.

Charlotte sits on the edge of the bed, close to me and puts her hand on my knee.

” You need your friends Levi, and they need you”, she says.

Her face is so pure, I can’t help but stare back at her, mesmerized by her solicitous multi- colored eyes.

“How am I going to get around stairs and such?“, I nervously ask.

“There’s five of you, I’m sure you’ll all figure it out, and none of them will let anything happen to you”, she assures me.

“It’s your birthday, now go have some fun”, she reminds me, and pushes my chair towards everyone waiting for me.

Josh claimed a low table at the first semi-crowded pub we went to and Mark bought a few rounds of shots. Apparently the first pub was too boring for them, so after we swallowed down our last shot, they maneuvered my chair along the cobblestone walkway to the next pub.

Charlotte was right, my mates had no problem pushing, pulling, and lifting me over any steps. It felt like old times, the only difference was that I’m not standing and walking, I’m being pushed around.

The next pub was much more entertaining. A live band, people were dancing and drinking.

“This is the place! ” Landon is pleased to announce.

I don’t remember much after the fourth drink I was handed. I remember being coerced onto the dance floor, people spinning my chair around to make it look like I was dancing.

It was extremely late when they strolled me back through the doors of the rehab center.

I hear Charlotte say something that sounded like, ” What did you guys do to him?“.

Then one of the lads jokingly says, ” We only promised to get him back here in one piece”.

I must have passed out shortly after because I woke up at 10:00am the next day with a splitting headache. I looked over towards my nightstand to see someone left me orange juice and aspirin.

Charlotte knocked on my door a few minutes later, “How are you feeling?“, she chuckles.

“Hahaha”, I smirk back.

“Time to get up”, she demands.

“Everyone’s waiting to have breakfast with you, and apparently they all want to participate in the gym workout”, chuckling again.

“Fuck No!“, I blurt out.

“They are here for a few days and they insist on torturing you they said”.

Everyone enjoyed mocking me at breakfast, except my parents, they were just pleased to be enjoying a meal with me.

The lads acted like fools in the gym, playing wheelchair bumper cars and swinging on the parallel bars while I was trying to walk with the ceiling harness. Jake and Nate were in hysterics following along with them of course.

I’m glad they came now. I was thoroughly amused by their behavior in the gym. All was right until Landon picked up a pile of tabloids from the table in the hall and shouts, “Oh shit! Did you guys see this?”

Multiple pictures of me on the cover from the pubs last night. A random girl wearing a half shirt and mini skirt sitting across my lap and kissing my neck. Ridiculous headings flash across the top of the page… ” Levi breaks out of rehab”… ” Levi finds new love interest”.

“What the hell!… Throw that shit away”, I demand.

I look over towards Nate, “Did Charlotte see these?“, I nervously ask him.

“Yes, I think so, as she’s the one who took them from the delivery guy”, his voice shaky when he answers me.

Oh no! I didn’t want her to see these pictures. I don’t even know who that girl is. I don’t even remember her on my lap. I know I’m not with Charlotte, but I can’t shake this guilty feeling I have inside, I need to apologize to her or something.

“Where is she?“, I ask Nate.

When he tells me she’s in the lounge I head straight there. I’m not sure what to say. I just need to know if she is upset with me or not.

Charlotte is sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. She’s reading one of those stupid magazines with my picture all over it and has a blank look on her face which worries me even more.

“Charlotte?“, I speak softly as I slowly approach her.

She quickly looks up, places the magazine on the table, her expression still unreadable, but her voice light and simply says, ” Oh hi Levi”. She then gets up and turns like she’s headed for the door, and I grab her arm to stop her.

” Charlotte, please don’t believe any of that garbage those people write in there, they will say and do anything to make headlines from a picture of me… I don’t even remember most of last night”, I try to assure her…or myself, I don’t know.

“I know Levi, no worries, you were having a good time”, she blankly states. Then before she leaves the room, she tells me that Nate will be doing the rest of my therapy today and she’ll see me at dinner.

Crap! I knew having a good time this weekend would be short lived. Nothing ever goes right.

The lads sensed my troubled mood, so continued to banter with me during the rest of my therapy, hoping I’ll snap back to my usual self.

Charlotte showed up to dinner and sat with all of us. I was so relieved to see her and glanced at her every few minutes wishing to catch her glancing at me.

“So, we’re leaving tomorrow but we will see you again in two weeks in London for the gala”, Mark says.

“No, I’m not going”, I protest, my body tensing up.

“Yes, you are going, even if I have to drag you on that damn plane”, Mark argues.

“Charlotte can come with you”, he points out.

Charlotte accidentally drops her fork, surprised by Marks suggestion.

“What? Me go to the gala in London… with all the other movie stars?“, she nervously shrieks.

” Well why not? It’s no different than hanging out with Levi or with me”, Mark tries convincing her.

“Except for the fact that it is different… everyone else can walk”, I angrily remind him.

“You’re going Levi, end of story”, Mark orders.

Everyone had to leave after dinner. Their flight was early in the morning and no one got much sleep this weekend. We said our goodbyes and thanked everyone for coming to visit me. I promised Landon that I would answer my phone when any of them call me from now on, and they seemed happy with that.

Charlotte was waiting in my room after I was done my shower. She didn’t say anything, she just walked over to me and helped me get onto the bed. I kept looking at her trying to figure out what she was thinking.

“So, do you want to talk about your reason for not wanting to go to England for the gala?“, she asks with a serious tone.

“No, I don’t want to talk about it”, I firmly answer her.

“She looks defeated and starts to walk towards my door saying, “Ok, I guess I’ll see you in the morning then?”

“Wait!… I’m sorry… Don’t leave please”, I’m feeling frantic now.

I scoot over in the bed and pat the space next to me.

“Can you please stay a little while? We can watch the tele?“, I anxiously plead with her.

Feeling I could have a panic attack if she decides to go, she surprises me instead, slowly making her way over, climbs up and sits next to me on the bed.

” Thank you for this weekend Charlotte”, I whisper while clicking the remote, searching for any good show we could watch.

I’m surprised again when she reaches over to hold my hand, gently linking her soft fingers with mine, sending a shiver through my body. I don’t know what it is about the way she takes my hand in hers, but it always makes me comfortable enough to unveil my thoughts and say things I normally wouldn’t.

“I’ll go to the gala if you come with me”, I quietly say to her.

“I can’t, why would you want me to go to that type of important event with you?” she curiously asks me.

I take a deep breath before pouring all my emotions into what I say next.

” I need you there with me, I’m terrified of what might happen there… I can’t be there without you Charlotte”.

My heart feels like its pounding out of my chest at a rapid speed. This momentary pause is too long. She probably thinks I’m crazy or desperate. I’m definitely feeling like a little bit of both, and the way I’m staring at her waiting for her response proves it.

“Ok I will go”, she grins, squeezing my hand with hers again.

32: Someone To You

Levi’s POV

So far, I’ve managed not to make anyone angry this week. Everyone here has been in a good mood and I have been fully cooperating for once, it’s nice!

The only person who seems preoccupied and anxious this week is Charlotte.

Ever since I asked her to accompany me to England for the gala, she’s been in a rare mood. I’ve never seen her get upset or impatient with anyone until this week.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk about the gala, it’s more like she asks questions about it and when I answer them, she gets all worked up.

She goes on and on about how everyone that will be there is famous… how all the women will be in gorgeous dresses that she can’t even afford…

I chuckle at her when she says those things, but she glares at me and walks away. I don’t like that she feels that way, that she feels so inferior to people whose jobs are acting on film. Because of the media and paparazzi, movie stars are portrayed as perfect, beautiful, flawless beings, who people like Charlotte only dream of meeting. Never mind attending a gala with!

Charlotte has nothing to worry about though. She’s as beautiful as any other actress who will be there. Everyone gravitates to her uniquely caring personality, and Mark and I will be there to keep her company. Hopefully by next weekend I can convince her that everything will be fine. I’m the one who’s nervous about being the movie star in a wheelchair, nervous about how hard it will be to travel in a chair, how I’m not looking forward to facing Emma again.

Most of my therapy was in the pool this week. Charlotte thought it would be a good idea for me to walk without braces in the pool instead of in the gym. It has been frustrating getting my left leg to take any successful steps without collapsing, even with the water surrounding me. Since Charlotte was already in a bad mood, I refrained from showing any of my emotions.

“We are going to walk at least 10 steps today, even if it takes all day in here”, she tells me.

“That’s not a very reasonable expectation”, I sarcastically respond.

I’m holding onto her shoulders to support part of my weight…well really just my right arm is supporting my weight, my left hand is only resting on her shoulder and she’s holding my hips. My balance is much better when I’m in the pool that she only tightens her grip on me when I take a step.

I’ve tried stepping with my right leg first and I’ve tried stepping with my left leg first, either way it doesn’t make any difference, I have to put my weight on my left and my leg always gives out. Luckily, my right leg is quite strong now and I’m able to place all my weight on that leg without falling over when I’m in the pool.

Charlotte looks just as frustrated as I do, and I hear her sighing when I fall towards my left.

She looks embarrassed when she notices I hear her sigh and quickly says, “I’m sorry. I’m not frustrated with you Levi, I’m upset that I haven’t figured out a successful way to help you with your left side yet”, she admits.

“It’s not your fault Charlotte, we are both trying here… maybe my left side will never work the way we want it to”, my voice heavy as I come to terms with this possibility.

“I don’t believe that”, she retorts.

She then slowly reaches up and grabs my left hand, slowly moves herself to stand by my left side and wraps my left arm around the back of her neck and over her left shoulder, keeping hold of my hand with hers. Her right arm now firmly wrapped around my lower back and her hand grasping my right side. We are attached to each other side by side now, her supporting my left side like a crutch.

I look at her with curiosity, “What are you doing”, I ask.

“I’m not sure yet, but let’s give it a try”, she says.

“Take a step with your left when I step”, she instructs.

I start doing like she says, and we start walking together. My left leg still giving out but I’m not losing my balance and falling over while we are holding on to each other like this.

She lets out a “Hmm”, and then smiles, so we continue walking this way until we make it all the way across to the other side of the pool.

“This doesn’t fix your left side, but while we keep working on getting that side stronger, we can keep practicing walking this way… if you’re ok with this?“, she asks me.

“Yeah of course”, I happily answer.

“This way does feel much easier”, I add.

After lunch Charlotte meets me back in my room. I’m sitting on the side of my bed when she arrives, carrying one of my leg braces and one forearm crutch.

I look at her curious as to what her next plan is.

“So, I thought we could try walking together but with your left leg brace on to keep your leg straight, and we can try having you use the crutch with your right arm for extra support”, she says to me.

“Ok, yeah”, is all I say.

She attaches my leg brace to my left leg and then sits down beside me on the bed. Suddenly she takes in a deep breath and lets out a long sigh before putting her head down and whispering, ” I don’t belong at the gala… I’m not famous or important, I’m nobody compared to everyone who will be there”.

This time I’m the one placing my fingers under her chin, lifting her head up to look at me. Her beautiful eyes glassy like she’s holding back tears.

It’s my turn to comfort her and let her know how important she is to me. I place my palms gently on both sides of her face so she can’t turn away from me and I say with the most soothing tone,” You are someone to me”.

She blinks her eyes shut then opens them again to look at me one more time before she leans her head onto my shoulder. The only thing I can think to do in this moment is lean my head down and give her a small kiss on her head.

I’m falling for this remarkable girl and it’s killing me inside trying to refrain from grabbing her into my arms and holding her.

This mutual uncharted territory we’ve entered abruptly ends when she wraps my left arm around her shoulder and her right arm around my waist then stands me up.

It’s not as easy to balance as it is when I’m in the pool, but Charlotte’s grip around the back of my waist keeps me steady.

” Use the right crutch to put some of your weight on as we walk”, she tells me.

With my left leg brace on keeping my leg from giving out when I step, using the right crutch and the way I’m connected to Charlotte, makes it so much easier to walk. For the first time in a long time, I feel like this will all work out.

We walk together at a steady pace towards the front lobby.

“Should we head out the door so the paparazzi can take pictures of this and write stories about us?“, I joke with her.

She starts laughing back at me then goes silent, abruptly stopping us in our tracks. I turn to her, wondering what’s wrong. Her eyes are wide staring straight ahead and her mouth open like she’s in shock. Before I turn my head again to see what she’s looking at, I hear a familiar voice say, ” Hello Levi! I’ve missed you”.

I whip my head around, my eyes focused on the tall blonde walking through the door. I swear Charlotte and I are wearing matching expressions and I start coughing as I try to speak,

“Emma!”

33: Confused

Charlotte’s POV

“Emma, what are you doing here?“, Levi belligerently asks her.

“You’re walking!“, she says with surprise and excitement in her voice.

“Sort of…. you didn’t answer my question”, he growls.

“I wanted to see you, I missed you”, her voice becoming high pitched.

Levi squeezes my neck in his arm to wake me up.

“Unlikely”, he says to her.

This feels like a dream. If Levi hadn’t grabbed onto me tighter, my eyes would still be fixed on her, dumbstruck.

“Charlotte, please bring me back to my chair”, he whispers into my ear.

I turn us around so we can walk back to his room. I can almost feel Emma walking behind us, watching closely. I quickly glance back at her, her head slightly tilted, and lips pursed together. She’s studying the way we are walking.

I help Levi into his chair and unlock his leg brace so he can bend his knee.

“I thought we could go out and get a cup of coffee, catch up on things?“, I hear Emma ask.

“No, I’m good”, Levi retorts.

Emma crosses her arms and frowns at him.

” Come on Levi, Mark told me you went out with the guys last weekend, so I’m sure you can go out for a cup of coffee with me”, she argues with him.

“Fine, there’s a coffee shop two blocks down from here”, he finally gives in.

Levi maneuvers his chair through the door.

” You don’t want to walk with me?“, Emma asks.

“No, I’m fine in the chair… let’s go”, he commands her.

A small crowd of flashing cameras follow them as they make their way down the sidewalk together.

This is not going to end well; I think to myself. What is she really doing here anyway? She heard he went out with his friends last weekend, so that justifies her visiting him now, after five months!

“Why the sour looks on your face?“, Nate asks while walking by me.

” Emma just showed up and they are out having coffee together”, I answer.

“Oh…… umm, Jake is waiting for you in the gym”, he says, concern clear in his voice.

Jake is sitting on the floor mat when I enter the gym. His head jolts back as he gives me a wide- eyed stare. Before he has a chance to ask me about my foul mood, I proceed to tell him everything.

” I wouldn’t worry too much about Emma anymore”, Jake tells me.

“I’m worried about her hurting Levi again”, I point out.

“You shouldn’t worry about that either, it’s you that he cares about, not her”, Jake informs me.

“What makes you think that? Jake”

“Haven’t you seen the way he looks at you and how he acts around you… It’s love!“, Jake exaggerates.

“You mean his constant mood swings?… He needs me to help him, it’s not love he’s feeling it’s gratitude!“, I try to convince him.

Jake shakes his head, giving me a disappointing look and continues trying to persuade me.

” Charlotte, I feel overwhelming gratitude for you too, but I’m also in love with my girlfriend, there is a difference between the two”.

I shrug my shoulders and he realizes I still don’t believe him, so he continues.

” His mood swings are from feeling confused and frustrated. Gratitude doesn’t relieve his panic attacks or calm his spasms or make him fight to be better… love does.”

“Having my girlfriend here every day by my side, helping me and supporting me through it all, shows me how much she loves me. She is the reason why I don’t give up. It’s Love that makes me want to get better, for us… and that is who you are to Levi!“, he divulges.

I stay quiet, holding Jakes feet firm to the mat while he completes his sit ups and ponder everything, he has just told me.

Maybe Levi does feel something other than gratitude for me? I know I have feelings for him, the way my body shivers when he squeezes my hand, how I’m always thinking about him even when I’m not near him. He makes me laugh, and cry, he gives me purpose and makes me feel needed. These are things I have never experienced before with any other guy. I want more of him, but I can’t. I wish there could be more, but I’m not naive. As soon as his treatment is complete and he can live on his own again, he will go back to England, go back to his famous life, probably go back to Emma too or any other beautiful famous actress.

I help Jake get up to stand, hand him his crutches, and thank him for the talk.

“Charlotte, please think about what I told you. I think it’s you who has to figure out what you really want now”, he says to me on his way out of the gym.

Dammit Jake, why do you have to be right!

Just as I enter the hall, I catch Levi rolling toward his room from the lobby, Emma following behind. They are both arguing about something, but I’m not close enough to make out what they’re saying.

By the time I reach Levi’s room, I see him sitting on the edge of his bed. I was about to knock and enter his room until Emma gets up onto the bed and straddles her legs around Levi’s, aggressively kissing his mouth then his neck. I’m frozen by the door, once again in shock by Emma’s actions. I see Levi pull his head away, trying to avoid her lips and harshly tells her to get off him. She ignores him and continues to invade his neck.

” Get the fuck off me Emma!“, he shouts.

Emma climbs off Levi, and slowly backs away, startled by his rejection. Levi looks over at me which causes Emma to turn around too.

Emma’s face turns red, her eyebrows crease as she angrily glares at me.

“It’s her isn’t it?“, she hysterically asks Levi while pointing at me.

“You’re a fucking movie star, you deserve someone like me, not some therapist!“, she adds with equal hysteria.

“Just leave Emma! I don’t want you here”, Levi tells her.

Emma grabs her purse and walks through the door, gives me a smug look and gloats, ” See you two next weekend”.

My head is spinning. What the hell just happened? This day has brought nothing but torment. I need to take a walk, clear my head.

Levi quickly gets himself into his wheelchair and starts after me.

“Charlotte, wait, where are you going?“, he frantically asks while I jog down the hall.

All the sudden he grabs my left hand with his right to turn me, then pulls me down towards him and crushes his lips onto mine. A jolt of electricity surges through my body, my lips moving slowly in sync with his until my mind regains control of itself and I pull away.

I focus my gaze on Levi’s perfect face. I’m so confused right now, and the way Levi is looking back at me shows my feelings are reciprocated.

” I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pull away like that… I’m confused”, I quickly say to him.

He’s looking at me like he’s hurt now, so I just start spitting out what’s going through my mind.

” You spent the day out with Emma, then she’s climbing all over you sucking at your neck, then she leaves, and you pull me down and kiss me! I’m upset, confused and I want to kiss you again”, I blurt out.

His eyes change from worry to glowing after he realizes what I just said.

I grab his hand and give it a slight squeeze letting him know I acknowledge what he feels.

“Can we just talk?“, he softly asks me.

We both head into the empty lounge and sit down on the couch together. He proceeds to tell me that he thinks Emma only came because someone told her he was walking. He told Emma about his progress and all the ways I’ve helped him, but that she just seemed angry and disappointed in him, and when she saw how we walked together, she was jealous.

I thanked him for telling me then brought him back to his room and helped him to his bed.

” I have to go to California for 3 days this week”, I nervously say to him.

“Why?“, he asks, his tone angry.

I tell him about my new opportunity to expand my rehab center.

“There’s a new building my partners want me to look at before making any renovations.”

“It will only be 3 days and when I return, we can get ready for our trip to England”, I promise. ” I will see you in the morning before I leave”, I tell him, but he just gives me a half smile and turns his face towards the window.

34: The Gala

Levi’s POV

“Hey man, it’s already been two days, are you going to continue to be an ass until she gets back tomorrow?“, Jake jokes with me.

“Just focus on your own workout and I will focus on mine”, I smirk back at him.

“I don’t know what you’re sour about? she’s called you like four times a day since she left, she’s obviously thinking about you…a lot!“, Jake reminds me.

“She’s only calling that many times to make sure I’m not doing anything stupid like I did last time she was gone”.

“Do you honestly think that mate?“, he asks me in a more serious tone.

“I don’t know what to think! I kissed her then she pulled away”, I confess to him.

Why am I so stupid to think that she would feel the same way I do? I think to myself. How could we even have a relationship? What if I can never walk again or go back to acting again… what then? She pushes me around in a wheelchair spending all her time trying to fix me. I can’t even take one step without her holding on to me…

“Fuck!“, I accidentally blurt out and throw my crutch to the floor.

“Calm down man! You’re thinking about this all wrong”, Jake points out.

“Enlighten me please”, I sarcastically plead.

Jake shakes his head at me then explains with complete confidence in his voice,

” I’ve known Charlie a bit longer than you, the way she is with you is different than how she is with me or anyone else. She is the most kindhearted person I know, and she never gives up on any of us, she wants all of us to succeed. But when it comes to you, it’s more than that. You make her go crazy with worry, you make her laugh and cry, she smiles every time she’s with you…. she brings out the best in you when no one else can”.

“She feels something for you… and it’s not pity, I know that’s what you’re thinking”, Jake tries to convince me one last time.

The rest of my day was really a blur and I found myself in bed early for the night. I didn’t get much sleep though. My mind awake most of the night trying to rationalize everything Jake said to me today.

Charlotte returned the next afternoon. She was smiling when she found me in the gym, but I could read the worry in her eyes when she looked at me.

” I’m ok Charlotte, I was actually nicer than usual to everyone while you were gone”, I try to amuse her.

“Oh, that’s good to hear! I thought I’d come back to hear that you made Sarah cry again from your cruel behavior”, she chuckles.

I’m relieved to see that we are still acting like our normal selves, bantering back and forth, and laughing. I was worried things would be awkward between us.

” I should help you get packed since we’re leaving tomorrow”, Charlotte reminds me.

She quickly goes from one bureau to the next then to the bathroom collecting things I might need. She hasn’t let me do anything, so I just sit on my bed and watch her run her fingers through her hair, looking around one more time to make sure she didn’t forget anything.

” Is this how stressful packing is supposed to look like?“, I tease her, but she just hisses back at me.

“What’s wrong Charlotte?”

“I’m nervous, that’s all”, she tells me.

I grab her wrist when she tries to walk past me.

“Stop, you didn’t forget anything, you packed everything I’m sure, now sit down and relax for a minute”, I command her.

She sits down next to me then takes a deep breath in followed by a long sigh.

“Sorry, I’m worried about not finding a dress when we get there”, she says softly.

I can’t help but start laughing, ” That’s what you’re worried about? A dress?”

Charlotte scowls and hits me on the shoulder.

” Not every girl is lucky enough to have their dress tailored to them by a famous designer”, she snips at me.

“Charlotte, you will look perfect in any dress”, I try to convince her.

She gets up off the bed, looks through my bag one more time then tells me she must go home and pack her things. This time things did feel awkward between us when we both paused and looked at each other, contemplating our next move. Charlotte acted first and decided to just say goodbye and she’ll see me in the morning. Wow, I really screwed up that moment! I think to myself.

The next morning, Nate brought his car around the back side of the building, hoping the photographers out front won’t spot us when he brings us to the airport. Charlotte gives me a baseball cap to wear, hoping it will help hide my face. She puts both leg braces on my legs but only locks the left one straight. I wish the cap would hide my face better because Charlotte catches me wince in pain and instinctively reach towards my left leg.

I’ve learned that my left side spasms become more frequent when I work those muscles too much or when I’m overly anxious. This morning I’m extremely anxious. How is she going to get all our luggage and me around the airport? I know we are flying first class, but It’s still going to be difficult for me to get onto the plane, and anyone who recognizes me will be snapping photos of it all.

“Hey, everything will be fine, remember?“, she says to me as she unlocks my leg brace and starts moving my leg around, massaging my muscles, before locking my brace again.

Nate already has my wheelchair in the car, so Charlotte puts my left arm around her shoulder, wraps her arm around my waist and stands me up with her. I wince again and exhale when I stand causing her to look up at me with concern.

” I’ll be fine, let’s just walk it off”, I reassure her, then grab my right crutch so we can walk to the car.

Logan Airport is crowded when we arrive. Nate checks in our bags curb side while Charlotte helps me out of the car and into my chair. I hang on to my crutch as Charlotte pushes me to the security check in. We get priority check in but since I’m in a wheelchair, security pulls me aside and searches every part of me and my chair like I’m a terrorist. It was completely embarrassing and attracted too much attention for my identity to go unnoticed by strangers claiming to be my fans.

“Let’s just get to our gate”, I groan at Charlotte who looks just as embarrassed for me.

Charlotte grabs my left hand and pulls me to wheel next to her as we make our way to the gate. I don’t want to make the boarding process more of a problem so I ask Charlotte if we can have the flight attendant check in my wheelchair and we can walk onto the plane together. She happily agreed with my suggestion and the flight attendant allowed us to be the first ones to board.

Our 6-hour flight to London went by quick. We both watched a few movies, listened to music, and took a short nap.

My mate Andy picked us up when we landed and took us to my flat.

” Andy’s girlfriend Kate is going to bring you out dress shopping while I stay here with Andy”, I inform Charlotte.

“What about your tux? When are you going to get that?“, she asks me.

“Oh, Mark already has my tux, he’s bringing it over later”, I tell her.

“Of course, he is!“, she says slightly annoyed.

The gala was being held at the Waldorf, so Mark had a car pick us up. When we arrived, Charlotte and I checked into our adjoining rooms. I still need help, so I made sure our rooms are connected.

Charlotte helps me get into my tux and has me stand in front of her, holding on to her shoulders while she buttons my shirt.

When she reaches the top button, she pauses for a moment and looks up at me.

” Have you seen or spoken to anyone here besides Mark”, she quietly asks me.

“No, I’d rather wait for everyone to stare at me all at one time… get the humiliation over with in one shot”, I try to joke with her, so she doesn’t notice how much it bothers me.

She reaches up and cups my face in her hands and says, “Levi, people only stare because they’re afraid of what’s different or unknown to them. And if that’s all they want to do is stare, then stare back, make them feel uncomfortable. The ones who look at you just for a second are the ones who are fascinated with you… I mean, that’s why I’m always staring at you”, she smiles.

“You stare because you’re fascinated with me?“, I smirk at her.

” Of course, I am! You were just balancing with only one hand on my shoulder and you didn’t even realize it”, she beams at me.

“Shit! I was!“, I chuckle, a little too soon to celebrate as my left leg gives out and Charlotte quickly has her arms around my waist.

She finishes straightening out my tux and helps me in my chair before going to her room to dress.

Women take so long to get ready I complain to myself. But it’s worth the wait because as soon as Charlotte walked back into my room wearing a long silky blue dress that accentuated every part of her perfectly toned body, my mouth nearly dropped to the floor. I was breathless, she was beautiful!

“So how do I look”, she asks with a high-pitched voice, clearly nervous.

“You look stunning!” I tell her. It’s true, I don’t want to look away. Maybe I will just stare at her all night and won’t worry about who’s staring at me.

” Ready for this?“, I ask her, holding out my left hand for her to grab.

” No, I’m not ready for this”, she says.

” I’m not either”, I laugh as we head out towards the gala.

We arrived at the vast room, large glass chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Every round table covered by silky white cloth and decorated with gold silverware, red and white roses for the centerpiece. A large dance floor situated under the balcony which holds the live orchestra band.

Charlotte gasps in awe, like she’s never seen anything like this before. I squeeze her hand to try and ease her anxious thoughts.

“Levi!“, Mark yells from across the room.

All eyes turn to look at me. The entire cast from my last movie is here along with their significant others, the director, producer, and everyone else who’s important. They are all staring at me like I was afraid they would. I feel Charlotte squeeze my hand because she knows how I’m feeling at this moment. So, I do what Charlotte said and make my way over to the people who didn’t look at me like I was some alien and start up a conversation with them.

Turns out Charlotte was right. Mark, my producer and anyone who I was close to on the set treated me like I was me, they were curious and wanted to know how I was doing….and the others, well, I did my best to ignore them.

“Emma! Liam!” someone shouts.

I look over and see Emma and Liam walk through the door, arms linked together at the elbow. Of course, she’s with fucking Liam!

Everyone sat at the round tables for dinner. Mark and his girlfriend sat with us and he proceeded to inform everyone at our table about how wonderful Charlotte’s rehab center is and all the stuff they have there for me. Charlotte looks uncomfortably shy when all attention is focused on her, so I reached under the table and put my hand on her leg letting her know she’s doing fine.

Mark then changes the subject and starts talking about the movie and its release date. All the guys engage in Mark’s conversation. Thankfully, some of my co-stars’ girlfriends include Charlotte in a different conversation, otherwise she would just be sitting there feeling totally out of place.

After dinner everyone was dancing. Charlotte was up standing near the bar getting another glass of wine, and I was sitting alone at the table while everyone else hit the dance floor with their partner. A few songs later I was still alone watching everyone, and I felt myself getting angry the more I gazed at them all, gliding along the floor, me stuck in this stupid chair. Emma made sure to look my way every so often trying to provoke me with her body draped around Liam. I don’t know where Charlotte went, she wasn’t near the bar and I need her here with me before I lose my mind.

Just then I feel her face next to my ear, she’s in back of me, leans down and wraps her arms lightly around the front of my neck and whispers, ” Will you have this dance with me?”

Before I can answer, she moves in front of me and grabs both of my hands, pulling my wheelchair with her towards the dance floor.

“What are you doing?“, I growl at her.

“I don’t want to dance in my chair, it looks ridiculous “, I tell her.

“You’re going to stand and dance with me”, she says.

I pull my hands away from her and cross my arms when we stop at the edge of the dance floor and glare at her.

“I can’t, I will fall in front of everyone, I’m not wearing my braces”, I angrily whisper to her.

She leans down and takes my arms and wraps them around the back of her neck then looks straight into my eyes and asks, ” Do you trust me?

“Yes of course I do”, I say.

“Then dance with me! We got this”, she tells me.

My arms are tight around the back of her neck and her arms are tightly around my lower back as she stands me up. I hear a few loud gasps and look up to see that all eyes are on me.

” Everyone’s staring at us “, I inform Charlotte.

“Let them stare “, she says back.

We are still holding onto each other in a tight embrace.

” Step when I step”, she instructs me until we’ve made it a couple feet onto the dance floor.

She tightens her grip around my waist then takes my left arm off from her neck and brings it down so she can hold my hand in hers. My right arm holds tighter to the back of her shoulder, we are wrapped around each other carefully swaying our hips side to side. Making sure most of my weight stays on my right leg.

“See we’re dancing”, she says softly and smiles up at me.

I don’t say anything, I just see everyone looking at me, and picture myself falling.

“Just Breathe”, Charlotte whispers to me when she notices I’m holding my breath and beginning to shake a little.

“Levi, don’t look at them, only focus on me”, she says softly and holds me tighter.

We are in a dancing hold, and we are very slightly moving side to side, so I wouldn’t call this dancing, but it’s close enough. I put all my focus on Charlotte, forget about everyone else in the room and lean my head down to softly plant a small kiss on her neck then bury my face in her hair as we dance.

“You have no Idea what you do to me Charlotte”, I say so low into her hair, I’m not sure if she heard me.

Halfway through the second song I feel my legs start to shake.

“Charlotte!“, I frantically murmur.

She senses my worry and sits me back down into my chair. All eyes focused on me again like they are waiting for something bad to happen. Charlotte puts her hand on my cheek and moves my face so I can only see her.

“Let’s go back to the room”, she leans down and speaks into my ear.

She grabs my hand and leads us back to my room.

“I’m going to find you something to change into”, she says as she darts for my suitcase. When she starts to walk past me, I grab her arm and pull her down onto my lap, hold her face in my palm and crash my lips onto hers.

At first, she hesitates, but I press my lips harder to hers and she gives in, her lips taste sweet, and she caresses her tongue with mine. I brush my lips across her jawline then down to the base of her neck. I want her so badly it hurts.

She lifts my head, and her mouth catches mine again until she pulls away to catch her breath. When her green-blueish eyes meet mine, I can’t look away.

She starts unbuttoning my shirt then gets off my lap and pushes me back towards the bed. I wrap my arms around the back of her neck so I can stand, and she quickly detaches my belt and tugs my pants down to the floor. I sit down on the bed and pull her close so she’s standing between my legs and I unzip the back of her dress, letting it slowly slide off, revealing her perfect body.

Damn she’s so hot, standing so close to me wearing only her black lace panties! She’s seen me fully exposed before, but this is the first time I’ve seen her. Her flawless skin, her smooth flat stomach, the perfect shape of her small breasts.

I drag myself up onto the bed, so my back is leaning up against the headboard and watch her slowly climb on top of me, straddling her legs over mine. My right-hand steadies myself up, while my other hand grabs the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me to kiss her. The way her lips feel as she kisses me back, arouses a feeling deep inside me, making my need for her undeniable.

She pushes me back to lean on the headboard again, then leans her body into mine and slowly nips at my ear then softly kisses my neck. A shiver runs through my whole body as she moves her lips down to my collarbone. I caress her back with my fingers while she grazes hers down my stomach and stops just above my boxers. My whole body is shaking now, and my paranoia takes over.

I grab her hand before she pulls my briefs down.

“Charlotte, what if I can’t …. you know”, I say to her, my voice cracking.

She puts her finger on my lips, preventing me from saying any more then pulls off my boxers and takes me into her mouth. Her slow movements send a spark through my groin, I feel the flick of her tongue and the muscles in my thighs tighten.

“Fuck!” I gasp. I’m relieved everything works down there, and now my craving for her is getting physically painful.

I can’t wait any longer, so I reach down, pull her back up and roll her over so that I’m half on top of her now. I bring my right leg up and drape it over her hip, squeezing her closer to me and slide myself into her. She feels so soft, so warm as I move in and out of her, it’s intoxicating.

“If you only knew how you make me feel”, I moan.

We lay in bed after, her head resting on my chest and my arm around her back.

” Everything’s going to change now”, she says.

” Not everything, but some things”, I remind her.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe again.

35: My Place

Charlotte’s POV

We spent the next day at Levi’s flat so we could kill some time before our evening flight back to Boston.

His friends Andy and Landon hung out with us. Andy’s been living there taking care of the place while Levi’s been away, and I could tell by the way he slowly wheeled himself around through each room, that Levi now felt out of place in his own home.

I sat next to Levi on his couch listening to him talk and joke around with his friends, but he was not acting like himself. He held my hand the whole time and sometimes he would stare off into the distance while Landon and Andy bickered about who knows what. When I would nudge him back from wherever his mind wondered off to, he would squeeze my hand and give me a little smile.

I caught Andy glaring at our locked hands with disapproval more than once, but I could not figure out what he didn’t like about it. Am I not good enough for his best friend, or does he just think this is an odd relationship for us to start… like I am sure most people will think?

Things will be different when we get back to Boston. I will have to figure out how to balance professional with personal. Just because Levi and I might seem strange or different to Andy and whoever else, does not mean it is a bad thing.

“Can you help me into my chair?“, Levi whispers in my ear.

“Sure”, I gladly say, I then bring his chair close to him and guide his left arm, making him do most of the transfer on his own. He thanks me then rolls himself out onto his balcony and closes the glass door behind him.

Andy gets up and follows him out there, leaving Landon and I in the living room. We both look out towards Andy and Levi arguing about something then we look back at each other, both awkwardly trying to avert our eyes elsewhere.

“So, you and Levi huh?“, Landon breaks the discomfort in the room.

“I was waiting for you two to finally realize how you feel about each other”, he smirks.

“Is that a good thing or a bad one? Because Andy seems to disapprove”, I point over at the two arguing outside.

“You seem like you really care about Levi, and lately Levi only seems happy when he is with you, so that’s good enough for me. Andy is just worried that’s all. When Emma left Levi it nearly destroyed him, then he didn’t talk to Andy and me for almost 4 months!“, Landon reminds me.

He continues on… “Andy always hated Emma and how she only cared about herself. Andy told Levi she was only with him for status, but Levi did not listen to him. And when Levi ignored our calls after, Andy was really upset”.

I clear my throat thinking of how to defend Levi before responding to all that information.

“Levi was hurt when Emma left, he thought he was worthless because he was confined to a chair and needed everyone to help him with normal everyday things. He didn’t want his best friends to see him that way and he was afraid you would treat him differently, so he tried pushing you away before you had the chance to give up on him first”, I confess to Landon.

Landon sits back against the couch and crosses his arms. I can see that he is thinking about what I said. I look back at Levi and Andy and I am relieved to see Andy sitting on a patio chair, that their arguing has stopped.

I turn to Landon again, who is still sitting there quiet and I continue to tell him, ” Levi felt like he didn’t deserve anyone, I think he still feels that way, and I will do whatever it takes so he doesn’t feel like that anymore”.

“And that’s why I think you two will be perfect together”, Landon chirps, then taps my knee as he gets up to join Andy and Levi on the balcony.

The sounds of laughter coming from the three of them makes me less anxious, so I let them be and make my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As I go to grab some ice from the freezer, I notice the fridge door has a picture of Levi and his friends toasting together at some party. Looking at them all together happy like that makes me smile, until I go to close the freezer door and notice a picture of Levi with Emma. They are standing together, Levi’s arm around her shoulders while he is kissing her on the cheek. I must have been staring at that picture a little too long because the three guys startled me by strolling into the kitchen laughing and I frantically try to hide my face while I catch the lone tear rolling down my cheek.

“What’s wrong?” Levi asks me.

“Nothing… I… I had something in my eye”, I stuttered.

“Well, let us go then! I’ve got to get you two to the airport before you miss your flight”, Landon blurts out.

Thank goodness it is Landon taking us and not Andy! I think to myself. Knowing that Andy is not too keen about all of this makes me feel a little weird around him now.

As we head out to the car, me following behind Landon, I look back to catch Andy stop Levi.

“This isn’t going to end well”, I hear Andy say slightly louder than a whisper so that I can hear him.

I just keep walking, pretending I don’t know what they are talking about when Levi surprises me by responding, ” Well I think you’re wrong”.

Levi stays unexpectedly quiet the entire ride to the airport, throughout the humiliating security search, and all the way to our gate. Only when I left him sitting in the waiting area so I could check in his chair and come back, did he simply say, “Thank you”.

Once again, we were the first ones onto the plane. The flight attendant gave us enough time to walk down the ramp so we could sit in the front row before the other passengers made their way down. Right after I helped him into the aisle seat, he grabbed the arm rest and his body stiffened, “Ow! Dammit!“, he yells out, trying to reach for his left leg now in full spasm. I quickly unlock his leg brace and apply pressure to his thigh and knee with my hands, massaging his muscles until the spasm stops. I look up at him, his expression a mix of pain and anxiety. His breathing picks up, he is about to panic, and I know it is because he is afraid the other passengers will start to board and witness this ordeal. I press my hand down firmer onto his leg with one hand, step my leg over him so I am standing in front of him and lean towards his face, planting my lips onto his. He tries to speak, but I stop him, kissing him again.

I pull away just as passengers start to enter the plane and he keeps his gaze on me. His lips slightly parted, his eyes wide, he is calmer now so I carefully move his left leg to where it should be and climb over him to the window seat.

Levi keeps his gaze on me, trying to ignore all the passengers walking by us. His breathing has slowed but not back to the normal rhythm it should be.

“Are you okay?“, I softly ask him.

“Um, yes I think so, I don’t know “, he says back.

“Do you want to talk about what you and Andy were arguing about earlier today”, I nervously ask him.

Levi’s been way too quiet this evening and after the leg spasm he just had, I know it is because something is really bothering him, probably something Andy said to him.

“I don’t want to talk about it”, he groans.

I try a few more times to persuade him into talking, but he shut me down every time. He was content just holding my hand while I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Three hours into the flight, he finally speaks, ” Thank you for coming on this trip with me, I wouldn’t have gotten through it without you”, he softly says, then leans his head on mine and falls asleep.

Everyone at rehab was happy to see us when we got back. Nate informed me that I looked like crap and probably needed some sleep. He told me he would cover the rest of the day and instructed me to go home and come back tomorrow. I thanked him for running things while I was gone, then followed Levi to his room to drop off his luggage.

As soon as we entered Levi’s room, he shut the door and locked it behind me. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap. He then brushed his finger softly down my cheek and his thumb across my bottom lip, triggering a fluttery feeling in my stomach.

“You’re so beautiful”, he says to me before tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and pulling me towards his heavenly lips.

“Come rest in bed with me for a while”, he says.

“Levi, we can’t do this here, believe me, I want to…. but not here, I must be professional here”, I grudgingly say.

“Bring me with you to your place then, just for today?“, he shyly asks.

“You haven’t had any therapy in the last 24 hours”, I remind him.

“We can do some at your place, then you can take a nap because Nate says you look like crap”, Levi giggles.

“Fine, you can come”, I tell him.

His moods change so quickly so seeing him happy and joking around with me makes it hard to deny him.

” I don’t want to take my wheelchair”, he sternly says.

” I want to walk with you”.

“Okay”, I say, a little confused.

We get to my place and I am thankful now that I picked to live in the apartment building with an elevator. Levi asks me to walk him around on a tour of my apartment. It isn’t too fancy, but I have plenty of room for myself, a big kitchen, living room area with a huge couch and flat screen TV, hardwood floors throughout and two bedrooms… one I use as my office.

” I like your place”, he says to me while I walk him over to sit on the couch.

“Glad you like it”, I tell him.

” Will you be alright here for a bit while I take a quick shower and change?”

“Yes sure, hurry back”, he smiles.

I hurry into the shower and let the hot water pour over my tired muscles. I feel like my stomach is doing flips and my heart races every time I think about the way he touches my skin. I want to be close to him all the time. I have never felt this urge with anyone else before. I could stay enjoying the hot shower for another hour, but I just want to get back to Levi.

I put on a light pair of sweats and a t-shirt then make my way back to the living room. Levi is lying on his side, fast asleep on the couch. I grab a blanket and start to cover him with it when I feel him tug on my pants and pull me down to him. He shifts himself closer to the back of the couch so I can lay down. He wraps his arm around my stomach and squishes me into his chest and rests his face in my neck. I feel his lips gently brush the base of my neck and it sends a shiver down my spine.

“The things you do to me Charlie”, he breathes into my neck then gently kisses me.

Our bodies were aching for more, but our minds were exhausted from the complete lack of sleep in the last two days, and jet lag on top of it. So, we just snuggled together on the couch, his arm and leg nestled tightly around me, holding me close against his chest until we happily fell asleep.

36: Inconvenience

Charlotte’s POV

I gently unwrap Levi’s arm from me to sneak away from the couch. It is 5:30am so I decide to use this time to shower and pack some clothes before I wake him up. My neck hurts from sleeping in the crook of Levi’s arm all night, but I am not going to complain too much, I love the comfort of his body holding mine. It is the first time I have gotten a full night’s rest without having any worry invading my mind.

“Levi, wake up!” I tap on his shoulder.

He rubs his eyes and stretches while trying to focus on me.

“What time is it?“, his voice groggy.

“It’s 6:30”, I tell him.

“6:30 at night? come back and lay down with me”, he pats the couch.

I pull on his arm, making him sit up.

” It is 6:30 in the morning, now come on I have to get to work”, I laugh and wrap his arm around the back of my shoulder to help him stand.

I bring him into the bathroom to use the toilet and so he can brush his teeth. We are awkwardly standing together at the sink while he maneuvers his toothbrush with one hand, his left arm around my neck and my right arm holding around his waist so I can support his weight. I am a little annoyed that he does not think anything of it, he just goes about doing what he has to do at the sink while I hold him up.

“You know this would be a lot easier if you sat in your wheelchair to do this”.

“No, this is fine”, he says nonchalantly.

“Ok, let’s get going then”, I say as I lead him around with me to my room to grab my bag, then to the kitchen to grab my keys and out the door to my jeep. I guess I cannot be too annoyed, I am the one who didn’t force him to take his chair with us yesterday.

We grabbed some Starbucks coffee and breakfast on the way to the rehab center. When we get there, I lead him to his room and towards his wheelchair.

“I’ll sit on the bed for now”, he says.

“Alright”, I exaggerate.

“I have a ton of work to catch up on, so you’ll have to meet Nate in the gym”, I let him know, and then lean towards him and plant a quick kiss onto his lips.

“I’ll bring your chair next to you so you can transfer when you want”, I try to say, but he cuts me off and says with a stern voice,

” No chair, Sarah can walk me to the gym”.

I give him a weird look even though he is the one acting weird today. I turn to walk out the door, let out a small sigh of confusion, and simply say, “Fine… I will come find you this afternoon”.

Why is he acting so strange about his wheelchair? I ask myself. Is it something I did or said, or worse, is it something Andy said to him yesterday causing this newfound persistence to not use his chair? As much as I want to be with him every minute, our arms wrapped around each other, walking together… I can’t. I cannot walk him around everywhere and get my work done. I need to get his stubborn ass back to using his chair.

I found him sitting on the couch in the lounge after I finished all my other work. No wheelchair in sight, only Levi. I walked over to him and he looks up at me smiling, then pulls me down onto his lap to kiss me.

” I missed you all day”, he cheerfully says.

I’m glad he’s in a good mood so I quickly blurt out, ” Let’s get to the gym, we are going to tackle your fear of the parallel bars”, hoping he doesn’t switch his mood to angry.

Too late! He pushes me off his lap and glares at me.

“What? No, absolutely not”, he grunts.

“Levi, you have to work on this and I’m going to be the one helping you this time”, I try to deter him from thinking about his first horrible experience with the bars.

He sighs while I lock his left leg brace, then puts his arm around me so we can walk to the gym. I stop with him right at the edge of the piece of equipment he’s so scared of and move myself to stand in front of him, in between the bars. I tightly grab both of his hips. He does not move and keeps both of his arms firmly holding my shoulders.

“Levi, you have to let go and grab the bars”, I tell him.

“No!… I can’t”, his accent accentuating his shaky voice.

“You’re not going to fall, your leg brace is locked and I’m holding you… you just need to grab the bars and practice using your arms to help you balance while you walk”, I let him know.

He slowly releases his grip from my shoulders and places both hands down onto each bar. As soon as he takes a step forward his left arm gives out and he huffs loudly at me. He does not fall though because I am holding his hips steady. He pauses to peer into my eyes and all I can see is frustration all over his face. So, I glide my grip up his left side to help straighten his stance while he tries to make his left hand hold the bar again. His arm continues to give out every time he tries to support his weight with each step, and he is staring at me like he wants to strangle me, but I ignore it. We almost reach the end of the bars when all of the sudden his left hand lets go and he yells, ” Ow! Fuck”. He winces in pain at his left arm going into spasm.

I quickly reach my left arm to wrap around the back of him, bring his spasming arm up to rest against his chest then bring myself close and embrace him.

“I’m sorry, we should’ve stopped after a few steps, I made you work too hard”, I apologize.

I keep hold of him, putting pressure on his left arm while it is embraced between us. It seems like he has been holding his breath forever, waiting for the pain to stop. When it finally does, he exhales and says, ” I’m fine now, can you bring me back to my room?“.

I get him back to his room and he lays down onto his bed, grabs the remote and starts flipping through channels, all while keeping his eyes from looking at me.

I sit down beside him on the bed, put my hand on his thigh and speak softly hoping that he will at least acknowledge me,

” I’m very proud of you for trying so hard on the bars, it will get better if we keep working at it”. He does not look at me, he just keeps his eyes focused on the screen and says,

“Hmm”.

Not sure what I should do or say now. I feel terrible that the parallel bars ended with a painful spasm and he is upset right now. So, I force myself to leave him alone in his room since he does not want to talk to me anyway.

I went home to try to get some sleep but of course I just ended up lying in bed worried about Levi. In the morning I made sure I got back to the facility before he woke up.

“Where did you go last night?“, I hear his tired voice ask me when I entered his room. I thought he would still be sleeping, but instead he tells me that he was up all night wondering why I left.

“I know you were upset with me, so I wanted to give you some space”, I tell him.

“I don’t need space… I just hate using the parallel bars”, he looks at me hoping that I believe him.

“I know … I’m sorry…That’s why we can take a break from the bars and try something else”, I say to him.

He is only in his boxers, so I throw a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt at him and tell him to get dressed.

He looks at me surprised and asks, “You are not going to help me?“.

“No, you can dress yourself, I will be back in a few minutes,“, I smirk, pushing his wheelchair next to his bed before heading out of the room.

When I get back, he’s dressed and sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Why aren’t you in your chair”, I ask him.

He narrows his eyes at me and growls, ” I’m not using the wheelchair so stop asking me”.

“Fine”, and I lean down next to him so we can grab hold of each other like usual and walk to the weight room. I bring him to the weight chair and strap in his left arm and leg. I set the weight at 5lbs and he begins alternating his arm and leg, pulling, and pushing the weight. After the first set of ten, I see him wince and hold his breath. He can barely move 5lbs now and his arm is twitching under the straps.

“Ok, take a break before you try it again, I’ll lower the weight this time”, I say.

“No! Do not lower the weight”, he demands in a harsh voice.

He struggles through another set until I see both his leg and arm shaking.

“Levi, you need to stop now so that you still have strength to work on something else today”, I persist.

He reluctantly lets me detach him from the weights and I pull him up to stand in front of me. When he wraps his arms around the back of my neck, I pull him into me and hug him for a quick moment. He does not seem to want to hug me back, so I let go and reach up to put my hands on both sides of his face, look into his worried blue eyes and say,

” You are doing great”.

He doesn’t respond, instead he looks at me and gives me a fake smile.

We went from weights to stretching to working in the pool the remainder of the day. I could see he was exhausted, dark circles forming under his eyes from lack of sleep. His stubbornness kept him going and he worked through his painful spasms. I kept praising him and rewarding him with small kisses and hugs, but he did not want to reciprocate my affection and I was afraid of finding out why.

The same went on for the rest of the week and then the next. Still stubborn, working himself too hard and refusing to even look at the wheelchair. I slept alone at my place each night while he was alone in his room. Somehow, even though I was also getting frustrated, I managed to keep acting the same around him, showing him affection and showing him that I cared. He is not going to push me away that easily.

It was now the day before Thanksgiving, and I had had enough of Levi’s behavior. If he no longer wanted me to be more than just his therapist, then he needs to tell me that.

Again, he was dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed when I arrived. This time he smiled at me when he saw me walk in.

“Good morning Love!“, he greets me.

I am in shock of course, not expecting this mood at all.

“Good morning”, I slowly stretch the words out from my mouth.

“Come here”, he beckons, stretching his arms out towards me.

I hesitate to make my way towards him. He pulls me into him and hugs me.

“I’m sorry for the way I have been acting”, he says with his head on my chest.

“You have been mad at me for the past two weeks! I want to know why”, I say to him.

He lifts his head from my chest and discloses, “I was not mad at you; I was mad at myself… I just took it out on you, I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry”.

“Why are you so mad at yourself?“, I ask him.

“Because we have tried everything to make my left side stronger and nothing is working. I am sorry if it bothers you to always have you walk with me, but I hate being dependent on a wheelchair, I do not want to use it…. I want my left side to work and I want to walk!“, his eyes tearing up as he confesses this to me.

I place a soft kiss onto his lips then he lays his head on my chest and hugs me again.

“I know Levi, that is why I’m going to California on Friday”, I tell him.

He quickly pushes back,

“What?”

“My new rehab facility in LA is open and I need to go there and make sure all my new programs are up and running”, I tell him.

I can see he is nervous, and I know he hates when I leave, so I quickly assure him,

” It is a very short trip, I’ll be back Sunday night, I promise”.

“Ok”, he solemnly says and looks down at the floor.

I grab both of his hands and he looks at me.

” Will you please come to my place for Thanksgiving tomorrow?“, I ask him.

His face lights up, “Sure I would love to”.

Thankfully, he stays in a good mood the rest of the morning and does not give me a hard time when I tell him I am leaving early to go food shopping.

“I am picking up my brother and parents from the airport tonight, and I’ll be back to get you in the morning”, I smile and kiss him goodbye.

Thanksgiving morning Levi was waiting in the Lobby for me when I arrived. I had to catch my breath at the mesmerizing sight of him. His hair was smoothed up and out of his face. His black jeans and light blue button-down shirt accentuated his blue eyes and his perfectly sculpted upper body. I am not sure what his firsts thoughts are when he looks at me, I am only dressed in a dark grey knee length dress with long laced sleeves. My long black coat covering most of me.

“Hey beautiful”, he grins widely.

“Hey!“, I smile then lean down to kiss him.

” You look really nice”, I whisper into his ear before we head out to the car.

Levi sat quietly and held my hand the whole drive to my apartment, only looking anxious and squeezing my hand when we finally get there.

” Don’t worry it will be fun!“, I try and convince him and kiss him on his cheek before helping him out of the car.

I have already filled in my parents and brother about Levi and his accident, so they will not be surprised to see me holding onto him as we walk in. My parents are usually disappointed in my choice of guys. My dad has always wanted me to find some smart doctor, but that would never work out with our jobs and schedules. My brother does not understand why I would want to date one of my patients, he says it’s like taking my work home with me all the time. I obviously do not agree with him, I know he is just looking out for me.

Everyone greets us when I walk in with Levi. My dad and brother shake Levi’s hand and ask him if he wants to watch the football game with them. I bring Levi to the couch and sit him down so he can lean on the arm rest. This is my chance to help my mom in the kitchen and get all the food out onto the table.

“Dinner is ready”, my mom shouts to the guys.

My dad heads right to the table but my brother takes his time watching Levi put his arm around me while I stand him up. I look over at my brother and he rolls his eyes at me to prove his earlier point. It would be better for Levi if he used his wheelchair here, he would not have to wait for me every time he wants to move somewhere.

Dinner tastes great and everyone is engaged in constant chatter. A few times I feel Levi reach under the table and squeeze my leg which makes me smile.

The three guys get back to watching football while I help mom clean up.

” Sorry I have to leave tomorrow mom, you can stay here while I’m gone and we can spend some time together when I get back”, I tell her.

She gladly takes me up on my offer and says they have a hotel for tonight but will stay at my place the rest of the weekend. I got my brother and father tickets to the Bruins game this weekend, so they are psyched about that.

After everyone left, I walked Levi to the bedroom, and he sat on the bed while I looked for comfortable clothes to sleep in. He changed into some cotton shorts but did not want a shirt. I certainly didn’t mind that.

He pulled me onto the bed with him.

“Come lay down next to me, you’ve done enough today”, he smirks.

I gladly lay next to him and pull the covers over us. He immediately turns on his side to face me while I lie on my back and he starts tracing my ear with his finger. Slowly and lightly, he brushes his fingers down my neck. He reaches under my shirt, making small circles around my breasts with his fingertips, then glides one finger down my stomach until he reaches my panty line.

“You should take these off”, he says, his accent makes his voice more seductive.

“Yes, that’s a good idea”, I breathe out.

My breathing is getting heavy as he continues to gently brush my skin with his fingers, causing goose bumps to form all over my body. He reaches his hand down and gently glides his finger into me and slowly pumps it in and out, my body tenses with pleasure and I grab down on the sheets.

” You are so ready for me”, he says.

I roll onto my side so that we are face to face, our bodies touching and move my hand down between his thighs and see that he is ready too.

” I need you Charlotte”, he moans, while sliding himself into me.

” It feels so good”, I say to him.

He catches my words with his mouth, pressing his lips hard onto mine while our bodies move together in a sensual rhythm.

We fell asleep after, encased in each other’s arms, both too tired to speak.

The next morning, I got Levi back to the rehab center, checked on all the patients, then talked with Nate to make sure he was all set for the weekend.

I went back to Levi’s room to say goodbye and found him still sitting on his bed where I left him.

” Are you going to stay in this spot until someone comes and walks with you?“, I joke with him.

He laughs, ” Yeah probably”.

” I don’t want you to go”, he looks down and says to me in a low voice.

I walk over to him and stand in between his knees and he grabs my hips to bring me closer. I grasp his face in my hands then lean down and kiss him.

“I have to go… there’s a new treatment that I have to make sure is up and running”, I say.

He pulls me in close and hugs me and I lean my chin on the top of his silky brown hair.

“Everything I’m doing over in L.A. is for you Levi, you will soon see”.

37: Am I Broken

Levi’s POV

I woke up early Saturday morning and spent most of the day in the gym. If Charlotte was going to be gone all weekend, I may as well keep myself busy to pass the time.

I let Sarah hook me up to the ceiling harness so I could practice balancing without anyone having to hold on to me. Nate got me working on the weight machine then doing some floor stretches and sit-ups.

“You’re being unusually cooperative today”, Jake jokingly points out as he is doing his stretches on the mat next to me.

” I promised Charlotte that I would be on my best behavior while she is away “, I smirk.

Jake laughs, “And when Kelly comes to work with you this afternoon, you will still be this cheerful I assume?“, he is mocking me now.

” If she doesn’t try to get me to use those damn parallel bars, then everything should be fine”, I chuckle.

We both stay silent after, continuing with our stretches. A few minutes go by and Jake stops his workout and sits down on the mat facing me. He looks at me and begins speaking to me in a serious tone.

” You know, you should be nice and cooperative like this more often, especially to those who are here to help you, and even more towards the one person who stays by you even when you are acting your worst… the one person who will do anything for you”.

“I know”, I agree with him.

“Then why? Why do you always close yourself off so that all is left is anger? Why does it seem like you are always trying to push her away?” Jake presses me.

I stop my stretches so I can focus on our conversation. I drag myself back so I can sit and lean against the wall. Jake is patiently sitting on his mat waiting for me to respond.

“Honestly, I don’t know why. I do not want to act that way with her. I just keep thinking that my twelve months will be up, and I will be left with only my right-side functioning. I don’t want this to be all I can do, just the thought of it makes me angry all the time”, I confess.

“Well, if that’s the fate you are dealt with, then it is up to you to choose how you are going to live with it, and who you want by your side”, he plainly tells me.

I don’t want to accept that this will be my fate though. But each day that goes by that I cannot stand on my left leg or use my left arm to support my weight, reminds me that this might be the rest of my life, that I will be dependent on a wheelchair and someone assisting me the rest of my life.

“Why don’t you tell Charlotte how you feel instead of holding it all in and then taking it out on her?“, Jake asks me.

“She already spends enough time trying to fix me. I want to be the one who is there for her, doing things for her, but I can’t. I do not want her to have to be the one always taking care of me. Her brother already doesn’t like me and thinks I am a burden to her”, I put my head down feeling ashamed while I explain how I feel to Jake.

He grabs his forearm crutches and stands up to walk out of the room. Just before he leaves, he throws one more reminder at me.

“Please try and talk to her more, you two are good together and I would hate to see you drift apart just because you are too scared of what you don’t know”.

Everything Jake said is right. I know I need to work on a lot of things, I don’t want to lose her.

Sunday came and went without a hitch, and before I knew it, it was almost half past eleven. Charlotte isn’t supposed to be back until after midnight, so I get in my wheelchair, grab my journal and head to the lounge. I would stay in my room, but I do not want to fall asleep before Charlotte gets here, and it is too late to ask Sarah to walk with me, so I dismally resort to using the chair.

Venting my thoughts into my journal will be good for me, while I sit on the couch waiting for her.

Some time passes and I must have dozed off while I was writing because I open my eyes and realize I am lying on the couch with a blanket covering me. My phone says it is three in the morning. Oh no, did I miss her? Did she even come back yet?

Right before I allow myself to get upset, I see my journal set on the seat of my wheelchair with a note attached to it.

The note reads….

I’m sorry I got in so late. You looked so peaceful sleeping; I didn’t want to wake you. I will see you when the sun comes up.

~Charlotte

P.S. I am glad to see you used your chair again and your journal.

There are still a few more hours left before sunrise, so I make my way back to my room, hop onto my bed and force myself to fall asleep again.

Morning comes and Charlotte wakes me up by climbing into my bed next to me and wrapping her arm around me. I wouldn’t mind waking up to this beautiful girl next to me every morning, I smile to myself.

I roll over and plant a kiss on her soft lips.

“Good morning beautiful”, I smile and kiss her again.

“Good morning, I missed you”, she says which makes me grin wider.

She gets up off the bed and grabs my hand, pulling me to sit up on the edge of the bed.

“Get up, we have a lot to talk about”, she says.

I am puzzled, did Jake tell her about what we talked about yesterday? All kinds of random thoughts start flooding my mind and I can feel my heart beating faster. I cannot let myself get worked up when I don’t even know what she wants to talk about. So, I take a deep breath and reach for her hands and hold them in mine as she stands in front of me.

“What is it you want to talk about?“, I slowly ask her.

“About next week’s trip to L.A. This time we will have to stay there for two weeks”, she says.

I stopped listening after she said the words, “next week’s trip” and my mind immediately went into fight mode.

“You just got back and you’re leaving again for two weeks?” My voice loud and harsh.

My gut has been telling me this would happen. Andy warned me that this would happen, that she would find ways to escape and turn her attention to her other facility far away from Boston, far away from me. I do not give her any chance to speak, instead I ramble out every insecure thought I have.

“Is it because of the chair? I will use the stupid chair! Fuck, I will use the parallel bars too. I am a burden to you, aren’t I? You are finally tired of trying to fix me….”

She grabs my face with both of her hands and crashes her mouth onto mine, to shut me up.

I want to push her away so I can continue my ranting, but she presses her lips harder and I cave. Her mouth tastes like mint and our lips move together as she caresses her tongue with mine.

She pulls away but still holds my face in her hands, her smile is stretched ear to ear, and she lets out a tiny laugh.

“What are you laughing about?“, I growl.

“I said WE will have to stay there for two weeks! I want you to come with me Levi”, she says.

I remain still, staring at her with utter confusion. I feel like such a fool for getting upset with her. It is Jake who was right this time.

She notices my confused expression while I continue sitting here like a statue, so she proceeds to tell me that the facility in California does stem-cell therapy treatments. She thinks the treatment might help me gain more strength in my hips and left arm and leg if I want to go through with it.

She throws her arms around me and tightly embraces me. She nuzzles her face into my neck and asks, ” Levi, all those things you said… is that really how you think of me?”

“What? No, I shouldn’t have said any of that”, I finally speak.

She hugs me tighter and says,

“I don’t want you to ever feel like you are a burden to me because that is not what you are. And you are not broken Levi, there is nothing I need to fix, I am only trying to help you. You know that, right?”

Her words flood my soul with a sudden and striking realization that I have been blinded by hopelessness and that she is my fortitude.

38: A Perfect Date

Levi’s POV

I try my best to stay in a good mood the rest of the week. I feel like I am treading water, making sure I don’t say or do the wrong thing. I wish I could take back all those things I confessed to her, but I can’t, so instead I keep apologizing to her every chance I get.

Since Charlotte is the most understanding person that I know, she just repeatedly reminds me of how proud she is of me for telling her how I feel.

How can anyone be lucky enough to deserve someone like her, especially someone like me? I am grateful that I have Jake to talk to about everything with. He helps put things in perspective for me and tries to make me realize that I can be with her if I just let go of my fear. I need to stop being such a jerk all the time and start treating her the way she deserves to be treated.

Charlotte comes to get me from the gym after Nate finishes with my therapy. We walk together back to my room and she tells me that we need to pack since we are leaving tomorrow.

” I would like to take you out to dinner tonight … well you would be physically taking me out, but I would like for us to go on a date”, I beam at her.

My hands fidgeting, nervously waiting for her to answer me. I hope she says yes, I really need to show her that we can go out and do things like a normal couple, not just her taking care of me all the time.

She smiles at me with those captivating multi-colored eyes of hers and speaks in the most endearing tone, “I would love that”.

I open my arms to her and pull her into me. I kiss her sweet lips before she breaks away and starts walking me towards the bathroom.

“Take a shower while I pack your bag, then we will bring your stuff to my place so that I can take a shower before we go out”, she instructs.

I pause to look at her for a moment.

” We will stay at my place and get a ride to the airport from there tomorrow”, she explains.

” And please don’t be mad, but we need to take your wheelchair on the trip with us tomorrow, so we need to bring it with us tonight…. you don’t have to use it on our date though if you don’t want to”, she timidly states.

“No, it’s fine, I will take you out in my wheelchair tonight”, I say which completely surprises her.

She kisses me on my cheek and leaves me to shower.

I ask her if I can take my wheelchair up to her apartment when we get there. She gives me another surprised look, then smiles and agrees. I don’t want her to have to walk me around everywhere or worry about me being stuck sitting in one place while she gets ready. This is my chance to show her I can do things for her.

“Make yourself at home while I get ready”, she says to me, leaving me in the living room as she heads for the shower.

Usually, I’m stranded on the couch waiting for her to help me walk to a different room, but this time I am glad I took my chair, I move about freely and get a better look at her home. It’s simply decorated; I see she likes candles too. There is a small corner table in the living room with pictures of her family and a picture of her with two of her friends. Besides furniture, she really doesn’t have much else to clutter her place with. She probably feels she doesn’t need much because she spends all her time at the rehab center, which makes me a little sad for her. I hope I can be the one to make her happy outside of work.

“Ready?” I hear her voice.

I turn around to face her. She is wearing dark tight-fitting jeans that hug her curves and a pale blue blouse. Her long wavy dirty blonde hair hanging down over her shoulders.

“You look beautiful!“, I tell her.

“I’m only in jeans and a shirt”, she smirks.

“I know, but you are still beautiful”, I reassure her.

She grabs my hand and leads me outside.

“Burr, it’s cold”, she says and rubs her arms.

“Do you want my jacket?” I offer her.

“No, it’s fine, the restaurant is just around the block”, she says and then grabs my hand again.

I roll along beside her, grabbing her hand tighter as she shivers. Why didn’t she take her jacket? I should have reminded her.

We quickly arrive at a small Italian place hidden between two large brick buildings. Inside is warm, only a few small tables with burgundy tablecloths. Murals of Little Italy across the walls. I like it, it’s quaint.

“Do you want to stay in your wheelchair or sit in a regular seat at the table?“, she looks down and asks me.

Not sure what I should do, I am trying not to make her do any work for me, but I would really like to sit in a regular seat.

“Could you walk with me to a regular seat?” I ask her with a shaky voice.

“Of course!” She smiles, then unexpectedly leans down, and kisses my lips before helping me to stand.

Our arms wrap around each other’s side, and I pull her closer into me so I can kiss her cheek.

We sit at a small table in the corner. There are only two other couples here which makes me feel more comfortable.

Dinner was excellent and we talked the entire time. We mostly talked about her though, which was my intent. There was a lot about her I didn’t know. I learned that she played sports in college, her friend Jen taught her how to drive a stick in a cemetery when she was fourteen, she is afraid of swimming in the ocean, and she has never had a best friend because she likes being friends with everyone…. I can totally picture that. I got a buzz off watching her face light up as she spoke about every fond memory she has. Getting to know more of her tonight made me realize how self-absorbed I have been.

When we talked about me, I made sure it had nothing to do with my accident or disability. I told her about all the trouble my friends and I got into when we were kids, told her how I grew up hanging around with my cousins since I was an only child, and how I first got into acting.

We laughed and joked around with each other while we ate our food. For a moment we were a normal couple enjoying a normal date.

When it was time to leave, I gave her my jacket, insisting she wear it on our walk back.

We hung out the rest of the night on her couch, watching comedies, eating popcorn, and laughing some more. I am addicted to hearing her laugh now. She has been happy and carefree all night. I love this side of her! I love every side of her, but this one reminds me how absolutely perfect she really is and how lucky I am that she wants me here with her. This has been a perfect date.

I use my chair to get to the bathroom and get ready for bed. My mouth almost drops to the floor when I wheel into the bedroom and see her standing there wearing only a long grey t-shirt.

My heart starts racing as I quickly get myself to sit on the edge of the bed. Charlotte doesn’t hesitate and climbs on top of me, her knees on the bed, her thighs straddling mine. I grab her hips, holding her close to me and she combs her fingers through my hair. I can feel the heat from her body and see the fire in her eyes. Her touch sends a quivering sensation throughout my body.

I cannot hold it in any longer. I need her. I want her… all of her. I want her laughing, her crying, her smiles, her caring, her stubbornness, the way she believes in me… all of it!

I take hold of her face with my hands and kiss her soft lips with fervency. She digs her fingers into my back and I almost lose control. A magnetic force keeps our lips moving together. I never want to let her go.

” I love you Charlotte”, I profess, in between breaths as I continue to capture her lips.

“I love you Levi”, she whispers back.

We lay back on the bed, our bodies entwined by lust and she gives herself to me. Our passion is strong, and it feels like we are making love for the first time.

39: If There’s A Chance

Levi’s POV

I woke the next morning, Charlotte’s head burrowed into my chest. She looks so beautiful even in her sleep. I lightly kiss the top of her head and whisper “I love you”.

Now that I have confessed my love for her, I can’t stop saying those three words to her every chance I get. There is no going back. She is mine and I am hers and I know I must do whatever it takes to walk again, to be the man she needs, to make her happy always.

“Good morning!” She looks up at me smiling.

“Good Morning, Love” I kiss her lips this time.

“Are you ready for today?” she asks, looking slightly worried for me.

Honestly, I am not sure I’m ready for this trip to California. I have come to despise the process of getting onto a plane. I am excited and apprehensive about the stem-cell procedure. There is nothing I want more than to get back the strength I need in my hips and left side, but there’s also the chance this treatment may not work and that is the part that really scares me. I know Charlotte is worried about that too, she knows how badly I want this, and knowing her; the most conscientious person I know, will feel like she has let me down if this doesn’t work. I will not let her feel that way, I promise myself this. Whatever happens, I need to remind her that she is doing everything she can to help me.

“Levi!”, she snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, yes I’m ready for today”, I smile.

We get to the airport and I numbly undergo the same degrading security procedure. Charlotte is patiently waiting for me nearby looking at me with her beautiful doting eyes, so I keep my gaze fixed on her while security invades my space.

She holds her hand out for me after and I happily grab it, our fingers intertwined as we make our way to our gate.

“I’m sorry you have to go through that every time”, she says to me.

“I’m getting used to it”, I try to convince her.

We check in my chair and walk together onto the plane and get into our seats without any problems. Halfway into our flight Charlotte notices that I am bouncing my leg up and down out of nervousness and I accidently squeeze her hand tight enough to cause her concern. I can’t hold it in any longer and the thought of what comes next vexes me.

“Levi, what’s wrong?”

“I have to piss”, I huff.

I hear her breathe in deep and let out a sigh. She is dredging this as much as I am, but she does her best not to show it for my sake.

“Okay, let’s go then”, she says in the most confident manner.

“How are we going to do this?” Panic clear in my voice.

“The bathroom is three feet away, we can do this, I will just squeeze into there with you”, she half laughs.

“This isn’t funny, everyone will be staring at us”, I remind her.

“What? Don’t tell me you haven’t made any movies where you meet a nice girl on an airplane and have sex with her in the tiny bathroom”, she laughs again.

“Um, no I haven’t”, laughing with her this time.

She helps me stand and locks my left leg brace while I hold on to the back of my seat. There isn’t any room in the aisle for us to walk side by side, so she stands behind me, her body close to mine and holds my hips steady as we take a few steps to the bathroom. We get inside the cramped space and she shuts the door.

“This is humiliating you know”, I mutter.

“Well, I can always start moaning loudly then let everyone know that we just had the most amazing sex when they stare at us walking back to our seats”, she giggles.

“Charlotte!”

“I’m kidding Levi, but I am sure the onlookers will be the ones humiliated If I blurted that out, not us”.

“You’re killing me Charlie! I’m done, let’s get back to our seats”, I smirk.

We sit back in our seats and decide to watch a movie. I can see her peering at me every so often and gripping my hand a little firmer.

“I can feel you looking at me”, I smile.

“Your handsome face makes it hard not to…I love you”, she utters.

Her eyes look as if they are peering right through my soul. Her touch and the way she tells me she loves me, causes that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I gape at her as if she weren’t real. The butterfly feeling turns into fear and trepidation with just the thought of what will happen if this treatment doesn’t work.

“Charlotte, will you still love me if it doesn’t work? If I never get my strength back or ever walk again”, my voice trembling when I ask her.

She grabs hold of the front of my shirt and pulls me towards her and kisses my lips, slowly and passionately. She runs her fingers through the back of my hair before grasping onto the strands and leaning our foreheads together. She releases her lips from mine and says, “No matter what happens, I will always love you, I am not going anywhere”.

“Good”, I smirk.

Somehow, we finagle our luggage and my wheelchair into an Uber and head over to her new rehab facility. The building is more expansive than the one in Boston. She says it holds double the patients and offers more invasive treatments right on site, so no one needs to have anything done at the hospital. I can have the stem-cell injections done here along with my therapy afterwards.

She brings me to meet Dr. Lee, who will be performing my procedures. We watch a small presentation on stem-cells and how they work with the body. I will be having four procedures, two this week and two next week where they will inject the cells directly into my spinal canal. After each injection, I will undergo extensive physical therapy. Dr. Lee goes on to say that there are risks with every procedure, I could get an infection, or my body may reject the cells. And there is always the grim realization of the 50/50 chance it may or may not work. He gives me hope though and tells me that there has been a lot of success with other patients and he is confident that I will also have some success.

Charlotte shows me to my room then tells me to feel free to tour around place while she gets some work done in her office.

“Can I see your office?”, I ask her.

I don’t want to be alone in this strange place, the size of this building is intimidating, and she is the only person I know here.

“Of course! You can come, as long as you do not mind hanging out while I do boring paperwork”, she says.

“You don’t have to worry about me as long as I’m with you”, I attest.

“Great, and afterwards I can give you a tour and we can grab something to eat. Your first procedure is at eight tonight”, she reminds me.

Even with the six-hour flight, it is still early in the day here because of the time difference. Charlotte had enough time to get some work done and bring me around the facility.

“So, this is where you run off to every time you leave me alone in Boston, huh?” I josh.

“Yup, this is the place”.

“This place is amazing! You are amazing”, I praise her which causes her to smile ear to ear.

The cafeteria is massive, and it offers every kind of food imaginable. She reminds me to pick something light to eat because of my upcoming procedure. She watches me with concern as I pick at my food, but she doesn’t say anything. My nerves are getting to me and I don’t have much of an appetite.

“How about I help you get into the shower? The hot water will feel good after our long flight and will help ease some of your stress”, she suggests.

“How about you take a shower with me? That will surely relieve my stress”, I tease.

“Don’t tempt me Levi”.

We hurry back to my room and she runs the water until it turns hot, then helps me get undressed and onto the shower chair.

“Are you all set?”, she asks me.

But I don’t respond, instead I quickly grab her arm before she walks away and pull her into the shower with me. Her clothes are still on and she lets out a yelp when the water touches her.

“Levi, what are you doing”, she shrieks with excitement.

I still don’t answer, I just start taking off her clothes and throwing them onto the shower floor. Her flawless naked body standing in front of me while the hot water pours over her. All worry flushed away from my mind at this moment and I reach around her waist and pull her onto straddle my lap. Her skin feels so soft against mine. I grab some soap and start massaging her back while she runs her fingers through and tugs at my hair. My body aches for her touch, her sublime lips softly caressing mine as she takes me into herself.

“I love you so much”, I moan as I release all of myself to her.

Our perfect moment comes to an end and she helps me get into some boxers and a hospital gown for the procedure. I walk with her so that we are both sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for the doctor to come and take me away. She starts gently rubbing her soft hand up and down my back in a comforting gesture, then looks at me and asks, “How are you feeling about all this?”

“I am eager and scared at the same time”, I admit.

“Yes, I am too. I am also extremely proud of you for going through with this”, she says.

“I would not be able to do this without you”, I say to her just as the doctor enters my room.

Charlotte helps me into my wheelchair then gives me one last kiss before she whispers into my ear, “I love you, and I will be right here waiting for you when you get back”.

“I love you too Charlotte.”

She gives my hand a squeeze and I bring her hand up to my lips to kiss the back of her palm.

“See you shortly”, I smile while Dr. Lee takes me away.

40: A Long Week

Charlotte’s POV

I sat in the recliner next to Levi’s bed while I held his hand and read a book, waiting for him to fully wake from the anesthesia. He woke briefly after the procedure was over, but he was groggy, so I told him to sleep it off. Dr. Lee told me the procedure went well and Levi should start physical therapy in the morning.

He slept for another three hours. It was half past one in the morning when he finally squeezed my hand and looked over at me. I had dozed off, so when he grabbed my hand, it startled me, and my book went flying off my lap.

“Sorry I woke you”, he mumbled.

“It’s ok, how are you feeling?” I ask him.

“Tired. Thirsty. Hot”, he sighs.

I lean over and plant a kiss on his lips. His lips feel much warmer than usual, so I kiss his forehead too. He is extremely warm.

“I am going to get you some ice water, I will be right back”, I quickly spout.

Moments later I return with water and a thermometer.

“What is that for?”, he asks, pointing to the thermometer.

“You feel warm, I just want to check your temperature”.

I scan the thermometer over his forehead and sure enough, it reads 103.2 degrees.

“Crap!”, I unintentionally blurt out.

“What is it?”, he looks at me with concern.

I kiss him again then head out of the room to call and inform Dr. Lee.

“Where did you go? Don’t just leave me like that with no explanation!”, Levi vents out with an angry voice when I return.

I give him a couple Tylenols to take then start rambling off.

“I’m sorry I walked out of the room like that! I just got nervous when I saw your high temp and went to call Dr. Lee. I know that getting a fever or infection is a possible side effect, but seeing it happen to you just caused me to panic…I don’t want anything bad to happen to you”.

He starts to struggle, trying to move his body closer to the side of the bed. My body feels tenuous and shaky because of the anxiety taking over me. I hate seeing him struggle and now he is sick with a fever.

“I’m having a hard time moving, please come lay with me”, he softly says while patting the mattress.

I climb in to lay next to him, rest my head in the crook of his arm and place my hand on his chest.

“No more panicking and no more running off, I will be fine”, he whispers before leaning over to kiss my head.

I do not try to carry on any type of conversation, I just let him sleep and pray that the fever will be gone by the time the sun rises.

I did not get any sleep at all. I was so worried that I checked his temperature without waking him every half hour. The Tylenol helped some, only bringing his temp down to 101 degrees by the time he woke up.

I was already up, showered, and changed when Levi opened his eyes searching for me.

“Morning! I am right here”, I lean over the bed and run my fingers through his messy hair causing him to smile.

“Here, please take these meds, you still have a fever”, I tell him.

“We need to get you up for breakfast then to therapy”, I inform him.

Again, he struggles to move. He can barely get himself to sit up, and when he finally does, I rush over to catch him from falling over.

I sit next to him on the edge of the bed with my arm around the back of his waist waiting for him to secure his balance.

“Will you be ok if I let go to put your leg brace on?”

“Yes, I think so”, he says.

I quickly attach his brace and sit back down next to him. He puts his left arm around my shoulder, and I hold around his back so we can stand together. As soon as I help him up off the bed, his right leg gives out and I swiftly sit him back down.

He puts his head down in defeat, not sure what to say or do at this point.

I press his body against mine to gesture that I am here for him.

“Levi, describe to me what your body feels like?”

He keeps his head down and speaks so low I can hardly hear him say, ” I don’t know, my whole body just feels weak”.

“Can I help you into your wheelchair? Maybe getting some food into you will help?” I ask him, but he just nods.

I push him down to the cafeteria. I know he doesn’t feel well or much like eating, so I get him a hot tea and some toast and fruit. He eats as much as he can before we head to the gym.

Even his arms are too weak to be able to do anything that requires using any of his weight and getting out of and back into his chair again takes too much out of him. I know he is discouraged, and I try to remind him that his body is just reacting to the stem-cells and it is going to take a little longer to adjust.

He is so quiet and keeps his focus down towards the floor while I massage and manipulate his limbs.

Without hurrying I move my body to stand in front of him and reach down to hold his face in my hands. His skin is hot to the touch, his eyes full of anguish when he looks at me that I instinctively kiss his warm lips, then peer into his eyes while giving him an encouraging smile.

” I love you so much, and I know how hard you are trying right now, but you need to rest today so your fever will subside…. tomorrow we can try again”, I express to him.

He agrees to let me help him back to his room and help him take a shower before getting into bed.

It is only noon time, but he is exhausted, and his temp is holding steady at 101.1 degrees. I sit up next to him in his bed and flick through the channels until we find something interesting to watch on TV. Neither of us can seem to find a good program and all I can focus on is him and how to get his fever down.

” I am going to get you some lunch and more Tylenol”, I tell him before placing my lips on to his then walking out the door.

I don’t want to leave him for even a second, yet a small amount of relief comes over me when I leave his room. Is this what love is supposed to feel like? This lightheaded, shaky, and worrisome feeling consuming my whole being. I am not sure if all these intense emotions from being in love are a blessing or a curse.

Levi takes the meds I bring him and eats half of his soup and sandwich.

“Why don’t you take a nap, maybe a good rest will help you feel better”, I suggest to him.

“What are you going to do?” he asks, clearly worried about me.

“I have some paperwork to catch up on in my office”, I tell him.

He averts his eyes from me, and I know it is because he does not want me to leave.

“I can grab my papers and laptop and do my work in here while you sleep?”

He instantly smiles at me, and his voice perks up.

” Really? I mean if you don’t mind, I would like that”, he beams.

I rush to and back from my office with all the work I need to finish. His eyes are closed, so I give him a gentle peck on his cheek and whisper into his ear that I am here so he can sleep.

Again, he ate little of his dinner in the evening and went back to sleep for the night. I was so tired from my lack of sleep, that I had no trouble resting in the recliner, only waking up periodically to check his temp.

Morning arrives and Levi’s temp has thankfully returned to normal.

“Good morning beautiful”, he pipes up. “I am feeling much better”, he smiles.

A rush of calm floods my veins and I exhale loudly, “Thank goodness!”

He was able to eat all his meals and participate in most of his therapy today. His body was still weak, but not nearly as weak as yesterday. He was strong enough to make it through every therapy session with each passing day and he was happy, which made me happy. There was no visible improvement in his left side yet, but that was expected after only one injection.

His next injection procedure is scheduled for tomorrow morning. With the reaction his body had to the first injection, Dr. Lee and I were hesitant to let him continue the treatments, but Levi insisted on going through with them no matter what.

“I am a little scared of what will happen after your injection tomorrow”, I confess to him while we are lying in his bed together.

“I survived the last one and I will survive this one too”, he affirms. “Now stop worrying about me so much, I know you haven’t slept all week!“, he points out.

” I can’t help it”, I convey.

“I know, if this was happening to you, I would not be able to stop worrying about you either”, he softly says as he kisses me.

” Have I told you how proud I am of you”, I proclaim.

“All the time!“, he kisses me again then wraps his arms around me so we can fall asleep.