Chapter 21

A couple of days flew by. Surprisingly, my parents or brother didn’t say much to me when I returned from a night away but I can feel something will go wrong in the near future. Call it a gut feeling. My mother is not one to be quiet for so long. She will soon address my stubborn ways.

Another week left till the wedding and I couldn’t wait to get it done and over with. Will returning home change how Axel and I are right now? I am not sure.

It was about noon and Axel had picked me up some delicious dessert from a bakery shop nearby. I licked my fingers clean when I finished my second piece. Do I feel guilty? I couldn’t stop the smirk from appearing on my face. I do not feel guilty at all. I love sweets and Axel knew all about it. That’s why he always makes me churros.

I flipped through the channels, completely content to hole away in my room until the wedding when the door opened and Axel walked in. Sweat drenching his dark red sleeveless top. His hair damps from a good work out.

He flopped onto the bed and grabbed a piece of my delicious dessert. I slapped his hands but he is a lot faster than me. In case anyone is interested, we haven’t done it like rabbits since returning. Instead, we returned back to normal. Him not keeping his hands off me and me biting his hands each time he teases me-just like right now.

“Axel! That’s my last one!” I grumbled.

He picked up the empty boxes but continued eating the piece of dessert like it was meant to be his.

“I bought you six.” He pointed out.

“Are you calling me fat?” Not coming off as offended but pretending to be. “Because if you are, then I am.”

He scoffed, “You are not fat.”

I rolled my eyes, “Seriously, give me back my dessert.”

“Want it?” He waved it in front of me.

“Yes!” I snapped back, shoving his shoulder. He laughed as he fell back onto the bed. He took a bite out of the dessert.

“Give it back.” I launched myself at him.

He rolled onto his stomach and I straddled his back. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulder. The other hand I made an attempt to reach for the dessert that he just so put it out of reach with his free hand stretched above his head.

“Axel!”

He laughed harder.

“I’m going to suffocate you. You will be sat on until you give it up.” I threatened.

“That sounds like fun. C’mon, Hermosa, sit on my face.” He teased.

Heat crawled on my face and I shoved him away from me. He was crying at this point, laughing so hard at his teasing. I crossed my arms underneath his t-shirt and glared at him from a sitting position.

“That’s not what I mean,” I grumbled quietly, still feeling extremely flushed from his comment.

He was still chuckling when he crawled up to me. His face mere inches from me. He lifted the half eaten dessert into the air, tempting me once again.

“You know, it’s not a good thing to taunt a woman with her favorite foods. She could become dangerous.” I glared.

“Dangerous? I like Dangerous Ryleigh. I wonder how good she will be in bed.” He whispered huskily.

I am at a loss for words and so I resorted into scoffing and snatching the dessert away from him. His lips captured mine as second later. I inhaled sharply in surprise when I felt him suck on my lower lip, asking for entrance. I moaned and he pressed me farther onto the bed. His body now covering mine.

My brain cells scattered and all I could think about was how good he felt on top of me. I didn’t realize that he had taken a hold of my dessert and placed it back into the box. I couldn’t stop it. My body was hungry for something entirely different. It was hungry for Axel.

One hand dipped underneath the hem of my shirt. I felt his fingers caress my hips before slipping underneath to cup my breasts. He groaned when he saw that I wasn’t wearing any bras.

“Fuck, Ryleigh.” He hissed.

“I don’t like wearing bras. They are too uncomfortable.” Especially when you are a big size girl with a decent amount of boobs-maybe even too much. I also don’t like to wear pants, they were too tight around the waistband. So here I was braless and pant-less dressed only in a loose t-shirt and panties.

He didn’t seem to mind. He pulled my shirt up and latched onto my nipple like he had every right to it. Marking and suckling it like it will cure his thirst. My hands tangled in his damp dark hair. He released the nipple and moved onto its twin, giving it the same amount of attention.

“I don’t like it either. From now on, no bra or pants. Hell, no panties even.” He murmured huskily.

I let out a short laugh before he continued his heated sucking on my body.

I arched my and squirmed underneath him. My legs falling open for him to settle comfortably between them. After he paid it the same amount of intoxicating attention, he moved up and kissed me roughly. His hard bulge pressed against my core. I wiggled my hips and moaned in pure pleasure.

I tore my lips aside and sucked on his neck just below his chin. He tasted salty from his workout but his sweat served almost like an aphrodisiac. It drove me wild and I couldn’t stop sucking on his neck like a vampire.

“Ryleigh…” His voice came out hoarse and throaty. I skimmed my hands underneath his sleeveless top and touch his rock hard abs. I felt his muscles tightened upon contact. I marveled at such godly features. I couldn’t stop touching him. Axel has a sexy body.

My fingernails lightly scored his upper chest and he took full control then. He ground his erection hard on my core and I moaned, releasing his neck. He pulled back and pulled off his shirt and disposing his shorts and briefs before glancing down at my lace panties. I shimmied out of them.

My eyes roamed his chest and I found myself growing hotter-needier. I love everything about him and couldn’t wait for it be pressed up against me. I couldn’t wait to feel skin on skin.

Our breathing and lust were in sync. I ached to feel him again and he couldn’t wait to fill me to the hilt. He leaned over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom. Ripping it quickly between his teeth before slipping the condom on. One finger playing with my wet slits before dipping inside as he pulled the condom on with one hand.

He wrapped one hand around the base of his cock and then replaced his fingers that were hot on my core with his cock. He slid the tip up and down my slits in a slow tantalizing manner that had me arching my back for more friction. When I didn’t get it, I moaned and raised up my hips for more. He listened this time and he thrust deep inside me. My eyes literally rolled back in ecstasy. My lips parting in relief and happiness now that I had him fully embedded inside me. My walls clenched around him welcoming him back.

This was not like our first time. It was all pleasure no pain and I couldn’t stop meeting him on each thrust. My hands clung to his back. His hands were above me, grasping onto the bed rail above us as he fucked me hard and roughly. His cock filling me and hitting me deeply that had my eyes rolling back.

“Fuck, Ryleigh.” When he felt me clench around his cock. His hands dropped from the bed rail to grasp onto the pillow underneath me. His hands curling the pillow tightly as he increased his pace. The bed shook. Our moans were getting louder. I felt the coil inside me tightening with each thrust. My boobs were bouncing with each pummel of his cock. Sweat beaded his forehead. His eyes were dark with lust.

Just when the coil inside me was about to snap, he pulled out completely. Flipped us over and I was now straddling him.

“This is what I imagined.” He said hoarsely. His voice thick with need and desire.

I swallowed hard when I recalled him telling me how many nights he had dreamt of me riding his cock while I slept like a baby down the hall from him. Slowly, I began to rock on his cock. Pulling him out and in at a tantalizing speed. He groaned and his eyes rolled back. His fingers gripping my hips, digging deep. I propped my hands on his chest and began bouncing slightly.

“Ah, fuck.” He hissed.

A small gasped escaped me at the new sensation. It made me feel powerful. In control. The speed was slow, almost torturous but it was so good. I could feel him filling me slowly with growing desire.

“Faster, baby.” He groaned. “I need you to go faster.”

I can see how hard he was fighting his control. I increased my speed, bouncing on his cock like he was my very own trampoline. He moaned in pleasure and relief. His eyes opening up to look at me.

“Fuck, I love it when your tits bounce like that. You are fucking beautiful. Sexy as fuck.” He bit his lips.

Those words were hot and such a turn on. I found myself fucking and riding his cock faster. My ass bouncing as I controlled both our incoming release.

He made a guttural sound deep in his throat, his teeth biting his bottom lips hard as he can. The coil tightened and tightened.

“Axel,” I gasped.

His thumb touched my clit then, rubbing and pinching it hard. The coil snapped and I shattered above him, riding his cock and clenching around him like a greedy girl. He hissed and wrapped an arm around my waist, pinning my body to his as he took control. His thrust was hard and rough. Grunts and guttural sound escaping his lips as he released inside of me into the condom.

When we both came down from the high, my boobs were in his face. He latched onto one of them and sucked.

“Axel,” I breathed and got off his body.

He chuckled and moved to give me a quick rough heated kiss before jumping out of bed to dispose of the condom. A second later, I heard the shower run. My body was completely satisfied with hunger. The dessert totally was forgotten. I fell into a sated sleep.

Chapter 22

When my gut told me that something was going to happen, I should have listened and just sit my ass in the hotel room—hibernate until the storm was over. Yet, I deliberately ignored my gut feeling and went out of the room.

My mother had ordered me to sit in and enjoy a family night. Everyone was here in the mini bar of the venue drinking away. Axel got pulled away from my brother and dad once again to go drinking. They are growing fond of him. I am once again left alone sitting in a circle of women.

Everyone seemed to have fun conversing back and forth. I seem to be the one left out of the conversation. Always the odd ball. I sighed and leaned back in the plush sofa semi-circle sofa. My mother was on the other side talking to Aunt Vee. By the way she was pointing at her face and picking up her phone to show Aunt Vee, I’m pretty sure they were talking about some glamour crap.

It’s been a couple of days and the wedding is fast approaching. There will be one final dinner before the wedding. I couldn’t wait to go back home.

A hushed sound spread throughout the group I was in. My eyes found their way back to the rounds of beautiful girls in front of me. They were all looking a certain way. My eyes followed their line of sight until I saw Axel talking to Christina again. My gut churned with jealousy.

“God, I think she is going to do it.” One of the ladies giggled.

“He’s so fucking hot.” One slurred.

“Do you think he will go for it?”

“Of course! Have you seen Christina? She’s hot. No man can resist her.”

My jaw clenched. Don’t they know that he is mine? I squashed that thought the second it came rolling to the front of my mind. I don’t know if he was but a small part of me hope that he is. That this was more than just a fling.

“Oh my god!” One squealed and everyone started hopping out of their seat.

My eyes found their way back to Axel and Christina. Axel was getting up from his seat and following Christina out of the room. My heart twisted in my chest. Christina had her hand intertwined through Axel as she led him out. She turned back to us and her eyes found me. She smirked.

It was like a knife to the heart. A voice in my head screamed at me. Told me I should have listened. I shouldn’t have given Axel what he wanted. He didn’t love me. He didn’t care about me. I was too easy.

My mother’s words followed soon after. Telling me I’m too fat. I should have started her exercise program. Suddenly, the sweet wine in my mouth turned bitter and I clenched the damn wine glass in my hands tighter.

Everything around me was spinning. My heart was bleeding. All my insecurities came bursting to the surface. My eyes went back to the exit of the room and they were long gone.

It can’t be. Axel wouldn’t do this. I needed to hold onto this last hope.

I stood up and followed them. Emery stepped out and stopped me.

“Where do you think you are going?” She accused.

“I just have to check on Axel.” I told her.

She scoffed, “You haven’t paid one attention to my wedding. If you are going to be like this then why bother even coming?”

I pushed her aside before walking towards the exit. Once I was out, I glanced around the lobby. Christina had Axel pushed up against a wall. Her arms around him. Her face was clearly all up in his.

I dropped the wine glass and it shattered on the marble flooring. Servers came running to help me out. A few asked me if I was okay but all I could see was Christina and Axel. It broke whatever they were doing because Christina pulled back and Axel saw me. His eyes widening when he realized I saw everything.

I made a dash for it.

I ran up the steps towards the hotel room.

“Ryleigh!” He shouted and ran after me.

I couldn’t. Him calling me was like me listening to nails on a chalkboard. It was killing me inside. I made it to the top step. He was halfway up the stairs.

“Ryleigh! Stop!” He shouted.

“Fuck you, Axel!” I shouted as I ran for the room. I opened it quickly with my key as he rounded the corner. I slammed it shut and locked it even though I knew he had the key but it was one more barrier between him and me. I ran into the bathroom and slammed it closed just the second he opened the door with his key.

“Ryleigh! Open up!” His fist slammed against the door.

“Leave me the fuck alone!” I screamed, covering my ears.

“I swear to god, if you don’t open this fucking door I’m going to break it down.” He threatened, his voice shaking.

“Just leave me alone! Leave me alone! I don’t want to hear your fucking lies.” I growled angrily, slamming my fist onto the counter. I began pacing the bathroom floor.

“I’m going to break this door down.” He finalized.

I glanced at it and waited.

A second later, the door threatened to break under his weight.

What the hell? The asshole was for real.

“Stop!” I shouted.

“Open this door!” He growled.

I opened the door and glared at him, “What the hell do you want?”

“It wasn’t what you think…” He started.

“Oh please, save me your lies. I know how you are, Axel. I should have known. We have been friends for so long. I should have known that once you got what you wanted, you would do the same thing to me. You played me well and I didn’t even know it. I fell for it just like every other girl.” I pushed him hard in the chest. He stumbled back into the wall.

“Damn it, Ryleigh, listen to me.” He grabbed my arms as I walked past him into the bedroom. Spinning me around he gripped my arms to hold me in place.

“I know what you are going to tell me. That it wasn’t what it looked like. She wasn’t sucking your face off and you two were just talking. I saw how close you two were and it sure as hell looked like you weren’t pushing her away. You’re a fucking asshole, Axel.” My hurt turning into anger. I pounded his chest over and over.

“It isn’t what you think it was. She came on to me, yes, but I didn’t accept her advances. You came in just when she did it. I didn’t even know she will do it. I was buzzing already from the shots your dad and brother gave me. It took me a minute to get over the shock.” He tried explaining but I was too angry. Too far gone.

How can I believe him? He’s always been a player. He came over nights and tells me stories about girls he dropped like they were candies he was picking out. I’ve seen girls crying.

“You think I’ll believe you? I know your M.O., Axel. You fuck with their heads until they can’t think. Then you throw them out like they are nothing.” I pushed him harder. “Get the hell out! I don’t want to see you right now.”

“No you will listen to me!” He shook me hard.

I glared at him and shoved him again, “Let me go!”

“I don’t know why you can’t see what I see? Is it really that hard, Ryleigh? To see that you aren’t what they see you as. You are fucking beautiful and I’m not fucking lying. You’re so fucking insecure that you can’t even think for one second that maybe—maybe that you are amazing just the way you are. That you don’t need to be skinny to be fucking beautiful?” Axel was angry now. His fingers digging into my arms as he held on tight.

“You are so fucking insecure that you can’t see pass what you picture me as. You have me in this fucking picture in your head. It’s your safe bubble. You rather look at me that way than see me in any other way. You are so fucking insecure. I’m tired of trying to prove-”

I slapped him. Hard.

“Get out.” I didn’t want to hear anything else. I couldn’t. It hurt too damn much.

Axel’s face was red with my hand print. He looked broken like I had yanked his heart out of his chest. A part of me whimpered and wanted to take it all back but I couldn’t. The wound…the image…the words were so fresh and raw. It hurt to even look at him.

“Fuck this.” He grabbed his clothes and started shoving them into his luggage.

“What are you doing?” Tears running down my cheeks. I looked at him.

“I’m done with this.” He muttered.

“Axel…” I started.

“No, I’m done, Ryleigh. I’m done trying to show you that you are better than what everyone wants to make you see yourself as. I am done trying to show you that I am not that person you see me as.” He shoved the last of his clothes into his luggage and started for the door. I grabbed onto his wrist.

“Axel, you said we will still be friends.”

There was a long pause, but he won’t even look at me. His back was stiff, and I felt him pulling away. My heart was breaking into a million pieces. I am grabbing at what I had left.

“Axel-”

“I can’t. I can’t be your friend.” He said quietly before walking out the door.

He slammed it shut behind him and I fell to the floor. I should have listen to my gut feeling. I knew that something was going to go wrong. I knew that this will not last. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart. The sob that left my body hit me like waves.

A small part of me, hoped that he will call me back. That this isn’t the end. That he will come back because this was Axel but as minutes turns into hours. I knew that Axel wasn’t coming back that I pushed him away.

Axel was gone.

Chapter 23

He didn’t come back. He was gone.

His words replaying repeatedly in my head. I holed myself up in the room refusing to come out. Brandon has knocked every hour since morning but nothing around me mattered.

“Ryleigh, you really need to open this door,” Brandon said for the ninth time.

I hugged my body closer as if it will protect me from the pain that was radiating throughout my body. I missed him. I missed him so much it hurts. I miss falling asleep next to him. My eyes landed on George and Raina and the lump in my throat grew.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I remembered the day he got Raina for me. The look on his face. It was too much. My vision blurred.

“Ryleigh, please, open the door.” Brandon pleaded.

“Leave me alone.”

“The dinner is starting in an hour. You need to get ready and be down there.”

“I don’t want to.” I cried.

“Ryleigh, mom will come up here. Do you want it to be her or me?” He asked.

I know my mother. She will force her way in. She’ll call security. She’ll break through those doors faster than I can blink.

Sniffling, I stood up and wiped my tears, but they just keep running. I walked to the front door and pressed my forehead against it.

“Can’t you tell her I am sick?” I told him.

“I think everybody knows that it is not true. They heard you guys last night in the lobby.” Brandon replied.

I feel empty. I remember the look in Axel’s eyes. He was hurt. I hurt him. I was the one who inflicted pain when all he was trying to do was make me understand.

“Ryleigh…” Brandon started again.

“I’ll be down. Just leave me alone for now.” I said quietly.

There was silence and a few minutes later his footsteps leading away from the door. I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked to the bathroom. I washed my face but saw how swollen my eyes were. I didn’t get any sleep at all last night after Axel left.

I took a quick shower, dried my hair, and slipped on Axel’s t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I tied my hair up into a bun and sullenly walked down to the conference room where everybody was.

The second my mother saw me, her eyes narrowed, and her lips pursed. She made her way towards me.

“What the hell are you wearing?” She glared at me.

“I don’t have time for this.” I shrugged her off and headed for the table. She grabbed my elbow and brought me back to look at her.

“Ryleigh, this is a dinner before the wedding. You should dress-”

“You know what, mom? I don’t give a shit. I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. I don’t fucking care if I am wearing sweats and a t-shirt. ” I glared back at her, pinning her with my eyes.

She recoiled as if I slapped her. The look of shock apparent on her face.

“Do not take that tone with me, young lady-”

I rolled my eyes, “All my fucking life, I’ve tried to be the daughter you always wanted but all I get from you is ‘you’re too fat’ and ‘you need to lose the weight’. I’m sick of it. This is me! This is what I am.” I said louder.

The voices in the room died down. Everyone stopped to stare at us. My mother shifted uneasily from foot to foot.

“We will finish this after dinner.”

I shook my head, “No, we will finish this now. I’m done, mom. I’m done trying to be the perfect daughter.”

Tears running down my cheeks and I wiped at them furiously. Angry at myself from showing them a sign of vulnerability but also strangely relieved. I am exhausted mentally and physically. I feel like everyone had beat me down internally and there are no bruises to show. No one sees what their words do to me. Everyone attacks my image and I let them.

“Ryleigh-“Brandon started.

“Stop!” I screamed at him. My eyes also pinned on him. He clamped his mouth shut.

“I’m sick of everyone. I’m sick of all your fucking words. I’m sick of the way you all treat me. I don’t deserve this! I am human just like all of you! I am not an animal. I don’t live in a cage where you can ridicule every day! I have feelings! I get hurt!” I growled, fisting my hands at my sides. I glared at everyone that was before me.

“Ryleigh, stop.” My mother tried interrupting.

“I want you to love me for who I am.” I cried harder. “But all you do is hurt me. I am your daughter. You should love me. You should encourage me. You should not be one of them. You shouldn’t beat me down. You shouldn’t kill me slowly. Your words mean more than theirs, yet you are the one that hurt me the most.”

My mother looked like I slapped her in the face. Guilt flashed in her eyes.

It seems like my whole life was crumbling down. I was falling apart but this is the truth. This was everything I have been holding back for years. This was what was killing me.

“Ryleigh, this is my wedding. Can we do-”

“Shut up!” I snapped, glaring at Emery. “I’m repeatedly reminded that this is your wedding.”

I laughed, it was fake but internally I was dying inside, “You think you have a degree and a rich husband and that means you are better than me, but you are what you are and that is a transparent and selfish bitch. All my life, I’ve competed against you even when I didn’t want to. I was forced to.”

Emery didn’t say anything. She only looked at me, but I was too far gone to embarrass. If I am going to let loose now, might as well say it all.

Distantly, I heard Christina laughing and rage boiled underneath my skin. I pinned her with my eyes and her eyes widening slightly. Everyone turned to face her.

“Axel is mine!” I took a step towards her. Brandon wrapped an arm around my waist to stop me from attacking the woman. The woman smirked, and I made another move to attack her.

“You bitch. He didn’t want you, yet you pushed your plastic body onto him.” I sneered and attempted to remove my brother’s hold.

“You make yourself all high and mighty talking shit about me, but your beauty is a cover up for what’s underneath! You are a spineless bitch!” I growled, letting all my frustration out through those two last words.

“Ryleigh!” My mother snapped. “You will return to your room!”

I clenched my jaw, pinning everyone with an angry glare before I retracted. Brandon slowly let me go. I turned around before I decided that I had one more thing to say.

I turned back to face what I thought was family.

“I’m leaving and I’m never looking back. If this is what family is, then I do not want a part of it. You are supposed to stand next to me. You are supposed to be what holds me strong when I am breaking apart but now I know you that I can’t rely on you. I know that I need to do this for myself.” Tears ran down my cheek.

“Ryleigh…” My brother said softly but I couldn’t. I couldn’t look at him.

I walked out of the room. Out of the people that I thought was my family. The people that should make me feel like a person, not a thing. The very people who beat me down every day.

When I got up to my room, I started packing. I wasn’t going to stay here another second. If I did, I’ll tear Christina’s fake wig off her head and possibly break a plastic nose or two. I shoved all my clothes into my luggage before my eyes landed on George and Raina. My broken heart seemed to be in endless pain.

I pulled them close and exited the room. Brandon was waiting for me in the lobby. A small smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t stay here.”

He smirked, “I know, and I understand. I am proud of you.”

I looked up at him, tears still in my eyes. He cupped my cheeks.

“You fought for yourself today. You didn’t let them tear you down. You fought back, Ryleigh. I have never been prouder.”

I cried and threw myself into his arms. He held me close.

“You are beautiful…inside and out. I have never thought otherwise. I am just happy that this time you fought back.” He whispered and placed a kiss on my head.

He was right. For me to be able to move on and be the person that I know I can be. I needed to fight for myself. I will never be perfect, I know that now. I am bruised and scarred but this is me. This is who I am. I was born to be this person and I’ll be damn if I let anyone tell me anything else.

“Let me take you back to the airport.” He offered, and I nodded.

It was a rough ride back home but when I finally made it. It was late, and I am exhausted from crying. My eyes were so swollen I can barely see. I sullenly made my way up the stairs to my apartment door. My eyes landing on Axel’s door.

It was closed. I wondered if he was in there. A part of me wanted to rush over and knock, demand that he opened up but I was ashamed of what I did to him back in Spain.

I opened my apartment door and entered. I took in the familiarity of my apartment and all I could see was what Axel and I did together in here. How he and I first met. Him airing out my apartment because I burned the food I was cooking. The way he cooked food for me. How he left me food every day. The nights we watched movies together.

I didn’t think I could cry anymore but the tears that were running down my cheeks were clear signs that I was wrong. It hurt so much.

Chapter 24

Days passed and I have settled into a routine of going back to work and coming home. Although I miss Axel with every fiber of my being I have learned to work on myself first. Although I wake up every night crying I have learned that in order for me to be able to fix what I have done I had to fix me.

Axel was right. I only saw what I wanted to see in him. In order to protect myself, I used it as a reason to push him away. Yes, he played but we were never together then. There was no reason for him to remain faithful.

He talked about the other girls but never did he treat me like one of them. When I needed him, he was there. There are numerous occasions that I can name that he was there.

When my car broke down, he sent out a freaking fire truck to come and get me.

When I needed to go shopping, he went with me even though he hated it.

He went with me to Spain, when he could have stayed home.

He protected me against my mother when she spoke badly about me in front of him.

Always.

He is always saving me.

I didn’t realize how deep I was drowning until now. I let my insecurities flood me to the point where I was blinded. I shouldn’t be afraid to risk because I am worth it.

Because I deserve it.

I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to apologize for slapping him but every time I came home or left for work, he was never there.

However, today was different. I came home from my normal shift to find his door opened and several boxes outside in the hallway.

My chest tightens as I slowly approached his door. I swung it opened slowly to see an empty apartment. Tears stung and I realized I have truly lost him. For years, he assured, he cradled me while I sobbed my butt off, he fought for me and all I did was push him away each time he tried to get through to me.

I walked into his apartment, feeling like the floor was slipping underneath me and nothing was holding me upright. For the second time, I feel like my world is spinning out of control and I couldn’t get a grasp on it. For days, I have wanted to send him a text or call him but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I was too ashamed.

My hands tightened into fists at my sides. I closed my eyes tightly to stop the incoming flood of tears but it was useless. I felt hollow like someone had scooped everything out of me and left a hollow shell of nothing.

I miss him. I miss my best friend. I miss the comfort of his arms. The pain is unbearable. Seeing this empty apartment was a blow to my heart.

My phone rang and it flashed Emery’s number. I hesitated but I ended picking it up.

“Ryleigh…” Emery started.

I didn’t answer her.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you are mad at us all but I wanted to call and say I am sorry. I was a real bitch to you. I didn’t realize what I was doing until…” She went quiet and then spoke up again. “I’m just sorry. If it makes you feel any better I was always jealous of you. You were always so strong and everybody liked you when we were kids. I had to work so hard to get everyone’s approval and so I took it out on you. I hurt you and continued to do it. It didn’t realize how much it was hurting you until the night you left.”

I didn’t answer her still. My mind and body were numb. She apologized but I am still feeling bitter. It was hard for me to forgive her.

She sighed, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Also…”

There was a long pause before she sighed and spoke again.

“That night Christine didn’t kiss Axel. She’s bitter that Axel keeps turning her down. So she took advantage of the situation when she noticed he was getting drunk from drinking with your dad and brother.” She admitted. “I kicked her out of my wedding. She’s not my wedding planner any longer.”

I should have remembered Axel’s alcohol tolerance level. That guy barely could hold his beer let alone his liquor.

“I understand if you don’t want speak to me…” She went quiet. “But I hope that maybe we can still be cousins.”

“I don’t know. I can’t forgive you yet.” I whispered softly.

“I understand. I guess I’ll see you when you are ready.” She murmured guiltily before hanging up.

After my phone call with Emery, I made my way back to my apartment, still feeling numb. Once I was inside, I locked the front door. Shed everything I was carrying. My purse hit the floor. I kicked off my shoes and pants. I made my way to the bedroom and crawled into my bed, curling up into a ball. I cried as I pulled up the blanket to shield myself from the world.

It did nothing to lessen the pain in my chest. It felt like someone was squeezing it. My lungs were gasping for breaths. There was no sign of comfort.

I cried until I fell asleep.

I woke up to the strong smell of smoke. I blinked several times before realizing the building was on fire. I opened my bedroom door and ran to the living room, The front door and kitchen were engulfed in fire. My phone burned along with it.

Scared I ran to my bedroom window but I was two levels up. I couldn’t jump down without cracking my head. People were running out to the streets. I opened my window and shouted but no one heard me. Something burst behind me making a loud noise. I let out a scream before turning to see what it was. The fire was moving fast and makes its way towards me.

I needed to think.

What did Axel teach me?

Tears ran down my cheeks when I recalled a memory of him and I practicing for the fun of it.

“Close the window, Ryleigh, opening it will draw fire to the oxygen.”

His voice pierced my mind.

I turned to the window that I had just opened and slammed it close. I turned back to the room.

“Good, Hermosa. Get down on your hands and knees and no I do not mean in the dirtiest ways even if I wanted to see you like that.”

I laughed slightly with tears in my eyes, dropping to my hands and knees. I made it to the bathroom where I wet a cloth and covered my nose and mouth. The other one I used it to cover the open gap from the door to the floor. After, I made my way to the bathtub and sat in there. I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. My only way out was completely covered along with the living room that had the fire escape for the apartment.

Silently I prayed that someone will come from me. I prayed that someone will realize I was gone and come save me but who was I kidding? Axel was the only person who noticed me and he is gone now.

Tears ran down my eyes and I curled myself into a ball. I thought about Axel. If he was here, he would be whispering soothing words for me. Telling me not to worry.

It was becoming hotter and hotter and I was starting to lose hope. They won’t be able to save me. I am going to die and I can’t do anything about it and even at this moment, all I could think about was Axel.

It was then I realized how much I love this man and how long I have loved him.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice.

“Ryleigh!”

My eyes opened to the door. For a second I thought I was hallucinating before I heard him curse again and calling out my name.

“Ryleigh! God damn it, answer me!” He roared.

I crawled out of the bathtub and to the door. I touched it with my hands and realized how hot it was. How on earth was he inside my apartment when it was excruciating hot?

“Axel!” I coughed. “I’m in here!”

Smoke was everywhere, seeping through the towel I had underneath the door.

He didn’t hear me. I needed to be louder.

“Axel!” I shouted. “Axel, please I am in here!”

A second later his voice was on the other side of the door.

“Ryleigh?” He shouted.

“I’m in here.” Tears running down my cheeks as I sobbed. “I’m scared, Axel.”

“Everything will be okay. Step away from the door.” He ordered. “Let me know when you safely away from the door.”

I crawled back and gave him the okay. A second later, he broke the door down. His eyes landed on me and I have never seen such determination in his eyes.

He broke down the rest of the door before coming inside. I heard him speaking to the radio before he took off his fire jacket and helmet and putting them on me. I shook my head in protest but he wasn’t having any of it.

“I did what you told me.” I cried.

He nodded, “Good girl. You did good, Hermosa.“

His voice shook and his hands were shaking. I felt him kiss my forehead before pulling his helmet over my head and sweeping me up in bridal style. He carried me out of the bathroom to my bedroom. He slammed the bedroom door closed with his feet. A second later, the bedroom window broke and Javier was out there on tower ladder. Axel passed me to Javier first. Axel came seconds after me. Javier immediately set the ladder back down to the ground.

Axel engulfed me into his arms. He held me tightly to his chest. His body shaking and his breathing ragged.

“Fuck, Hermosa, I thought-” I felt his arms tightened around me.

“I’m sorry.” It was the first thing that was out of my mouth.

“I’m so glad you are okay.” He whispered. “I have never been so scared in my life.”

My vision blurred and I felt my world spinning but I still clung onto him.

“Me too,” I whispered weakly. “Axel, I’m sorry…”

He must have noticed how weak my voice was because he pulled back to look at me. His eyes met mine.

“Shit. Javier, get a fucking gurney over here!” He growled angrily. Javier hopped off the platform and ran somewhere. My head lulled back and forth.

Thick black fog swarms their way to my peripheral vision. He took off the helmet from my head and gripped my face in his hands.

“Stay with me, baby.” His voice sounded distant.

“I’m sorry, Axel,” I whispered again.

“I know, baby, I know but keep your eyes open.” He pleaded.

I tried but my lungs burned. I can’t seem to breathe and everything around me was spinning. I closed my eyes as my vision looked passed Axel and to the night sky letting darkness seep into my body.

Chapter 24 -1

This is a repeat of Chapter 25 but in Axel’s POV

Axel

The boys and I just got done doing a short stretch. I took off my jacket and tossed it on the bench. My body was drenched in sweat. Javier was deckie on this job while Link was running truckie. A typical day at work.

Javier tossed me a towel and I caught it in my hand, “Are you going to go home?”

“No, I think I’ll stick around and see what other jobs might come up,” I replied not meeting his eyes because I already know what he was going to say.

Fuck, I’ve been messed up ever since I came back from Spain. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or think. Work seems to be the only thing that keeps my head on straight. It hurt like a bitch returning back to my apartment and walking past her apartment.

There is an ache in my chest. It tightens when I see flashes of her. A small hint of her sweet scent and I’m fighting blindly against the pain. It hurt too much to live next to her and not want to kiss her senseless-not wanting to run to her door and demand her to love me-to see me.

“You’ve worked since ten last night,” Javier mentioned.

“Yeah, well, I ain’t got nothing else to do. Might as well get some cash while I’m at it.” I grumbled. I shuffled through my work bag for some spare clothes to change into. I haven’t gone home.

I moved back to my mom’s but I had only gone home to crash for a few hours before I got up and headed back to work.

Suddenly, Donnie turned up the volume on the TV that was in the station. Newscasters were outside a familiar building. I read the headline and my blood ran cold. Suddenly the alarms blared. My eyes snapped to the alarm.

“We got work boys.” Donnie shot up from his seat.

I dropped the towel and moved to grab my jacket again. Javier stopped by placing a hand on my shoulder. I gave him a glare.

“We will handle this one. You need to go home.”

“I’m not fucking sitting back. I’m going.” I growled at him, shoving him aside. I shoved the exit door open and headed for the truck.

Javier swore behind me before grabbing his own jacket and following after me. I glanced at him as I hopped into the truck.

“I’ll be damn if I let you go alone. I can’t believe I have a fucking conscience. You better hope the boss doesn’t hear about your fucking crazy mood swings. You’ll be benched.” He grounded before putting on his seatbelt.

I flipped on the switch and drove out before everyone else. My heart was pumping with each wasted second. I needed to get there. I knew she was home because I heard her the first night and I knew without a doubt she was home right now.

“Fuck!” I swore and slammed my hand against the wheel. Javier glanced over at me.

“Calm down, Axel. You won’t be able to help her if you are acting like this.” He warned me but his words fell at deaf ears.

When we made it on the scene the fire was raging. People were rushing out of the building. It was chaos. The chief was trying to maintain some kind of organization but it was hard when fear was present in this crowd. The fire was already raging. One look up and I saw it completely engulfing my apartment building. It was already eating its way to the Ryleigh’s bedroom. Her living room window burst against the heat and people screamed.

“Fuck!” I turned to my chief. “We need to go in.”

“There is no way we are going in until we can tame that beast.” He turned to pin me with a look.

I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a fucking frustrated exhale.

“I can’t. I have to go.” I mumbled. I was in a frenzied state, pacing back and forth. I ran my fingers through my hair.

The chief eyed me suspiciously, “We are not going in. Do you understand?”

My hands curled into fist. I gave him a brief nod before I paced and waited. A minute later another window shattered. My chest tightened so painfully I couldn’t breathe. Shaking my head I knew what I needed to do. All I could think about was her. I needed to get to her.

“Fuck this!” I grabbed my helmet off the truck and dashed inside. I heard the chief and Javier calling my name but I don’t give a fuck.

I can’t lose her.

I pulled on my helmet and ran up the stairs. The fire was a monster. It left me nothing but a lethal path up the second floor landing. I jumped over fallen ceilings and over burnt floorings. Her door was completely engulfed in fire. I kicked it down in one kick. The door was already weak with the fire but it didn’t mean it wasn’t angry with me. The fire blew in my face and I recoiled slightly. My eyes roaming her apartment.

When the fire pulled back, I went inside. Her kitchen and living room was completely destroyed. There was nothing left. I saw a cleared path close to the wall that was closest to her bedroom.

“Ryleigh!” I shouted. My heart was in my throat. My blood was pumping with fear. I only had one person on my mind and I was not leaving until I found her.

“Ryleigh! God damn it, answer me!” I roared, driven by fear.

A second later I heard her voice but I thought it was my imagination. I stopped breathing and then I heard her again. God, it was what I needed to push me forward.

“Axel!” She shouted. “Axel, please I am in here!”

She was scared. I can hear it. It was coming from the bathroom.

“Ryleigh?” I shouted through the door.

“I’m in here.” She said in a weak voice.

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Everything will be okay. Step away from the door.” I ordered. “Let me know when you are safely away from the door.”

It didn’t take long before I heard her voice. I broke the door down. When I saw her on the ground of the bathroom, I nearly fell to my knees in relief. She was safe. She wasn’t hurt. I called out to Javier that I had her and for him to meet me by her bedroom window.

I took off my helmet to give to her.

“I did what you told me.” She cried and my chest tightened once again with an unbearable grip.

“Good girl. You did good, Hermosa.” I said, my throat clogged up with emotions.

I kissed her forehead and placed the helmet over her head before sweeping her up in bridal style. I carried her out of the bathroom and to the bedroom, making sure to slam the door close. The fire was thick and strong. Javier was at the window waiting. I handed her to Javier first before following after her.

The minute we were both outside and safe. I pulled her into my arms. I needed to feel her close. I needed to feel her warm body pressed against mine. My heart was beating so fast in my chest I have never been this scared in my life.

I can’t lose her. I love her. I have always loved her. Just the thought of her…

“Fuck, Hermosa, I thought-” I tightened my arms around her. Just the thought of not being able to see her smile or laugh again, it killed me.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

She didn’t have to be sorry about anything. This was not her fault.

“I’m so glad you are okay,” I whispered before admitting. “I have never been so scared in my life.”

“Me too,” She whispered. “Axel, I’m sorry…”

Her voice dropped at the end. Her body slumped and my heart stopped beating for the hundredth time tonight. I pulled back to look at her. The light was leaving her eyes. Her face was ashen.

“Shit! Javier, get a fucking gurney over here!” I growled, feeling the panic rise in my chest. Javier hopped off the platform and ran towards the EMS. He shouted and pointed towards me. The EMS team came running with a gurney.

I took off her helmet and gripped her face in my hands. I needed her to focus. I needed her to look at me. I can’t lose her. I can’t.

“Stay with me, baby.” I pleaded.

God, please stay with me.

Days of not seeing her and even though the pain in my chest has lessened it was only replaced with a death gripping fear.

“I’m sorry, Axel,” She said again.

“I know, baby, I know but keep your eyes open,” I begged, fighting back the fear and tears that were threatening to escape.

Don’t leave me.

But even when I spoke those words I knew I was losing her. The minute her eyes fluttered close I picked her up. The EMS was waiting for me to hand her to them. There was a part of me that screamed for me to hold her close. I needed her. She was the only person that will take away the pain in my chest but I knew I need her alive and I can’t do that by holding her in my arms.

My eyes never leaving her unconscious form. I swallowed the lump in my throat and followed the EMS into the ambulance. I didn’t care about anything else. I only cared about her at this moment. My hands wrapping tightly around hers as the EMS worked around me.

Fuck, I never prayed to god but this time I prayed. I prayed for him to not take her. I prayed for him to bring her back because I needed her to breathe. I needed to her to live because without her my world was dark.

Chapter 25

I woke up a little confused as to where I was, but everything quickly came flooding back. My apartment was on fire. Axel came for me. I can feel my right hand was trapped underneath something and so I used my left hand to touch my face gingerly. A nose tube was placed to provide me with oxygen. I blinked several times and then tried pulling my right hand out from underneath the weight only to feel someone shift beside me.

“You’re awake.” Axel breathed, a smile appearing on his face.

His face was covered in dirt and ashes. His unkempt hair was unusually unrulier then I am used to. He moved to stand up and I noticed he was still wearing his work attire. Yellow fire pants and a tight black t-shirt. His bicep muscles strain against the sleeve as he moved to touch my face.

“Are you thirsty? Are you okay? How do you feel?” He asked with concern.

I want to answer him but there I couldn’t believe he was here. Axel came back for me even though we didn’t end on good terms. My eyes stung, and I knew I’ll be crying again.

He cupped my face, ”Hermosa?”

He looks worried now. His eyes connected with mine and what he saw worried him.

“What is it?” He prodded further. “Are you hurt? Should I get the doctor?”

A tear slipped from my eyes and I shook my head in his hands. I shouldn’t have done that. My head pulsed in pain and I closed my eyes tightly.

“I’m getting a doctor.” He started moving away but I grabbed onto his wrist before he could leave.

“Stay,” I whispered a little hoarsely. My eyes opening to focus in on him again. He looked hesitant.

“I’m fine,” I replied. “Just a headache.”

He nodded, “I’ll ring for the nurse then.”

He pressed the calling button on the bed. A second later a nurse came on the speaker. He told her I was awake, and the nurse said she will swing by to check in on me.

The nurse checked over my vitals and told me the doctor was okay with me to take some pain relievers to help with a headache. She seemed happy that I have recovered with no burns or anything just a bad case of carbon monoxide inhalation.

An hour later, Axel and I were alone again. He never left my side. It was bittersweet. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I didn’t know where to start. I risked a glance at him. He was sitting on the sleeping sofa in the room. His eyes were on me but I couldn’t read the emotions in his eyes. He was hiding from me.

“What happened?” I asked.

His jaw clenched, “Renter downstairs from my apartment. He fell asleep with a lit cigarette. It lit up his whole apartment.”

My eyes widening, “Is he okay?”

Axel scoffed, clearly not happy.

“He got a few burns but fucker will live.”

We went silent for a while and for the first time it was awkward between us. As if we didn’t know each other or haven’t spent a whole month together, sleeping in one bed. I couldn’t look at him any longer. It was killing me inside. I turned away from him and instead focus my attention at the white ceiling.

“Thank you for being there,” I said, my eyes stinging with tears. “If it wasn’t for you, I will be dead by now.”

He stood up immediately and walked over to my side. He sat on the edge and grabbed my left hand in both of his to get my attention.

My eyes flitted back to him. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to say something but there was a knock at the door. We both turned to see Javier coming inside.

Javier is a handsome devil. He is part Hispanic and part Caucasian. Axel and he are the same height and carried almost the same body built. Javier was just slightly muscular in the upper body. He also had the craziest and lightest color of green eyes. I must admit, it is what pulls women to him. Those eyes are entrancing. However, even with all that he couldn’t compare to Axel. In my eyes, Axel is everything.

“Oh, did I interrupt something?” Javier didn’t sound surprised or apologetic. He smirked as he continued to walk into the room carrying a brown bag. He tossed it at Axel before returning his attention to me.

“How are you feeling, babe?” he asked.

“Get lost, Javier,” Axel growled.

Javier chuckled before jutting a finger at Axel, “He is on suspension by the big boss.”

I glanced at Axel who looked away. He scratched the back of his neck. I looked to Javier again.

“Why?” I asked.

“He ran into a burning building. The boss told him to wait until they could control the fire. The dumbass went charging inside disobeying orders.” Javier explained. “Nobody could hold him back.”

Javier continued to update us on how badly damage the apartment was. My whole apartment including the renter below us and Axel’s was completely burnt. I lost everything.

“There is nothing left?” I asked running my mind through everything that was important to me.

Javier scratched at his temple, his midnight hair falling over his forehead.

“Everything is gone.”

Axel squeezed my hand and I turned back to him, “George and Raina were inside.”

“Who?” Javier asked in confusion. “I’m pretty sure we did a body count- ”

“It’s my teddy bears,” I told him.

Javier stayed with us a while longer but left shortly after receiving a phone call to get back to work. Axel and I were alone again.

“Axel…” I spoke first breaking the silence. “I’m sorry.”

My eyes connected with his and they softened. He inched forward and cupped my cheek, bringing his forehead against mine.

“I thought I lost you. When I saw your apartment going up in flames-I thought I lost you. At that point, I didn’t care what happened to me. I just needed to see you.” He admitted, tears glistening in his eyes. His lips were pressed into a thin line and he blinked furiously to ward off the tears. “When I heard your voice, it was like a jump start to my heart.”

“It was scary. I was scared.” I confessed, closing my eyes and leaning into his touch.

He chuckled, “Baby, I have never been more scared in my life. You don’t know how much you mean to me. I will die for you, Hermosa.“

I gnawed at my bottom lips, the tears from early now spilled down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Axel. I pushed you away. I know it isn’t fair. I shouldn’t hold your past against you. The things you did-”

“I’m an asshole, Ryleigh. You don’t need to say sorry. I was an asshole back then but what I feel in here- “He brought a palm to his heart. “What I feel for you is not a lie. It as strong as the blood that pumps through my veins.”

“I saw you moved away. Your apartment was empty.” I said.

He sighed, “I couldn’t bear seeing the look of betrayal in your eyes. I couldn’t bear living next to you and not want to love you. So, I moved back to my mom’s place until I can find another place to live.”

“You were leaving me,” I started but it came out as a question.

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

I bit my bottom lips as I thought of a way to say what I wanted to truly say. I can’t allow my insecurities to hold me back. I have to take a jump and get the things I want. My eyes landed on his perfect lips and suddenly I wanted to kiss it. Feel it again. The urge was overpowering and I lifted one hand to the back of his neck. He must’ve seen what I was doing because he allowed me to pull him down. My lips found his soft ones immediately.

A small innocent brush first before I pulled in his bottom lips almost tentatively, but one taste was not enough, and my other hand came up to pull him closer. I tasted his lips with a desperate hunger. He seemed to meet me halfway each time until I felt him take control. Pressing me onto the bed. His tongue slipping in and taking what is his. I moaned in pleasure and clung to his body. My tongue found his and playfully touching it. It drove him madder and his hands snuck their way into my hair to control the kiss.

“Don’t leave me,” I whispered when he pulled back enough to give me air.

His lips came crashing down on me again. The need to feel him close. To cling to him and never let him go was an overwhelming force. My fingers dug into his shoulder. I didn’t care that he reeked of smoke. I didn’t care that he was still dirty. This was Axel kissing me.

When he pulled back we were both breathing hard. He pressed his forehead against mine.

“Don’t leave me.” I pleaded. “I need you.”

“I won’t. I’ll stay with you always.” His voice was husky from the kiss.

Several hours later, Axel took a shower in the connected hospital bathroom shower in my hospital room. He came out with damp hair and some new clothes. He walked immediately over to my side and sat down. The TV was on with a movie playing in the background. He took hold of my hand with one of his without saying anything. The contact was almost needed between us.

The doctor came in an hour later to look me over. He flipped through his tablet, writing a few things down.

“Your lungs seem to be working okay. It isn’t completely clear, but a few oxygen treatments will help clear it up right away. I would like to keep you overnight just for observation. If tomorrow everything is normal, you can go home.” He said after a while before looking up with a smile. “You are lucky to survive that fire. From the news, it looked pretty bad.”

After the doctor left, Axel left to go run some errands. I didn’t have anything to wear for tomorrow. So he made a trip back to his mom’s place to grab his clothes for me. Still exhausted from everything that has happened and the last couple of days of no sleep, I took advantage of his absence and fell asleep immediately.

Chapter 26

I can feel Axel’s heated eyes on me while slipping on his black sweats and an oversized t-shirt. The doctor has given me the okay to go home. Last night, I had called Brandon to tell him I was in the hospital. He freaked out and asked how I was. I told him everything was fine but it didn’t sit right with him. He was going to come but I insisted that I will be fine. He offered to tell mom and dad as I wasn’t ready to talk to them.

“You ready?” He asked walking up next to me.

I nodded, tying my hair up into a messy bun. He grabbed my hospital bag and the other wrapped around my shoulders.

“I think it’s better if I go to a hotel,” I said.

“It is fine. Don’t worry.” He assured me before we walked out of the hospital room.

Axel insisted that I stayed with him at his mom’s house. I have met his mom a couple of times but they were brief encounters. It’s been a while but she’s a sweet woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. I am still a little uncomfortable with the idea of living under someone’s roof and would much rather prefer to go to a hotel, but Axel is persistent.

When we arrived at his mom’s place, he opened the front door.

“Mamá, ya llegue (Mom, I’m home.)”

His mother was a petite woman. Her head popped out from the kitchen. She looked at Axel with accusing eyes before it landed on me. The rest of her body followed her out from the kitchen. She was carrying a laundry basket.

She walked up to us and shook her head. Her eyes still glaring at her son.

“No estuviste en casa por varios días. Apenas llegas y te me apareces con una muchacha. Que hiciste? Esta embarazada? (You’ve been gone for several days. You barely came home and now you appear in front of me with a woman. What did you do? Is she pregnant?)”

Axel’s eyes widened before he shook his head adamantly.

“No! No está emabarazada! Es mi novia (No! She’s not pregnant! She’s my girlfriend.)” Axel replied in Spanish. Whatever he said had her eyes fall on me. She looked at me from head to toe, not in a rude way but to observe me curiously.

“Esta bonita. Nunca traes chicas a la casa. Que ha cambiado? (She’s a pretty girl. You never bring girls home. What has to change?)” She turned her attention back to Axel. Whatever she said had Axel rubbing the back of his neck and running a hand through his dark locks.

“La amo, mamá. Viste las noticias? Su apartamento se quemó. Se va a quedar con nosotros por un rato. (I love her, mom. Did you watch the news? Her apartment burned down. She will be staying with us for a while.)”

“Te voy a decir a ti lo mismo que le dije a tus hermanos. Mientras estés en esta casa, no van a haber nada de cochambradas. Si la amas, le darás un anillo primero. (I am going to say the same thing to you, the things I said to your brothers. While you are in this house, there will be no dirty stuff. If you love her, put a ring on her finger first.)” Axel’s mom glared once again at Axel.

This is another reason why I need to take Spanish classes. I can’t go on not understanding the conversation going on. It made me look like the oddball. However, in this situation, it looks like it is a good thing I didn’t understand Spanish. Axel looked very uncomfortable.

“En serio? (Seriously?)” He muttered.

“Te lo digo por tu propio bien. (I’m telling you for your own good.)”

“Soy un adulto- (I’m a grown man-)”

“Ya he escuchado eso antes. No me importa. Todavía eres mi chiquillo. (I heard that before. I don’t care. You’re still my child.)”

“I think we will be sleeping in separate bedrooms,” Axel admitted to me in English after his brief conversation with his mom.

I didn’t mind at all. I’m still exhausted from the lack of sleep for the past few days. Any bed will do for me.

Axel led me up the narrow stairs and down the hall. When we reached the end, he opened the door to the left.

“This is my room. You’ll sleep in here.” He turned to his right. “I’ll sleep in Diego’s room. He is still studying abroad.”

I nodded before entering. Axel stood by the door and watched me. His room had a few soccer awards and medals lined up on the dresser. I moved to sit on the edge of his bed. My eyes skimmed past him. He had his hands shoved in his pocket while he leaned against the doorway. He didn’t say anything. A few posters on the wall and a closet. It was small but comfortable. I can see that he hasn’t been back here for a while too.

“Sorry, it’s small-”

“It’s perfect.” I smiled before falling on his bed. I frowned as soon as I saw a nude magazine page that was ripped out and taped above me.

He cleared his throat and I heard him enter and closing the door behind him. He got onto the bed and ripped it from the ceiling.

I started laughing while he crumbled it up in his hands.

“Do I even want to know what you were doing while looking up at that picture?” I grinned at him while I turned onto my side to look at him.

He smirked and crawled onto the bed. His lips found my neck where he slowly sucked.

“I think you know exactly what I was doing.” He murmured.

I gulped, and my heart sped quickly in my chest. I tilted my head to give him better access to which he greedily accepted.

To be quite honest, just the thought of him touching himself had my core quivering with need.

I can imagine him, lying down on the bed with his erection fisted in his hands. Pumping hard and fast. Soft little groans passing his lips while his eyes closed tightly as his release hits him.

I moaned out loud and my hands moved to tangle in his hair.

“I think I would like to see that,” I whispered.

He pulled back to look down at me. His eyes darkening with desire. I chewed my bottom lip to grasp onto some form of control.

“I’m beginning to regret bringing you here.” He said with a regretful smile.

I chuckled and pushed him away. He sighed and got off the bed. I can see his bulge evidently straining against his jeans. He adjusted himself with a groan.

“I think we need to go out.” He grumbled.

I frowned, “Why?”

He grinned, “I need you alone.”

“Alone?” I am tired, but I couldn’t help the desire that pooled between my legs. There was an ache that I knew only he could relieve.

There was a sense of thrill at the realization that this man in front of me was turned on by me and needed me. It gave me a sense of empowerment that sent confidence running through my veins. I pushed off the bed and walked up to him.

He eyed me warily but let out a hiss when I palmed his heavy and thick crotch. His forehead fell onto mine and he drew in his bottom lips.

“My man needs a release?” I whispered huskily.

He nodded, and I swear I was dripping between my legs.

I squeezed and rubbed him until he groaned, squeezing his eyes tightly.

“What if I said no?” I teased.

His eyes flew open and in a flash he had me turned around. He grounded his bulge against my backside. I moaned and one hand underneath my shirt to cup my breast.

“You need me just as much as I need you.” He said huskily.

Damn…

He leaned in and nipped my earlobes, “Let’s go out, Hermosa. I’m hungry.”

A few hours later, he and I were at a local diner. Throughout dinner, he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Touching and brushing up against me. It was driving me insane. I gave him the impression that he had the upper hand, but I’ll pay him back once we are alone again.

He leaned forward while I ate another fry. His usual playful attitude gone. I can see the seriousness in his eyes.

“I want to talk about Christina.” He started.

I shook my head, “It’s okay. I should have trusted you that you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.”

He sighed, “She was making advances and I swear I told her off many times, but the woman was determined. She thought I would change my mind. I was a little drunk that night. I didn’t understand what was happening until it was too late. I didn’t kiss her. She made it look like it but that wasn’t the case.”

I nodded with a sigh. I wiped my hands on the napkin and scooted closer to him.

“After you left, I cried and waited for you to return,” I told him.

He looked heartbroken upon hearing that, “I’m sorry, Hermosa. I let my anger get to me.”

“I’m sorry for slapping you,” I admitted. “I am ashamed of what I did.”

“I was an asshole.”

I smirked, “Yes, you were.”

He grinned back, and I averted my eyes to my food again.

“After that night, I flipped out on everybody. I yelled at my mom, Emery, and Christina. I didn’t hold anything back. I thought I would feel guilty, but I felt nothing but relief. As if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don’t care what others think of me. I should do things that I want because I want to, not because someone thinks it is what I should do.”

I fought back tears not because it hurt but because it was liberating to talk about it.

“I realized that all my life that even when I tried to break away from what people expected of me, I never truly broke away. It was like I put my life on autopilot and allowed them to control me.” I turned to face him. “Do you know how good it felt to take back control? To grasp the wheels and know that you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it?”

“Like you are standing on top of the mountain?” He replied.

I giggled, “Yes, exactly.”

He leaned in and kissed me thoroughly, expressing his love and adoration. When he pulled back we were both breathless.

“I want to go back to school,” I said spontaneously. “I want to get my nursing degree.”

He chuckled before leaning in again to kiss me on the lips, “I think I like this new you.”

“I like her too,” I replied and kissed him back.

It was supposed to be an innocent kiss, but it grew heavier and deeper. When he pulled back his eyes were dark with lust.

“Let’s get out of here.”

I couldn’t agree more. We paid the check and hurried on out. By the time we left the diner, it was well over eight and dark outside.

Chapter 27

I felt pumped, feverish, more alive than I had ever thought possible. For the first time in a long time, I had no worries. I should feel the opposite because I now have no home but even that couldn’t dampen my mood. I felt giddy. I don’t know if it will be shortlived but at this moment, I was happy.

A small playful smile playing on my face as we passed the hotel lobby and headed up to the elevators. I’m pretty sure the check-in lady knew exactly what we were up to as Axel can never keep his hands off me.

I released Axel’s hand and quickened my steps toward the elevator. He made a move to grab for me and I let out a small sound before giggling and entering an elevator that was opened and ready for us. He followed me in seconds later just before the elevator door closed behind us. I saw him quickly pressed our floor just as he entered.

He pressed me up against the wall with his body. My hands landed on his shoulders just as he captured my lips. He took immediate control. The kiss was full on, open mouth, hot and heated.

Hungry.

I moaned and ran my hands up his neck to tug at his hair slightly. He pressed his hard arousal against my stomach and desire stirred inside of me. Axel’s hands cupped my ass and ground against me.

The elevator chimed and slowed down to our floor. He broke away the kiss and took hold of my wrist. He leaned forward and brushed aside my hair to whisper in my ear.

“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t stop screaming my name.” He declared huskily.

My core quivered and pulsed in anticipation. He pulled us out of the elevator. I laughed softly when he took us in the wrong direction. I had to put my heels down to direct his attention back the other hallway.

Growling, he moved to touch me again but I sidestepped him. I removed his hand around my wrist and started towards the room. He was hot on my heels. By the time I reached our door, he spun me around and pressed me up against the wall.

We were both breathing hard. His eyes were dark and fiery with lust. The door clicked and I realized he had slipped the key card in. The door swung open and we both entered. His lips crashed onto mine just as he swung the door closed.

Now that we were alone, I was just as eager. I met him stroke for stroke, suck for suck. He pressed me up against the wall. One leg between my legs. He moved it up and down my core and I moaned into the kiss.

I pushed him back and his knees hit the bed before he fell down. His eyes wide with surprise. I chewed my bottom lip. My eyes dropping to his bulge.

“I want to see you touch yourself.” I breathed.

I saw him physically swallow before his hand reached to his belt. He unbuckled before unbuttoning. I watched with clear interest and when he finally freed his shaft. My core clenched at the large size of it.

When he made no move to do anything else, I cocked an eyebrow while meeting his eyes. He smirked before fisting his erection. Slowly he stroke it up and down. The small bead of pre-cum spilling just over the top. I licked my lips.

I moved to strip off my t-shirt. His eyes dropped to my breasts that were safely protected in my bra. He bit his bottom lip as his stroking increase. He likes what he sees.

“God, Hermosa.” He said huskily, dropping his head back while biting his bottom lip.

I stripped off his sweats that I have on. I removed his hand from pumping his cock. He watched me with dark lustful eyes. I flicked my tongue over the seam of the tip of his cock. He hissed and his hands fisted the sheet.

This is my first time giving a man head. The instant salty taste of him was addicting and I couldn’t wait. I wrapped my mouth around the head of his erection and suckle it like a popsicle.

“Fuck!” He groaned. “Ryleigh, god, baby.”

Encouraged now, I took him in more and more with each suck. I made sure my tongue swirled around his head when I pulled back. It was more than enough to drive him mad and he didn’t even last a minute.

He flipped me onto the bed and straddle my hips. He took off his shirt before leaning down to pull down my bra, popping out my breasts for him to feast on. He sucked and licked them like it was dripping sticky honey.

I can’t think with his mouth on me like that. Its heat was driving me insane. I moaned his name and dug my fingers into his shoulders.

Axel was whispering in Spanish. The huskiness in his voice and the roll of his tongue ignites a fire in me.

“Axel, please,” I begged unable to wait much longer. I needed something and he was making me go crazy.

Still…

He didn’t stop. He kissed his way down my body, appreciating every curve. When he reached my core he pulled down my panties. Spreading my legs he blew on my already throbbing clit. My head rolled back and I arched my hips seeking relief.

“Axel…” I panted.

“Want me to lick you, baby?” He knew I did and it irritated me. I looked down at him and saw the devilish smirk appear on his face. I bit my bottom lips before my hands tangled in his hair and I brought my core to his mouth in an offering.

He groaned the minute his mouth touched me. I, on the other hand, died. He sucked and licked me clean. Left no drop to waste.

“Oh god. Oh god.” I panted, feeling something inside me coil tighter and tighter.

“Axel!”

He cursed before pulling back. He stripped out from the rest of his clothes. Fumbling in his pants to find his wallet. He pulled out a condom, tearing it with his teeth before slipping the rubber on his thick twitching erection.

He moved back onto the bed and between my inviting open legs. Grasping onto my hips he thrust in one move, entering me completely to the hilt.

I gasped in awe of how beautiful he filled me and how amazing it felt. It sent tingles all over my body to my very toes. I grabbed onto his hands that were on my hips, holding me prisoner.

“Ah, baby, you feel so good.” He groaned.

He pulled back all the way before thrusting hard inside me.

“Oh, God.” My eyes rolled back in ecstasy. “Keep going!”

He chuckled before increasing his thrust. He drilled his cock into me over and over. It stretched and touched me in ways I know no one will ever be able to.

It didn’t take long before I knew I was close to the edge of no return. I moved to grab the pillows behind me as I ready for my earth-shattering orgasm but he pulled out.

I whimper in frustration but let out a yelp of surprise when he flipped me over to my hands and knees.

He thrust back inside of me and I snapped. My orgasm rippled through my body. I clutched the sheets as I cried out his name repeatedly as I came.

I thought we were done but I quickly realized he didn’t have his release yet. He pushed my torso down to the mattress before sliding his hands back to my hips. One grip it tightly while the other slapped my ass hard. I clenched around his cock.

He groaned and continued to piston inside me. Each thrust hit me right on the spot. I’m already on my way to my second orgasm of the night.

“Axel…” I moaned. “God, you feel so good inside me. I want you to fuck me hard, Axel.”

I didn’t realize how much he liked dirty talk until I saw how sporadic and crazy is thrust were. He was almost there and I love it.

“I love that dirty mouth.” He hissed as he moved me down completely to the mattress. His propped himself up with his hands on either side of me as he used his hips to thrust inside of me.

It was hot, sweaty, and crazy. I felt my world spinning again. Muffling my moans into the mattress. My hands flew to grab hold of his wrists that were propped next to me.

“Axel, ” I cried out as I am once again swept off my feet and into ecstasy again.

He let out a guttural throaty sound before I felt the short hard trust as he released inside the condom. His forehead dropping to my shoulder. His heavy body on top of mine.

I can feel exhaustion wrapping around me. My eyes fluttering closed. I felt him shift slightly and the brush of his lips on my temple.

“I love you, Ryleigh. I have always loved you.”

My heart swells with happiness and my eyes stung with tears.

“I love you too,” I whispered back. He turned me around in his arms and pinched my chin.

“Say it again.” He demanded.

“I love you, Axel.” I smiled at him

He grinned and captured my lips to give me a long heated kiss before releasing me to get cleaned up. When he came back, he pulled me back into his arms. By then I was almost asleep.

“I love you.” He said again just before I fell asleep.

Epilogue

A few months have passed. A lot has happened since the fire. Axel and I moved into our own apartment together. I have placed an application to begin my nursing degree.

One of the most important things I have learned after all this is I needed to love myself in order to be able to be stronger. I needed to realize that I am born with flaws but it doesn’t necessarily make me not beautiful. True beauty isn’t on the outside. It is what is on the inside.

With Axel by my side, I have learned to build my self-confidence.

I’ve realized that I am stronger than I perceived myself. Strength comes with battle scars. There will be people who will tear me down, but it isn’t me who is weak. It is them.

Why do I say that?

The truth out of all this is that they are the ones who are insecure. They are the ones who needed to change to fit society’s image of perfect. I never attempted but it didn’t mean I didn’t let it affect me. What I did was simply turned that part off and took control of what I wanted.

Emery’s last words resonated in my mind and I realized that forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness.

Holding the grudge will not make me stronger. It will hold me back. It will make me just like them.

I am learning to look at things on the other side where there isn’t judgment, grudges, hate, or the need to fit into society. That love and forgiveness can conquer the darkness in this world.

I sat in the middle of the queen size bed that Axel and I got for our apartment, my fingers hovering over my mother’s phone number. Brandon has been insisting that I call her. That she has been worried sick and needed to hear from me. It took me a while, I am not going to lie but this is another step in finding myself. Inhaling, I hit the call button.

To my amazement, she picked up immediately.

“Hello?” Her voice sounded on the other end. She doesn’t realize it is me because she doesn’t have my number.

“Mom?” I said in a whisper.

The line went quiet but I can hear her breathing in the background. After a moment she spoke up.

“It took you long enough to call me.” She started, her voice cracking as she spoke. “Do you realize how worried I was? How I felt when your brother was the one that told me that your apartment was on fire? That I am not the person you would call if you ever needed help?”

I didn’t reply. After a moment she sighed and I can imagine her pinching the area between her eyes.

“But…” She started and once she started she didn’t stop. “I realized that it isn’t your fault. It is completely mine. I am your mother. I should be protecting you. I was but not in the way that is right. You are completely right, Ryleigh, what you said back in Spain. I should have your back.”

Tears started streaming down my cheeks as I listened to her.

“What I did…I am ashamed of. I lost myself along the way and I end up hurting you. Those words you said to me in Spain, it hurt. It hurt to realize that I was the one that caused you pain. I was the culprit and there was nothing I could do to shield you from it. I couldn’t protect you. I know you don’t believe me after all the damage I have done but I want you to know that I love you. I truly do.” There was a sad lightness to her voice. “In my own sick way, I did it because I thought it was best for you when I should have realized that you are perfect the way you are. I am sorry, Ryleigh.”

God, it felt like someone was clawing at my chest. Peeling my skin slowly until I was crying out in pain. I know she loves me. She wouldn’t buy me things, wouldn’t push things on me if she didn’t. She cares. The only thing she did wrong was loving me in the wrong way.

“I love you too, mom,” I whispered through my tears. “And I forgive you.”

She inhaled sharply and after a minute she spoke up again, “Your father and I would like to visit you…”

Her voice dropped at the end. I realized she was hesitating, afraid that I will decline but I can’t say no to her. She was my mother and I love her regardless of what she did or who she is.

“I’ll like that,” I whispered.

I can hear smiling on the other end, “Maybe we can do something together. Go shopping or go get pedicures.”

“I’ve started school again, mom. I probably won’t be free until the weekend.” I told her.

We continued talking for another hour. It was the first time, we had a real conversation back and forth. She didn’t push anything on me. She simply wanted to spend time with me.

After I hung up the phone with her, I changed into some dark denim skinny jeans and an off shoulder oversize white t-shirt. I slipped on a pair of white lazy sneakers before heading out of the apartment.

Although my chest still ached and my eyes are puffy, I walked a few blocks to the fire station. I have become more active than usual not because I want to fit into what society believed is a weight a woman should have but because I wanted to be healthy. I see a future and I want to be the first one to grasp at it and in order to do that I needed to turn around and look at myself once again.

My hand shoved in my pockets, I took in the sunny and warm blanket of today’s weather. It helped alleviate the pain in my chest and by the time I got to the fire station, I felt a lot better. Walking lightly, I found Axel outside talking to his buddies. They were still dressed in their work suits. A few had on their jacket and the others had only the yellow work pants on.

Axel was in his yellow work pants and a tight black t-shirt that hugged his torso like a second skin. He must have caught me coming from the corner of his eyes because he turned to face me. A smile appearing on his face. His buddies that he was speaking to shoved him. A joke passed between them and Axel shoved them back before meeting me halfway in the driveway.

“Hermosa.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me flush against him. “What are you doing here?”

I glanced behind him and caught a few of his buddies regarding us. I flash them a smile before returning my eyes back to my man.

“I had nothing to do. I finished my assignments and figured I’ll come to hang out around here. You know, where all the hot men are at.” I grinned.

His scowl deepened, “I’m sorry but there is only one hot man you should be eye fucking.”

“Oh, you mean Javier?” I played dumb.

He growled and leaned down to bite my cheek. I cowered away from him with a giggle and he supplemented his attack by running his lips on my neck.

“Don’t tease me. I’ll go big bad wolf on you right here, Hermosa.” He murmured huskily.

I pushed him away so that we can talk properly. If I didn’t, he would probably take me right here in the driveway. He pulled back but one hand remained around my waist properly. He looked down at me with those smoldering deep-set eyes that seemed to crawl right into my soul, shaking me to my core.

We walked over to his buddies. His buddies know who I am-well as his best friend but in the last few months, they knew whatever was between Axel and me has changed.

Still, that didn’t stop them from riling Axel up. Wolf whistles and winks shooting my way. Axel threw them all a good glower that told them to back the fuck up or he will throw a few punches.

Javier stepped out from behind the firetruck. His eyes lighting up when he saw me. He sauntered over.

“Hey baby, here to see me? Can’t get enough of Javier?” He flashed me a panty dropping smirk. It has no effect on me but I know Javier. It works every time he meets a girl. All he needed to do was twinkle those green eyes and flash that smirk.

Axel pinned him with a warning glare. His hands tightening on my waist. Axel has become my Alpha male-possessive and demanding. I don’t mind it because it is always steamy in the bedroom and sometimes even out. The man has powerful stamina that is basically unquenchable when it comes to me.

I knocked Javier back with a retort that had him chuckling and the rest of the buddies near laughing. Axel grinned down at me and planted a kiss on my forehead. We continued for the next thirty minutes, bantering back and forth. Axel had to throw a few punches to Javier who was laughing harder each time he teased Axel.

Another woman stepped out from the station. She had on a white tank top and was rocking a pair of yellow work pants just like Axel. I have never seen her before. She must be the rookie that Axel was talking about. The one that has Javier throwing moods from left to right. She had long red hair that was tied into a ponytail. Her physique was toned which told me she worked out quite a lot. She tossed Javier an indifferent look before joining the circle and conversation.

After a while, Axel pulled me away and into the empty break room. He pushed me up against his locker and locked me with his body pressed against mine.

One hand on my waist and other cupping my cheek as he crushed his lips onto mine. I can feel his arousal pressing against my stomach. He groaned against my lips.

“Damn, baby, I can’t get enough of you. You got me thinking about all kinds of dirty thoughts.” He muttered.

I chuckled and snuck my hands underneath his shirt.

“What’s stopping you from taking me now?” I whispered.

“Well, we are at my workplace.” He retorted huskily. His breath hitching as I inched higher and higher.

“And?”

He smirked against my lips, ”Hermosa, you are so bad.”

I grinned when I saw his lips captured mine and his own hands sneaking underneath my jeans to cup me. Axel never fails to follow through when I needed him. He always leaves me satisfied and loved. He makes sure to shower me with words and encouragement. He has always been my pillar. His fingers made quick work and soon I was screaming out his name in the break room.

When I came down from my high, he was licking his fingers. Damn, he will be the death of me.

He crushed his lips on me and I could taste myself on his lips.

“I love you.” He said once he pulled back enough and we were breathing hard again.

My heart soared and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him close.

For what was suppose to be a piece of cake, turned my whole world completely around.

“I love you too.”

Epilogue

A few months have passed. A lot has happened since the fire. Axel and I moved into our own apartment together. I have placed an application to begin my nursing degree.

One of the most important things I have learned after all this is I needed to love myself in order to be able to be stronger. I needed to realize that I am born with flaws but it doesn’t necessarily make me not beautiful. True beauty isn’t on the outside. It is what is on the inside.

With Axel by my side, I have learned to build my self-confidence.

I’ve realized that I am stronger than I perceived myself. Strength comes with battle scars. There will be people who will tear me down, but it isn’t me who is weak. It is them.

Why do I say that?

The truth out of all this is that they are the ones who are insecure. They are the ones who needed to change to fit society’s image of perfect. I never attempted but it didn’t mean I didn’t let it affect me. What I did was simply turned that part off and took control of what I wanted.

Emery’s last words resonated in my mind and I realized that forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness.

Holding the grudge will not make me stronger. It will hold me back. It will make me just like them.

I am learning to look at things on the other side where there isn’t judgment, grudges, hate, or the need to fit into society. That love and forgiveness can conquer the darkness in this world.

I sat in the middle of the queen size bed that Axel and I got for our apartment, my fingers hovering over my mother’s phone number. Brandon has been insisting that I call her. That she has been worried sick and needed to hear from me. It took me a while, I am not going to lie but this is another step in finding myself. Inhaling, I hit the call button.

To my amazement, she picked up immediately.

“Hello?” Her voice sounded on the other end. She doesn’t realize it is me because she doesn’t have my number.

“Mom?” I said in a whisper.

The line went quiet but I can hear her breathing in the background. After a moment she spoke up.

“It took you long enough to call me.” She started, her voice cracking as she spoke. “Do you realize how worried I was? How I felt when your brother was the one that told me that your apartment was on fire? That I am not the person you would call if you ever needed help?”

I didn’t reply. After a moment she sighed and I can imagine her pinching the area between her eyes.

“But…” She started and once she started she didn’t stop. “I realized that it isn’t your fault. It is completely mine. I am your mother. I should be protecting you. I was but not in the way that is right. You are completely right, Ryleigh, what you said back in Spain. I should have your back.”

Tears started streaming down my cheeks as I listened to her.

“What I did…I am ashamed of. I lost myself along the way and I end up hurting you. Those words you said to me in Spain, it hurt. It hurt to realize that I was the one that caused you pain. I was the culprit and there was nothing I could do to shield you from it. I couldn’t protect you. I know you don’t believe me after all the damage I have done but I want you to know that I love you. I truly do.” There was a sad lightness to her voice. “In my own sick way, I did it because I thought it was best for you when I should have realized that you are perfect the way you are. I am sorry, Ryleigh.”

God, it felt like someone was clawing at my chest. Peeling my skin slowly until I was crying out in pain. I know she loves me. She wouldn’t buy me things, wouldn’t push things on me if she didn’t. She cares. The only thing she did wrong was loving me in the wrong way.

“I love you too, mom,” I whispered through my tears. “And I forgive you.”

She inhaled sharply and after a minute she spoke up again, “Your father and I would like to visit you…”

Her voice dropped at the end. I realized she was hesitating, afraid that I will decline but I can’t say no to her. She was my mother and I love her regardless of what she did or who she is.

“I’ll like that,” I whispered.

I can hear smiling on the other end, “Maybe we can do something together. Go shopping or go get pedicures.”

“I’ve started school again, mom. I probably won’t be free until the weekend.” I told her.

We continued talking for another hour. It was the first time, we had a real conversation back and forth. She didn’t push anything on me. She simply wanted to spend time with me.

After I hung up the phone with her, I changed into some dark denim skinny jeans and an off shoulder oversize white t-shirt. I slipped on a pair of white lazy sneakers before heading out of the apartment.

Although my chest still ached and my eyes are puffy, I walked a few blocks to the fire station. I have become more active than usual not because I want to fit into what society believed is a weight a woman should have but because I wanted to be healthy. I see a future and I want to be the first one to grasp at it and in order to do that I needed to turn around and look at myself once again.

My hand shoved in my pockets, I took in the sunny and warm blanket of today’s weather. It helped alleviate the pain in my chest and by the time I got to the fire station, I felt a lot better. Walking lightly, I found Axel outside talking to his buddies. They were still dressed in their work suits. A few had on their jacket and the others had only the yellow work pants on.

Axel was in his yellow work pants and a tight black t-shirt that hugged his torso like a second skin. He must have caught me coming from the corner of his eyes because he turned to face me. A smile appearing on his face. His buddies that he was speaking to shoved him. A joke passed between them and Axel shoved them back before meeting me halfway in the driveway.

“Hermosa.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me flush against him. “What are you doing here?”

I glanced behind him and caught a few of his buddies regarding us. I flash them a smile before returning my eyes back to my man.

“I had nothing to do. I finished my assignments and figured I’ll come to hang out around here. You know, where all the hot men are at.” I grinned.

His scowl deepened, “I’m sorry but there is only one hot man you should be eye fucking.”

“Oh, you mean Javier?” I played dumb.

He growled and leaned down to bite my cheek. I cowered away from him with a giggle and he supplemented his attack by running his lips on my neck.

“Don’t tease me. I’ll go big bad wolf on you right here, Hermosa.” He murmured huskily.

I pushed him away so that we can talk properly. If I didn’t, he would probably take me right here in the driveway. He pulled back but one hand remained around my waist properly. He looked down at me with those smoldering deep-set eyes that seemed to crawl right into my soul, shaking me to my core.

We walked over to his buddies. His buddies know who I am-well as his best friend but in the last few months, they knew whatever was between Axel and me has changed.

Still, that didn’t stop them from riling Axel up. Wolf whistles and winks shooting my way. Axel threw them all a good glower that told them to back the fuck up or he will throw a few punches.

Javier stepped out from behind the firetruck. His eyes lighting up when he saw me. He sauntered over.

“Hey baby, here to see me? Can’t get enough of Javier?” He flashed me a panty dropping smirk. It has no effect on me but I know Javier. It works every time he meets a girl. All he needed to do was twinkle those green eyes and flash that smirk.

Axel pinned him with a warning glare. His hands tightening on my waist. Axel has become my Alpha male-possessive and demanding. I don’t mind it because it is always steamy in the bedroom and sometimes even out. The man has powerful stamina that is basically unquenchable when it comes to me.

I knocked Javier back with a retort that had him chuckling and the rest of the buddies near laughing. Axel grinned down at me and planted a kiss on my forehead. We continued for the next thirty minutes, bantering back and forth. Axel had to throw a few punches to Javier who was laughing harder each time he teased Axel.

Another woman stepped out from the station. She had on a white tank top and was rocking a pair of yellow work pants just like Axel. I have never seen her before. She must be the rookie that Axel was talking about. The one that has Javier throwing moods from left to right. She had long red hair that was tied into a ponytail. Her physique was toned which told me she worked out quite a lot. She tossed Javier an indifferent look before joining the circle and conversation.

After a while, Axel pulled me away and into the empty break room. He pushed me up against his locker and locked me with his body pressed against mine.

One hand on my waist and other cupping my cheek as he crushed his lips onto mine. I can feel his arousal pressing against my stomach. He groaned against my lips.

“Damn, baby, I can’t get enough of you. You got me thinking about all kinds of dirty thoughts.” He muttered.

I chuckled and snuck my hands underneath his shirt.

“What’s stopping you from taking me now?” I whispered.

“Well, we are at my workplace.” He retorted huskily. His breath hitching as I inched higher and higher.

“And?”

He smirked against my lips, ”Hermosa, you are so bad.”

I grinned when I saw his lips captured mine and his own hands sneaking underneath my jeans to cup me. Axel never fails to follow through when I needed him. He always leaves me satisfied and loved. He makes sure to shower me with words and encouragement. He has always been my pillar. His fingers made quick work and soon I was screaming out his name in the break room.

When I came down from my high, he was licking his fingers. Damn, he will be the death of me.

He crushed his lips on me and I could taste myself on his lips.

“I love you.” He said once he pulled back enough and we were breathing hard again.

My heart soared and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him close.

For what was suppose to be a piece of cake, turned my whole world completely around.

“I love you too.”

Author’s Note

Authors note:

I wrote this book for a number of reasons but one of the main one was to remind you all that… You are Beautiful

That you shouldn’t let others put you down. You are beautiful in your own ways. Be a fighter. Do what you want and what you believe is best for you.

It doesn’t matter what size you are. You are beautiful no matter what shape or form because true beauty is what is inside your heart. ❤