Summary

Judith hasn’t had an enjoyable holiday in years and this one isn’t shaping up to be much better. After being pushed into helping her mother plan her sister’s wedding, the wedding where her sister is marrying her ex-fiancé, Judith is struggling to find a way to survive. Just when she thinks she might break, in comes Luke, her ex’s step-father, with a plan to help her that may be just what she needed. Sometimes it’s in the quiet, unexpected moments that we truly find ourselves, but maybe Judith will find something more valuable than a sense of peace, but can she move past her insecurities and past experiences so she can embrace the unexpected gift she’s been given, or will her fear of the past repeating itself sabotage any chance she has of being happy?

Chapter 1

Judith

I swear, I’m one hundred percent done with the holidays and yet it’s only the day after Thanksgiving! It may sound dramatic, but let me tell you…spending Thanksgiving with my family while watching my sister, Beth, and my ex-fiancé, Nick, act like love sick idiots then watching as he proposed to her…after only being officially a couple for two months…after he cheated on me with her for five months…after we had only ended our relationship a week before he moved her into his apartment…yeah, needless to say, I’m not feeling the holidays this year.

As if that tragic tale isn’t bad enough, my sister didn’t want a long engagement, oh no! She wants to get married on Christmas Eve! As in, the Christmas Eve that’s only a few weeks away! I’m honestly wishing that my family wasn’t aware of my ‘works from home’ status because my mom has less than politely insisted that I help her with the wedding preparations. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are usually great…just…a little naïve sometimes. They think I should forgive her because she’s my sister and we ‘shouldn’t let some guy come between us’. I know, it’s ridiculous, yet I would normally be inclined to agree with them because I was raised to believe family is everything, but this isn’t just ‘some guy’…this is my ex-fiancé that my sister was screwing while I was still engaged to him!

I think one of the other factors in their need for me to forgive and move on is the fact that my ex, the cheating prick my sister is marrying, is their closest friend and neighbor, Luke’s, step-son. The worst part is that Luke is the only one on Thanksgiving who seemed to feel sympathy for my shit situation and he even helped me make my grand escape when it got to be too much. I know my parents’ don’t want there to be strain on their friendship just because Nick was a lying, cheating bastard, but they didn’t seem to notice how cold and stand-offish Luke already was toward Nick, which definitely didn’t help the tension level in the house any.

I won’t lie, Luke has been a rock for me through the whole ordeal with Nick and Beth, though all of our communication before then had been through emails and after, we gradually progressed to sending text messages. We’ve kept in touch for the last year through email and it all started with me reaching out to him for help planning a surprise party for Nick’s birthday last year, but I never let Nick know we talk…he wouldn’t have taken it well. He was always a jealous person, but now I’m realizing he was probably just projecting out of his own guilt…the bastard. Sure, Luke is a good looking guy, but it’s not like I ever let myself see anyone beyond Nick. Of course, I noticed Luke’s tall, muscular frame, his black hair that was styled in a somewhat messy crew cut and his piercing green eyes…I’m not blind after all…but even a god couldn’t lead me astray…too bad the same couldn’t be said for Nick.

Don’t worry, our messages have always been clean and pretty basic…you know, the typical one or two message check-ins and confirming plans for when we were coming down to visit my parents…at least until he reached out after finding out Nick was screwing Beth. That was the first time we had a real conversation, one that had emotions…messy, chaotic emotions, but emotions none-the-less. After that conversation, things shifted a little and our conversations became less cut and dry…less basic.

We started talking about our days, our hobbies, vacation plans. We’ve formed a kind of friendship, something I honestly never expected to find with him, but something I quickly realized I desperately needed. That’s why I can’t help feeling happy when I hear the vibration of my phone on my nightstand and see his name pop up with a new text message. I have no doubt he’s heard about the latest catastrophe in my life, a fact quickly proven when I unlock my screen and read his message.

Luke: I just left your mom and dad’s. They caught me up on the bullshit and I’m so sorry they’re dragging you into this. How are you holding up?

Me: I finished off my bottle of merlot and completed three open tickets for work…so I’m holding up the best I can. How are you?

Luke: I’m completely over the crap Nick and Beth are pulling. I must admit, I was a little surprised. Over dinner your mom said you’re coming down to help with the planning?

Me: Yeah, it was a surprise for me too. I’m really not looking forward to this shit show, but I’m hoping the time will fly by so I can just get through this and move the hell on with my life. I’m currently arguing with my mom about me getting a motel room because she doesn’t understand why I don’t want to stay there while Nick and Beth are there. As it is, even staying in a motel, I’ll be surviving off of an obscene amount of coffee and wine. If I stayed there, I’d have to resort to hard drugs and vodka, but even then I would probably end up killing someone. I still don’t get how they can’t see just how screwed up this all is. As much as I love them, this whole situation has made me lose so much respect for them.

Luke: Why don’t you stay at my place? I have two guest rooms and it’ll be close enough for you to do what you need to, but give you space away from all of them. You can even use my office for work if you need to. It’s a fair compromise and I’m sure it would be enough to get your mom off your back.

Me: I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be a little awkward? I mean, we talk through email and text, but aside from that, we’ve never really talked in person and Thanksgiving DOESN’T count! Besides, you’re my dad’s best friend. Wouldn’t that just be weird?

Luke: Would it be more or less awkward and weird than sleeping under the same roof as Nick and Beth?

Me: I’ll tell you what, I’ll think about it. Okay?

I know he’s right, but I’m right too. Wouldn’t it be weird for him to have his step-son’s ex-fiancé sleeping in his house? Wouldn’t it be weird for him to have his best friend’s single, adult daughter staying in his house with him? The single, adult daughter who’s fourteen years younger than him? What would my parents think? What would Nick think? Wait, why would I care what Nick thinks? God, I’m spiraling…but that’s when my phone vibrates again, but it’s not a text…it’s a phone call…

“Luke?”

“Hey, I know you’re probably sitting there overthinking all the reasons you shouldn’t take me up on my offer, but let me give you one reason you should…or maybe a few reasons. I just want you to hear me out, let me give you some food for thought before you make a decision.”

“Um…okay?”

“First reason, it doesn’t matter what any other person thinks about the situation. If you’re worrying about how it’ll look to Nick and Beth, you need to remember that they both betrayed you, so their opinions don’t matter. If you’re worried about what your parents will think, don’t. They’re choosing to ignore your feelings in all of this and are trying to force you into something that no one should have to go through. If you’re worried about it being awkward because you were engaged to Nick, you don’t need to be. He may be my step-son, but he’s never treated me like family and if it weren’t for his mom passing when he was still a minor, he would’ve cut ties with me ages ago.

“Second reason, it would save a lot of money and you wouldn’t have to drive back and forth. Also, anytime you need a break from their shit, you just have to walk twenty feet. Did I miss any worries or concerns?”

“I…no. Shit, you know what? You’re right. You’ve been there for me when everyone else has turned their backs on me, or smiled and acted like this whole situation isn’t completely screwed up. I know we don’t have an in person relationship, but you’re still the closest thing I have to a friend these days and I hope like hell you know how much I appreciate you. Alright…I’ll do it, but you do realize I’m supposed to be heading there tomorrow, right?”

“I know. I’ll have the room ready for you. So, tell me about your day, Judith.” So, I do. It’s so strange actually talking to him…hearing his voice and all, but it’s…nice. We talk for just over an hour about everything and yet nothing of importance then say our good nights so I can get enough sleep before I have to get up and make the four hour drive back to Brentwood in the morning.

Chapter 2

Luke

I spent my entire morning deep cleaning my house before Judith gets here. I have every single room cleaned, the guest room is ready for her and I even have lunch being delivered since she should be here anytime now and it’s already eleven thirty. I didn’t go to all this trouble because I’m nervous, but I’m definitely feeling unsettled. Judith was right when she said we don’t have an ‘in person’ relationship, but I blame my late wife, Nora, and her bastard of a son, Nick, for that. Nora and Nick shared one very unpleasant trait that I happen to despise…insane jealousy.

I’ve technically known Judith for longer than I’ve been in Nick’s life, but it wasn’t until he started dating her two years ago that I finally saw her as more than my best friend, Randy’s, little girl. She’s a beautiful woman with her long auburn hair, big grey eyes and petite curvy figure…which just makes it that much harder to believe that Nick could be foolish enough to cheat on her…and with her sister no less! God, that kid is a damn fool!

The food gets here at eleven forty and five minutes later, I see her all too familiar SUV pull up out front. I could play it cool, wait until she knocks to greet her, but instead, I find myself walking out the door and meeting her at her car. I help her carry her things in and show her to her room then let her know to meet me in the kitchen when she’s done getting settled so we can eat lunch before dealing with her parents, Nick and Beth. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t completely fallen apart with the shit her family has put her through.

“I don’t remember this place being so…clean.” Her teasing tone has me smiling instantly as she walks into the kitchen while I’m dishing up some of the pasta I ordered for her.

“With Nora and Nick here, it was hard to keep things clean, impossible really, and I honestly just gave up after a while. I eventually learned to suffer in silence.” She hums and I turn just in time to catch her nodding her head.

“I get that. Nick definitely isn’t a clean person. If anything, that’s one of the things I’ve reminded myself of to make it easier to get through the hard days. I no longer feel like an unpaid maid.” She gives me an adorable smirk then takes the plate from me as I hand it to her.

“Yeah, I don’t miss it either. So, how was the drive?” The question earns me a dramatic eye roll, but she throws in a beautiful smile too.

“It was boring as hell. I should’ve listened to an audio book or something instead of playing radio station roulette. How was your morning?” That’s one thing I like about Judith. No matter what we’re talking about, she never lets it become all about her. She’ll answer my questions, but then she always asks me questions as well. She always shows interest in hearing about me as much as I show interest in hearing about her. With Nora, every conversation was one sided because she only cared about herself.

“It wasn’t too bad. I tidied up the house and got my work out done then ordered lunch. Pretty damn boring, really.” She flashes me an amused smile before taking a bite of her pasta which is followed by a soft moan that I definitely wasn’t expecting.

“God, this is amazing! I really appreciate you getting lunch…and letting me stay here. It’s nice to know that, through all this shit, I at least have one person who thinks it’s all as insane and screwed up as I do.” I can’t help nodding in agreement. This whole situation and the way her parents have handled it is complete shit. I couldn’t believe it when Randy sat down and told me what the hell was going on. We’ve been friends since a little before I married Nora eight years ago and never once have I been disappointed or angry with him…until now. I had thought that maybe they would try to make up for their behavior on Thanksgiving, but things only got worse and I couldn’t stand watching Judith suffer through that hell, so I helped get her ass out of there. That was the first real face to face, non ‘adult talking to a kid’, interaction I had with her.

“Whatever happens over there, I’ve got your back, Judith.” That earns me another smile, but this time I can see the hurt that lies beneath the surface and I hate it…I hate that her own family has done this to her. Once we finish our lunch, we get ourselves ready and head over to her parents’ house next door to explain the arrangements for her stay. She tried telling me I didn’t have to go with her, but there’s no way in hell I’ll be letting her face this shit alone…which is why we’re both walking into Randy’s house together where we instantly gain the attention of Randy, Linda, Beth and Nick the second the door closes.

“Judith? I didn’t know you were here already. Where are your things?” I could let her answer, but the look Linda is giving her, like she’s ready to spark an argument less than two minutes after we arrived, it’s already pissing me off and we just got here!

“Actually, Linda, she’s staying in one of my guest rooms. I thought it would make things easier for everyone since things between everyone are still a little tense.” I don’t miss the cold glare Nick sends our way, or the judgmental stare from Beth, but it’s Randy’s nod of approval that gives me hope that not all of them are complete assholes…that maybe my best friend has a damn conscience.

“That’s probably for the best, really.” Randy’s agreement is quickly overshadowed by Linda’s irritated voice.

“That’s highly inappropriate, don’t you think? Having a girl who’s so much younger than you staying in your home…it’s going to give people the wrong idea!” I catch Judith’s eye roll out of the corner of my eye and I know there’s no stopping whatever she’s about to say, but I wouldn’t try to anyway. They need to hear her truth, to understand how this entire situation is affecting her. Hell, I think her parents’ behavior hurts her worse than the betrayal from both Nick and Beth. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with these people, but I hope like hell that whatever Judith is about to say will at least leave them feeling at least some kind of guilt, seeing as how they don’t seem to be feeling any right now.

“It’s no more inappropriate than supporting your child while she sleeps with a man who’s engaged to her own sister then encouraging them and supporting them as they get married while expecting the daughter who was completely betrayed by them to pretend it’s not totally fucked up and that she’s not being completely broken by all of the people she loved.” The only one out of the four of them that doesn’t look like she just insulted their ancestors is Randy, who actually has the decency to look remorseful, though it’s not nearly enough to make up for his part in all of this.

“You think this isn’t hard on all of us?! You think we aren’t embarrassed and ashamed of the way Beth behaved?! You act like you’re the only one who was hurt by this!” Linda’s questions, as well as her comment at the end, surprise me, but Judith is quick to answer them in a cold, angry tone that is still far less than they deserve. They deserve to feel the full fury of her anger and pain because they’ve played as much of a part in causing it as Nick did.

“No! I don’t think you’re embarrassed or ashamed! You know why? You don’t act embarrassed or ashamed! You’ve acted like this is the best damn thing to happen to this family! You’ve acted like you couldn’t be happier! Hell, you asked me to help plan the fucking wedding, mom! Who the hell does that?! You’re so worried about my sleeping arrangements being inappropriate, but you weren’t the least bit worried when Beth’s sleeping arrangements involved screwing my fiancé! You know what? I think we’re done here for now. I need some space and fresh air, otherwise I’m going to say something that you really won’t like.” Judith turns and marches her ass right back out the door and after giving all of them a disapproving glare and a shake of my head, I follow her.

“Come on, Judith. We’re going to go for a little drive.” I catch her just as she’s walking up the steps to my house and she only hesitates for a second before turning and following me to my truck that’s parked in the driveway. We both load up and I don’t waste any time getting her the hell away from everything. The drive to my favorite quiet place is about a thirty minute drive and she doesn’t even ask questions, not even as we leave the town limits. We reach the turn off and drive the last ten minutes to the river where I park in the clearing and cut the engine, not saying a word as I give her time to process, waiting for her to talk when she’s ready.

Chapter 3

Judith

I can’t believe I went off on my mom like that! I mean, I don’t regret it in the slightest, but I just can’t believe I finally said all of it! I went over there with every intention of keeping my head down and my mouth shut, but then she made that comment…saying that me staying with Luke would be inappropriate…I don’t know why, but it set me off. I don’t know why she feels that she has the right to lecture me about what’s appropriate and what’s not when she’s openly supporting and celebrating her oldest daughter screwing her youngest daughter’s fiancé, acting like it’s something she’s proud of instead of something to be ashamed of.

When I stormed out of the house, my mind was reeling from it all, but then Luke followed me and insisted on going for a drive. I guess I didn’t consider where he might take me, yet I wasn’t worried about it either. After how he stood up for me, I feel like I can trust him to take care of me…to not break me more than I already am.

“It’s beautiful out here.” I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it’s the truth. Even with all the trees bare and a light dusting of snow from the storm that barely touched this town a few days ago, it’s still beautiful.

“It is.” If it was anyone else, I would feel put off by his short response, but for some reason, I just know he’s being patient, waiting and letting me lead the conversation when I’m ready. It’s just like in our text messages. If he knows I have a lot on my mind, he gives me room to sort my thoughts and feelings then just waits for me to say what I need to. No pressure, no prying, just a calm acceptance and acknowledgement of my process.

“Do you think I was too harsh?” I don’t think I was, but for some reason, I just need to hear his opinion, the opinion of someone who has no reason to lie to me. I know Luke won’t sugarcoat anything and I know he won’t try to manipulate me. I respect that about him, so damn much.

“Not at all. I’m actually damn proud of you, Judith. They may not have liked what you had to say, but they needed to hear it. How do you feel after getting it all out there?” I take a minute to really think about my answer and can’t help the smile that takes over as I offer my answer rather easily.

“I feel…better. It’s not like I’m stupid enough to believe it changes anything, but it felt good to lay it all out for them, to stop hiding everything away.” He hums and nods his head but stays quiet for a few minutes, almost like he’s letting me soak it all in while he properly constructs his response.

“Does what your mom said bother you?” I don’t even hesitate to shake my head because I know he means her comment about me staying with him. Had I not already felt angry when she said it, it might’ve made me stop to think before answering her, but even then, I think her behavior through this whole mess would’ve made it pretty impossible to see my situation with Luke as inappropriate. I refuse to let her make me feel bad for staying with the only person who’s been in my corner through one of the most difficult moments of my life so far.

“Screw her opinion. I don’t think she’s in any position to be scolding me for my choices. Hell, even if something was happening between us, she really has no room to criticize me.” He gives me an amused smirk, but nods his agreement.

“I think that’s fair.” He opens his mouth to continue his thought, but is cut off by the sound of my text alert on my phone. I slide it out of my pocket, but I already know who it is, though I wasn’t expecting the message she sent.

Mom: I’m very disappointed in your behavior and can’t believe you’re staying with Luke! Do you even care about how your father and I feel about this situation you’ve created? I think it might be best if you don’t help with the wedding planning after all. I won’t let you cause unnecessary stress for us all just because you can’t be an adult about things.

“Well, that’s…unexpected. I guess this means I have some free time. Hell, maybe I should just head back home and come back for the wedding and Christmas…that’s if they even want me here for them.” Luke actually looks…disappointed?

“Or, you can stay. You already planned to be here, so why not stay here and treat it like a vacation? You can go with me to get a tree, help decorate and we can go to the Christmas festival. You won’t be forced to interact with them or help plan their ridiculous wedding shit. If they decide they don’t want to pull their heads out of their asses by Christmas, you and I can celebrate it together. You have to know that there’s not a chance in hell that I’ll be letting you spend Christmas alone, Judith. I refuse to even consider it.” He makes his offer so casually and I can’t help being intrigued. I haven’t properly celebrated the holidays since I left home four years ago. I haven’t decorated and I really do miss the town’s Christmas festival, one of the few holiday events in this town that I genuinely enjoyed. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

“Alright, let’s do it. Wait, what about your work?” I’d be lying if I said I even know what the hell he does for work, but I know he’s not quite forty which means he’s obviously not retired yet.

“I do most of my work from home. I handle drawing up plans, putting together estimates and securing permits for my construction company. I might have to go in to handle things now and then, but for the most part, I handle everything from the comfort of my home office.” I have to admit, I’m actually impressed. How the hell did I never know he owns his own construction company?!

“I feel like such an asshole. I never once asked what you do for work, yet you always told me about your day.” I wince as I realize my error, but he simply smiles and waves off my worry like it’s nothing.

“It’s not a big deal, Judith. Hell, the only reason I know what you do for work is your dad, so really, don’t sweat it.” Okay, so that makes me feel a little better.

“How long have you owned a construction company? I don’t remember you working from home when I was younger.” He chuckles softly and shakes his head.

“I’ve worked construction since I was nineteen, but didn’t open my own company until five years ago. I barely had everything up and running before Nora passed away.” I only vaguely remember Nora, having only met her a few times during family dinners and that was before I started dating Nick.

“That’s pretty cool that you knew what you wanted and made it happen.” His smile, god it’s a beautiful sight and it’s so damn contagious too!

“I should’ve done it sooner, but with Nora…she didn’t really think I could do it and after a while, I started to think she was right.” What the hell is wrong with Nick’s family?!

“Well, you proved her wrong and I’m damn glad you did.” We spend another forty minutes talking by the river before he drives us back to his house and for the first time since everything went to shit, I feel like maybe things are actually going to be okay.

I woke up an hour and a half ago and after getting in a three mile run on Luke’s treadmill, I took a shower and got a pot of coffee started. Today we’ve decided to go to the tree lot to pick out a Christmas tree and for the first time in years, I’m looking forward to Christmas preparations. I’ve just poured my first cup of coffee when I hear Luke’s heavy footsteps coming down the hall, so I quickly pour a second cup and hand it to him just as he steps into the kitchen.

“Good morning.” He takes the cup and flashes me an adorable, tired smile.

“Good morning and thank you for the coffee. You been up long?” I nod my head as I take my first drink of my coffee, savoring the bitter liquid.

“Been up close to two hours. I already got a three mile run in and took a shower.” He clearly wasn’t expecting me to have accomplished so much so early, but a little known fact about me, I have a little issue…insomnia. I rarely, if ever, sleep for more than three hours a night.

“You’re on a roll. So, you still good with going to get a tree? The lot opens in less than an hour.” I nod, feeling more than a little excited for our little adventure.

“I’m definitely good with it. I assume you have decorations and ornaments already?” I catch his smile before he can hide it behind his coffee cup and then he nods his head while offering me a verbal response as well.

“I do. I haven’t put any of them up in a while…since Nora…” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but the way he so casually mentions Nora’s name without any hint of sadness baffles me…though if she was anything like Nick, maybe it shouldn’t.

“Alright, let me go get dressed and I’ll be ready to go in fifteen.” I mumble an ‘okay’ then watch as he leaves the kitchen and heads right back to his bedroom.

Chapter 4

Luke

We reached the tree lot just as they opened and I can’t even fight off my smile when I see the excitement practically rolling off of Judith. I had actually wondered if the whole ‘decorating for Christmas’ thing had been a bad idea, especially since I haven’t had any holiday spirit since Nora passed away, since well before she passed away actually, but if something as simple as putting up a tree and throwing up some decorations will keep that smile on Judith’s face, I’ll decorate the whole damn house from top to bottom.

“Oh! What about this one?!” This is actually the fifth tree she’s asked my opinion on and, while the others were good, this one really is perfect.

“I think we’ve got a winner.” She clasps her hands together and presses them to her chest as she stares at the tree and I just know she’s trying to picture it in the house, fully decorated and lit up.

“Yeah, I think we do.” Without waiting for a single second, I flag down one of the workers to have them get it loaded up while I lead her up to the booth by the gate to pay. The second we reach the booth, I notice her staring at the bare wreaths and don’t hesitate to have them add one to the bill which has her smile growing impossibly wider.

“Alright, time to get this beautiful guy home and get to work!” She practically skips out to the truck with the wreath in her hands, holding onto it like it’s something precious. The drive home is filled with her telling me about Christmas with her family as a child, though a lot of it I witnessed after becoming friends with her dad, and I share a few stories of my own as we compare traditions, both detailing what ones we liked and the ones we absolutely hated.

This woman, she’s nothing like I would’ve expected. Sure, I’ve known her family for a long time and we did family dinners quite often, but Judith had always been quiet, almost shy, so we never really got to know each other. By the time she was old enough to participate in adult conversations, I was with Nora and she would’ve lost her shit if I even thought about talking to another woman, even if that woman was still a minor. The more time I spend around her now though, the more I wonder what the hell Nick was thinking when he chose another woman over her!

“It’s absolutely perfect!” It took us several hours to get the tree up, decorated and to get the rest of the house decorated too, but we did it. I even watched as she used some of the ornaments and tinsel to decorate the wreath before we hung it on the front door. While I really didn’t care for the decorations and other festive stuff with Nora, it seems so different with Judith. Maybe it’s the way her face lights up with pure joy every time her eyes land on the tree, or the way I catch her adjusting and tweaking decorations until they’re just right, but she does so with a bright smile. This is what the holidays are meant to feel like and yet it took celebrating them with my step-son’s ex-fiancé to realize that.

“You’re right, it’s perfect.” We’re both staring at the tree, again, while sipping on hot chocolate that she insisted on making after we both froze our asses off putting up lights outside and it all feels so…comfortable…so easy.

“Okay, so the Christmas Festival is tomorrow and the sign at the tree lot said it starts at eleven, beginning with the craft fair. The big stuff doesn’t start until four though and then the tree lighting is at six.” Her tone when she mentions the craft fair makes it seem like she’s not interested, but her eyes give her away. I don’t understand why she would act like she doesn’t care to explore it when it’s clear that she wants to.

“We can hit up the craft fair and see if they have some more decorations we can add to the house.” It’s a random excuse, sure, but when her lips curl into that beautiful smile, I’m glad I threw it out there.

“Okay, sounds good. I…I didn’t think you’d be into the whole craft fair thing.” Shit, I get it now. She was trying to seem disinterested so I wouldn’t feel obligated to go. I have no doubt that’s Nick’s influence…the little prick.

“Even if it had been something I wasn’t into, the right company can make even the most mundane things enjoyable, Judith. If there’s something you want to do, we’ll do it, but you have to let me know because I can’t read minds. Okay?” She nods without hesitation and I don’t miss the slight blush that blooms on her pale cheeks.

“Yeah, okay.” We end up spending the evening eating pizza while watching Christmas movies until we both are barely able to keep our eyes open. I can’t help smiling as we both make our way through the house, turning off the lights and cleaning everything up before we head to bed for the night.

It’s official…Judith either doesn’t sleep, or she barely sleeps because we went to bed around midnight and now here it is, only three thirty in the morning, and she’s downstairs making coffee when I come down to get a bottle of water. I make sure I’m quiet, giving myself a moment to just watch her before I finally make my presence known. She’s staring out the kitchen window and I can’t help noticing the amount of exposed milky flesh that her short sleep shorts and the spaghetti strap camisole do nothing to hide.

“Having trouble sleeping?” If she’s surprised that I’m here, talking to her at three thirty in the morning, she doesn’t let it show. She simply turns to face me, already wearing a beautiful smile.

“This is pretty much my norm. I usually get three hours of sleep at most. The joys of insomnia. Why are you awake so early, mister?” I don’t want to tell her I was only up to get something to drink, I don’t want her to push me to go back to bed because I don’t want to leave her down here alone. I can’t explain why I feel that way, but I do, so I throw out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Want to watch a movie?” Her smile is enough to chase the remnants of sleep away and I easily return it as I watch her pour us both a cup of coffee. We get settled in on the couch with some random Halmark Christmas movie playing and the lights from the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner. I don’t know when it happens, but, one second, we’re watching the movie and the next, her head is resting on my shoulder as she sleeps peacefully. I carefully set my coffee cup on the end table then shift myself so my back is leaning against the armrest and her head is on my chest then I easily fall back asleep.

I didn’t plan to fall asleep on the couch with her when I first came downstairs, or to sleep for four more hours, but waking up to find Judith still sleeping with her head on my chest and her soft breaths coming out in heated puffs that I can feel right through my t-shirt…it was…unexpected. I won’t even lie, I’ve been laying here for nearly fifteen minutes just…watching her sleep. I shouldn’t be so comfortable with her like this, god knows I shouldn’t, but there’s just something about her…something…different.

“Shit…I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t plan to turn you into a living pillow.” Her sleepy voice is adorable, but then she catches me by surprise when she stretches and her arm brushes right against my lap. It’s innocent enough, but it feels anything but innocent until she sits up.

“No need to apologize. Do you really have insomnia?” She nods her head, her auburn hair has several strands falling out of the messy bun she had it in when she fell asleep. Her stormy grey eyes lock with mine and she offers me a soft smile.

“Formally diagnosed at the young age of nineteen. Hell, this is the most sleep I’ve gotten in a single night since…shit…junior year of high school, I think?” It’s hard to believe she’s always running off of minimal sleep because every time I’ve seen her, she looks like she’s energetic and lively.

“Well, feel free to use me as a pillow any time if it helps you get some damn sleep. Have they ever tried giving you medication for it?” She nods again and lets out a soft sigh.

“Yeah, pretty much everything available. I’ve had prescriptions, over the counter, holistic…nothing helped. If nothing, my lack of sleep has made it easier to get more work done.” She shrugs, acting as if it’s a good thing that she’s working her ass off when she should be asleep.

“Well, how about we have some coffee and breakfast and then we can get ready to head out.”

Chapter 5

Judith

What…the…hell…am I doing?! Staying with Luke is one thing, but I fell asleep on him! God, he must’ve felt so damn uncomfortable! As if that’s not bad enough, I didn’t expect him to go to the kitchen at three thirty in the morning, so I hadn’t even bothered to change into something less revealing! Shit…I’m making things awkward, aren’t I? Well, at least he seems completely normal while we work together to make breakfast, even while we sit down next to each other to eat. Okay, so maybe I’m the one being awkward.

We got to the convention center where the craft fair is being held almost fifteen minutes ago and, thankfully, the tension I felt from this morning has vanished…okay, So maybe I was the only one who was tense, but still, it’s better now. We’ve been laughing and discussing each booth like it’s normal…like this is just a thing we do. I know I only had one other boyfriend before I started dating Nick, but I’ve never had a guy just…be there…be present while doing something as simple as walking around a damn craft fair. Yes, I know that sounds pathetic.

“What about this? Do you think we could find a place for it?” I turn and can’t even bite back my laughter when I see him gesturing to a giant, red, metal rooster statue with a Santa hat sitting on its head.

“Um, wow, yeah? You know what, yes! On the front porch, right hand side!” He doesn’t even hesitate to pull out his wallet, remove his debit card and hand it to the vendor with a smile on his face. Since we got to this booth, my attention has been drawn to a red, metal fabricated sign that reads “Merry Christmas!’ with little silver metal snowflakes scattered around the edges. It’s so simple, yet…so beautiful. Once I see the vendor return Luke’s card to his hand and hear him agree to have someone load the metal rooster into his truck while we keep looking around, we move on to the next booth.

“Judith?” God, and as if my day didn’t already feel awkward as hell, let’s throw my sister, Beth, into the mix!

“Hi, Beth.” I know my tone is flat, probably a little chilly, but she can’t really be expecting me to be happy to see her.

“You’re, um, hanging out with Luke?” I don’t know if she meant it as a question, but as I look at Luke, observing him as he tries to give me space without looking like he’s watching me while I damn well know he is, I can’t bring myself to feel bothered by her accusatory tone.

“Yeah, I am. We did some decorating and are looking for things to add. After this, we’ll be heading to the community potluck and then we’re going to the Christmas tree lighting.” I deliver each word with a casual, calm tone while flashing Luke a smile when he looks up that he quickly returns.

“I can’t believe you’re shacking up with a guy that’s fourteen years older than you…and it’s our dad’s best friend! God, Judith, I never thought you were so…desperate.” And that would be the version of my sister who had no trouble betraying me.

“Desperate? No…desperate was you screwing my fiancé, but something Luke has helped me realize is that you did me a favor. Being with Nick, I was never going to be happy and clearly he makes you happy…ish…so maybe you two were just meant to be together.” I shrug it off, refusing to let her see my amused smile when her face flushes red, a trait she got from our mother that only rears its ugly head when they’re angry.

“God, please don’t tell me you’re sleeping with him!” Um…okay…how did she get to that conclusion?

“Wow, you’re just connecting dots that don’t exist, but I’ll bite. How is what I do or who I sleep with any of your business? How does it affect you? It’s not like I’m screwing your fiancé, so I don’t see how my personal life is any of your business, Beth.” I don’t miss the way her eyes widen, likely assuming this is me admitting to some kind of guilt she likely feels I should be harboring over a situation that doesn’t even exist.

“He’s our dad’s best friend! Hell, he’s Nick’s step-dad! That’s just…wrong…and selfish! Do you even care about how that’ll make everyone else feel?!” Okay, so I might roll my eyes at her dramatics, but she’s literally blowing up over something that isn’t even happening!

“Well, the way I see it, I could care less how you, Nick, mom or dad feel about anything I do right now. I never even said I was screwing Luke, that’s all you assuming shit. Who I am or am not sleeping with is quite literally none of your business, or anyone else’s for that matter. It’s not like I’m some pathetic, shallow and self-centered bitch who goes around sleeping with people who are already taken, unlike some people I know.” I’m honestly to the point of being bored by this conversation and, thankfully, this is when Luke decides to step in…but it just so happens to be when Nick is walking up too.

“Beth, I think you need to worry about your own problems and stop worrying about what’s going on in Judith’s life. You didn’t seem to care how she was doing or how she was feeling while you were screwing her fiancé, so why should she care if you’re bothered by her actions now? Honestly, you should just go before the rest of the town finds out about how you were screwing your sister’s fiancé for five months while also helping her plan their damn wedding.” That gets the attention of quite a few people walking by, but the only reaction I focus on is Nick’s. He looks pissed and I think it’s hilarious. He and Beth made this mess and yet they both seem so bothered by the fact that they’re being stuck dealing with the aftermath.

“Judith, don’t you think it’s a little pathetic and childish to try to get with my step-dad just because you’re mad at me?” Nick’s tone is malicious and he doesn’t even try to hide it.

“No, not really. The way I look at it, you were the inferior version of the man I was hoping to spend my life with. The way I see it, I’d be lucky to end up with someone who’s half the man Luke is because I sure the hell deserve better than you. You were selfish, narcissistic, manipulative and then you added lying and cheating to your list of less than stellar traits. You had me believing you were some amazing catch when, in reality, you never could measure up to the man I needed you to be. I’m glad you and Beth found each other because you both are so much alike. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Luke and I have some more wandering to do.” Luke, the amazing man he is, offers me his arm and the second I slide mine into it, he leads me to the next booth.

“So…damn…proud of you.” I can’t even explain why it means so much to me that he’s proud, but it really does. Once we’ve made it to the end of the vendor booths, we’ve bought at least a dozen more items and Luke even bought me a knitted purple beanie with a matching scarf that I fell in love with instantly. We decide to run everything back to his house before the rest of the event kicks off at four. By the time we’ve made it back to the town square, it’s packed. We end up having to park a few blocks away, but neither of us mind.

“Ah, there’s hot chocolate, or we can get coffee a few stalls down.” Luke points out the first booth where they’re selling hot chocolate with an entire station set up with optional toppings like candy cane, marshmallows, whipped cream and cinnamon.

“I think hot chocolate first, coffee later.” Luke seems thoroughly pleased with my choice and leads the way to the hot chocolate vendor with a smile on his face. Once we have our drinks, we leisurely stroll through the square, laughing at the woodchopping competition contestants and taking a moment to enjoy watching the children compete to build the best snow man. This is everything I’ve been missing over the last four years and I’m honestly feeling a little emotional about it, which sucks.

“Hey, what are you spiraling over?” I can’t hold back my chuckle because it honestly amazes me that he seems to have a sixth sense for my mood shifts!

“Just thinking about how much I missed this…and that turned into thinking about why I’ve missed four years of it which turned into thinking about the four years I wasted on someone who wasn’t worth it.” He gently grabs my arm and guides me to a small nook between two stalls then crouches until he’s eye level with me.

“Hey, let’s focus on making up for lost time then. We can’t do anything about the past, but we can make enough memories to make up for some of the ones you lost out on making.” Ugh, he’s right…and could his response have been more perfect?!

“That’s a pretty tall order there. You really think we can make enough memories to make up for four years of shitty Christmases?” He gives me that gorgeous smile and offers a gently shrug.

“Well, I’m sure the hell willing to try. Are you?” Yeah, there’s no way I can refuse that challenge!

“Alright, let’s go.” Instead of offering me his arm, Luke grabs my hand and pulls me back out into the crowds as we make our way around the square. It’s fifteen minutes till six and we’ve spent the last nearly two hours laughing and smiling so much my stomach and the muscles in my face hurt like hell, but I just can’t stop! Luke leads me up onto the balcony above the florist shop then runs down to get us both a coffee before the tree lighting kicks off.

“I almost thought I wouldn’t make it back up here in time.” I turn to the sound of his voice and smile when he walks up and hands me a cup then steps up to the railing beside me as we wait for the countdown to begin.

Chapter 6

Luke

Standing here beside Judith with the lights below shimmering in her eyes, I’m having a really hard time focusing on anything else. Seeing her eyes light up every time she smiles at the people below us and the excitement she couldn’t even hide if she tried…it’s so damn amazing. I look down just in time to see the people gathering around the giant Christmas tree, but I catch Judith’s body shiver slightly from the cold breeze.

Without thinking, I move to stand behind her and wrap my arms around her to try to warm her up, but I’m honestly surprised when she doesn’t tense up, but instead, she leans back into me. The crowd below begins the countdown and once they hit one, the giant tree lights up with blue and white lights that make the garland sparkle and shimmer. While my attention should be solely on the sight below, my attention is drawn to Judith when I feel her breath catch the second the lights came on then I feel the heavy breath she releases as she takes it all in.

“This is perfect.” Her breathy declaration has me holding her a little tighter while I nod my agreement, not that she can see it.

“It really is. You have enough caffeine in you for one more little adventure?” She tilts her head to look up at me with one brow quirked and a slow smile sliding into place.

“I think I might.” I unwrap my arms from around her and take her hand then lead her down to the square. We walk to the far side where the park is located and I know the second she’s figured out exactly what I have planned. As soon as she sees the horse drawn carriage, her entire face lights up and her hand squeezes mine.

“We’re going for a carriage ride?!” I chuckle as I nod my confirmation. I swear, I’m going to strain a muscle from smiling so damn much, but if I do, I don’t think I can bring myself to regret it. I help her onto the carriage then climb in and settle beside her, quickly covering us both with the thick fleece blanket that’s sitting on the seat across from us and then we’re off. Watching her wide eyes as they take in everything, flitting around from the left to the right, it has a permanent smile on my face that easily matches the one that seems to have taken up residence on hers.

“So, I’ve been thinking…what other things did you miss doing for Christmas?” She leans into me a little and my arm instantly wraps around her shoulders.

“I miss baking cookies and one of my favorite traditions was making my grandma’s famous pumpkin cinnamon rolls for Christmas breakfast. I miss watching Christmas movies every evening for the week before Christmas and I really miss driving around at night on Christmas Eve, looking at the different Christmas lights and drinking hot chocolate.” I can see how much this means to her and it just makes me more determined to make sure she gets to do everything she enjoys just so this Christmas is special for her.

“Sounds like we need to do some shopping then. We can make a list of everything we need for your baking and for Christmas dinner, then we’ll head to the store tomorrow afternoon.” She snuggles further into my side and nods her head.

“Sounds perfect. What kind of things were tradition for your family’s Christmas dinners? What things do you miss from them?” We spend the rest of the carriage ride with me telling her about the things I miss most about my family’s traditions and by the time the carriage stops back at the park, we have a mental list of what we want to make for our Christmas dinner. I’m honestly not too surprised she doesn’t plan to try suffering through the dinner at her parents’ place and after the run in with Beth and Nick today, I’m glad she’s prioritizing herself for once because her own family sure the hell doesn’t.

“Alright, what do you say we head home and get the new decorations put up and then we can maybe make some hot chocolate and watch a Christmas movie?” We’re walking through the square and I watch her lips curl into a soft smile, but then she surprises me when she grabs my hand and laces her fingers with mine.

“Sounds like the perfect end to a perfect day.” We make the drive home in a peaceful silence with me trying to focus on the road, but I don’t miss the way her face lights up more with each decorated house we pass. When we pull up to the house, I roll my eyes when I see Randy, Linda, Nick and Beth standing outside, looking like they’re having a pretty heated discussion. While Linda, Nick and Beth send angry glares our way, Randy starts walking over and the man almost looks…happy? We both get out of the truck and meet him by the porch, both of us waiting to hear what he has to say.

“Hi, dad.” Judith’s voice is cautious and so is the look she’s giving him, but Randy simply smiles wider.

“Hi, sweetheart. I hear you had yourself a fun day.” She offers a hesitant nod, but I can tell she’s still waiting for him to lash out at her like the others already have. I don’t mean to, but I hate seeing her uncomfortable, so I wrap my arm around her shoulder and Randy’s face damn near lights up.

“We did. We went to the craft fair, watched the events in the square, saw the tree lighting and then Luke took me on a carriage ride.” With each word, her tension eases and by the end, she’s smiling and Randy’s expression softens.

“I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself, sweetheart. You deserve to have a good time while you’re here. I’m glad Luke’s taking good care of you.” She looks up at me, that smile only growing brighter as she nods.

“He is. Dad, I know this whole thing is a mess, but I don’t think I’m going to be over for Christmas dinner. Luke and I have been talking and I think we’re just going to have dinner at his place.” She delivers the news so easily and without a hint of doubt or regret, but Randy’s response is not one either of us were expecting.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Judith. I want you to know…all I want is for you to be happy, sweetheart. Nick…he was never going to be the one to bring you happiness. While I don’t agree with what they did, I’m glad you’re rid of that worthless bastard. Who knows, maybe the right man for you might be right under your nose, but if you had stayed with Nick, you would never have had the chance to find him.” I don’t miss the way his eyes dart to mine for only a fraction of a second, but I don’t know how I feel about what he’s silently suggesting.

“Who knows, maybe you’re right. Well, if things get too crazy over there for you, I’m sure Luke would agree that you’re welcome to come see us so you can get a breather.” I nod my agreement then remove my arm from her when he steps forward to hug her. Once they say their goodbyes, we head inside and Judith jumps right into making hot chocolate while I get to work removing all the decorations we bought at the craft fair from their bags and laying them out on the dining table.

“So, that giant red rooster…” She leaves her sentence hanging, but her playful tone and the amused smile on her face when I turn to look at her have me chuckling.

“Well, it’s unique and festive.” I shrug at the end, feeling the purchase was thoroughly justified.

“Oh, it’s definitely unique. I’m thinking it would be a perfect year round decoration. You can dress him up to fit each holiday and I doubt you’ll find another like him.” I watch as her eyes scan over the items on the table until they stop, catching on the red metal ‘Merry Christmas’ sign with the little silver snowflakes. She carefully grabs it off the table and traces one of the snowflakes with her finger before looking up at me with teary eyes.

“You bought it?” Her breathy voice has my brow furrowing. I had noticed her looking at it and saw the way her eyes lit up and she couldn’t seem to look away, so I figured she should have it, but I didn’t expect it to mean so much to her.

“Yeah? I could tell you liked it and I figured that, with how you were looking at it, you probably already knew the perfect place for it.” She nods her head and a slow smile take form.

“I do actually.” She takes the sign and heads to the living room with me following behind her, curious to see where she plans to place the sign that put tears in her eyes. I smile when I see her stretching, trying to hang it above the fireplace, then I hurry over to help her.

“Here, let me. You step back and tell me when it’s where you want it.” I grab one of the craft hooks and get to work adjusting the position until she’s happy with where it’s at. When I take a step back, I can’t argue that it looks perfect. We spend another hour putting the rest of the decorations up then settle onto the couch just after ten to watch a movie that she falls asleep ten minutes into. I try to stay awake, to just enjoy the moment, but it doesn’t take me long to lose the fight.

Chapter 7

Judith

Well, this is becoming a whole thing now, isn’t it? This is twice now that I’ve woken up snuggled up to Luke like it’s the most natural thing in the world and, try as I might, I just don’t hate it. If I’m being honest with myself, I actually really like it. Hell, then there’s the fact that it’s the second night in a row where I actually slept! Waking up this morning, I feel well rested and seeing all the Christmas decorations, I feel happy…happier than I’ve been in too damn long.

After skillfully slithering off the couch without waking Luke, I hurry upstairs and take a shower then get dressed before heading down to start a pot of coffee. By the time I’m pulling the coffee cups out of the cupboard, I hear his footsteps behind me followed by the sound of the stool at the breakfast bar scraping the floor.

“How did you sleep?” I try to keep my voice casual as I pour our coffee then turn and slide his cup to him, which earns me a sleepy smile from him.

“Thank you, Judith. I slept alright. How about you?” I lean on the counter and take a tentative sip of the scalding hot coffee in my cup while I think about my answer, but it honestly comes quite easily.

“Well, for the second night in a row, I slept really good. I need to get some work done today, but I thought I could maybe make us dinner?” He nods his head and gives me one of those heart-stopping smiles of his.

“How about we make dinner together? I actually have some things to do for work too, I have to run down to the office for a few, but I should be back by no later than four.” I easily agree and after we both finish our coffee, Luke heads to his room to get ready while I pour another cup then grab my laptop and get comfortable on the couch. I’ve managed to close out two trouble tickets for one of our clients in the three hours since Luke’s been gone and I’m just about to start the third when there’s a knock on the door. I set my laptop on the coffee table then get up and make my way to the door, opening it only to furrow my brow at the prick on the other side.

“Hey, Judith. I was hoping we could sit down and talk for a minute.” I’m fairly certain my rigid posture and the way I step further into the small opening in the door tells him my answer, but in case it didn’t, I offer a verbal response as well.

“I think we’re past the point of talking, don’t you?” I wrap my left arm around my waist while my right hand holds tightly to the door.

“Look, I know the way things ended was really shitty, but I think you and I both know that you’re just using Luke to try to get to me. I’ll admit, I was pretty bothered at first, but…let’s face it…he’s not your type and trying to pretend you two are together is pretty pathetic. That behavior is beneath you, Judith.” Oh, this prick! How did I put up with this bastard for so long?! Was he really this bad the whole time I was with him?!

“Wow, you really think quite highly of yourself, don’t you? Do you really believe that I would waste my time and energy on something so ridiculous as trying to make you jealous? I mean…seriously? Do you honestly think you’re worth that kind of effort?” I see Luke’s truck pull in, but Nick’s already responding and seems completely oblivious.

“You act like you can do so much better than me, but you can’t, Judith. Do you think Luke would be able to take care of you and make you happy? He couldn’t even make my mom happy, Judith!” Luke’s almost to the porch when his steps falter and I catch the flash of hurt in his eyes and I…am…done!

“He already has made me happy and while you may not have realized it, he’s been taking care of me in all the ways that matter! When you were busy leaving me for my sister, Luke was there…he talked to me, let me vent and he supported me. When my own family tried to force me to help plan your wedding, Luke gave me peace and comfort. He gave me a lifeline when my own family chose to stand by and watch me drown. So, if that’s the reason you came over here…to show that you’re still a self-centered piece of shit, consider your point made. I’d like for you to leave now.” He steps closer, but then I feel instant relief when I see Luke step up behind him.

“I think Judith’s right. You need to leave.” Luke steps around Nick and takes his place beside me, pushing the door open and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“He’ll never be man enough for you and soon you’re going to realize that. I just hope, for your sake, that you don’t realize it too late.” I feel Luke’s entire body tense up, so I wrap my arm around his waist and lock my angry gaze on Nick.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Nick. You were the one who could never be man enough for me. Hell, you weren’t even a man at all! Luke is a kind, compassionate, understanding man who’s honestly too damn good for me. I think we’ve said all there is to say, Nick, so why don’t you run along before Beth starts growing suspicious of your absence.” I can tell he wants to say something, but he wisely chooses to turn around and leave. Luke and I head back inside and once the door’s closed, I turn and notice the troubled look on his face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” His green eyes lock with mine and his mouth opens and closes twice before he finally manages to speak.

“I swear, I tried to make his mother happy…” Oh god, no…nope…nuh-uh…not going to let him tear himself up over Nick and his bullshit comments!

“I know you did, Luke. We may not have been close back then, but I saw how you were with her when you all came to my parents’ place for dinner and I saw how poorly she treated you…we all did. If she was unhappy, that was on her, not you. There are some people who just can’t let themselves be happy, or sometimes they’re only happy when they’re making others miserable. You’re an amazing man, Luke. Don’t let the petty words of a lying, cheating prick make you doubt yourself.” I see his muscles slowly relaxing until he finally releases a heavy breath.

“What about you? Are you okay?” I can tell he’s still bothered by Nick’s stupid crap, so I do the only thing I can think of…I walk up and hug him. It only takes him seconds to wrap his arms around me and I can feel the rest of his tension fade.

“I’m okay and the only reason I’m okay right now I because of you, Luke. You’re the only person who stood by me, listened to me and just let me feel whatever I felt without making me feel guilty for it. Hell, you held me together by letting me fall apart, by just being you. You gave me a way out of suffering through hell for the entire holiday. You made this the best Christmas I’ve had in as long as I can remember! Does that sound like a man incapable of making someone happy to you?” His arms pull me tighter and his chest shakes with soft laughter.

“Alright, you’ve made your point. Nick’s a prick and neither of us should listen to him. So we’re good, right?” When we finally pull away from each other, I miss his warmth and touch immediately and I’m not sure I’m ready to dive into sorting out that whole mess.

“Okay, why don’t I go take a shower and then we can figure out what we’re making for dinner?” I nod my agreement then head to the kitchen to start another pot of coffee while he gets cleaned up and changed. By the time he comes back down, I have a cup of coffee waiting for him and am looking through the ingredients in the fridge, trying to figure out what we can make.

“So, we have everything we need to make pasta carbonara, or we can make eggs, bacon and hashbrowns…” I jolt from the feeling of his hand gently grabbing my elbow to turn me and when my eyes meet his green ones, I feel my breath catch in my throat when I see the smile on his handsome face.

“I have a better idea. Go put on some warm clothes and meet me back down here.”

Chapter 8

Luke

I was beyond angry when I pulled up and saw Nick standing on my porch, but it only got worse when I saw the anger on Judith’s face. I don’t get why they all can’t just leave her the hell alone! His comment about me not being able to make his mom happy hit pretty hard because when things started going downhill in my marriage to Nora, I had assumed it was because she wasn’t happy being with me. I thought maybe I wasn’t doing enough, not giving her enough, or maybe that I just wasn’t enough. My thoughts didn’t have much time to spiral before Judith jumped in and helped ground me.

When I went upstairs to shower, I came up with an idea…something to hopefully make up for the shit Nick pulled so her day will end on a high note. That’s why we’re driving up to one of the new project sites here in town, a place situated on a hill with a perfect view of the town. We picked up hot sandwiches and coffee on our way up and just like when I took her to the river, she doesn’t once question where I’m taking her. She’s spent the entire drive just taking in the view out the window with a beautiful smile on her face.

“Okay, so this place is far from finished, but you can’t beat the view.” I back up the truck close enough to the drop off for her to be able to see the town below when we get out and her reaction doesn’t disappoint.

“Holy hell, Luke! This is beautiful! Oh, and the house! I can already tell it’s going to be amazing! Is this one of your projects?” Her enthusiasm and excitement have me smiling as I nod.

“It is. Old man Howel had me design this place for him about two years ago and he got everything sorted about eight or so months ago which had us breaking ground just under two months later. We’ve ran into a few snags with weather and permits, but we’ve made good progress considering. We’ve got most of it done, enough to keep the weather out, but still have a lot to finish up inside.” She shrugs her shoulders and gives me a sweet smile.

“I think it looks great already. I can only imagine how beautiful it’ll be when it’s finished…and then he’ll have this view…” She lets her words trail off as her eyes resettle on the view of the town’s lights. I grab the bag with our food and the drink carrier out of the truck then drop the tailgate and set everything down.

“I figured dinner away from the bullshit is just what we needed.” She nods in agreement as I hand her cup of coffee to her then take my own.

“I think your ability to read the situation and find the most amazing and out of the box solution is impressive. I also think I’m pretty damn lucky to have someone like you in my life. In case I haven’t said it yet, thank you…for everything.” Her grey eyes lock with mine showing me the same sincerity her voice already conveyed.

“You’re welcome, Judith. I’m glad I was able to be there for you, but if I’m being honest, spending time with you has been amazing. I can safely say that this is the best Christmas I’ve had in as long as I can remember.” I don’t miss the way her cheeks flush, or the shy smile that appears before she can hide it behind her cup. We both settle onto the tailgate and eat our sandwiches while enjoying the view, not leaving until it finally becomes too cold for us to brave the outdoors almost two hours after we arrived.

Something has changed. I felt it the minute we climbed back into the truck and I spent the whole drive home trying to pinpoint the source, yet I’m no closer to an answer when we pull into the driveway. We head inside and go our separate ways to change our clothes with the agreement that we’ll meet back in the living room when we’re done. I’m the first to reach the living room, so I get a fire going then head to the kitchen to get to work making hot chocolate.

“I swear, if you keep spoiling me, I’m never going to leave.” Her voice is playful, but what she said…I find I don’t mind the idea of it and that is a shocking revelation that has me pausing for a moment.

“You know you can stay as long as you want to, Judith.” She hums softly and when I glance at her over my shoulder, her cheeks are flushed pink.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll get tired of having me around sooner or later, but I appreciate you letting me stay with you, Luke. It really means a lot to me.” God, the pricks in her life have really done a number on her!

“Not going to happen, Judith. I find that I enjoy spoiling you because I enjoy seeing you smile. I meant what I said. You’re welcome here anytime and you can stay for as long as you want. I’ll never get tired of having you around.” I hear her shaky sigh followed by the soft sound of her bare feet on the hardwood floor as she moves closer.

“I don’t think I can get tired of having you around either, Luke.” I hadn’t noticed that she managed to move right beside me until she leans against my arm and I automatically wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer while my other hand stirs the milk in the pan.

“What made you fall for Nora? I mean, the version of her that I remember can’t be the same one that got you to fall for and marry her, right?” I really hadn’t expected the question, but the answer comes easily.

“I had actually thought about that a lot during the year before she passed. When I first met Nora, she was very different from the version of her that you remember. She was carefree, happy, full of life. It all changed pretty fast after we got married and I think it was honestly just a carefully constructed character she was playing to get what she wanted. I really did try to make things work with her, but…I realize now that there was nothing I could do.” She turns her body toward me and wraps her arms around my waist, an action that shouldn’t seem so natural, but it does.

“I’m sorry, Luke. You deserve to have someone who’ll love you, support you, encourage you and who prioritizes your happiness as much as they do their own. You never deserved to be treated the way she treated you. I know it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead, but I never liked her.” I can’t help but laugh as I wrap my other arm around her, abandoning the milk for a moment to fully return her embrace.

“You know, as it turns out, I never really liked her either. How about you, though? You deserve to be loved, supported, encouraged and happy too. So, what made you fall for Nick when he clearly wasn’t the guy to give you what you deserved?” She draws in a deep breath and slowly steps away from me, leaving me immediately missing having her in my arms…something I probably shouldn’t be feeling.

“I guess he learned some tricks from his mom. He was really sweet and fun to be around when I met him and continued to be that way until after he proposed. I noticed the little changes, but kept making up excuses for him, trying to find ways and reasons to forgive him. It started with him being late for our dates, not returning calls and texts for several hours and little things like that, but then he ghosted me for two whole days…and then he missed our anniversary dinner.

“It was somewhere around that point when I realized I was fighting a losing battle. It was the day after he failed to show up for that dinner that I went over to his apartment, I just wanted to sit him down and talk so we could figure out what the hell we needed to do to fix things. You already know what I found, though.” As soon as her arms wrap around her waist, I turn off the stove and pull her right back into my arms, wishing like hell that I could take this pain away from her.

“I’m so sorry, Judith.” I feel relief when her arms slip back around my waist, squeezing me tightly as her heavy, heated breath filters through my shirt when she sighs.

“It’s okay. I guess…I don’t know. At first I was hurt, but then I realized he was a piece of shit and with that realization, I got mad. My most recent issue is the painful realization that even a piece of shit didn’t want me, so that must mean there’s something wrong with me.” I don’t know how it happens…maybe it’s a need to stop her from telling me how she’s wasn’t good enough…maybe it was a need to prove to her that she’s wrong…but before I can process a coherent thought, I pull back, gently grab her face and press my lips to hers. A few seconds pass where her body is tense and unresponsive, but then it happens…her muscles relax, she leans into me and her arms pull me closer as her lips move with mine.

Chapter 9

Judith

Okay, so this is…unexpected. I’m not sure how the hell it happened, but I’m officially kissing Luke and…I don’t even feel bad! He’s so gentle…so attentive…so…amazing! Don’t even get me started on how his rough hands feel as they hold my face like I’m something worth holding onto. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t push and by the time I feel his tongue glide across my bottom lip, I feel like I might spontaneously combust right here in his kitchen. I part my lips for him…of course I do…and the second he deepens the kiss, I’m done for.

My legs are jell-o and my heart is beating a mile a minute by the time he breaks our kiss and rests his forehead against mine. Neither of us speak, we just give ourselves a minute to calm down. When my eyes finally open, I find him already staring at me, his green eyes watching me with a nervous caution, almost like he’s expecting me to freak out. Would that be an appropriate response right now? Well, if it is, then I’m feeling very inappropriate at the moment.

“Judith…” I can already tell he’s about to ruin it. He’s probably planning to apologize or, even worse yet, tell me it was a mistake, so I do the only thing I can to keep him from doing either…I stretch up on my toes and kiss him again. I have to admit, I’m pretty thrilled when he doesn’t hesitate to pull me tight against him and, this time, he’s not going for slow and gentle…he’s going for hot and passionate…and he succeeds! Unlike the end of our first kiss, this one ends with both of us smiling and there’s not a sign of worry, regret or rejection in sight.

“Well, I think that definitely deserves some hot chocolate.” My heart skips a beat when he kisses my forehead before he turns back to the pan he had been stirring when I came into the kitchen…the one he abandoned to hold me…to kiss me.

“I think I can manage that. So, we watching movies tonight?” He turns the burner on the stove back on to finish heating the milk and I immediately slip in beside him, smiling when he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer.

“You mean are we going to fall asleep ten minutes into a movie…yeah, I’m in.” He kisses the top of my head while chuckling softly.

“I have to admit, doesn’t sound like a bad way to end the day.” We get the chocolate mixed into the milk then pour it into two cups and take it to the living room. We both manage to finish our hot chocolate and I make it around halfway into the movie before sleep takes over.

I wake to the sound of a phone ringing somewhere nearby, but it’s not my ringtone. Just as I’m about to sit up, Luke’s arms pull me tight against his chest and his lips find my forehead for another of those stomach fluttering kisses. He lets out a delightful groan as he stretches out only to freeze when the phone starts ringing again.

“Shit, that’s mine.” I sit up and watch as he gets up and rushes into the kitchen, grabbing his phone off the counter to answer it. I can’t hear what’s being said because he’s speaking in a low voice. Unsure of what to do, I decide to head upstairs to shower and get changed while he handles his call. I get through my shower and climb out only to realize that I didn’t bring my clothes in. With my hair wrapped in a towel and another towel wrapped around my body, I hurry back into my bedroom and start digging through my suitcase for something to wear.

“Hey, that was Kyle from work. They need me to come in and help with a permit issue for one of the job sites. I should be…” his voice is coming through the door then, suddenly, the door opens and his words trail off as his green eyes widen and his lips part.

“Will you be home in time for dinner?” I try to keep a casual tone, but I know he caught how breathy my voice is.

“Um…yeah, it should only take me an hour, two at most. God, Judith…you’re so damn beautiful.” I didn’t even realize I started moving until he meets me halfway, one hand gently cradling my cheek while the other comes to rest on my hip. He leans in and gives me the softest, sweetest kiss then rests his forehead on mine.

“You should hurry so you can get your ass back here.” He rolls his eyes and groans before giving me one last kiss and stepping away.

“Two hours tops. Pick out what you want for dinner and we’ll make it together.” I can tell how much he really doesn’t want to go, but he reluctantly leaves my room and just as I’m getting dressed, I hear the front door open and close. I spend the first hour he’s gone making a list of everything I need to pick up to make cookies and the pumpkin cinnamon rolls then pull out everything we need to make chicken parmesan for dinner. When he still isn’t back by noon, I sit down and pull up one of the trouble tickets for one of the clients and get to work sorting out the issue for them, quickly losing track of time as I always do and not even noticing when someone walks through the door.

“Hey, sorry it took so long. The city inspector was being a pain in the ass. What are you working on?” I sit back and lift my gaze from the screen on my laptop to meet his.

“I thought I could get one of these tickets cleared, but it turns out I picked the one ticket thats for an issue that resulted from extreme stupidity, so I just messaged their onsite IT guy to let him know what he needs to do, but from his most recent response…I’m kind of thinking he might be the problem.” He shrugs off his jacket, hangs it on the back of the chair next to me then steps up behind me to wrap his arms around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head.

“Sounds like you could use a break.” I don’t even hesitate to close the laptop and tilt my head back, leaning it into the crook of his neck.

“I won’t argue with that. So, what are the plans for the rest of the day? I took something out for dinner, but we won’t need to start it for another three hours.” His arms slide away and before I can even whimper in protest, he slides my chair out, takes my hands and pulls me to my feet.

“I thought of a few things…they just kind of came to me right after I left.” His playful tone does nothing to hide the hunger in his eyes, but I know it only mirrors my own.

“Well, I’d love to hear all about your ideas.” He doesn’t waste a second, his lips are on mine and his arms are holding me tightly against him until I’m a breathless, panting mess.

“I don’t want to rush things, but the whole time I was out, all I could think about was kissing you.” I honestly have no idea how we went from barely knowing each other to making out in his dining room in a matter of days and maybe I should be more cautious and not jump into something like this so quickly, but I can’t fight it either. I want this, even if I didn’t know it two days ago.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that thinking about kissing you might have had something to do with why I was getting so frustrated with that ticket.” My admission earns me a heart stopping smile that leaves me feeling weak in the knees.

“Well, I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who was distracted today.” I slip my arms around his waist and tilt my head up so I can see those beautiful green eyes of his.

“What if I want to rush things?” God, I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but I refuse to take it back!

“Judith, I promise that I want nothing more than to worship you like the goddess you are, but I don’t want you to end up regretting things between us.” I shake my head before he even finishes speaking, refusing to accept his words because there’s no way I’ll regret this.

“Well, let me give you one reason that won’t happen…or maybe a few reasons. First of all, there’s nothing about this that I regret. Second thing, I get that we just started working on getting to know each other in person, but something I realized today, we know each other…we have for a while now. Even when we were just emails and text messages, you knew me better than anyone…supported and cared for me more than anyone else. My third and last argument…I want this. I want to see where this leads, but I can guarantee that the one place it won’t lead is to regret.”

Chapter 10

Luke

She ruined me…completely wrecked me in the best way. I’m still not entirely sure how we made it to my room, but we left a trail of clothes that starts at the bottom of the stairs and stops at the foot of my bed. Just as I promised, I worshiped her…thoroughly. Now, laying here with her in my arms as we both come down from the high of our passionate moment, I see not a single hint of regret in her beautiful grey eyes. When she tilts her head up and those eyes lock into mine as a bright smile takes form, all I see is happiness.

“Were you serious about me staying as long as I want?” Her grey eyes are studying me, probably trying to find any sign of hesitation, but she’s not going to find any.

“I did. I like having you here, so if you want to stay longer, you won’t hear me complain.” That smile…that heart-stopping, soul-searing smile would be enough to bring a man to his knees…and she’s wearing it for me. I can’t think of a single time that Nora smiled at me like this, or a time she ever made me feel like this. Being with Judith, just spending time with her, it makes me feel alive.

“I think…I might try to see if I can find a place here…move back home. My stay in the city, it was supposed to be temporary, but I ended up staying after college because of him. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since everything happened, but I think I was just afraid to take the leap.” I feel my heart clench at the thought of having her stay here permanently.

“Well, you can always just stay here. I’m not trying to rush anything, or make you feel pressured into agreeing and you can even have the guest room if you want…if that would make you feel more comfortable.” God, I’m so out of my depth here. I feel like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I can’t be too bothered by it when her smile lights up her beautiful face.

“What if I want to stay right here?” Her playfully challenge is complete with an arc of her brow.

“I’d be more than okay with that, Judith. So, you want to make dinner?” This woman…this amazing woman, she gets up then grabs my t-shirt off the floor and pulls it on, the damn thing looking like a dress on her, then skips out of the room with me scrambling to throw on a pair of sweatpants before rushing after her. Cooking dinner with her is so strangely comfortable and we spend almost as much time stealing kisses and finding reasons to touch each other as we do actually cooking…but dinner turned out perfect anyway.

“I think I’m going to call around tomorrow and get a storage unit rented and then I’ll see about getting a moving company to handle everything at my apartment.” I’ve just started the coffee maker when she casually delivers her statement and makes my body freeze for a second before I manage to turn around and look at her, finding her smiling softly at me from the other side of the breakfast bar.

“So, you’re really doing it? Are you sure you won’t get tired of me?” Her brow furrows as she slowly steps around the counter and makes her way over to me then wraps her arms around my waist, her head tilted so those stunning grey eyes lock with mine.

“You do know that’s not going to happen, right?” I lean down and press my lips to hers, leaving a soft kiss there before returning my gaze to hers.

“Ignore me, Judith. I’m honestly a little stuck in my head right now.” I’ve never had such a hard time voicing my thoughts and feelings before and I think she can tell, not that it surprises me.

“Okay, elaborate, please.” She doesn’t look annoyed, just genuinely curious. I know it would be easier to avoid the complexities of what I’m feeling, but I just know Judith will get it, so I tell her the best that I can.

“I…I’m not really good at all this. I don’t want to screw things up, but I also don’t know how the hell to do this or what you’re wanting from me. I don’t want to hope for something more than what you’re willing to give.” I can see her thoughtful expression take hold and her eyes are so expressive that they make it easy to see she’s not bothered by what I said, or how I worded it.

“Okay, let’s start with something simple so we can untangle that whole mess. What do you want to come from this? Are you looking for something casual? A holiday fling? Or are you looking for something more long-term?” She says it all so easily, like she’s not asking me to lay myself bare and leave myself vulnerable. The strange thing is that being vulnerable in front of her isn’t as terrifying as I expected it to be.

“I don’t think I can handle casual, Judith. I want to see where this goes, but if you don’t, it’s okay. We can step back if you aren’t wanting to explore this as a long-term relationship.” I feel my heart drop when I feel her arms releasing their hold on me, but then she places her hands on my cheeks and offers me that damn smile that makes my heart melt.

“Well, I don’t do casual. You’re not a holiday fling for me, Luke. I think it’s safe to say that neither of us know what the hell we’re doing, but we can figure it out…together. I’m all in if you are. I have no doubt we’ll have things come up that we need to work on, but I’m willing to put in the effort if you are.” She’s amazing, absolutely perfect.

The truth is, since Nora died, I only tried to date once, a woman named Carey, and it turned into a friends with benefits situation because there was no spark between us, at least there never was for me. On my end, it was all about satisfying my needs and, in the beginning, she was on board with that too. Unfortunately, she ended up thinking there was more to it and I had no choice but to end things between us. The shitty part is that she recently became one of our clients and she’s the one I was called in to help a few days after Judith got here and with us deciding to actually try to make this work, I know I’m going to have to tell her about it sooner rather than later. If the situation with Carey is anything to go off, yeah, we’ll definitely have to work at this…but I want to work at it…with Judith.

“I’m all in, Judith.”

It’s been a week since Judith and I laid out where we stand with what’s happening between us and it’s been perfect. We spend all our time together when I’m home and the few times I’ve had to go to the office, we text back and forth. Even when she’s working on tickets for her job, she sits in the living room with me, cuddled on the couch while she works and I either watch tv or read. It’s only four days till Christmas Eve, four days until the wedding, and it’s also the annual community Christmas dinner.

The entire time Judith has been here, I’ve seen her in leggings, sleep shorts or jeans, which is probably why I’m so damn shocked when she comes downstairs wearing a red velvet ankle length dress with a low cut front that shows a healthy amount of her cleavage, has an open back and a slit up the right side that stops mid thigh. Paired with her black suede stilettos, her hair that’s pulled into a twisted up do and her perfectly applied makeup that looks natural while drawing attention to her big grey eyes, she’s stunning.

“Judith, you look…god…how the hell did I get so lucky?” Her cheeks flush and she gives me an adorably shy smile as her eyes scan over me from foot to head. I’m wearing a pair of black slacks, a dark grey button down with the sleeves rolled up, my polished black dress shoes with my black hair freshly trimmed and slicked back and my face shaved.

“I think I’m pretty damn lucky myself. Now, we should get going before I just decide to drag you back upstairs instead.” There’s no stopping my laughter, though I’d honestly be on board with that plan. I offer her my arm and lead her out of the house and help her into my truck, but all I can think about is getting her home so we can ravage each other. The drive to city hall, the location this dinner is hosted at every year, goes by quickly, but the entire mood of the evening shifts when we see her entire family walking in as we pull up with Carey walking in right behind them…this is going to be an interesting night.

Chapter 11

Judith

I guess it should be surprising to me that my parents, Beth and Nick showed up, but it somehow kind of is. I guess I had maybe hoped they would be too busy with wedding stuff to make it tonight, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to let them ruin this night for me, even if them being here does make the thought of dragging Luke home to jump him sound more appealing than it already did.

“Hey, you good?” I look up at Luke and smile, not even needing to fake it when I see the soft, concerned look he’s giving me.

“Yeah, everything’s perfect.” I take Luke’s arm as soon as he offers it and let him lead the way inside where we find the hall filled with people already that are standing around talking while some stand in line to get their pictures taken in front of the clearly professionally decorated tree.

Luke leads me to the back of the line and I smile at the thought of this being our first picture together. It takes only minutes for us to make it to the front of the line where the photographer takes two pictures, one of Luke standing behind me with his arms around my waist and my hands resting on his and another with us kissing…which was certainly no hardship for me. Once we’re done, he leads me into the main hall where the dinner will take place and we find a seat at one of the tables in the back.

“Don’t look now, but your mom and dad are coming over.” Luke’s voice is soft, but the warning doesn’t bring up the emotions I would’ve expected it to and Luke doesn’t remove his arm from around my waist like I had assumed he would. If anything, he holds me tighter.

“I can’t believe the two of you have the nerve to show up here, flaunting your disgusting relationship in front of the entire town! Have you no shame, Judith?! He’s fourteen years older than you!” My mom’s whisper shout is light on the whisper and a little too heavy on the shout, but her opinion doesn’t bother me.

“I don’t know why you’re trying to make it sound like this is some forbidden romance situation, mom. I’m an adult for heaven’s sake. Also, you do realize that your behavior now is drawing a lot of unnecessary attention to a situation that has nothing to do with you, right? No one so much as gave us a lingering glance until you stormed over here with your misplaced anger and unnecessary judgment.” Luke’s arm gently squeezes me, offering his silent support while letting me handle the situation. It’s not that he won’t stand up for me…for us…but it’s because he knows I don’t need him to.

“You’re sleeping with a man who’s fourteen years older than you who happens to be your father’s best friend and the step-father of your former fiancé!” I roll my eyes, but decide that if she wants to lay it all out for the masses, we’re going to lay it all out.

“Yeah, I am. So, let’s look at some other facts, since you seem so intent on shaming me for my behavior. I think everyone here deserves the whole story so they can develop their opinions based on the whole truth, not just your version of it. First off, that former fiancé you mentioned, he’s a lying cheating bastard who was cheating on me with my own sister. Second of all, you chose to support their affair and then demanded that I help plan their wedding only months after I called off our engagement. I think you should reevaluate your moral compass because it’s clearly not working.” I can hear the soft murmurs from the people in the room who just got one hell of a free show, but I keep my gaze fixed on the woman who currently looks nothing like the mother I remember from my childhood. Had she always been so cold and cruel?

“Don’t come crying to me when this all blows up in your face, Judith.” She turns and storms off with Nick and Beth following behind her, but my dad stays behind, a soft smile forming the second the others are out of sight.

“You look happy, Judith, you both do. I’m happy for the two of you. Don’t let her get to you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.” I fight back my tears and manage to offer a shaky smile.

“Thanks, dad. I love you.” I barely get the words out before my mom is beckoning him over like a damn dog. He mouths ‘I love you too’ then gives a small wave before going over to join them.

“Well, I guess that’s one way to break the news to everyone.” Luke’s tone is playful and amused, which draws a soft laugh out of me as I nod in agreement.

“Yeah, well, I don’t care who knows, but I am glad they know everything, not just her twisted version of it. I’m sorry if that wasn’t how you wanted people to find out, or if I embarrassed you.” He presses his lips to my temple and gives me a tender kiss that eases my worry.

“I’m not upset or embarrassed, but I am damn proud of you.” We manage to make it through the dinner with no further drama and even have several people come up to wish us a Merry Christmas and a few even comment on how ridiculous my mom’s behavior was. Things are going great until I make a trip wo the women’s restroom where I’m followed by a tall, thin woman with perfect blonde hair, hazel eyes and a sharp, calculating smile on her heavily makeup covered face.

“So, how long have you and Luke been together?” It sounds like a harmless question, but I can hear the cold undertone in her voice.

“Not long. I just got back a little over a week ago.” She nods, but the smirk she gives me has my body tensing.

“That’s strange. Luke’s never mentioned you, or that he was seeing anyone. In fact, I’ve been with him several times over the last two weeks and let me tell you, our activities certainly didn’t suggest he’s in a relationship. Oh, my name’s Casey, by the way. I’m Lukes, how do you say it…friend with benefits?” Of course, I know I probably shouldn’t let what she’s saying get to me, but when I think about it, there have been five times since I arrived where Luke had to leave for the office and was gone for hours. Part of me is telling me to trust him, that he wouldn’t do this to me, but then there’s the part of me that Nick broke…the part that tells me it’s possible.

“Interesting. He’s never once mentioned you either. Well, have a good evening. I need to use the restroom then return to my date.” I lock myself in one of the stalls and give myself a minute to clear my head before using the restroom, washing my hands and heading back out to the hall. By the time I reach the archway to the main hall, there’s music playing and several couples are dancing.

I carefully weave my way through the crowd, but then my eyes catch on a familiar figure…or rather two familiar figures on the dancefloor. My heart clenches and my breath gets caught in my throat when I see Luke on the dancefloor with the woman from the bathroom. He isn’t looking at her the way he looks at me, but she’s still pressing her body tightly to his with her arms around his neck as they talk and sway to the music. I’m trying to talk myself down, to convince myself this isn’t what it looks like, but then…she kisses him.

My body moves before my mind can even catch up and before I know it, I’m walking out the door to city hall and am making my way down the sidewalk. Luke’s house is only five blocks away, so I push myself to speed up, even though the five inch heels are making it a much more difficult feat. It takes around fifteen minutes for me to reach his porch, grab the spare key out of the fake rock and let myself in. The mature and responsible side of me is encouraging me to stay and talk to Luke, to hear him out…but then there’s the other side…the side that remembers the pain and heartbreak when I caught Nick and Beth.

Something my situation with Nick taught me is that when my fight or flight instincts kick in, flight will always win. Before I can actually reach a conscious decision, I’m upstairs, packing my suitcase. It takes ten minutes to pack everything and less than four to have it loaded into my SUV. I know I’m being a coward…I understand and accept that fact, but I’m not going to just up and disappear without a word…I’m just not that kind of person. I type out a text to him from where I sit in my car while still parked in front of his house, hit send then start the car and pull onto the street.

Chapter 12

Luke

I knew something would happen the minute we showed up and saw Judith’s family and Casey walking in, but after the ordeal with Linda, I thought we would be done for the night. I should’ve known better. Judith had left for the bathroom a little over ten minutes before Casey approached me and asked me to dance with her then she said she just wanted to talk. Yes, I know I’m an idiot and I knew it before I even said yes.

I was already tense before we even reached the dancefloor, but it only got worse the second she plastered herself to me like a parasite. She told me she missed me, that she wanted us to go back to how we were, but I told her it wasn’t going to happen because I was seeing someone and I was happy with them…then she kissed me. I’ll admit, it took me a second to push her off of me, but I was genuinely shocked that she would be that pathetic and brazen after I declared myself unavailable!

I left Casey on the dancefloor and went in search of Judith, assuming she had gotten caught up talking with one of the other people here, but I couldn’t find her. I don’t even know how long she had been gone or how long I looked for her, but just as I pulled my phone out to try calling her, I saw it…a text message.

Judith: This was a mistake. Clearly you’re more capable of ‘doing casual’ than you claimed, seeing as how you’ve been casually screwing Casey with no issue. You both looked great together tonight, so perhaps it’s best we just cut ties now because unlike you, I can’t do casual and I refuse to be just another woman in your rotation. I’ve been there, I’ve done that and, if I’m being honest with myself here, I think that I deserve better than that. Don’t worry, by the time you get home, I’ll already be out of your way. Thank you for letting me stay with you and Merry Christmas.

I dial her number immediately, but the call goes straight to voicemail…same with the next five calls I try to make to her. I feel like I can’t breathe as I make my way to my truck, climb in and make my way home at speeds that are far from legal. I know she won’t be there when I pull up, but a foolish part of me hopes she will. As soon as I turn onto my road, I can tell my worst fear has become reality…she’s gone.

It’s Christmas Eve and I couldn’t hate this holiday more if I tried. I’ve tried calling, texting and even emailing Judith countless times since the community dinner from hell, but she hasn’t answered a single one. Randy came by an hour ago to make sure I’m still going to the wedding and while I want to tell him no…I should tell him no…I’m also hoping Judith will be there.

I put on my black slacks, a white button down, a dark green tie that almost matches my eyes and my black dress shoes then hop in my truck and drive the six blocks to the church where the wedding will be taking place. I’ll admit it, my heart begins racing when I see Judith’s SUV parked as far from the entrance as she can get, but more surprisingly is the fact that I can see her sitting in the driver’s seat when I pull up beside her. Her head is tilted back against the headrest and her eyes are closed, but then I notice an important detail…her doors are unlocked. I don’t let myself think about what I’m doing when I climb out of my truck and rush to her passenger door, pull it open and climb in.

“I know what you saw and I know you’re hurt, but please…just let me say what I need to and then if you want me to leave, I will.” I look up and find her staring at me with her eyes already glistening with tears, but the second she nods, I jump into explaining before she can change her mind.

“Casey and I were having a casual hook up relationship, but it ended before you ever came down. I knew I couldn’t have a real relationship with her, so the minute it was clear that she was developing feelings, I called it off. I haven’t touched her for months, almost three actually. I have met with her three times since you got here, but it was for work and nothing more. I had several contractors with me who can verify that for you because not once was I alone with her.

“I should’ve told you, but at first, I didn’t see a reason to since you and I were just friends, but the minute things changed, I shouldn’t have waited to tell you. I swear, the minute I saw her walking into city hall, I planned to tell you after we got home that night, but I know now that I shouldn’t have waited. I didn’t kiss her, Judith. I didn’t even want to dance with her. I honestly only agreed so I could talk to her and make it clear that I was with someone and she needed to keep things professional…but then she kissed me.” I don’t even care that my desperation is weaved into every word because I am desperate right now.

“She cornered me in the women’s restroom and started spewing shit about you two screwing every time you said you were going to the office to work pretty much. With what she said and what I saw…it just…clicked. It felt like Nick and Beth all over again. I wanted to stay and to talk to you, but I was afraid to hear what you would say. I don’t think I could handle hearing that she was telling the truth…but if you had said she wasn’t, then I’d have to wonder if you were just lying to me.” She’s barely started speaking when she loses the battle with her tears and by the end, I’ve shed more than a few of my own.

“I’m so sorry, Judith. I swear to you that there’s no one else in my life but you. I would never do that to you. I know things between us started in a much less than conventional way and I know you’re still recovering from the shit Nick put you through, but I’m not like him. Yes, I screwed up by not telling you sooner that one of my clients is a woman I used to have a purely physical relationship with, but I haven’t been with her since months before you came down. I still should’ve told you, but I promise that anything she said about me being around her for anything beyond my job is a damn lie.” It’s taking every ounce of my self control to keep from touching her right now and it only becomes harder when she takes a deep, shaky breath and locks her grey eyes with mine.

“Please don’t make me regret this.” Her eyes are pleading with me and it breaks my damn heart while her words have the damn organ threatening to beat right out of my chest.

“I don’t want you to regret anything, not when it comes to us, Judith. I’m going to need you to clarify something for me though…are you saying you’re coming home?” She grabs a tissue from the center console and carefully wipes her tears away then gives me a soft, cautious smile.

“Let’s start with surviving this awful wedding then we can discuss it over some hot chocolate.” I hop out of her car and rush over to her door, open it and pull her into my arms, needing to feel her body against mine.

“This wedding is going to be a damn disaster, but I’ve got you. Let’s go get this over with so we can get to work focusing on us.” She looks up at me and her smile is now that bright smile I love so damn much.

“Sounds good to me.”

Waking up with Judith in my arms is something I’ll never grow tired of. I can’t help but smile as I think back on yesterday’s chaos. The wedding, as Judith predicted, was a disaster. Beth announced at the reception that she’s pregnant, but then all hell broke loose when some guy showed up and announced he and Beth had been sleeping together for the last year and professed his love for her. Yeah, if her mother wasn’t embarrassed before, she sure the hell is now. As for Judith and me, we went home when the chaos ensued and spent the night talking through everything…then we made love…twice.

“Good morning and Merry Christmas.” Her sleepy voice and sweet smile melt me instantly and have me smiling right back at her.

“Merry Christmas, Judith. So, what do you want to do today?” The mischievous glint in her eye makes her plans clear, but if it hadn’t, her sitting up and swinging her leg over me so she’s straddling me certainly would have.

“I’m thinking a repeat of last night before we have to start on dinner.” I let out a groan as she rocks her hips against me, but there’s no hiding my smile.

“Sounds like a damn good plan to me.” She leans down and kisses me, but I feel her smile against my lips.

“Best…Christmas…ever.”

Epilogue

Epilogue – Judith

It’s been a year since Luke changed my life, turning my whole world upside down in the best possible way. We officially moved me in with him the week after Christmas and by New Years, we were settled into our new life together. I’ve always known that relationships take work, but with Luke, everything seems so easy. After our little situation involving Casey last year, we’ve had no other issues. We communicate, we express our feelings openly and we don’t shy away from the messy, difficult topics.

Things with my mother still haven’t improved, but there is a new development there. Less than two weeks after Christmas, my dad left her and within two months, they were officially divorced. He now lives in a small house a block away and has dinner with us once a week. Beth and Nick are a whole other mess I was more than happy to not be involved in. Nick stuck it out until Beth was far enough along for them to do a paternity test, which is when they found out that he was not the baby’s father. He filed for divorce the day they received the results.

Speaking of babies, Luke and I found out we’re expecting four months ago…on his thirty nineth birthday. We were both thrilled, of course, but now that I’m walking around looking like I’m smuggling a damn watermelon under my shirt, the excitement has turned into discomfort and exhaustion. Yes, I’m thrilled to be having a baby with him, but I’d be lying if I said I can’t wait for the day when I’ll be able to see my feet while standing again.

“Your dad should be here in an hour.” Luke has been rubbing my back while we lay curled up in bed for almost fifteen minutes now, but I don’t want him to stop.

“Yeah, I guess that means I should get up and take a shower then, huh?” His chest vibrated beneath me as he chuckles softly.

“I was thinking I could give you your present first.” I sit up, looking at him with wide eyes and not bothering to hide my excitement.

“I think I’d be okay with that.” He doesn’t bother hiding his amusement as he gets up and heads into the closet only to emerge with his hands behind his back. I scoot to the edge of the bed and watch him, waiting to see what the hell he’s hiding. I wasn’t prepared…when he drops to one knee in front of me, I feel my breath catch and my heart skips a beat as he pulls the small black velvet box out from behind him and opens it to reveal a perfect and simple princess cut diamond ring.

“Judith, I’ve faced many difficult things in my life, but loving you has always been so easy. I wasn’t looking for love, but you snuck your way in without me even realizing it until I was already too far gone. I know we’re kind of doing this backwards, but I figure our situation has been anything but normal from the very start, so that means that this is normal…for us. I’ve had a whole year of seeing what life with you is like and now I’m asking you to agree to a lifetime with me because there’s no way in hell I can ever go back to living a life without you in it. Judith, will you marry me?” I’m not afraid to admit it, I’m full on ugly crying right now and yet, Luke is still looking at me like I’ve hung the moon and stars for him.

“Yes…god, yes!” I watch as he slides the ring onto my trembling finger before he gives me a kiss that’s enough to make my mind stall out and my toes curl. It’s hard to believe that our relationship bloomed during the worst storm of my life, but I guess it just goes to show that sometimes you have to whether the storm to find the sun.