Part-31

Becker’s POV…

“Where is she? Where’s Greya?” I call out to Ari, who’s already walking toward the parking lot.

I was such an asshole today. I need to apologize.

She stayed through the entire game , for me. She saw me angry, benched, falling apart, and still came over just to say the one thing I needed to hear.

She stayed for me.

Even after I stormed out on her earlier.

I was scared — still am. She told me she loved every part of me, and I couldn’t believe her. Love has always meant pain in my world. My mother showed her love by leaving; Jack shows his by breaking me down. So how could I believe Greya meant what she said?

But she stayed. While everyone else watched me crumble, she stayed.

Maybe she does feel for me. Maybe I owe it to her — to us — to try harder.

“Ari!” I finally catch up to her near her car.

“Greya went home,” she says before I can even ask again. “Chase is having some issues and she needed to get back.”

My chest tightens. “Is he okay? What happened?”

“He’s fine,” Ari assures me. “He’s just been having trouble sleeping. She’s taking him to the doctor tomorrow. Don’t expect her at school.”

“Should I go over? Maybe she needs help.”

“That’s not a good idea,” Ari says, her tone clipped. “If Chase is sleeping and you wake him, it’ll be a nightmare.”

She crosses her arms, giving me a look that says I know what you did.

“Look, Becker,” she continues. “Whatever happened between you two obviously messed with your heads. I’m glad she got through to you during the game, but right now she needs people who’ll take care of her, not complicate things. If you care about her, give her space tonight. After Chase’s appointment, then you can talk.”

I nod silently, watching her get into her car and drive away. Then I get into mine and start the slow, quiet drive home. No music — just the sound of my thoughts beating against the silence.

As much as I want to see her, Ari’s right. If Chase isn’t sleeping, that means Greya isn’t either. She’s been taking care of everyone for so long that she’s forgotten she needs care too. I want to be that person for her — the one she can lean on for once.

When I get home, the house is dark. Jack isn’t here. Alec texted earlier saying he’s spending the night at Hayden’s.

For a moment, I almost relax. But silence in this house never lasts long.

I shower, hoping it’ll help, but the heat just sharpens my thoughts. Greya’s face won’t leave my mind — the way she looked at me when she said she loved everything about me. I didn’t deserve that look. I don’t deserve her.

When I step out, towel around my waist, I slip in my AirPods and start down the hall — but before I reach my room, a large hand clamps around my wrist and twists my arm up behind my back.

White-hot pain explodes through my shoulder.

Jack.

He slams my face into the wall, his breath thick with alcohol. My towel barely clings to me, and I can taste blood and whiskey in the air.

“What did you take from my desk?” he growls. “Papers are missing.”

“I didn’t take anything! I was just cleaning!” My voice cracks under the pressure on my arm.

He twists harder. I scream. Something pops in my shoulder.

He yanks my head back by the hair and smashes it into the wall again.

The next thing I know, I’m on my knees. My ears ring. The door slams. He’s gone.

I can’t move my left arm — it just hangs there. My vision spins. It’s dislocated.

I somehow stumble to my room, half-dressed and shaking. Getting a shirt on feels impossible. I manage to pull it over my head before collapsing on the bed. I need help.

Declan’s out. Alec’s with him. Cohen’s at dinner.

Greya.

I shouldn’t, but I text her anyway.

Me: Hi, Love. I hope I’m not waking you?

Greya: Hi. No. I’m awake. Don’t think I’ll be sleeping anytime soon.

Of course she isn’t. She never rests when Chase doesn’t.

Me: Is Chase asleep?

Greya: Not really. Hopefully the doctor can help tomorrow.

Me: I hope so too.

Me: I know I shouldn’t ask this after… today. But would it be okay if I came over?

The typing dots appear, disappear, then return. My chest tightens.

Greya: Of course. Come on over. I’ll leave the door unlocked in case Chase falls asleep.

Relief hits me — followed by pain so sharp I nearly drop my phone. I swallow four Advil with water and force myself to the car. I shouldn’t drive, but I can’t stay here.

By the time I reach her house, I’m drenched in sweat, trembling. My vision blurs as I stumble through her front door.

“Oh my God — Becker! You’re soaked and bleeding!”

Her voice is panicked, but gentle. She rushes over, helping me to the couch. I hadn’t even realized I was bleeding.

All I want is to feel her arms around me — to remind me that there’s something in this world that doesn’t hurt.

“I’m sorry,” I choke out.

She blinks. “For what?”

“For how I acted in the music room.”

“It was my fault too. I shouldn’t have said what I said,” she murmurs, heading for the kitchen to grab supplies.

My stomach drops. She regrets it.

I try to stand, but she presses me gently back down. “Where do you think you’re going? You’re hurt.”

“I shouldn’t have come,” I mutter, trying again. My legs give out.

She sighs and places a cool cloth against my neck, watching me carefully. I don’t flinch. Her touch feels like oxygen.

“In the music room…” she begins softly, “I meant every word.”

My throat tightens. I rub my forehead with my good hand, fighting to keep it together.

“So it wasn’t your fault,” she whispers. “Maybe I just rushed you. Maybe you weren’t ready.”

I grimace from the movement, and she seems to understand that we should fix my shoulder before talking more.

“I need to see how bad it is,” she says gently.

I nod.

She lifts my shirt, careful and slow, and the movement still sends fire through my arm. Her eyes water. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know you don’t, Love.”

She hesitates. “This is going to hurt. A Lot. I don’t want to be the one to cause it.”

I reach up, brushing a tear from her cheek. “You’re not causing pain. You’re fixing it.”

Her lip trembles.

“Please,” I whisper. “Help me before I pass out.”

“Okay,” she breathes.

She grips my arm — one hand under my bicep, the other below my elbow — and in one swift motion, lifts, rotates, and snaps it back into place.

The pain is blinding. But it’s fast. And when it’s done, I can breathe again.

She’s crying now — real, shaking sobs. She bolts for the bathroom.

I stumble after her, shoulder throbbing but steady. She’s at the sink, wiping her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“Don’t be. Look—” I rotate my arm slightly. “It’s sore, but you fixed it, Grey.”

“I hate that Jack does this to you,” she cries. “I didn’t want to hurt you too.”

I pull her close, her face pressed to my chest. “You didn’t. You saved me.”

She looks up, cupping my face in her hands. Her thumbs brush over my skin, soft and certain.

“I want you to come to me. Always. Anytime, for any reason. If I could, I’d keep you here — away from him.”

Her words break something open inside me. I lean down and kiss her.

If this is what love is — terrifying, fragile, and real — then I’ll risk everything for it.

Part-32

Becker’s POV…

Her lips are soft and taste a mix of sweet and salty when our tongues collide; probably from crying.

We should move from the bathroom but I’m not ready to end our kiss. Her arms slowly glide up my bare back causing the air in my lungs to constrict. A tingling sensation moves within me, goosebumps spreading all over the surface of my skin. My mind knows this should be pure delight, yet I’m afraid my shaking body will expose any trepidation.

Our lips have ceased moving and we stare into each other’s eyes. If only things were simple, if only I was normal I could fully engage in this physical experience.

Greya’s hands move from my back to my torso. She waits patiently for me while the nervous fluttering in my stomach prepares me for fight or flight.

Her hands pressed firmly against my chest, unmoving over my heart. “Close your eyes Beck,” she says in the most gentle tone. I can’t do that, what is she thinking?

“Close your eyes,” she repeats herself. “I’ve got you. Let yourself feel me…only me.”

I follow her command, putting forth all my trust in her and deeply inhale. Apples and cinnamon fill my nostrils, helping me take comfort from her heavenly scent.

My mind focuses solely on her hands. They are soft and warm, the pressure gentle yet firm. I feel her long fingers brush along my sternum, slowly moving down to my abs. It tickles slightly when I feel her trace each muscle, causing me to smile.

“Keep your eyes closed,” she reminds me. She’s removed her hands from me, I don’t know what to expect. I hear the rustling of fabric and the sound of something light dropping onto the tile floor. Still, my eyes remain shut.

I feel her body heat just before I feel her arms reach around me. I’m ready for flight and forcing myself not to look when her flesh connects with mine. I can feel her bare stomach, her silk bra, her smooth arms and hands fully enclose me. Internally I’m a disaster, butterflies going crazy, and my limbs trembling in confusion.

“What do you feel, Becker? She asks me.

I don’t know what I feel. Before I thought I would panic. I’m still shaking and nervous and at the same time her bare skin touching mine brings me relief. What once felt like tribulation, I now feel …gratification.

She grazes her hands up and down my back in a comforting manner.

“B?” I wonder why she calls me that.

I realize what I feel so I burry my face into the crook of her neck, allowing my emotions to be set free. Her embrace remains soothing while she waits for me to answer.

She is teaching me what this should truly feel like, showing me that it’s possible. It’s time for me to grasp onto it.

My lips press just above her collarbone as my right arm pulls snug against her back, closing off any space between us.

“Love,” I breathe into her neck. “I feel love.”

After a moment we release our hold and I watch her soulful eyes study me. Her hand reaches up and wipes a tear from my eye.

“Are you okay, B?”

“I’m more than ok,” I smile.

“You’re still shaking,” her hands skim down my arms and she looks at me with concern.

“This is a good type of shaking,” I cup her face and smile again.

“Grey? Are you awake? What time is it?” We both step away from each other at the sound of Chase’s voice.

Greya throws her shirt back on. “I’ll be right up bud,” she shouts back.

“There are ice packs in the freezer for your head and shoulder. Make yourself comfortable while I go check on Chase,” she says, hurrying out of the bathroom.

We were so caught up in the moment, I almost forgot Chase was upstairs. It’s still hard to believe that Greya is responsible for a child when she’s barely an adult. She takes care of that kid better than most adults I know, and he’s not just any kid, he has special needs. Thinking about everything she must do on a daily basis, shows me how remarkable she really is.

I rummage through the laundry room first, hoping to find a clean shirt. Luckily, I had left some clothes here the last time I stayed and she washed them. My arm is quite sore but I manage to get a dry shirt on, then make my way to the kitchen for some ice packs.

If I move too quickly, my head spins, which is not a good sign. If only it were possible for me to have one good night’s sleep. Either way, the couch is looking good right about now.

The two of them are talking upstairs, so I lay down onto the cushions and prop my head on a pillow. With an ice pack across my shoulder and one on my head, I close my eyes and reflect on what happened in the bathroom.

At some point I drifted to sleep because it only seems like seconds went by before I’m startled awake. When I open my eyes, I find Greya covering me with a blanket.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she says.

I lift my head to try and sit up. “Don’t get up, you need the rest,” she tells me, pulling the blanket up to my chest.

“How’s Chase? Is he sleeping?” I push further back in the couch so she has room to sit with me.

She sits sideways on the cushion so she’s facing me allowing my head to remain on the pillow. “He’s finally sleeping. He hasn’t slept for the past four nights, instead he falls asleep at school. The doctor will have a plan for me I hope.”

Poor kid, must be hard for him to know what time of day it is when all he sees is darkness.

As if she’s reading my mind…” Usually I have him on a routine so his body knows when it’s time to wake up and when it’s time to sleep, but we’ve had so much change lately with Gram’s passing and he’s been staying up late when he goes to my games, we haven’t had set dinner times, and now…”

“Me,” I finish her sentence because it’s true. “Now you’re spending time with me.”

She nods her head and reaches for my hand. “I want to spend time with you, we will make it work, but if any of us ever want sleep again, I need to get Chase back to some normalcy,” she chuckles.

“You are doing a great job with him. You amaze me every day,” I kiss the back of her hand.

She stands up suddenly, “If anyones getting sleep tonight it should be you. I’ll wake you before Chase’s appointment,” she says.

“What time is his appointment? I can go with you if you’d like? I think the three of us need a day off tomorrow to figure out this new normalcy,” I flash the puppy dog eyes at her, making her laugh.

“Okay, as long as Chase doesn’t mind you there, I’ll ask him in the morning,” she leans over and kisses me.

“Good night Handsome.”

“Stay, please,” I lift my aching head up off the pillow and make room for her on the couch.

She pulls the ottoman over so she can sit down and put her feet up. She places the pillow on her lap and motions for me to lay my head on it. I love that she wants to take care of me, I only hope she gets some rest too.

Normally I’d have a hard time closing my eyes with someone in the room with me, but as soon as I feel her run her fingers through my hair my lids become heavy.

She continues to massage my scalp , each time combing my hair with her fingers. As if she’s soothing all the tension in my mind and brushing all the pain away.

“Is this okay?” she whispers.

“More than okay, please don’t stop.”

At some point in the night she must’ve stopped because before I know it, the sun is shining through the windows. I can’t remember the last time I had that many hours of sleep at one time without having a nightmare.

My phone says it’s 7am. We have two hours before the appointment. Greya’s head is slumped over the arm of the couch, her long hair sprawled out covering her face. Even in the state she’s in, she’s beautiful.

While she’s still asleep, I decide to go into the kitchen and help her out the best way I can this morning.

Part-33

Greya’s POV…

“Grey? Is it morning?” Chase’s voice echos throughout the house.

Shit! What time is it? I frantically jump up off the couch and search for my phone. Suddenly I remember Becker was on the couch with me last night. Where is he? What if he went back home and Jack is there?

“Come on down Chase,” I yell up to him.

Noise from the kitchen startles me just as I find my phone lodged between two couch cushions.

Hesitantly, I make my way into the kitchen to find Becker cooking breakfast. I sigh in relief, rubbing my hand over my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. I’m a nervous wreck right now, if he went home and…I don’t even want to think about it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He plates the scrambled eggs then walks over to me.

I shake my head, “Nothing.” The expression on his face says he doesn’t believe me.

“I thought you left. What if you went home and…” He doesn’t let me finish before engulfing me into his arms.

“No what ifs. I told you I was staying with you today and I made us breakfast,” he releases me and points over to all the food he’s made.

“Hi Becker!” Chase happily strolls into the kitchen and sits up at the counter.

“Hey bud, how did you know it was me?” Becker asks him.

Chase skims his hand across the counter and finds a plate. He brings it closer to him and smells the food. “Mmm bacon.” He then shrugs his shoulders at us, “I heard you and Grey talking last night.”

Becker and I look at each other, slightly mortified.

I’m not sure if now is the right time to ask him what he heard exactly. A private conversation would probably be better.

“Is Alec coming over?” He asks us.

Becker and I join him at the counter so that the three of us are eating together. “Actually, I thought after your doctor appointment, we can take the rest of the day off and relax,” I’m trying to ease my way into asking him if Becker can join us.

“Becker, can you take the day off with us too?” he turns and asks him. Becker’s lips are parted, unsure of what he should say.

“He can. Would it be alright if he comes with us to your appointment too?” I save Becker from answering.

“Sure, why not!” Chase shrugs again and continues eating. Becker and I smile at each other knowing we share in the same relief.

Chase stuffs his face with all the food Becker has made and still asks for more. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get dressed,” I suggest to him. He picks up his plate and guides himself over to place it into the sink, then hurries upstairs.

I reach for mine and Becker’s empty plates, but Becker beats me to it. “I’ll clean up, you go get ready,” he says.

“We’re going to have to stop at the grocery store on our way back here. Maybe I’ll ask them for a job while we’re at it with how much food this kid’s been eating lately,” I laugh to myself.

Becker doesn’t find my joke funny. I wasn’t really joking either, I’m going to have to pick up more hours at Chase’s school soon and maybe talk to Cohen’s parents to help me sort out my finances. I had Gram’s to teach me about most of it, I’m not very good at figuring it all out on my own.

I’m too tired to think about all those things today, getting Chase back on a normal schedule is all I can focus on.

Becker has the kitchen all cleaned up and is sitting on the couch rubbing his forehead when I come down the stairs with Chase.

He has a headache again that he won’t admit to me, and he’ll want to offer to drive us. Instead, of giving him that chance, I quickly grab my car keys and walk to the front door with Chase’s hand in mine. “Ready?”

Becker looks up at me and then notices my keys in my hand and shakes his head. Thankfully, not objecting, he follows us out to my car.

Our fifteen-minute car ride would be silent if Chase wasn’t happily singing along to the music coming from his airpods. Becker’s elbow is leaning on the window, his head resting in his hand.

“You have a headache, don’t you?” I briefly look over at him. The red bump on the side of his head proves it. He doesn’t answer, nor does he deny.

“I’m worried about you, B.”

He reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. “You don’t need to worry, Love.”

“Yes, I do,” I pull my hand away and grip the steering wheel, trying to hold back the slight anger I’m feeling.

“I’ve survived much worse than this,” he rubs his left shoulder.

“You’re not helping,” I huff. “It’s killing me knowing what can happen when you go home, I can’t help you when you’re there,” my voice is quivering and I look in the rearview mirror, thankful that Chase can’t hear us through his music.

“What if next time you bring up the adoption papers and…the unthinkable happens? I’ve already lost too many people in my life,” I use my sleeve to wipe the tears that are forming.

“You won’t lose me.”

“You don’t know that!” I blurt.

“Greya, I think you passed my doctor’s office, I felt us drive over the train tracks!” Chase chimes in from the back seat.

“Crap!” I mumble to myself, he’s right. He knows the office is just before a set of tracks.

“Good catch bud, I guess I didn’t see it,” I laugh so he doesn’t notice how upset I am.

I park the car and we all walk up to the reception desk together. After we check in, we get into the elevator and up to the third floor office. There we sit in the waiting room chairs, Chase occupying himself with his music again. I hate feeling this way, I can’t be upset with Becker, he doesn’t know what else to do and he’s protecting his brother. I can understand some of his dilemma.

Becker’s head is hanging down, he’s conflicted just as I am. He’s trying his best though, that’s what I take into account. He’s skipping classes to be here for Chase and I, he’s doing his best for me.

I move my hand and place it onto his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. I smile at him when he looks at me, watching his lips turn upwards as well. His hand moves over mine until they are linked together, and we silently wait for Chase’s name to be called.

Moments later, a nurse takes us to an exam room. We watch her collect Chase’s weight and height measurements. “You’ve grown a few inches since we’ve last seen you,” the nurse excitedly says. No wonder he’s eating me out of the house.

“Dr. Olson will be a few minutes,” she informs us before leaving the room. Chase climbs up onto the exam table, feeling the paper covering with his fingers and swinging his legs back and forth with anticipation.

Becker and I are both sitting in chairs against the wall when Dr. Olson enters. “Hi Chase, I’m so happy to see you,” she says. “And who’s your new friend you brought with you today?” She looks Becker over and then gives me a questioning look. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring him along.

“That’s Becker, he’s my sister’s boyfriend,” Chase gladly tells her making mine and Becker’s eyes pop. Sometimes I forget how brilliantly observant this kid is. We will need to be more careful around him.

Before I can respond, she begins asking Chase more questions. She then examines his eyes for any new abnormalities. Chase has no idea why he’s not sleeping well, so she averts the questions to me. Becker remains quiet, patiently listening with his hands in his lap.

“I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother,” she begins with her condolences before the interrogation.

“How are you handling everything on your own?” She asks the most obvious question. For some reason I feel offended.

Do I need to defend myself? “We are managing fine. He eats well, I get him to school on time, we do homework together, he’s safe and cared for…”

“Greya, I know Chase is well taken care of. I’m asking how you are doing?”

It takes me a moment to think about her question. I’m struggling, there is not enough time in the day to do everything I need to do. I feel like I’m failing at this most of the time, but she doesn’t need to hear that. I will not let anyone take Chase away from me.

“I’m doing okay. My schedule is hectic sometimes, but I can handle it,” I choose to tell her instead.

“I don’t doubt that you can handle it, I just want you to know I’m here to help both of you whenever you need it,” she smiles at me.

“He’s not sleeping at night, I know why I think, I just need help getting him back on track,” I admit.

“Tell me what’s changed in his daily routine since your grandmother has passed?”

“Umm, well, I get him up and to school at the usual time, but without our grandmother home to watch him, he’s had to stay in the afterschool program some days while I have soccer practice. Sometimes he stays with my friend at my games, so we end up having dinner at a later time. I know it’s my fault, but my friend has been taking care of him at our house a few nights a week when I’m still at the field. I know I should be at home with him instead of spending time with my friends…” I look over at Becker, guilt soaring through my vocal cords as I speak.

“Greya, don’t be ashamed of wanting to spend time with your friends. Everyone needs time for themselves enjoying things outside of their responsibilities. You’ve essentially taken on the role of a single mother. Instead of being at work all day and then coming home and taking care of a child, you’re going to school and taking care of him. There is nothing wrong with asking people you trust to help you watch over Chase, everything you just described to me is normal. You both went through another terrible loss, which is difficult for anyone. Schedules are bound to fluctuate, and that’s okay too.”

“So, what do I do now?” I ask her.

“I’m going to prescribe some medication to help him sleep. Give him one tablet every evening about an hour before he lays in bed. Try to keep his morning schedule the same and make sure he has his meals at the same time every day. Even if he’s out late at a game, pack some food or stop somewhere for food. His body works like clockwork, If he is full at certain times of the day, especially dinner time, he will know that it’s almost time to sleep.” She scribbles on the prescription pad and hands me the paper.

“I’ll see you guys back here in two weeks for a follow up.” She gives Chase a friendly tap on his back signaling it’s his turn to give her a high-five.

“Oh, and for today, you all need to go home and have a nap. You all look exhausted,” she points a finger at Becker and I.

“Thanks doc,” we say in unison.

“I’ll take him to the car while you check him out,” Becker says to me as we leave the room. I nod in agreement and wait my turn in line. Chase starts giggling and I look over and watch the two of them interacting. Becker is tickling Chase behind his ear while Chase is trying to dodge him. It makes me happy knowing how well those two get along. Becker is great with kids. He’s great with everything actually and I’m going to do whatever I can to help him believe in himself.

Part-34

Becker’s POV…

Chase’s doctor’s appointment was an eye opener for me. Dr. Olson reminded me that Greya is essentially a single mom. It’s such a weird concept to me, knowing she’s only eighteen and trying to finish high school. She shouldn’t be raising a child. I worry about how much she deals with every day. Seeing it firsthand, I realize the stress she must be feeling and the reason she hasn’t accepted any college offers yet. I wish there was more I could do for her, but my own life is an unbearable mess as it is.

I can’t help staring out the window while Greya drives us to the grocery store and wondering why such an amazing person has been dealt such a shitty hand in life; why either of us deserve what we’ve been through.

“You’re quiet,” Greya shyly points out. I look over at her to see she’s nervously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

“Just thinking,” I smile at her.

“I know this morning was a lot to take in… it’s a lot for me, so if you’re having second…” I place my hand on her thigh, stopping her from thinking the wrong thing.

“I’m not having second thoughts, Love. I was thinking about how much you’ve gone through and how strong you are.” She gives me a half smile, unsure if she should believe me or not.

“I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to. I’m in this, I’m here for you and Chase,” I try and reassure her. I have no idea what I’m doing or how to take care of myself and Alec, let alone help her take care of a handicapped kid, but she doesn’t need to hear that.

We pull into the grocery store parking lot and Chase surprisingly grabs my hand when we exit the car. Greya’s face instantly lights up, appreciative of Chase’s actions and my acceptance.

“I’m going to push the cart, just make sure I don’t hit anyone,” chase blurts out. I look to Greya for her approval, and she shrugs her shoulders, still smiling.

We race through the aisles, thankfully not injuring any innocent bystanders. I’m not sure how he does it, but Chase seems to know exactly where we are in each isle and throws random snack items into the cart. It’s truly amazing how well this kid gets on with life without his parents around. I lost my mum and it felt like the end of the world for me; more like the end of my easy going and safe life. Thank God these two had their grandmother to give them love and keep them unharmed.

Chase is passed out cold in the back seat by the time we get back to their house, so I carry him up to his bed and then help Greya with the groceries.

“We have practice in a few hours, does Fynn come over to stay with Chase while you’re gone?” I’m putting the cold stuff away in the fridge and wondering how she’s going to juggle her schedule around.

“I told coach I wasn’t making it today, but yeah, usually Fynn watches him for me. Maybe I should give up soccer…Its’s not fair to Fynn or Chase.” She’s standing at the sink looking out the window when she says this.

“Don’t give up something you’re so good at! It makes you happy to play, you deserve that in your life. I’ll help you, we can all help you, Greya.”

“I can’t ask that of you!” She turns around and starts walking towards me and grabs the hem of my shirt. I hold my breath on instinct, my body tensing as a natural reflex. Her green eyes penetrating through me while she searches my face for any sign of acceptance. She’s proving a point, that I’m not ready to take on more responsibility, and I hate myself even more because of it.

I haven’t flinched away from her yet. My mind and my body is learning that Greya is my safe place. Her hands on me still a foreign concept though and I wish more than anything that I could be normal.

“B,” she whispers, bringing my attention back to her hands that are now lifting my shirt. She’s moving slowly, studying my reaction to her. So far I’m frozen like a statue, but it’s better than vomiting, so I’ll take it!

She lifts my shirt high enough so that the faded bruising along my rib cage is on full display. I watch and feel her soft finger tips brush my skin, outlining the bruising. Her hands are warm and move over me with a delicacy that causes my skin to erupt with goosebumps and my body to nervously quiver at the same time. I can’t decipher if what I’m feeling is pleasure or pain. I know she’s not trying to hurt me so this must be pleasure. Her hand then moves to my upper chest and her palm rests over my heart.

Her skin touching the skin over my heart. No doubt she can feel how erratic it’s beating. She keeps her hand there while her encouraging eyes watch my worried ones.

“Breathe for me B, you’re doing so good, stay with me.”

Always! I’ll always stay with you, I can’t quite manage to say out loud. My body is confused, while my heart is all in this with her. I’m fighting back tears trying to figure out these new sensations I’m getting from her.

“I want to feel more of you B. I want to wrap my arms around you at any time and hug you, do you know why?”

I just stare at her.

“Because I care about you, a lot. I want you to feel how much I care about you and I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to trust me and when I have my arms around you, I want it to feel good and safe. I can’t ask for you to take care of Chase for me because I need you to take care of you so we can work on us,” she points her finger at me then at herself.

Fuck! I’m crying like a baby now.

She’s right. She has her bare hand on my bare chest and I’m trying not to completely fall apart on her. I’ll help her with anything she needs, I want her to know that, but she also needs for me to give her things I’m not able to give her yet, like normal intimate contact.

“I’m trying, Greya. I’ll never stop trying for you.”

“I know you are. You’ve already come a long way, I’m so proud of you.”

Fuck… more tears. I can’t take it anymore, I need her.

“Please hug me, I need you to hug me,” I plead with her.

She removes her hand from my chest and my shirt falls back down. I’m shaking and crying in front of her and I know she wants to hold me as much I want her to.

“Are you sure?” I nod my approval.

She steps nearer, closing the gap between us and wraps her arms securely around my shaking body, instantly soothing me. I burry my face into her neck and wrap my arms around her too.

My emotions are so overwhelming that I cry harder into her neck while she embraces me. “I’m so sorry Grey…I’m so sorry, I’ll keep trying.”

“Shh, you’re ok, I’ve got you,” she whispers while hugging me tighter. She makes me feel loved, at least I think this is what love should feel like and I don’t want this feeling to ever go away.

“Please don’t let go, and don’t ever stop trying to hug me.” I don’t want her to give up on me. She’s my safe haven.

“I’ll never let you go. Whatever you’re ready for and whatever you need me to do, I’ve got you. I want this…Us,” she says.

I softly kiss her neck and then she pulls back slightly so we can look at each other. I’m a mess in her arms. I wipe my tear stained face on my shirt, embarrassed about not being able to keep it together in front of the one person I want to love me more than anything.

Her smile is so genuine and kind and I feel her palm cup my cheek in the tender way she always does. And I lean into her hand like I always do. God, I hope I can be strong enough for this girl.

Part-35

Greya’s POV…

The next morning, I wake up to sunlight leaking through the blinds, the faint hum of the neighborhood waking up outside. But the first thing I notice isn’t the light—it’s the soft ache in my chest, the kind that comes after you’ve cried, confessed, and cared too much in a single night.

Becker didn’t stay. He needed space—his way of resetting—but before he left, he pressed his forehead to mine and whispered, “Thank you for not giving up on me.” I think that moment said more than either of us could’ve managed with words.

Now, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, I stare at the spot where he sat last night. My mind replays everything: his trembling hands, the way he said safe, and how, for the first time, I felt like maybe I could heal too.

Chase bursts into the room, his hair wild from sleep. “Grey, can we have pancakes?” he asks with a sleepy grin.

“Pancakes it is,” I smile, ruffling his hair.

He climbs up on the stool beside me, humming as I whisk the batter. For a few peaceful minutes, it’s just us—the smell of vanilla, the sound of sizzling batter, the rhythm of normal life. It’s nice. Simple.

Halfway through flipping the second pancake, my phone buzzes on the counter. Becker’s name lights up the screen. My pulse jumps.

Becker: Can I come by soon? I owe you breakfast.

A smile pulls at my lips before I can stop it. I type back, Only if you bring that smile of yours. Then immediately cringe. Too much? Probably. But seconds later, the three dots appear.

Becker: I’ll try. Not great at smiling, but I’ll work on it.

He’s trying. And that’s more than I could ever ask for.

By late afternoon, he’s at my door again. This time, he’s holding a paper bag from the café down the road.

“A thank you gift,” he says, lifting it like a trophy.

“Come in,” I tell him, and it feels less like an invitation and more like a habit now.

Chase is in the living room, building something with his legos, and he lights up when Becker walks in. “Becker! Help me build a ramp!”

Becker crouches down, smiling softly. “You got it, little man.”

Watching them, I feel something steady anchor inside me. This isn’t a fantasy or some fairytale redemption story—it’s two broken people learning to live again, one slow step at a time.

When Chase runs off to grab more legos, Becker looks up at me. “You really meant it last night? That you want this?”

“I meant every word,” I say, moving to sit beside him. “Even the scary parts.”

He nods, thoughtful. “Then I’ll keep trying, Grey. I can’t promise I won’t screw up, but I’ll keep showing up.”

“You already are.”

He exhales, that quiet, relieved kind of sigh that sounds like trust. And when he takes my hand again, there’s no hesitation this time—only warmth, steady and real.

“So, I have a surprise and hoping you’ll both tag along with me,” he’s holding up three tickets in his hand.

“Really? What is it?” Chase asks.

“I have tickets to a sound museum!”

Chase thinks for a second. “That sounds cool, can we go Grey?”

“We’ll need to leave in a few minutes if we want to beat the crowd,” Becker adds.

We spend the short time getting ready.

“Shoes, Chase! And don’t forget your headphones!” I call from the kitchen, double-checking my bag. Snacks, water—check.

“Tell me more about the museum,” Chase asks Becker.

Becker’s leaning against the frame, casual but sharp in a gray hoodie and jeans, holding the three tickets between his fingers. “It’s an interactive exhibit—‘The World in the Dark.’ You’ll get to use sound, touch, and smell to explore. No lights, no screens.”

Chase’s eyes widen. “No lights? Like… none at all?”

Becker shakes his head, a tiny grin playing at his lips. “Total darkness.”

Chase looks at him curiously. “That’s kinda awesome. You and Grey will be blind too then.”

“Yeah,” Becker says quietly, and his grin softens into something more real.

The museum is alive with low chatter and the distant echo of footsteps. A volunteer greets us with small earpieces that narrate each station. “Don’t worry,” she says kindly to Becker and I, “you’ll get used to it in seconds.”

We’re practically the only ones here right now which is why we hurried. I’m not sure Becker could handle not being able to see with a lot of people around us.

Once we step into the exhibit, the world turns black. Literally. Not a speck of light, just the sounds of whispering voices and soft ambient music guiding us forward.

“Whoa,” Becker gasps, gripping my arm. “I really can’t see anything.”

“Use your hands,” Chase’s voice comes from somewhere ahead. “And your ears. It’s okay to reach out,” he reminds us. We’re in Chase’s world now.

I hear the faint sound of Becker’s hand brushing against a textured wall, slow and deliberate. He’s oddly comfortable here—more comfortable than I’ve ever sensed him in the daylight.

Chase’s small hand leaves my other one for a moment as he starts to explore. “It feels like bark!” he says, running his fingers over a display.

“Tree trunk,” Becker replies, smiling even though we can’t see it. “You can tell by the grooves.”

The narrator’s voice describes the smell of rain, the sound of wind rustling through leaves, the way touch can replace sight. But I don’t need the recording to feel something shift between us. Here, in this darkness, we’re all equals—each of us learning how to trust our other senses, and each other.

I reach out, my fingers brushing Becker’s sleeve. He catches my hand instinctively. “You okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” I breathe. “It’s kind of… peaceful.”

He squeezes gently, guiding me closer. “It is.”

There’s a quiet confidence in his voice that I rarely hear, and it makes my heart ache in the best way.

The next room is all about music. Chase finds the drums and then a harp. Becker finds a piano and his fingers immediately begin playing an upbeat melody.

After a while, the exhibit ends with a soft transition into dim light. Chase immediately starts talking a mile a minute. “That was awesome! The part with the rain smell and the piano music—did you hear that? And Becker, you were like a pro in there!”

Becker laughs—really laughs—and it’s the kind of sound that makes you want to hold onto the moment forever. “Guess I had an advantage,” he teases.

We stop at the museum café afterward. Chase munches on a cookie the size of his face while Becker and I sit across from him, sipping coffee. The afternoon sun filters through the windows, painting everything gold.

Chase suddenly says, “I think you should come out with us more, Becker. You make things more fun.”

Becker blinks, startled by the sincerity. He looks at me like he’s not sure how to handle it.

I nudge his knee under the table. “He’s right, you know.”

A small smile tugs at Becker’s lips. “Then I guess I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Chase says through a mouthful of cookie. “Because you’re part of our family now, Alec too.”

And just like that, Becker Reeves—the boy who once believed he wasn’t capable of being loved—smiles like maybe he’s starting to believe he belongs.

Part-36

Greya’s POV…

For the past week, my focus had been getting Chase back on a schedule. My friends and Becker had all volunteered to help—even though I’d protested most of the time. Now that a week had passed, things were working better than expected.

Fynn picked Chase up from school and watched him until I got home from practice. On game days, he packed a dinner bag and brought Chase to the field with him, so my evenings could stay somewhat predictable. Ari had graciously volunteered to watch Chase on Saturday night so Becker and I could have alone time. God knows it’s been good for our relationship to be able to just exist together without distractions.

Becker and I were no longer a secret, and our dynamic had shifted. He had started walking me to at least one class every day, something he struggled with at first. Seeing him push past his own anxieties to do something for me made me want to hug him in relief every time we made it through the hallways.

“Come on, Chase! Becker’ll be here any minute,” I call out.

“Is he here?” Chase asks eagerly.

“Yes, bud,” I say, handing him his sweatshirt and walking stick.

As soon as Becker starts driving, Chase bursts into song from the back seat. Becker reaches for my hand, kisses my knuckles, and gives me a small smile. It’s a quiet gesture, but fills me with warmth.

I check him over from head to toe, making sure he’s okay like I do every morning after a night that he’s been home.

“I’m fine, Grey… but you can still check me out if you’d like,” he joks, trying to ease the tension I feel.

My worry isn’t so easy to laugh off. Every minute Becker is home is a minute he could be in danger. I don’t know what to do about his past or Jack, and it terrifies me. My mind races with thoughts of calling Cohen’s parents, digging for information, trying to find a way to protect him.

The drive is silent except for Chase’s singing. Becker holds my hand the entire way, fingers laced with mine. The quiet comfort of his presence makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, we could make this work despite all the unknowns.

“See you tonight, little man,” Becker says, fist-bumping Chase before he exits the car.

“Have a good day, buddy. Love you,” I tell him.

“Love you guys too,” Chase answers, and I feel my chest tighten. This kid… he has no idea the kind of comfort his words bring me. Becker too.

Becker reaches for my hand again as we drive to school. Slowly, he’s testing new ways to connect. Holding hands is easier now. Sometimes, he places my hand on his chest, or brings it up to his face when he wants me close. We kiss on the lips, sometimes lingering at my neck. Every day, he seems to crave touch, a physical reassurance that I’m here.

Last night, while hugging, I had kissed just below his ear. He’d stiffened at first, but after a moment, he relaxed and wrapped me tighter.

Progress.

“I’m sorry I worry you when I go home. I’m okay though,” he murmurs, glancing at his body as if to confirm it.

“I know you’re okay… today anyway,” I say softly. “I wish you and Alec could live here. Then I’d know you were always safe.”

“I know. I promise I’ll figure it out soon. And I promise I’ll stay clear of Jack.”

“Sometimes… it’s not something you can control,” I remind him gently.

“We can’t live our lives worrying every day either,” he said.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” I say.

“Don’t apologize for trying to protect me. I’d do the same for you. We’ll come up with a plan. I need to dig more—figure out why my mom left and why Jack adopted me. I’ll be careful.”

“Okay,” I whisper, knowing it’s far from okay.

At school, Becker walked me to the locker rooms so I could drop off my soccer bag. The morning hallway rush was brutal. Students were running, bumping, pushing through the crowds. I suggested he just walk me to lunch.

“I’m walking you to class. We have the same class, Grey,” he says.

“True,” I laugh softly.

“I’m walking you to all your classes today,” he adds, grabbing my hand.

“You know you don’t have to do that.”

“I want to… I need to. Unless you don’t want me to?” He asks quietly, aware of the stares from students.

I stop him and hold both his hands. “I love walking with you. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I only care about you. If it’s too much, tell me, and I’ll understand.”

“Thanks, beautiful,” he says, leaning forward to kiss me.

We reach the main hallway. Hand in hand, his grip tightens as students brush past us. His posture is rigid, holding his breath—a rare public vulnerability. Suddenly, he releases my hand, putting his arm around my neck and shoulder.

“Put your arm around my waist… please,” he whispers.

I comply and he pulls me flush against him. We look like a normal couple now, moving through the chaos with ease. Every time someone bumps him, he leans closer into me. I feel protective, and it feels right.

I squeeze his side. He smiles, clearly relieved that he’s found a way to navigate the halls without letting fear take over.

We reach our classroom and take our seats. Becker leans close, nudging my arm.

“Thank you,” he says shyly.

“You amaze me, you know that?” I whisper.

He lowers his head a moment. “I need you close to feel safe. Your arms around me keeps me from panicking, so I don’t know how amazing that makes me.”

“You’re amazing B, and I’ll remind you every day until you believe me.”

“Hmm,” he smiles. “You make it easier to talk about what I feel.”

“I thought our thing was to compete with each other?” I tease. Trying to lighten the conversation and keep him smiling.

“If that’s the only way to get you to score goals, then I can make bets and remind you how amazing you are,” he says with another smile.

We both laugh. That laugh—I want to hear it more often. I want him to be carefree, to live without the weight of fear pressing on him. And I promise myself I’ll do everything I can to help him get there.

Part-37

Becker’s POV…

“We can’t stay very long tonight, if Jack’s still not home, I need to use the time to search his office,” I lean close to Greya’s ear so only she can hear me. We’re sitting on her couch, my arm around her shoulders and hers around my waist like when we walk the school halls together.

This is my new favorite position. When I suggested it to her this morning in the hallway, I didn’t think it would work, but I needed to try something before I bolted on her. I felt protected being held against her side. I’m the man who’s supposed to protect her, yet she’s the one reeling me in, holding me tight and keeping me sane. Every time someone bumped me, she would squeeze my waist and my attention went straight back to her. She keeps my fears at bay. I want her holding me, I need her and the way she’s gripping onto me now, I know she needs me too.

Somehow I’ve managed to make her happy, make her smile. She wants me, even the messed up parts of me. She’s so worried about me going home and I don’t blame her. If the roles were reversed, I’d never let her go.

I wish I didn’t have to put her through this torture. She’s lost so many people in her life and I can’t be one of those people too.

“I’m so sorry Love. I hate worrying you. I can text you every hour if you want me too.”

“This is so hard,” she whispers, leaning her head on my shoulder. Making anything harder on her is the last thing I want.

I kiss the top of her head and pull her closer to me. Sometimes I wonder if she’d be better off if I had continued to stay away from her. I wouldn’t be causing her any stress. She’d be getting on with her life the way she always has, focusing on soccer and school and Chase. Now she has me added to the mix, complicating her life even more.

There’s no going back though. She’s helped me so much in a short amount of time, shown me how to feel things I never though possible for me. She is everything I need to make it though every day without giving up on myself.

“GO Fish! Again!” Chase blurts out, teasing Alec. They’ve been playing the card came for the last hour. The cards are in braille, I didn’t know there was such a thing for a ‘Go Fish’ game.

“I’m going to grab a glass of water,” I warn Grey before getting up from the couch.

I walk into the kitchen and when I close the freezer after grabbing some ice, a pile of papers near the side of the fridge catches my attention. They’re official offers from UCLA, one from Boston College, UNC, Lipscomb, and a few more. What is she doing? She has the world right here waiting for her. Full rides to each one.

“Hey Grey? Can you help me with something in here a minute?”

She waltzes in. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Her face drops when she notices the pile of papers in my hand. She silently waits to hear what I have to say and tears slowly roll down her cheeks.

Shit! I’ve made her cry.

“Come here Love,” I place the papers down and offer my hand to her. She hesitantly walks over to me and reaches for my hand.

“Talk to me, please Grey. Help me understand, let me help you.”

“I don’t know what to do…about anything anymore,” she sniffs.

I bring her towards the stools at the kitchen counter so we can sit down and talk about this.

“Let me help you figure this out. Tell me all the pros and cons.”

She wipes her tears away and takes a deep breath. “Cons…I can’t uproot Chase. He’s thriving in his school, he’s grown up in this house. We would have to move down to L.A. or across the country and he can’t live in a college dorm with me.” She pauses for a moment then looks up at me.

“And I have you. I’m not leaving you.”

“I’m on your cons list? Shit! I’m sorry I’m complicating things, Grey, I never meant to do that to you.”

She grabs my hands. “B, you’re not a con, you’re one of my pros. I just don’t want us to be apart, I don’t even know what your plans are. What’s going to happen to Alec?”

I haven’t told her about my piano audition tape yet. I’m not ready to get my hopes up until they accept me, or until UCLA gives me a soccer offer. Only Cohen has an offer so far, lucky guy and Declan decided he’s going to play for USC. Also, I haven’t figured out how I’m going to protect Alec if I’m away at college.

“Which of these schools would be your top choice?” Please say UCLA I need her to stay in California, close to me too.

“UCLA.”

I smile at that.

“Ok, so list the pros for going there.” I’m going to avoid talking about me and Alec as much as I can.

She points to the stack of papers. “They offered me off campus housing assistance because the coach knows my dilemma.”

“Wow, that’s great Grey!”

“A full ride, so I won’t need to use the money Gram left me for school, I can use it for other needs or set up a trust fund. Also, Ari got an offer to play for USC so she’ll be close by and Fynn is going to apply wherever I apply he says.” I smile to myself knowing why Declan also chose USC.

“Grey, do you realize how much support you’ll have, all of this sounds incredible. Cohen will also be at UCLA.”

“But, I’m essentially a single mom, how do I do all this and play soccer and…and what about you?”

I should tell her about the tape Mrs. Mara sent out to different schools but it might disappoint her. She’s probably expecting me to play soccer in college, and I will if my other option falls through and if I can somehow keep Alec away from Jack.

“B?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it? I lost you for a moment there.”

Here goes nothing. ” I sent in an audition tape of my music to multiple colleges, I think I want to persue music.”

Greya’s eyes light up as she smiles at me. “That’s fantastic, B. You’re so talented. Your piano playing and your voice is so pure and real…and amazing!”

I chuckle at how many times she calls me amazing. This girls in front of me is amazing.

“If I stay in California and you go to UCLA, then we’ll still have each other,” I point out.

“What about Chase? We’ll have to move, he’ll have to start over somewhere and it’s harder for a kid like him. How do I raise a kid and play college soccer? D1 is a huge time commitment. I don’t have family to help me.”

“We’re your family Grey. Me, Ari, Fynn, Cohen will all be with you. You can count on us as your family from here on. Promise me you’ll think about accepting the offer and I promise we will figure it all out and make it an easier transition for Chase.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

She nods and I immediately engulf her into my arms. I’m going to help her figure this out. I won’t let her give up on her dreams even if I have to stay here and give up on mine. As long as Alec is safe and Greya is happy.

I hear her sniffle. She’s crying again. Damnit!

I pull away and have her look at me. I wipe away her tears with my thumbs and wait for her to tell me what’s wrong.

“Please stay, don’t go home tonight,” she says then burrows her face into my chest.

The anticipation of not knowing what will happen to me if I go home is eating away at her. I need to figure out my own shit soon before she can’t handle it any more. I can’t keep doing this to her and I can’t lose her either.

“I know nothing I say will ease your mind. All I can promise is I’ll be careful. I’ll stay in my room if he comes home and I’ll lock my door. I won’t sleep…I’ll be ready for him. I’ll also call or text you how ever many times you need me to.” This is all I can promise her, and it sucks.

I stand up and she stands up with me. We both hug each other, silently wishing we could save each other. What she doesn’t know is that she’s already saved me in so many ways, since the first time she landed her empathetic green eyes on me in 7th grade. I knew from then on that she would be my reason to live…to survive.

Part-38

Greya’s POV…

I have an appointment with my guidance counselor today. I’m going to talk to her about UCLA and all the steps I need to take. I also made an appointment for Chase and I to talk to his psychologist this afternoon. I need her to help me talk to Chase about moving, get her thoughts on this whole dilemma. If it’s not going to be beneficial for Chase, then moving is out of the question.

Becker texted me brief indications of his safety all night. I’m glad he did but now I’m exhausted and I’m sure he is too. He hasn’t come to class yet this morning and texted me he’s going to stay in the music room today. I know something’s wrong. He doesn’t usually skip regular class to be there unless something’s bothering him. Playing his music is a form of therapy for him.

I too skip my next class to find him. I need to see him, see that he’s ok and talk to him about what he found at home last night.

When I get there, a beautiful piano melody fills the room. He has his back to me, so I watch him drown himself into his music. His posture and movements are totally engulfed in what he’s performing, he looks magical to me.

I slowly make my way to him and stop beside him so he knows I’m here. I wish he didn’t stop playing, but as soon as he notices me he stops and smiles.

“That was beautiful, you can keep playing if you want.”

Lately, he envelopes me into a hug when he sees me, but instead he shuffles over on the bench and motions for me to sit next to him. When I do, he places his arm around my side and pulls me in to kiss my cheek.

“Are you okay?” I need to be sure nothing’s wrong.

“I am now that you’re here.”

“Talk to me B. You’ve been in here all morning.” I reach for his hand and he jerks back slightly. He hasn’t been skittish around me in a few weeks, so this can’t be good.

“Shit! I’m sorry,” he says, this time he grabs my hand and brings my palm up to his cheek. He leans into my hand for comfort and closes his eyes. He’s trying to fight his demons again and I’ll patiently sit here with him, fighting them too.

“Tell me what happened. Did he hurt you?” My eyes roam across his whole body. I’d physically search him too if me touching him wouldn’t scare him.

He opens his soulful blue eyes, his left eye glistening even brighter from the water building in them.

“No he didn’t hurt me. I found out a lot of things about my life last night and I don’t know how to process it all, that’s why I’m in here.”

“You can tell me, I can help you.” My palm is still cupping his cheek.

“I know and I will tonight, if you’ll let me come over after my game.”

“Of course you can come over, Alec too if you need.”

He removes my hand from his face, still holding my hand in his and examines it in an odd way.

“I’m sorry I flinched, I feel so stupid for doing that to you. I’m supposed to be trying harder for you, I don’t know what happened.”

“You have a lot on your mind, I understand B. It’s okay not to be okay with me sometimes, just talk to me about it, I’m always here for you.”

A lone tear falls down his face and he quickly wipes it away.

“Can you give me a hug?” He asks.

I smile and slowly move closer to him until our bodies occupy all the space between us. I hear him suck in a deep breath while my arms gently wrap around him. He slowly releases his breath, wrapping his arms around me too.

“Is this what love should feel like?” He shocks me with his question. “Yes, B it is. And I’ll show you everyday what it means and I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes for you to realize you are capable of so much love.”

“You’re my safe haven, Grey. It’s only ever been you, even if I back away sometimes, I know I’m okay with you. Please don’t give up on me.”

“Never.” I kiss his cheek.

We pull away from each other. I can almost feel the demons attacking him. “You’re going to stay in here all day, aren’t you?” I ask.

“Probably,” he slightly smiles.

“I have a meeting with my guidance counselor about UCLA.”

His smile brightens.

“That’s fantastic, I’m proud of you.”

“I also have an appointment with Chase after school to talk to his psychologist about moving. I’ll be back in time for my game.”

“Greya, I’m so happy for you. Let me know how it all goes and if you need any help with anything.”

Even during his own battle and distress, he still offers to help me. He cares and he knows how to love, he just doesn’t realize it.

“We can talk about everything tonight. I’m staying to watch your game too,” I tell him and he smiles at me then looks down at the piano.

I know there’s so much he needs to say, and I’ll give him the time he needs today while I figure out my own problems.

I get up from the bench, startling him again in the process.

“Fuck! Sorry…I don’t like the feeling of you being away from me.” I give him a funny look. He’s complicated and my life is complicated and the only thing uncomplicated is the way I feel about this guy. Deep down we both know we need each other no matter how confusing our lives get.

I smile with him this time. “Want to wager on a hat trick tonight?” He teases.

“You bet,” I tease back before walking out of the room.

I walk straight to guidance and have a surprisingly reassuring conversation with my counselor. She informs me that everything’s in place for me and Chase at UCLA upon my acceptance of their offer. Easy enough, now to make sure Chase’s therapist and doctor and Chase are on board too.

“Hey buddy, how was your day?” I ask my little brother after I pick him up from school.

“Great! But why did you pick me up early?”

“We’re going to see Dr. Chandler, I’ve got something important to talk to you about and I need her help.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “Okay.”

Chase plops himself down onto the couch in his therapist’s office. I sit down next to him, feeling nervous about what he’s going to think.

“Hello young man, and Greya,” Dr. Chandler’s voice is upbeat and I’m so thankful for that.

“Greya says we have something important to talk about?” Chase is already looking for answers.

“Yes, you’re right. You’re sister wants to talk about a special opportunity for both of you, and I’m here if you want to talk about your feelings about everything after.”

He turns towards me. “What do you want to tell me Grey?”

I grab his hand and hold it to keep his attention. “You know how all those college coaches come to watch me at all my soccer games?”

“Yeah.”

“Some of those coaches want me to play soccer for them at their college.”

“That’s totally awesome! I knew it! You’re the best player Grey!”

“Thanks little bro. That also means that you’ll have to come with me. We will have to move and you’ll go to a new school too.”

He lowers his head and stays quiet for a few minutes.

“What do you think about all that?” Dr. Chandler intervenes.

“Where will we move to? Would I go to a blind person school like the one I’m at now?”

“We would move to Los Angeles so we’d still be in California. I also found two different schools that I think you’ll like. One is just like yours now and the other is a small private school with kids who can see.”

“So I could go to a normal school?”

“That’s something we can all talk about,” Dr. Chandler tells him.

“Okay. Can I think about it? Can you tell me about both schools first? Do they have sports and comic books in braille?”

The therapist and I both smile.

“How about I tell you all about them after Becker’s game tonight?”

“Yes and we can all have pizza and tell Alec to come too…wait…if we move, how will we see Becker and Alec again?”

“We can talk with them tonight about that if you want, buddy?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“So how about you both come back and see me in a few days after you’ve both had time to discuss everything and you can tell me what you’ve decided, Chase?”

“Sure Doc!”

I though he’d bombard me with a hundred questions on the ride home, yet he’s been uncharacteristically quiet.

“What are you thinking about, buddy?”

“Just thinking.”

“Do you have any questions for me?”

“Not right now Grey, maybe later. Can Fynn bring me to your game tonight?”

“He sure can and then we can order pizza.”

“Awesome! You’re the best sister.”

“I’m your only sister,” I chuckle.

“And Greya?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to play for UCLA. You deserve it. I’ll move anywhere with you if it means you’ll be happy.”

I can’t help the tears poor from my eyes. Somehow Grams and I managed to raise such a smart and selfless kid. For all the complicated in his life, he sure finds a way to uncomplicated it.

Part-39

Becker’s POV…

“I found her.”

I back away from him, waiting for the blow to come. I barely made it up the stairs before he bombards me. As usual I have no clue what Jack’s talking about. He’s stone sober for once with a full bottle of vodka in his hand which scares me even more now.

“Found who,” I ask him, though it’s probably a bad idea to engage in this conversation.

“Your whore of a mother. She thought she could leave me and that I wouldn’t find her. Well guess what? I did and I’m going to get her and bring her back here.”

What the hell! I’m not sure if I should stand here and listen to what he has to say or if I should run before he decides to slam that bottle into my head while I’m two inches from falling down a flight of stairs.

“I don’t understand,” my voice shakes.

He pulls out a piece of paper from his front pocket and waves it around in the air. “I know you’ve seen this.”

I’m so confused.

“Your adoption paper. You think I’m a monster! Your real father is the monster. Your mother knew it and his father knew it and wanted to hide you from him.”

I haven’t had a conversation with this guy without him physically abusing me for the last six years, and now when I do, he decides to tell me this! What the fuck!

“Where do you think all this money came from to pay for all this?”

“Your football career? I don’t know.”

“That’s nothing compared to what your grandfather paid me to adopt you and when you turned 18, no more payments came in. So now what? This is your fault! Your mother left me because of you and just expected me to take care of you! Alec, sure because he is my son… But you!!” He’s now screaming in my face and I’ve gone numb. I probably won’t even feel him hit me at this point.

That’s why he’s always left Alec alone, he’s been safe all along. Thank God for that.

“You didn’t take care of me. You beat the shit out of me! I was a kid and I’ve grown up afraid that people will hurt me because of you!” I’m yelling now too I think, I don’t know anymore.

“Why would my grandfather pay you to adopt me?” I have so many questions.

“Your grandfather is a wealthy and prominent businessman and his son, your father, is bad news. A violent drug lord in Chicago. Your mother somehow got herself knocked up by him and then asked his father to hide her and her baby. She met me and when you turned two and she was about to have Alec, we made a deal with your grandfather that he’d pay me every month until you were eighteen if I pretended you were mine.” He removes the cap from the bottle and it’s only a matter of time before things spiral.

I send Greya a quick text so she won’t worry or come here looking for me. I then watch Jack down half the bottle and prepare myself for what comes next.

I know I need to keep him talking while he still has a few minutes of clarity.

“Why would mom leave us? Why is that my fault?” I’ve waited for the answer to this for almost six years.

“She was delusional, thinking your father found her. She thought he was coming for her and you, so she ran. She ran from me and left you here. Because of you I lost my wife!” He throws the now empty bottle at the wall and I watch all the pieces shatter around us.

I’m frozen. Caught in the space between what’s real and what’s not. I almost wish Jack would finally end my misery, if it wasn’t for Greya and Alec, Cohen and Declan, I’d made sure he’d done it already. My mother left because she thought she was protecting me. She didn’t realize she left me with someone just as bad as the person she was protecting me from.

“I’m leaving,” he says. I try to focus on what he says next.

“I’m going across country to get my wife and bring her home. Tell Alec I’m bringing his mother home.” He quickly moves towards me and I try and back away but I trip down the stairs and twist my ankle when I grab the railing to keep myself from tumbling further.

Jack leaves me hanging as he walks past me down the rest of the stairs. “She’s my mother too,” I whisper to myself.

My ankle hurts like hell when I try to put pressure on it, so I decide to sit on the step and wait for Jack to leave the house.

I send Greya another quick text. What I really need is to hear her sweet voice and feel her soft hands comforting me.

After he leaves, I ice my ankle and make sure Alec comes home safely before retiring to my room. I’m certainly not sleeping. So, texting Greya random messages is the only thing that gets me through the night.

Now that it’s morning, I feel bad I kept Greya up all night with me. We both have games today and I know she’s not used to playing on no sleep.

My ankle’s clearly still bothering me, there’s no hiding my limp from her unless I hide out in the music room all day. So that’s what I do. Skip classes and play the piano. That is until Greya figures out I’m in here.

She silently walks up next to the piano and watches me. Her smile puts a smile on my face too.

“That was beautiful, you can keep playing,” she says.

Her compliments are comforting. She always makes everything better for me. Someday, when I’m not so messed up, I’ll be able to do the same for her.

I want to hug her but my body is back to reacting in it’s usual fucked up way. Last night did a number on my sanity.

I push over so she can sit by me. She’s worried about me and so careful with me at the same time, my heart flutters erratically by how wonderful she treats me. I’m not used the feelings she creates inside me.

“Talk to me B. You’ve been in here all morning.” She reaches for my hand and I jerk away from her like the idiot I am.

“Shit! I’m sorry,” I grab her hand and bring her palm up to my cheek and lean into her touch. I need to get it together, she doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her. Just thinking about that brings tears to my eyes.

“Tell me what happened. Did he hurt you?”

“No he didn’t hurt me. I found out a lot of things about my life last night and I don’t know how to process it all, that’s why I’m in here.”

“You can tell me, I can help you.”

“I know and I will tonight, if you’ll let me come over after my game.”

“Of course you can come over, Alec too if you need.”

I lower her hand but keep hold of it, reminding myself how normal it is to hold the hand of someone you care about.

“I’m sorry I flinched, I feel so stupid for doing that to you. I’m supposed to be trying harder for you, I don’t know what happened.”

“You have a lot on your mind, I understand Beck. It’s okay to not be okay with me sometimes, just talk to me about it, I’m always here for you.”

The tears fall and I don’t want to look so weak in front of her.

“Can you give me a hug?” I ask her. I need her arms around me.

I instinctively hold my breath when she touches me and quickly realize how much I crave her. The heart fluttering and the butterflies rapidly spreading throughout my body tell me this is real, she is real.

“Is this what love should feel like?” I ask her because I don’t know what else this could be. I’ve also forgotten what love is.

“Yes, B it is. And I’ll show you everyday what it means and I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes for you to realize you are capable of so much love.”

“You’re my safe haven, Grey. It’s only ever been you, even if I back away sometimes, I know I’m okay with you. Please don’t give up on me.”

“Never.” She kisses my cheek.

She tells me about her decision to talk to guidance about UCLA and I’m so happy for her. She wants to talk to her brother about it too, which I know will be hard.

I offer her any help she might need from me, and then she unexpectedly gets up from the bench, startling me. God, why can’t I be normal? I want her to stay here with me and wasn’t prepared for her to leave right after getting used to her by my side.

“Fuck! Sorry…I don’t like the feeling of you being away from me.” I attempt to explain myself and by the look on her face, I only made it worse. She smiles at me though.

I smile with her this time. “Want to wager on a hat trick tonight?” I tease.

“You bet,” she teases back before walking out of the room.

I stare at the piano again wondering how I was born into the situation I’ve had to live through. I wonder why Greya’s had to suffer so much too. She’s so strong and resilient and I’m scared to death of ruining any good that we have together.

I won’t be able to hide my limp from her tonight and she’ll be upset I didn’t tell her about it sooner. I’ll also be trying to explain to her everything Jack revealed to me about my life. If that doesn’t make her run from me afterwards, then I must be the luckiest bastard in the world.

Part-40

Greya’s POV…

“I’m so happy for you Grey”.

Ari wraps her arms around me. We’re in the locker room getting ready for our game.

“I can’t believe we’ll be playing against each other! Chase is resilient and smart and can adapt to anything, he’ll be fine and I’ll be around to help you.”

“Thanks Ari, you’ve always got my back. Chase says he doesn’t mind moving, except he’s worried about missing his friends and Alec.”

“He’s been spending a lot of time at your house and Becker, huh?” She asks.

“Yeah, him and Alec bonded right away. I know Alec’s a sixteen year old, yet he’s great with kids.”

I’m trying to braid one side of my hair and Ari comes over and starts braiding the other side. She’s anxious to get out on the field and beat our rival team today.

“How are you and Becker? Is he being good to you?”

“Yeah, of course, he’s great!”

“Come on Grey, I know there’s more to it when it comes to Becker. The guy’s got some major issues, we all can see it even if we don’t know exactly what they are. I’m just making sure you two have a healthy relationship and he’s able to take care of you, not the other way around.”

I chuckle to myself. This is my first relationship, I’m not sure what a healthy one actually looks like. He cares about me, protects me, tries to help me as much as he can. That’s got to be healthy.

“He has a very complicated family life but he treats Chase and I very well. He’s working very hard on his other issues and I’m proud of him.” I tell her.

“You’re also stressed out about him too much lately, I see it on your face and with your actions. Something about him causes you to worry more than you should. You have a lot on your plate already.”

She finishes my braid and finishes putting on her socks and cleats. I do worry about him. If Ari knew his real story, she would understand.

“I think I’m in love with him,” I say. Ari whips her head around to face me.

“Really?”

“Yes, I love him. And there’s a lot to his story and he worries me a lot because I love him. He’s also strong, gentle, and so brave. Some day I hope he’s able to share his reasons for all his issues, but for now, all I want to do is help him and be there for him, like he’s trying to be here for me.”

“Wow, your first love. I’m happy that you’ve finally opened your heart to someone…I know how hard it is for you give your heart when you’ve had so much loss.” Ari hugs me. “Have you told him? Has he said he loves you too?” She asks.

I want to tell him every time I’m with him and I would if he wasn’t petrified of the word. I don’t blame him for shying away from the idea. Heck, I haven’t allowed myself to love anyone else for my own obvious reasons. With Beck, I can’t help it. We’ve always had a connection in some way and now that our connection is real, I’ve fallen hard for him. I know he loves me too, if only I could help him admit it.

“No I haven’t told him yet. I will though,” I tell her.

“Well he’s loved you forever!” She smirks. “Now let’s go out and beat these bitches,” we both crack up laughing.

Apparently, I need to score a hat trick to win our bet. I haven’t seen or talked to Becker since this morning in the music room, so I’m anxious to get these games going so I can see him.

The guys team are sitting in their usual spot behind our bench, Becker off to the side as always. The athletic trainer is arguing with him for some reason which has me on edge. He had a rough morning but I wonder if anything else is wrong. He told me Jack didn’t hurt him, so maybe it’s a muscle pull or something simple.

I watch the trainer walk away and back again bearing a pair of crutches. My heart skips a few beats when I see him place the crutches next to Becker. Becker pushes them away but allows the trainer to kneel in front of him and begin wrapping his ankle with white tape.

Becker looks up in my direction and catches me glaring at him. I’m not sure if I’m feeling more pissed off or worried. He lied to me. He said Jack didn’t hurt him.

I look away and try to even my breathing. It’s his ankle, so maybe he twisted it while practicing with the team.

When I look back at Becker, he mouths the word, “Sorry” to me and I instantly know something happened to him last night. No wonder he sat at the piano all day and skipped all the classes we had together.

Needless to say, first half of my game isn’t going well at all. I’m playing with anger and sadness and I know it. Everyone on my team knows it, Ari especially.

“Grey, what’s going on with you? Get your head in the game! We need you.” Ari grabs my shoulders and tries to shake some sense into me. That’s the problem though, everyone always needs me.

We’re down 1-0 against a team whom we never want to beat us. I need to get Becker out of my head and play my game.

Ari passes me the ball and I make it by the center back to be one on one with the goalie. She’s flustered, not knowing where I’m going to shoot and I take this opportunity to fake her out and send a rocket right into…The left goal post! Damnit! And the halftime whistle blows.

I’m letting my team down. I look up into the stands and Chase is slumped back in his seat. I’m letting him down too.

No one talks to me as I walk alone to our bench. I’ve never played so horrible. My coaches nor my teammates know what to say or do right now.

“Hey, Love?” Great, this is not what I need.

I turn around and Becker is standing there, leaning on a pair of crutches.

“You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie to you, Jack didn’t hurt me.” He looks me straight in the eyes.

I look down at his ankle. “When did that happen?”

“Last night.”

I can’t deal with this right now, so I turn away, ready to walk away but he grabs my arm, stopping me.

“It happened last night, but it was because I was being stupid. Jack didn’t lay a hand on me for once.”

I don’t say anything.

“I promise I’ll tell you everything tonight. Don’t think about me and focus on your game.”

I laugh and he releases my arm. “Don’t you get it? I do think about you, I always have and I always will. And do you know why?” He interrupts me before I can finish.

“Yes I do know.”

We both pause and stare at each other.

“I’m sorry B. I don’t want to act this way with you. It’s just, seeing you injured…I feel…I… ugh!” I need to tell him how I really feel. Instead, I decide empathy is better. “Are you okay?” I point to his wrapped up ankle.

“Just a sprain. I’ll be good as new in a few days,” he smiles.

“Grey, don’t play for me or anyone else. Go out there and play for you. Remember why you love this game and only focus on that.”

This is why I love him and why I’m so stressed out about losing him.

“I expect 3 goals this half,” he teases while hobbling back to the bleachers.

“I don’t see this as a fair bet anymore!”

“I’ll play if that will get you to score the goals!”

No way I want him playing with a sprained ankle.

“Fine, but don’t close your eyes or you’ll miss the awesomeness that’s about to happen,” I tease back only so I can see his beautiful smile light up his face, letting me know we’re alright.