Chapter 11
VANESSA POV
After the strip club, we hit Bamboo, five-floor levels and every level has a different type of music playing, it’s so much fun when I eventually roll into bed at about 4 am, I turn off my phone and fall asleep. I take some water and tablets to ease the hangover I know I am going to have. When I wake up I grab a hot shower trying to wake myself up. We all agree to meet in the lobby for today’s activities. I turn my phone back on to see a message from Logan. I read it but can’t bring myself to reply. I don’t want to talk to him or see him. My phone starts to ring and I look down and see his name, I send him to voicemail and turn my phone back off. I grab my jacket and make my way down to the Lobby and watch as Victoria talks to someone… oh f*uck off, why?
I hug and chat with my sister and then walk past, blanking him. Livid I start to walk off, he tries to catch up with me I can feel his hand and I turn around and give him a look that tells him not to fuck with me. He starts doing the bullshit male thing, I can explain myself… yeah out of it. I think after Derek I just have had enough of lying bastards, I don’t want to give Logan the chance to talk me around then the icing on the cake, Taylor appears all sweet smiles, I feel the tears sting at the corner of my eyes.
I can’t handle it so I just leave them, she can have him I am done. Refusing to let him ruin this weekend for us I turn around and plaster I smile on my face. “Right Victoria are you ready for today’s birthday fun? Victoria’s smile lights up her entire face “Yeah of course what are we doing?” Rachel bounces up and down. “Well after last night’s fun we decided that we would all do pole dancing lessons at the strip club from last night. So get your sexy on girls cause for one day only we are pole dancers. Victoria squeals almost bursting my ear drum “I LOOVVVVEEEE IT.”
We arrive at the club and get into our outfits. The club doesn’t open for a few hours and during the day they provide courses. I couldn’t wait to get the girls to do this and I knew Victoria would be up for giving it a go. Destiny from last night walks in. I can’t help but blush as she smiles at me. She starts talking us through the moves, we are all swirling around the poles. I am having so much fun, I get really into it and the few mimosa’s have given me an extra dash of confidence. Each of us has to do a solo performance, I go last and my nerves are getting the better of me as I stand looking down at all the girls.
I start working the pole to Baby Boy by Beyoncé. I’m loving every minute all the nerves I had melt away and I lose myself to the beat. The song fades and I hear whoops and whistles from all the girl’s. Destiny makes an announcement over the mic “we have a clear winner ladies and gentlemen, I give you the one the only VIXEN!!!!” I look down from the stage and all the girls are throwing fake money at me, I can’t help but laugh. What I happened to miss was that the other staff had started to arrive for their shifts.
Christian is standing at the bar leaning back watching me he gives me a cheeky grin before licking his lips. Holy fuck he saw me pole dancing. I come back to my seat and get my drink. My sister comes over with a new drink in her hand for me. “That was bloody amazing, Nessa holy shit you were so hot.” I feel a blush come over my body. “I can’t lie that was a bit of fun.” All the girls start singing happy birthday as Destiny and Christian carry over Victoria’s birthday cake, she blows out her candles. I try and slip away to the bathroom just needing a minute to gather myself. I hear someone come behind me.
“Well aren’t you full of surprises” I turn my head around to find Christian smile at me “I won’t be giving up my day job.” He comes up behind me and whispers in my ear. “No one has ever turned me on as much working the pole”. I can’t help but call him out. “Bullshit.” Christian gently takes my hand. “I told you last night, I don’t lie!” I can’t deny he is hot and sweet but I am not fucking him in a bathroom, this will not become my god damn party trick. “You had your phone off I tried to call you to organise our date” I smile at him. “You could have just sent a text.” He tips his head towards me. “Text you can have too much time to think, a phone call it’s instant!” I can’t help but laugh. “ Smart, I like it.” Christian pulls me closer to his body. “I had no idea you would be here today? so this works to my advantage.”
I try to flirt, I have no idea if I am even doing it right but I don’t care. “Yeah, how so?” he nuzzles my neck causing goosebumps on my skin. “Cause face to face I can read your body language and can ask you directly, Vanessa will you go on a date with me next Friday night?” I’m standing here fuck it does put you on the spot, I don’t think I just answer “Yes.”
Christian gives me a cheeky little nip of his teeth over my neck. “That’s my girl, 7 pm, Villa Italia send me your address I will come to pick you up.” He leans in and kisses my cheek and walks away, my heart is thumping out of my chest. I pull myself together and go back out to the girls. Why did I not say No? Fuck I’m such a mess. I feel I’m leaving a trail of male destruction behind me Derek cheating prick, Logan cheating prick Christian? With my track record maybe. It feels different but I’m not going to lie, I don’t trust my judgement with men anymore, maybe I could cancel the date. But deep down I don’t want to.
LOGAN POV
Vanessa hasn’t spoken to me in a few days now and there is a tension in the office now, that is no longer avoidable. I am sitting in my dad’s office and he stares at me before he asks something I was dreading. “Logan is there something between you and Miss Hartman?” I don’t want Vanessa to get in any trouble. “It’s not her fault, I met her before I started working here.” My dad stares at me with an unsure expression all over his face “What do you mean?” I let out a sigh. “We were kinda seeing each other.” My dad throws his pen on the desk. “For fuck sake Logan there is a policy in place that doesn’t allow this” I throw my hands up. “Dad it doesn’t matter, it’s over now, she won’t even speak to me”
My dad looks at me with concerned eyes “Let me guess, this is all about Taylor? I nod “Vanessa thinks I had sex with her, she saw us in the hotel it didn’t look good.” My dad is checking over the HR policy, to avoid any legal ramifications. We aren’t allowed to work alongside each other. My dad walks over to the office door. “Miss Hartman, can I see you in my office please?” I hear her voice and my heartbeat picks up the pace. “Yes, Mr Harris.” I watch as my dad leads her into the office and closes the door.
“Please come in, take a seat.” I just keep my head down, I can’t look at her. I’m so disappointed in myself, I care about Vanessa and I totally fucked it up. “Miss Hartman I am so sorry but due to the revelations that have come to my attention the PA position is now no longer available for Logan. Vanessa nods. “That’s fine, I was actually going to discuss this with you. I was hoping I could be transferred back to finance immediately. I don’t feel the PA position is working out for me. I’m sorry” My dad and I look at her and she looks away, she has tears in her eyes. She loves being my dad’s PA. This is all my fault and I have no idea how I fix this. I try to say something…anything “I … um…” Vanessa quickly speaks “If that is everything, I will get back to work.” My dad gives her a sad smile. “Thank you, Miss Hartman, as of tomorrow you can go back to the finance department. I appreciate all your help.”
Vanessa gets up and walks to the door, I go to get up and talk to her but my dad stops me. “Let her go” I glare at him “Dad…” he shakes his head at me and I can see the disappointment in his eyes “I mean it, Logan… you have done enough.”
Chapter 12
VANESSA POV
I walk out of the office before breaking into a run to the toilets. I slam the door shut and break down in a cubicle, I loved my new position but I can’t stand to see him every day be close to him, at least with the finance department he is never on that floor and I can get back to what I know best. I pull myself together and keep my head down sorting out everything for Mr Harris so he could hand over the position to anyone new coming in, I collect Jasmine from nursery and head home. As I’m getting out of my car, Logan pulls up next door. Oh please don’t try and talk to me. I am a little relieved when he just walks into his house. I put Jasmine to bed and curl on the sofa. At some point, it’s the middle of the morning and I wake up and make my way into the kitchen.
I look at the clock its 3 am. I start to make myself a cup of tea it always makes me feel better and right now I feel like shit how did things get so messed up. My phone pings and Logans name appears on the screen.
“I can’t sleep can we talk? I won’t come over, just see you are awake too.”
I contemplate not replying but he is going to be impossible to avoid so I start to write a text.
“I don’t know what there is to say?” I watch as the three dots appear and then his response.
“I know it looked bad but I swear there is more to it!” I don’t know why I care so much but if anything closure is always a good thing.
I text back. “Did you kiss her?”
My heart sinks as I read his answer. “Yeah twice, once I remember I pushed her away it should never have happened, second it’s fuzzy I don’t remember all the details!”
Apparently, it’s not enough I need to see the truth in black and white. “Did you have sex?”
My heart stops when I see the first word. “No, she drugged me she gave me GHB.”
What the hell is going on I can’t quite believe what I am reading. “Why didn’t you tell me that first?
I wait, needing him to explain more if he had of just said that things could have been different. “I was trying to explain everything, I’m so sorry.”
I sip my tea and write back. “I can’t believe she did that, that’s fucked up. Look we never were exclusive so I can’t be angry guess it was a shock, we were just seeing how it went! I think we should have just left it after that first night! Think I need to focus on myself for a while.”
I wait for what feels like forever and then my phone finally pings “If that’s what you want, after your Ex. I should have known better, I have fucked this up, can we at least be friends?”
Maybe this is for the best, Logan is too young he is on a completely different part of his life compared to me. “Well we are neighbours, we work together, why not add friends to the list.”
Apart of me feels that this is the right decision but there is that part that is screaming at me that I am making a huge mistake I smile as I see his message pop up “Thanks Vanessa, goodnight.”
I put my phone away and go back to bed for a bit, it’s not long before my alarm goes off and the day starts, I get ready for work and head back to my old desk. The rest of the week goes by drama free and I finally feel more myself. It’s Friday lunchtime shit I forgot my date with Christian. As if he was in my head my phone pings.
So tonight at 7 pm, where I’m I picking you up? I bite my lip this isn’t going to be nice but I have to do it.
“Hi, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to cancel, you’re a great guy but I’m not ready to date anyone right now”
My tummy does a flip when he replies. “Fuck I left it too long, I have the worse timing ever, maybe another time?”
Not wanting to completely shut him down I do a quick reply. “Yeah, maybe.”
I finish work and Derek is picking Jasmine up for the weekend. Victoria talks me into going out tonight since I cancelled my date, I need a girls night so this should be fun, I think its what I need. I shower and get my ready, I have my hair and make up all finished. I just finish zipping my dress when the front door knocks, I open it and find Derek standing there, I hand him the bags. His gaze travels up and down my body with a look I use to get a long time ago but I brush it off not in the mood for any of his shit.
Jasmine runs up hugging Derek. “Daddy, yeah daddy” Derek smiles at her “Hi pumpkin you ready?” Jasmine nods. “Just need teddy.” Derek turns his attention back to me. “So hot date tonight?” I turn around wishing Jasmine was back already I correct him. “Girls night actually!” Derek laughs “Where’s lover boy?” I look at him not giving him the satisfaction of upsetting me. “I’m just focusing on myself right now.”
Derek looks at my breasts and it makes me feel uneasy. “So he got bored?” I can feel the anger rise in my body. “You really are a piece of shi…” I get interrupted by Jasmine “Daddy ready”
Fuck what did I ever see in him, he is standing there looking at me, I know that look, it used to make me wet now it’s just freaking me the hell out. Thanks but no thanks. I smile at Jasmine “Ok sweet pea be good for daddy I will see you Sunday.” Jasmine gives me a big hug. “Bye mummy, I love you.”
I watch as Derek puts Jasmine in the car he looks back at the house, what the fuck, what’s he forgot, I open the front door, he walks directly at me. I don’t react quick enough he kisses me hard shoving his tongue down my throat. I push him back punching him hard in the face he pulls back and his nose pissing of blood. “Leave now you prick! Get in your car don’t ever touch me again.” He holds his nose smirking but finally turns around and heads to his car. I slam the door as he walks out what the hell just happened. I get into the taxi and go meet Victoria at the bar. I order a drink and gulp it down enjoying the burn of the amber liquid I start venting about what happened, she just smiles at me and tells me she has a surprise for me! “Victoria NO after the shit Derek pulled I’m not in the mood” Victoria grabs my hand pulling at me “Get in the mood this shit is happening it’s about time you took life by the balls, let your hair down and enjoy yourself, your confidence has been knocked, now come on.” She orders a taxi and we start the drive, we pull up to the strip club! “Vic I can’t be here!” Victoria yanks my arms pulling me out of the car.
“Oh yes you can, come on.” She pulls me in and her friends are already there! I look up at the bar he isn’t here sure he wouldn’t be, he was supposed to be on a date with me. I feel a little relieved, I order a drink and come back, Victoria is grinning from ear to ear and Destiny is standing beside her. I look at them hard, they are up to something “What’s going on?” Victoria comes over to me handing me a new drink “Well after your little display at my birthday we kinda thought you need to do another performance!” I scoff at her “You’re shitting me, nice joke haha!” Destiny smiles at me “You’re a natural, I talked to my boss she saw your moves and well she agreed to give you a one song spot tonight” I feel sick “How did you organise this on such short notice?” Victoria laughs “Never mind, now do it.” I down my drink “You’re fucking crazy I’m not doing this, it’s open. When we did it, it was closed and only us!!!” Destiny comes closer. “Between hair make-up and an outfit no one has to know who you are!” I pick up a drink I have no clue who it belongs to and take it down in one.
No one would know it’s me, it’s just one song, I have all the control! Derek making the comments about Logan being bored, him cheating on me. Something just snaps. “I’ll do it” Victoria jumps up and down clapping her hands “Whooo hooo that a girl” Rachel claps along grinning “I can’t wait to see this” Destiny takes my hand and leads me to a door at the side. “Let’s go we need to get you ready and song picked” I’m standing behind the curtain I walk on stage it’s pitch black I can only subtly make out the crowd. The song starts and my body just takes over, exactly like I did last time, I just listen to the music and work the pole. The song finishes and the place goes mental. I didn’t even notice how much money made its way onto the stage. My heart is beating so hard I practically run out the back and Destiny is waiting for me. “That was so hot, holy shit. I get back into my clothes trying to calm myself down. I’m walking back out to the girls when they come screaming over to me, my sister pulls me in for a hug. “Hot momma that was insane!” I smile at her and take the glass from her. “That was a lot of fun.”
I look at the bar and see Logan and Dean standing I go to turn around until I hear a voice I know too well, I don’t turn around. Logan is better than who is behind me. How small is this fucking world? I can hear Derek’s chat with Destiny. “How much for a private dance with that last girl?” Destiny politely answers “I’m sorry Vixen isn’t available that was a one time only thing, glad you enjoyed the show.”
Why is he not with Jasmine it’s his time with her and he is here looking private dances, Destiny comes strolling towards me with an envelope in her hand. “My boss has a gift for you, she says you are quite the money maker” I feel both Derek and Logan’s eyes bore into me when they see Destiny hand me the envelope, it’s clear to see they have worked out what just happened. Before I can turn on my heels and get the hell out of this place I hear my sister “Alright dickhead why are you here” Could this night get any worse. “My favourite ex sister in law I could ask you the same thing” Victoria waves around her. “Girls night what’s it look like, where exactly is my niece? Derek looks me up and down again. “It sure looks like something and Jazzy is fine” Victoria looks at me when she realises something is up she looks at Derek and then notices Logan behind me! Victoria mouths at me. “Oh f*uck.”
I start to walk towards the exit when I feel a hand go around my waist and a voice whispers in my ear. “I said it last time you are full of surprises. You have me worked up so much again, that made up for my shitty Friday night.”
Chapter 13
LOGAN POV
Dean talked me into going out tonight and after the week I have had I decided fuck it, I need a night out, what I wasn’t expecting was where he decided in his wisdom to take me. We walk into the strip club. Girls are waiting on tables some giving lap dances, Guys giving striptease’s and a stage right at the top with a pole a girl working on it. I go to a bar and order a drink. I then hear over the mic “Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you for one night only… Vixen” Lady Marmalade comes on and a soft spotlight hits a woman. I cannot take my eyes off her, she is lost in the song and loving every minute of it, Dean is waffling in my ear but I couldn’t give two shits what he is saying, for the full song she has my attention, her body sways, holy fuck her flexibility is insane. The outfit clings to every inch of her luscious body, black leather from head to toe and a masquerade mask covering her face the only thing visible is her stunning eyes and plump lips.
I’m struggling to calm myself down thankfully the club is dark enough. When the song ends I look at Dean and he just smiles at me. “I knew this was the right place to take you! She was incredible what I would do to her, given the chance.” I nod at my friend “Yeah, ok you where right, I was wrong. Thanks for cheering me up”. Dean, hands me a drink “You look like shit, was it that bad?” I down the drink and look at Dean “Between Taylor drugging me, Vanessa no longer willing to give me a chance and friend-zoning my ass, she’s not even working with me anymore she transferred. Yeah, it’s that bad, I’m going to get another drink you want one?”
Dean nods his head. “Yeah, please.” I’m waiting for the bartender when I see a face I wish the fuck I didn’t see, why is he here? As I look the other way I catch a glimpse of her, my heart starts pounding. All the girls rush over to her and start squealing at her, she looks stunning. I see the girl who was on the pole when we first came in she walks over to Vanessa I can’t make out fully what she says over the music but I hear the word money maker and she hands her an envelope… it can’t be. Vixen can’t be Vanessa. I start replaying the body on the stage, her sway her confidence I can’t stop looking at her. When I catch myself, I look behind her and it would appear dickless has possibly worked out what I suspect too.
Victoria catches a look at me and I see her mouth. “Oh fuck!” Vanessa starts making a speedy getaway for the exit. I want to go after her but when I move I see some random guy grab her waist. I just stand there and watch their interaction, wondering if I should intervene.
VANESSA POV
My body is completely betraying me right now when I said I wanted to focus on myself. I know who it is behind me and after my performance, I am feeling so horny and pumped on adrenaline I am in a mood for bad decisions!! I slap myself back to reality when I realise that not only is my ex-husband here but the guy I was seeing literally a week ago is also here and the guy I am supposed to be currently on a date with right now is digging into me with his impressive rock hard cock to my back.
“You look so sexy right now!” My body acts on impulse and I gently rub my body to his. “I thought you wouldn’t be here?” Christian starts to let his hands wander over my body. “I wasn’t supposed to be but some incredible women decided that she wasn’t really up for my company and my friends told me to call into work for a drink. So here I am, some might call it luck or fate. Vixen you have no idea what you do to me!”
I turn around and look directly at Christian. “How did you know it was me? I need to go!” Christian grips me tighter pulling me back to him. “I told you before no-one has ever got my worked up as much as you when I saw you last time. I memorised every curve of your body. Are you sure you don’t want to stay? I can always leave.” I let out a soft sigh. “No, it’s not like that, just remember last weekend and all my drama. He nods at me “Yeah, I remember, why?” I whisper to him “Well all my drama is here!” Christian lets out a laugh. “Vanessa, you have zero luck.” I try to get myself closer to the door hoping I can get out of here. “I swear it’s stressing me out, I’m supposed to be on this girls night with my sister and my ex’s are …” I try to finish my sentence when I hear my sister behind me. “Vanessa there you are, are you ok? this is so many levels of fucked up.” I smile at my sister. “You can stay, enjoy your night but yeah I need to leave!” My sister starts to pout at me “Nooooo stay please”
I wave my hands pointing behind me. “Do you see who’s here?” Victoria flings her hands in the air. “Fuck Derek and fuck Logan it’s girls night…” My sister loses her train of thought when she notices Christian. “Well hello there handsome! I remember you vaguely from last week, were you the bar-guy?” Christian smiles at her. “Yeah, good memory” Victoria tilts her head and puts her fingers to her lips tapping them. “Did I not get your number or something?”
I decide I don’t want to be apart of this awkward conversation. “Right well as fun as this has been I’m leaving now, Vic enjoy the rest of your night. I’m sure I will have you crash at my place with food tomorrow, so see you then.” I’m starting to get my phone out to dial a taxi, I’m standing outside ringing the taxi company when someone walks up behind me. “Hi there Vanessa imagine seeing you here?” I look at my Ex-husband with disdain “Where exactly is our daughter tonight? What’s the point in you having custody if you’re not with her!”
Derek comes closer to me “Look me and Cora had a fight am just blowing off steam, Jasmine is fine shes with my mother and I’m taking her to the zoo tomorrow so I do spend quality time with her, so get off my back!” I can’t help myself as I look at his face and notice the bruising. “How’s the face, you want to go round two with me? I suggest you fuck off.” Derek grabs my arm “I have to say I really I’m appreciating this feisty side of you, does it carry over into the bedroom?”
I’m going to either vomit all over him or seriously smash him in the face with my fist. I feel relief when I hear a familiar voice behind me. “Hi gorgeous sorry for getting held up! My truck is over here coming?” At that moment I will do anything to get away from Derek. “No worries at all, Thank you.” Derek looks at Christian and the anger is flaring around him “And who the fuck are you, can’t you see we are a little busy?” Christian just glares at Derek “I’m sorry but Vanessa and I have plans and we are running late so if you don’t mind already taking your fucking attitude elsewhere and while you are at getting your fucking hand off her.”
Derek finally lets go of my arm “This isn’t finished, Vanessa!” Christian goes closer to Derek. “Think you will find, now it is.” Christian grabs my hand and takes me over to his truck, he looks around to find Derek going back inside the club. He gently rubs my arm where Derek had manhandled me “Are you ok Vanessa?
I nod trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t know what has gotten into him, he is actually starting to scare me.” Christian looks at me like I’m glass ready to break “Would you like me to give you a lift home? I try to pull away I hate people seeing me vulnerable. “I can just get a taxi I don’t want to put you out!” Christian smiles at me bringing out his dimples god he is something else. “I’m offering it’s fine, I promise.” he takes my hand. “Ok, thank you.” Christian opens the door for me and I climb in. We sit in silence for a little while, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable he then breaks the silence. “So I’m guessing that was the ex-husband?” I smile at him “What gave it away?”
I watch as Christian chooses his words carefully. “Because it looks like he finally worked out what he has lost when he gave you up.” I laugh him off. “I have no interest in him ever again. I have moved on from him, I feel nothing! The only thing he gave me was Jasmine.” Christian leans in taken my hand putting me at ease. “So how old is Jasmine?” I feel calm and it’s nice for him to ask. “She’s three and the best thing to ever happen to me. She comes first above everyone else. Which is why I’m sorry I turned your date down tonight. I just have baggage that a guy like you doesn’t need in his life.”
All of a sudden he pulls over and puts his truck in park undoes my seatbelt and pulls me on top of him. “Stop right now. I don’t judge you, everyone has baggage all I know is that I really like you. I’m willing to wait until your happy with yourself and then I’m taking you for a date.” I am rendered speechless my heart is literally about to burst “Christian I …” Christian leans in and kisses me it’s tender and careful he isn’t pushing himself on me, I watch as he pulls back from me “You’re fucking amazing the first night I saw you I knew you were different… special. Just as long as you know I’m here when you’re ready that’s all I need for now.”
We pull up to my house, he comes to open my door and takes my hand, we are walking up to my front door and I turn around to look at him. “Thank you so much for the lift I appreciate it plus helping me get rid of Derek, you are a lifesaver” Christian gives my hand a little squeeze “Anytime at all Vanessa, it was no problem.”
I look at his crystal blue eyes. “Well, goodnight” I go to put my key in the door, I turn around and he is almost at his car. I run down to him. Christian turns around looking as surprised as I am “Are you ok?” I struggle to find my words. “No… yes… I mean…”
I stand on my tips toes and kiss him, at first he doesn’t react and I freak out. I go to pull away but he grabs my hips and pushes me back onto his truck. He deepens the kiss and his tongue is twirling around mine, I’m so close to climbing him, his hands start to wander up my body, he is the first guy in history not to cop a feel of the ladies instead he places both hands either side of my face and pulls away from my lips resting his head on mine.
“I want you so bad but after the night you have had, I’m afraid it would be full of regrets in the morning for you, so I’m going to get in my truck, you’re going to go inside your home and when you’re ready for a date you are going to send me a text or call me, I’ll be waiting patiently.”
He pulls me back in for a goodbye kiss, I can’t help myself I moan into it he gives me a little growl. We both want this to go further but we are both resisting each other. His kiss has worked me up to another level. I’m fantasising about how good he would be in bed I have felt his hard cock press against me and that thing is so big. I was dying to wrap my hand around it but I have to remember I am in the middle of the street. Where my neighbours could see. Christian gets into his car I watch as he drives away, I touch my lips still tingling from that kiss, he is amazing and he makes me smile. Walking back up to my house I notice a figure standing waiting there.
“How long have you been there for? How much did you see?”
Chapter 14
LOGAN POV
I watch as Vanessa walks away with the guy I jump in a taxi not long after. Dean flaked on me again. I wasn’t really in the mood anymore, As I paid for the taxi I walked into my house. I finally move out at the end of the month. I got myself my own place closer to work. My mum is gutted to be on her own but she understands my reasoning. I’m standing in the kitchen drinking a beer when I see headlights stop next door. I watch as Vanessa walks up to the door with this guy, it hurts seeing her with him but they could just be friends… right? He walks away heading back to his truck, I feel happy that she didn’t bring him in, I need to talk to her and I can’t wait any longer.
I walk out the back and head towards her door, fuck she never went in, I see her pushed up against his truck and they are kissing. I am gutted to see her with him. I’m jealous as hell but my feet won’t move. Deep down all I want to do is move down there rip this guy from her and claim her as mine. I can’t move, my body is frozen, eventually, she pulls away and watches him drive away. I watch as she moves back to the house looking up she finally sees me standing, waiting. “How long have you been standing there? How much did you see?”
“I’m sorry, I just needed to talk to you, I know you said …” I watch as she shakes her head. “Stop Logan, let’s …” I plead with her. “No please I really really like you, I fucked up massively” Vanessa sighs. “Can we do this inside please!” She opens the front door as she walks into the kitchen, I follow her. “Can I get you a drink?” I nod. “Yes please.” She pulls out a bottle of wine and pours us a glass each. “I really need to ask you a question” Vanessa sets her glass down. “Ok, go.”
“Are you…..Were you Vixen tonight?” Vanessa laughs at herself. “So much for keeping it a secret and no one knowing, the three people I have been involved with worked it out and the one and only night I decide to do it you are all in attendance!”
I set my glass beside hers “Why did you do it? I mean you are incredible it was kinda a punch to the face for me!” Vanessa tilts her head. “Derek said some shit earlier, your actions, what you did last weekend. I just needed to take the control back.”
I nod. “It was just a kiss you have to believe me, the first one was a mistake on my part it wasn’t even a proper kiss more a lingering peck. The rest I seriously can’t remember but to see your face the next morning I saw how much it hurt you. I would never intentionally do that. We have only known each other a few weeks but I really care about you, those feelings are not going away, this last week has really taken it out of me. I actually have a new place, I’m moving out the end of the month, to give us both space. Vanessa …”
I look at her she can’t bring herself to do the same. “Look at me.” She does as I ask. I start to walk towards her and lean into her body my hand goes to her hip. “I’m so sorry for everything, I just wish I could take it all back it would never have happened she was an old friend I never thought she would betray me in such a way, not after Dean.”
I start to walk to towards the door I look back at her she’s looking down at her hands, I never believed when people told me that when you love someone you would just know, that in most cases it’s instant. I needed her to know, if I never said it I would live with the regret. “Vanessa I … I love you.”
She looks up at me when I say it, I can tell she is battling with herself. I’m battling, not to make a move. I don’t want to leave but I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I grab the door handle. I don’t hear her follow me and I sink my head down, the next thing I feel her body heat on my back I slowly turn around and look her in the eyes.
“Don’t go!” I kiss her like it’s our last, pushing her up against the wall, I let her down sliding her body down mine. I start to trail kisses down her body, she moans as I remove her clothes, letting my hands glide over the silky skin she smells of coconut, I can’t get enough. “I will never get enough of you Vanessa. Please don’t tell me to stop”
Vanessa looks at me with lust glazed eyes. “Logan I want you.” I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. I slip my hands into her underwear and let my fingers dance along her opening. “Vanessa you are so wet.” her voice comes out as a sultry whisper. “Logan I have missed you.” I break away from her and smile. “I missed you too sweetheart.”
I dip two fingers inside of her, I watch as she arches her back and moans, fuck that is music to my ears. I make a promise to myself there and then, not to fuck this up she is everything to me, after such a short time I just can’t be without her. “Logan I’m going to …” I keep stroking and licking. “Come for me baby.. this is just the start.” She comes undone around my fingers. I watch as she comes down from her orgasm and I place a condom around my hard cock. I lift her so she’s in my lap and I lower her onto me inch by inch, I feel everything. “Fuck Vanessa you feel so good.”
She starts to pick up the pace and moves up and down my shaft. I’m kissing her softly enjoying every second this is so different than the other times we have had sex I’m pouring my heart into this. I take my time worshipping every inch of her until I feel her close. “Ohhhhh Logan right there” I can feel my balls tighten and I know I’m not going to last much longer. “Vanessa I’m going to come…” I feel her breath on my neck and hear her soft voice. “I’m right there.”
We both come and I can barely focus as I slow my movements to a near halt, I’m panting hard with her forehead to mine. I don’t want to move her I just keep her there a little while longer. “Vanessa…”
Vanessa catches her breath and grabs my face with both hands and looks into my eyes like she is trying to see into my soul. “I love you too, It’s crazy I was so angry last weekend but we weren’t exclusive and you never lied to me, you told me the truth right away… please if I give you my heart don’t break it!”
I gently kiss her. “I have learnt my lesson the hard way I will never do anything as stupid again!” I sigh a little with relief. “Vanessa, do you forgive me?”
Vanessa nods her head and gives me a smile. “I forgive you, Logan.” I lean her back on the bed and kiss her tenderly never wanting to let her go. Eventually, she cuddles into me, her head resting on my chest. I feel as she draws circles with her fingers on my chest. I move my fingertips up and down her back. I can hear raindrops hit against her window, We just sit in silence listening to the pitter-patter of rain. If this was my heaven I would be a happy man.
I wake up to find Vanessa still cuddled into me she sleeps so beautifully I can’t take my eyes off her. After a while, I feel her start to waken. “Good morning sweetheart”
Vanessa looks up and smiles. “Hey, handsome.” I bite my lip not really wanting to ask this question but I have to know the truth “So any regrets?” Vanessa shakes her head and I feel my body ease. “None at all!”
Wanting to clear everything up and leave nothing unresolved I spill my heart. “I want to do this right Vanessa I know we said last time you wanted to take things slow because of Jasmine, but I’m ready for you, with everything that comes with that, I know you think my age will get in the way but I promise you I am ready just give me a chance, I will not let you down again.”
Vanessa looks at me a thousand questions written all over her face. “What are you saying?” I take her hand. “Vanessa Hartman be my girlfriend” I take off my bracelet and wrap it around her wrist, I lean in kissing the top of her forehead. Vanessa looks at the bracelet tracing her fingers over it. “Ok, let’s give this a proper go!” She gets up and gives me cheeky wink before grabbing my hand and leading me into the shower with her. The water and soapy bubbles cascade down our body’s. I have my chest to her back. I slightly bend her over so I can enter her from behind, her hands grip the tile wall and I fuck her hard and fast. Her walls clench around my cock and I feel my balls tighten unloading inside her. I turn her around to look at her. “You are incredible!”
Vanessa stands on her tippy toes giving me a quick peck. “I’m really hungry now” I laugh. “How about some breakfast my treat an Ulster fry!” Vanessa cocks her eyebrow at me. “What is that?” I smile at her. “You are in for a treat one of the joys of having Irish in the family here let me take care of you.” We both get dressed and take her out to a place that looks after Irish food the Pit Stop.
I order us two Ulster Fry’s, the waitress sets the plates in front of us and I watch as Vanessa takes in the food in front of her. “So what exactly is all this?” I grab my fork and point. “Ok, so you have bacon, eggs, Irish soda bread, Irish potato bread, pancake, sausage and tomato all fried and a decent cup of hot tea! Taste of home! I will have to let you try a lunchtime delicacy of Tayto cheese and onion crisp sandwich you haven’t lived until you try one of those”
Vanessa looks at me and giggles, she tucks into the breakfast and moans, “Omg the potato bread is a new love of mine.” I laugh “Life-changing right?” We chat over breakfast. It’s just like it used to be no awkwardness at all, its like the slate got wiped clean and I am the luckiest bastard alive. “Vanessa, if you are free would you like to have a date day?”
Vanessa finishes the last of her tea and sets her cup down. “Ok what you have in mind?” I carefully think about what I want to say next. “Actually I was hoping, we could include Jasmine I was thinking a day at the amusement park would let me get to know her, I know you are hesitant to let her get close to anyone you’re dating but I really don’t plan on going anywhere.”
I see the sadness in Vanessa’s eyes as she looks at me. “I don’t know, I want to say yes but we just got together can we maybe just give it a few weeks please, it’s not a no it’s just a later.” I can’t lie a pang of disappointment flickers in me but I understand her concerns. “Ok I can respect that, I’m going to have to tell my dad about us though with the whole fraternising in the company. Are you comfortable with that?”
Vanessa takes my hand. “Yeah, of course, I don’t want to get in trouble it’s not like we met there.” I give her hand a little squeeze. “So Monday morning we can go to his office and have a chat and just make it clear.” Vanessa nods and we leave the cafe.
For the rest of the weekend, we spend the time together, I was about to leave when Derek arrives with Jasmine. He just looks at me like I am a piece of shit on his shoe. “What the hell are you doing, did you not get bored?”
Before I get a chance to give him a smart ass comment back Jasmine comes running up to us. “Mummy, mummy, daddy said he is going to buy me a pony for my birthday”
Vanessa looks at Derek “Did he now”
Derek glares back at her. “I need to talk to you about our custody order!”
Chapter 15
Logan POV
I’m sitting across from my dad tapping my foot on the floor, I’m just waiting for Vanessa to arrive and then we need to clear all this up once and for all. I hear a soft knock at the door and then her voice, my heart starts to race as she walks towards us. “Hi, Mr Harris” my dad looks to me and then to Vanessa. “Please Miss Hartman, take a seat. So would you both like to explain to me what this meeting is about?”
I just rip the band-aid off. “Dad, I would like you to meet my girlfriend” My dad looks at me and I can see his frown line form on his face. “I thought this was done?” I hold Vanessa’s hand in mine. “We had a chat over the weekend and cleared everything up! I promise it won’t affect work, we can keep this professional!”
Vanessa gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t want to complicate things so I will remain on the finance floor and we won’t cross paths during working hours.”
My dad nods his head and looks at us both with a warning in his eyes. “Just so you are both aware once this comes out staff are going to start talking are you ready for that? They won’t buy into you two meeting before you started here son.”
I sit up straight in defiance. “I really don’t care, my private life and professional life are just that, separate.” I reach out to hold Vanessa’s hand again, she squeezes it tight.
My dad gives us a small smile. “Well I respect you both for being honest I will go to HR and inform them of this, the fact it did start before you officially worked here is your one and the only loophole so don’t mess up”
Vanessa leaves and heads to her desk, I watch her leave as I look back around I see my dad looking concerned. “I hope you know what you are doing? Your only Twenty Three she has a lot of baggage, are you sure you don’t think this is just one of your phases!”
I shake my head frustration rising in my body. “Fuck sake dad you make it sound like I’m a kid! I’m twenty-three but I know exactly what I’m doing and what I want, you already had me at my age. I feel bad for her Derek demanded she comes over to his place tonight to discuss the custody agreement.”
My dad stands up coming over to me. “Is he doing this for genuine reasons or is he pissed she has moved on?” I shake my head. “I don’t know what his game plan is, but I don’t trust the bastard.” My dad pats me on the shoulder. “Just watch your step, son.”
When I’m finished work I walk down to my car I see Vanessa with Jasmine. “Hi Logy” I smile at her. “Hi jazz, how are you?” she waves a piece of paper at me. “Very well I drew a picture today” she hands me it. “Wow, it’s amazing” Jasmine rocks back and forth. “Yeah, I hope you like elephants” I look at her drawing. “I love elephants he looks just like Dumbo.” Jasmine gasps in shock “Do you love dumbo too? I lean down to her level. “It’s one of my favourite Disney movies!” Jasmine smiles at me “Mine too, will you watch it with me?” I give her back her drawing. “Of course we can watch it together, just name the day, I will call you later Vanessa. Bye Jazz” Vanessa smiles but there is something in her eyes I haven’t seen before with me, almost hope that this between us with Jasmine could work. “Bye logan” Jasmine whips back around to me. “Bye Logy.”
I watch as she drives away, I start to pack my stuff up I get to move into my new apartment this weekend the contract went through quicker. Vanessa agreed to help me move in. I’m drinking a beer when my phone goes off feeling uneasy knowing she was with Derek I look down and see her message.
He now wants 50/50 I’m glad for Jasmine but gutted I will miss her so much. He was actually stupidly nice about it.
I reply back. so it went well there was no secret alterer motive?
Vanessa texts back right away. No, and Cora wasn’t there either
I smile glad that it went well I know it was stressing her out.
Glad it went well sweetheart, I will let you go see you soon.
The next few days go by so quickly, Vanessa has been having a rough few days at work since the news came out about us and I feel helpless.
VANESSA POV
Everyone has been whispering behind my back. After working as long as what I have they should no better. I go to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall. I won’t cry. They won’t get to me. I hear the bathroom door open and two women carrying their conversation into my space. “Well talk about fucking your way through management.” I hear the second woman ask. “You think she had them both?” I hear a scoff. “Well, why else would she work as his PA, then as soon as she shags the son moves back into her old position any money says she will be Logan’s PA soon.”
I fight back the tears as the conversation continues. “Logan can do so much better, she’s too old for him, he needs someone young and fun!”
“I bet you he will stray he can’t be faithful dating a mum she doesn’t have time to date and she’s probably too tired to screw.”
I hear a giggle. “What I would do to him”
I’m sitting there no longer sad and pathetic the tears no longer fall. I am raging how fucking dare they assume shit about me… fuck this. I slam open the stall both their faces fall.
“Have you something to say to me?” one of them turns to me. “We all know you fucked both, the question is who is better?” I glare at her. “How the hell would I know I was Mr Harris’ PA not his fuck toy” The second woman grabs her friends arm. “Come on let’s just go!” I turn to her “I’m guessing your friend here doesn’t know your dirty little secret?” she looks at me “Come on I’m not listening to this” her friend looks at her “What secret?” I look between the two. “I will let your friend be the gem of that information, shouldn’t go throwing stones in glass houses.” I hear her mutter under her breath. “You bitch” I walk towards her leaning into her ear, I whisper “You shut your mouth or I will start singing like a canary all about your dirty weekend !! Remember I’m the one who booked the hotel and flights. I never said anything at the time but if I catch you talking shit I will tell everyone!!”
I have no intention of doing that, Mr Harris trusted me and my discretion but she doesn’t have to know that. I give them a dirty look before storming out of the door “Now if you will excuse me I have work to do.”
LOGAN POV
I catch Vanessa storming out of the ladies. Her eyes are puffy, I look around me, I quickly catch up to her and grab her, I push her gently into a conference room and lock the door. “What the hell happened?”
Vanessa is beyond upset right now “It’s handled” I look at her imploring her to tell me what the fuck is going on “What’s handled please tell me?” she just snaps at me. “Logan I can fight my own battles, it doesn’t matter that should be that situation sorted now.”
I come closer to her. “Vanessa I’m not joking tell me what happened?” She starts to tell me all about what just happened, I reach out and grab her hips and pull her into me.
“You did that? I’m really pissed off but extremely turned on right now, fuck how you handled that, so hot.”
Vanessa whispers. “Logan we can’t” I look towards the door. “Actually you will find it’s lunch so we are on our time and I am hungry.” I start to move my hands up her legs and right towards her panties. “Shit so ready! I push her towards the conference desk, I set her on top of it pushing her dress up and sliding her panties down her luscious legs. I bunch her panties in my hands. “These are mine.” I spread her legs and sweep her entrance with my tongue. “Oh fuck” I grip her hips “This is mine, All mine” my cock is rock hard in an instant as Vanessa screams “Yes!” I tease her with my tongue. “Yes. what?”
Vanessa grabs my hair bringing me back to lunch. “Yes, it’s yours” I lap up her juices with my tongue I can feel her body quake. “Fuck me, Logan” I bite my lip. “I love it when you say my name”
Vanessa looks at me with a pout on her face. “Please, Logan” I slip out the condom from my wallet and roll it on not wanting to waste a minute longer, I slam into her again and again. “Sweetheart this is going to be hard and fast.” I watch as Vanessa tries to grip the desk. “Fuck…Me…Harder.” I slide her off the table and turn her so she is bent over the desk. I slam into her, each thrust hitting her sweet spot, she screams and tries to muffle her cries.
I feel my cock start to throb. “I’m going to come.” I hear her pant “I’m close don’t stop.” I keep pounding her as I feel myself empty my warm seed, I keep slipping in and out, her pussy gripping my cock. “You are insatiable Vanessa” She’s panting beneath me. I slip myself from her giving her ass a cheeky spank. “Sorry sweetheart back to work.” She giggles and looks up at me. “Same time tomorrow for lunch?”
I tidy myself up slipping my cock back into my boxers. “I have to say that was quite the lunch break we have to come back here.” I help her with her clothes and I sort the last bits of myself out. I look out the door to make sure it’s clear. “You can go first.” Vanessa slips out and I wait a few minutes, I step out of the meeting room my face still flushed.
I hear a voice come from behind me. “Good meeting?” I look at Dean. “What are you doing here?” Dean walks with me while I make my way back to my office, “Just wanted to see if you fancied going out for drinks after work?” I nod and shrug my shoulders. “Yeah sure, why not?” I meet Dean at the bar after work I find him waiting for me with a beer. “So what’s the deal with you and the conference room you looked awful chilled for a meeting?”
I take a drink of my beer. “Just had a lunch date that’s all” Dean cocks his eyebrow. “Bullshit, so who’s the lucky lady?” I smirk. “My girlfriend.” Dean laughs at me. “Yeah right…what the fuck, what have I missed?” I explain it all to him. “Well after the whole Taylor drama, Vanessa stopped talking to me but I couldn’t let her go so a few days ago we cleared the air and I asked her to be my girlfriend.”
Dean pats my back hard. “Holy shit no way! Well, I’m happy for you.” I can’t stop the smile on my face. “She’s amazing I can’t imagine a day without her, she’s funny, smart and a whole lot of sexy,” Dean smirks at me speaking into his drink. “Is her sister still available?” I spit out my beer “After your fuck up last time I think you blew your chance!” We have a few beers and I send Vanessa a text.
I miss you can I call over for “dinner” I smile as I read her reply.
I’m sure I could sort you out for dinner Derek has Jasmine. I’m catching up with Victoria, what you up to?
I text. Having a beer with Dean
I hear my phone ping I’m about to check when a hand grabs me I hear two female voices. “Hi, Logan” I politely smile. “Hey” I recognise these two from the office. Dean wastes no time turning on the charm. “Hello, darlings what can we do for you?” I watch as the blonde stares at Dean licking her lips. “You can buy us a drink for starts” I don’t want to engage in this so I leave Dean to it. I check my phone there is a message from my woman.
Where you drinking we could meet up and head to my place?
I smile she is exactly what I want right now.
We are at the leaky tap
My heart speeds up knowing I will be with her.
See you soon xo
I hear a whiney voice. “You know it’s rude to be on your phone around gorgeous company.” I fake a smile at her. “Sorry I was just talking to my girlfriend” the blonde turns her attention to me. “Oh yeah and who is that then?” I know they already know the entire building has made it their business. “Vanessa from finance we have been together a while now” I hear a scoff from the redhead. “Isn’t she a bit old for you?” I take personal insult to that question. “Excuse me?”
The blonde chirps up again. “Yeah, you need someone young and fun like us” She starts to rub her hand up and down my arm I look at her hand. “I would suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”
The redhead places her hand in my lap. “Come on we know we tempt you, how would you feel getting out of here and having our own little party.”
I remove her hand and glare at her. “I think you didn’t hear me when I said I have a girlfriend”
Dean finally speaks up. “Ladies, ladies I think we can go party somewhere else” The blonde takes a drink from Deans beer and smiles. “I like that idea what did you have in mind?”
Dean puts his arm around her. “How about we finish this drink and we all come back to mine?”
The redhead looks at Dean and then to Me. “I am up for that, that could be a lot of fun, right Logan?”
I answer her question with sarcasm. “Yeah, that sounds fantastic fun.” I lean in closer to her. “But I will pass I have a better offer”
She crosses her arm over her chest with a face like thunder and I hear a voice that sends my dick into overdrive. “And that offer is standing right here, hey baby.”
Vanessa looks at both the girls at our table. “Did you two not fucking learn your lesson, I’m not above bitch slapping you both!” Dean looks at me. “Dude, what the hell is going on?” I look right back at him shrugging. “That’s what I need to know, Vanessa?”
Vanessa stands with her hands on her hips. “These are the two-faced bitches from the toilets!” Victoria walks up behind Vanessa catching the conversation. “Oh shit really?” Victoria pins the redhead up against the table. “Yeah and what you have been fucking them both, imagine shagging both the father and son your such a whore” the blonde screams at Vanessa.
My face falls and I look at the blonde. “You have got to be kidding me” she laughs. “Yeah everyone talks about it, how did you not know?” I’m looking at Vanessa and she’s looking right at me.
I shout at her. “Is it true?” I see the rage in her face. “How fucking dare you! If you even need to ask me that, you clearly don’t know me!” She storms off, I stand there looking at Victoria. I can hear the two girls laugh behind me. “Lucky escape if you ask me, we can make you feel better?”
Victoria glares at me. “You’re a grade-A asshole you don’t deserve her!” she walks off shoving me in the chest. Dean looks over at me. His face says it all. “Dude seriously you can’t be that fucking stupid. Girls thanks but I think it’s safe to say I’m about to dodge two bullets” I look at my friend. “Dean what’s that suppose to mean!”
He shakes his head. “I may be an asshole but let me tell you this much women like Vanessa don’t fuck around with just anybody. Even I know that she would never fuck your dad, can’t believe that you even hesitated. I think you have screwed every chance with Vanessa now.”
He walks up to the bartender and orders another drink. What the hell have I done?
Chapter 16
LOGAN POV
Weeks later…
I know I fucked up it seems to be my mission to be a complete cock when I think I have my shit sorted. Vanessa took some leave off work and well since I’m no longer her neighbour we haven’t actually crossed paths, I tried to call over but Victoria made sure I got nowhere near her, her exact words to me “you’re like a fucking cat and you are quickly losing your nine lives”. She won’t answer my texts, emails or calls she actually has gone as far as to either block my number or get a new number. I feel like shit without her why would I even think as little as to consider she would do anything like that. Safe to say I have lost the one girl I have ever truly loved, I am giving her space in a hope that she will hear me out yet again. I’m standing in the lobby when I see her with a guy. He is walking her to the front door. He leans in towards her they hug, he then grabs her hand and holds it. I just see red I can’t take this anymore we haven’t exactly broken up so why is she all over him
“What the fuck?” I just punch the guy in the face, he wrestles with me on the ground getting a fair few punches in himself. “LOGAN… CHRISTIAN STOP!!” Christian has my collar and brings me to his face. “You don’t fucking deserve her!” I spit back. “What the fuck do you know.” We are still scrapping and a crowd has gathered around us. I stop when I hear a voice bellow. “ENOUGH! Logan and Miss Hartman my office, RIGHT NOW.” I pick myself up off the ground, I storm into the building I turn around and see Vanessa crying, people whispering around us, I wipe my lip and there is blood down my shirt. I get into my dad’s office nearly taking it off the hinges!!! “SIT DOWN!” my dad scolds me. Vanessa sits in the chair not making eye contact. “Someone had better explain to me what that was about”
We both sit in silence and then I hear her soft voice. “My friend Christian had to give me a lift into work my car broke down. He walked me to the door, as he was going to the coffee shop across the street, Logan hit him!”
My dad glares at me. “Is that true?” I just nod my head. “He was too close to you, we haven’t broken up and you’re with another guy!” Vanessa bows her head. “It’s not like that at all, I’m done, we are just friends!” My head snaps up to look at her. “What you mean done?” My dad stands. “I will give you a few minutes of privacy.”
Vanessa fiddles with her fingers. “This it’s over, it was a mistake to make this into something, you’re twenty-three and you act it. I don’t need another man in my life constantly making me cry, so Logan you and I are over!” I plead with her. “Don’t do this please I love you.”
Vanessa finally looks me in the eyes. “I learned a long time ago that sometimes I love you isn’t enough it’s just words and your actions scream something entirely different.” She gets up to leave
“Goodbye Logan” the door clicks, I didn’t even realise that my dad had walked in. He places his hand on my shoulder as I hang my head. “I really fucked it up” I hear my dad’s voice. “Not to sound like a prick for a dad but you acted twenty-three. You let your emotions get in the way and jumped to conclusions! I warned you, you weren’t ready for a relationship with her!”
I watch as my dad sits in front of me. “Logan we need to have a serious chat, you need to get away from here.” I nod my head. “Yeah think a break would do me a world of good” My dad shakes his head. “No Logan, you’re not hearing me, I need you to go and run the New York office, it’s expanding and I need someone I can trust to handle it.”
I look at him puzzled. “For how long?” My dad sits up straight. “For as long as I need you there, minimum a year.”
I stand up leaning over the desk. “You’re fucking sending me away? you are shitting me!”
“Son this is for the best you need a fresh start, a fresh perspective, Vanessa ending things is a perfect time.”
I sit back down letting out a breath. “But I have my apartment here, my friends are here, Vanessa is here.” My dad just looks at me trying to make me see sense. “You’re so young, so here is some valuable advice you will make new friends and there will be more Vanessa’s”
I shout at him “No there won’t !” My dad shakes his head. “You say that now, I will handle your apartment while you’re gone, we can rent it out if need be!” I can’t believe this is happening
“Can I think about it?” My dad raises his voice. “Logan one day you’re going to be handed this business, I am giving you this don’t blow it, it’s not up for discussion and after today’s little performance you can’t be here anymore.”
“You’re serious?” My dad looks directly at me, this no longer a discussion. “You leave in two weeks. I will have a new apartment sorted for you and James the office manager will help you find your feet.” I am lost for words I get up and slam the door, part of me needs to see Vanessa but the other part sends me to my office licking my wounds, what have I done?
The next two weeks fly by, I had to pack up all my shit again, I avoided Vanessa I am sure she heard by now I was leaving but she made no attempt to contact me what so ever. She really was done with me! I’m at the bar looking around at all the faces, Dean decided to throw me a going-away shindig, my mum even came and all my friends are there. My mum walks over and pulls me in for one of her many hugs. “I’m really going to miss you, but listen to me, this will do you a world of good you will grow and learn from this experience. I’m truly sorry about you and Vanessa but your dad was right you weren’t ready!”
I look down at my beer. “I wish people would stop saying that to me.” My mum tugs me in closer. “One day you will see it for what it is,” Dean shouts. “Logan come on make a toast.” A toast is the last thing I want to make considering this was not my fucking call. “Thank you, everyone, for being here it means the world to say a proper goodbye, here is to new beginnings in NYC.” Everyone raises their glasses …. “to new beginnings.”
Everyone is leaving now and I am outside getting in my taxi, I gave him an address when we reach the destination I sit and watch the house. I contemplate going and saying goodbye but I see her dancing around in the living room with Jasmine and I can’t bring myself to get out. “Sorry mate changed my mind can you take home.”
The next day I’m standing in the airport. Dean, my mum and dad all come to see me off. My mum pulls me in for a hug the tears slipping down her cheek. “Bye honey I will see you soon for a visit” My dad comes across shaking my hand. “Logan do me proud, I know the New York office is in safe hands now is your time to show me you got what it takes like your mum said we will be over for a visit and I will be working between the offices. Goodbye son”
Dean is the last one to see me off. “Can’t believe you’re going man what I’m I going to do without my wingman?” I laugh. “Bullshit you never needed my help anyway… well see you soon if you ever fancy seeing the big apple come on over!!”
I turn around and make my way through security I get to the departure gate and wait. The announcement comes across the speaker.
Could all passengers travelling on flight E2134 to New York please go to gate 23.
I get my phone out and make one last call before my flight, I have to leave her a message. Hi, you have reached the extension of Vanessa Hartman please leave a message.
“Vanessa I am so sorry for everything I put you through I really am a dickhead. I wish things ended on a nicer note I hate that I haven’t seen you and now I’m leaving. If you ever feel like giving us a chance in the future, I would like that. I will always love you, bye.”
I make my way to the departure gate and get on my flight not looking back anymore. I had a fresh start coming my way whether I wanted it or not.
VANESSA POV
I can’t talk to him or see him, I don’t trust myself to make the right decision I love him but it’s not good enough. I have lost so many years to men who make me feel shit. This was the right call to make. My sister takes a sip of her coffee. “Are you sure you don’t want to go say goodbye he is having a going-away party today?” I stare at my sister. “How do you know all this? Victoria shrugs. “A little birdy told me!” I set my mug down. “Dean?”
Victoria nods and smiles. “Yes, Dean.” I bite my lip. “I can’t do it” I have never seen my sister this way before normally she is the one demanding I burn bridges to the fucking ground. “But he is leaving and Nessa he might not actually ever come back, I know what he did was wrong but what do you expect he is twenty-three, his girlfriend cheated on him, fucked his dad you know shit like that messes people up.”
I sigh. “Don’t! I get it but he is too young for me he proved that it was only supposed to be a one night stand, maybe in a few years if things are different.” The concern is all over my sister’s face as she watches me closely. “If you say so?”
Monday morning I get to work I see my phone flashing I press play on my message… I hear his voice and panic to pause it, my hands start to shake. I leave it there as I try to distract myself by keeping busy. I have my head down when I hear my name being called I turn around and a guy is standing there with a bunch of flowers and a box. As I set the flowers and box on the desk, I reach to play the voicemail I hear his voice, I hear his words and I start to cry.
Then I listen to his last words. “I will always love you.” I open the box and see a heart necklace. I wish things had been different it just feels like it was all the wrong timing. I listen to the message again and press save. I quickly make my way to the bathroom in the need of a breather grabbing the box with me as I reopen the box and stare down tracing my fingers around the heart, I open the clasp and put the necklace on. I love Logan but it just wasn’t meant to be, not right now.
I go back to my desk I look at my mobile and I contemplate unblocking his number, my fingers hover over it but I remind myself that we both need a fresh start, if it was meant to be, fate would bring us back together again but for now, it was better this way.
Chapter 17
LOGAN POV
2 YEARS LATER…
When I first came to New York I did go off the rails with drinking and sleeping around. I slept with women just because I wanted the company I always imagined Vanessa when I was with the women, no one meant anything to me it was just a fuck. We have had zero contact since I left, Dean was able to tell me about her, as he started to date Victoria. To say I was shocked was an understatement but Dean really matured in the last two years.
Dean came out to visit me after a few months and gave me an update on how everything was back home. I was so annoyed when I first heard what Derek did to Vanessa, not long after I left, he called Vanessa saying he urgently needed her, she thought something had happened to Jasmine, apparently, when she arrived he was in the house by himself he tried to fuck Vanessa, but she had enough of his shit so she played along, he guided her to the bedroom where she got him to strip, blindfolded him, handcuffed him to the bed, she then marked his torso with lipstick, sent a text to Cora on his phone and walked out.
I spat my drink out when Dean told me I was so impressed by her. Mum has started dating a nice guy called Robert she brought them both for a visit a few months back. I gave her my blessing he treated her well and I was glad she had someone to make her happy.
Dad is still a workaholic and has been back and forth to make sure New York was being handled well, it was rocky at the start with my drinking and womanising but I finally wised up and started to focus on my career. Dad is actually due to land any minute we have a huge meeting today and if I land this contract it’s a game-changer.
“Hi, Logan are we all ready?” I smile. “Of course everything is ready!” We go into the meeting and my dad lets me take the lead. I get my game face on and blow it out of the park. My dad comes up to me and congratulates me. “New York has been the making of you, how do you feel about being here or do you want to come home?” I think about it. “I like New York, there would only be one reason I would come home!”
My dad looks at me and his face tells me I have missed something significant. Recently Dean and I had lost contact, we still chatted for a while just not as often and then it just stopped. “I take it you are talking about a certain Ex”
I nod. “Yeah I haven’t moved on, I have had women but nothing serious.” My dad gives me this look that screams I thought you knew. “Aww fuck, Logan, Vanessa resigned a few months back and moved away.
I freeze hearing the news. “I don’t understand what happened?” My dad tells me everything. “Derek and Cora got married and she had a baby, Derek doesn’t bother with Jasmine anymore, Vanessa didn’t want to have to deal with him, it broke Jasmine’s heart and the judge ruled that she got full custody. She now runs her own accountants firm and doing very well for herself.”
I look down at my hands. “Oh, I didn’t know. What about …” My dad knows exactly what I want to know. “From what I saw she just looked after Jasmine and didn’t date. Especially since Derek was no longer looking after Jasmine she didn’t have the time.” My heart sank even if I ever came home she has a new life, she moved away.
My dad just looks at me and smiles at me. “You can think about it and let me know.”
A few weeks later…
James and I are sitting in a bar having a few drinks. “So have you decided are you going to go back home or stay here?” I take a drink. “Mate I’m not too sure still, the reason I would go back things changed and I didn’t know.”
James gives me a sad smile. “Let me guess a woman?” I shake my head. “Is it that obvious?” James nods. “I have known you for two years and you have never had a girlfriend, yeah lots of pussy but no one has grabbed your attention and you have never fucked the same girl twice.”
Logan looks at James. “It’s such a long time ago and I really should move on but I loved her.” James pats my back. “Past tense maybe you’re ready for someone else!” I sit and ponder his words. “I don’t know, maybe. Look I’m going for another drink you want another?”
James points to his empty bottle.“Yeah, mate a beer would be good.” I’m walking up to the bar to place my order. When I hear a voice-over mine. “Hi, can I get 2 beers please, “Hi can I have a gin and tonic.”
I turn around finding the owner of the voice she is classically beautiful long blonde hair, baby blue eyes, long legs and a cracking smile. “Sorry, you go first. Didn’t mean to talk over you” She flashes her smile at me. “That’s ok” she puts her hand out. “I’m Carmen.” I take her hand in mine. “Logan.”
Carmen smiles again at me. “That’s quite the accent” I smile back at her being polite. “Thank you.” Thinking the conversation is done I hear her voice again. “So what do you do?” I grab my beer and take a sip. “I am the CEO of my dad’s company.”
Carmen bats her eyelids at me. “Good for you” I lean in a little closer. “Well still learning the ropes it’s my dad’s company.” I politely ask. “What do you do?” Carmen looks at me. “I’m a model” I look back at her. “Of course” her eyes dart at me. “Really?” realising my mistake. “Sorry that didn’t come out right your extremely beautiful” she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Thank you not so bad yourself”
Carmen takes a sip of her G&T. “So are you single?” I near spit my beer out. “You are full of questions aren’t you” she bites her bottom lip sucking it in with her teeth it’s pink and plump very kissable. “I like what I see, just would like to know more about you?” I smile at her. “Yes I’m single and you?” Carmen’s eyes rake over me. “Very single.” I nod. “Good to know.”
Carmen starts to write something on the napkin “I have to get back to my friend but here’s my number call me some time.” I give her one more look over. “Enjoy your night.” I walk back to James. “Sooooooo who was that?” I tell him her name. “Carmen” James’ eyebrows cock. “And???” I set the napkin down. “She gave me her number” James smiles. “You going to call?” I shrug. “There might not be any harm in it”
I sit there looking at my beer and pick the label of the bottle, I don’t know what to do whether to stay here or go back home. I look at my phone … fuck it I send a text.
Hi, it’s Logan, do you want to meet up?
I put the phone back in my pocket, after a few minutes it vibrates!
Hi Logan nice to hear from you, yeah I would really like to see you xo
I’m sitting at the restaurant bar waiting for her. I am so nervous my knee keeps bouncing, I feel a tap on my shoulder … “Hi, thanks for agreeing to see me!”
Carmen takes a seat facing me. “Thanks for asking me, wasn’t too sure I would hear from you!” We sit and have dinner conversation flows and I enjoy her company, I’m actually surprised how much I am enjoying myself. It comes to the end of the meal. I kiss her goodnight and we go out separate ways. Over the next few month’s we spend more time together I like her, she is the first woman that I have slept with and haven’t thought of Vanessa I don’t even think of her at all anymore my thoughts have been consumed by Carmen. My dad gave me a bit more time to make my decision about my location.
“So have you finally made your decision Logan about where you want to be located?” I shake my head over the video call. “Yeah actually if you don’t mind I think I’m going to stay here and make a go of things. I actually would like to introduce you to my girlfriend Carmen next time your over.” My dad nods his head. “I respect your decision and yeah I would like very much to meet Carmen. So I’m guessing you are finally over Vanessa?”
I sigh. “I will always care for her but we haven’t spoken in a few years now, it’s not fair for me to put my life on hold for something that never will be.” I try to stop the memories flooding back and lock them back in the vault. “No, I understand that, well as long as your happy, I’m happy. I should be flying over I’m the next few weeks we can organise a dinner together.”
I finish my call with my dad and meet Carmen for dinner after work. “Hi baby, how was work?” I kiss her cheek. “It was good how was your photoshoot?”
Carmen smile dazzles me. “Yeah it was great I have to go to London for a shoot next week for three days. Would you like to come with me?” I am about to answer when something knocks me off-kilter. “I wish I could but it’s so…” It can’t be, there is no way she just walked passed me! I sit frozen.
“Logan …Logan!!…LOGAN !!!!” I snap up looking at Carmen. “Sorry what?” she looks at me a little annoyed. “I was asking you if you wanted to come with me?” I shake my head. “I am actually really busy maybe next time?” Carmen crosses her arms over her chest. “Yeah ok” I excuse myself. “Would you mind I have to use the bathroom.”
I get up from my seat and make my way across the restaurant when I spot her. She is more beautiful than ever. I forgot how stunning she was how could I forget. I walk to the bathroom I need to gather my thoughts what was she doing here? Would she be happy to see me? It’s been so long should I say hello? “Catch a grip, Logan.”
I walk back out of the bathroom and walk directly into someone. “I am so sorry.” I look up. “No I am sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Oh fuck she hasn’t spotted me yet, she is bent over collecting her bag and the contents that spilled out. I bend over and help collect a few of the bits, she looks up and our eyes lock, I don’t know how much time passes. I feel like time stops and I can’t move. My trance is broken when I hear her voice.
“Logan?” I give her a smile. “Hi, Vanessa.” We keep looking at each other I pass her a lipgloss that belongs to her and our fingers touch, it was crazy after all this time and she still causes me to feel a jolt of electricity run through my body, I know she felt it too, she snaps her hand back, I was about to ask her how she was when reality came back to me.
“Baby there you are, I thought you got lost?” I look up to find Carmen staring at me. “Sorry …” she looks at me with a puzzled expression. “Everything ok?” I try to explain myself “Emmmm, yeah I just bumped into…”
I look back around and she’s gone, there is no way that my mind was playing tricks she was here, we touched there were sparks. I quickly stand back up, Leading Carmen back to our table. I desperately try to find her searching for her but it’s no use I have no idea where she went.
Chapter 18
3 YEARS LATER…
Carmen is watching me as I pack the last of my things I hear her ask. “What time are you leaving?” I look over at her. “My flight is at 5 am, I’m going to miss you!” Carmen gives me a weak smile as she helps me pack she says. “It’s only for 2 weeks, I am so sorry I can’t come with you.” I walk over pulling her in for a kiss. “It’s ok sweetie I understand you have to work, we can always go over together another time.”
After that night at the restaurant she just disappeared into thin air, I tried to forget it ever happened but I found it so hard to get passed it, why did she leave like that? Why was I so annoyed that I couldn’t find her? I felt so guilty thinking about Vanessa again, I pushed all my old feelings back into the vault and focused everything on Carmen.
Since then things were I suppose good, we moved into an apartment together and my mum and dad both seemed to get on with Carmen. I have been thinking that I should propose but something is stopping me from taking that next step, I need closure once and for all, I need to cut all ties, my life is here with Carmen I can’t keep one foot in the past it’s fucking my future up and it’s not fair. I felt that I was emotionally cheating on her, how the fuck can I be with Carmen for years and still feel a stronger connection with Vanessa who I was with only months.
Carmen is a little high maintenance, bossy but she is stunning and sweet …when she wanted something, come to think about it all our dates where always fancy she wasn’t really down for bowling or playing pool in a normal bar. Her friends well I had nothing in common with them they were as dull as fuck. I am ripped from my thoughts when I hear Carmen’s voice. “Honey, did you hear what I said?” I look at her with an apologetic smile. “Sorry I didn’t catch it” Carmen crosses her arms pissed that I wasn’t paying her attention. “I said have a great trip I have to go now so won’t be able to see you off at the airport.” She comes up to me and gives me a quick peck on the lips, there was no all-consuming I am going to miss you every second for the next two weeks, our sex life is somewhat vanilla and far and few between. I hear the door close and go over to pick up the envelop I received 2 months ago. I pull the piece of the card out and admire the beautiful design.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Miss Hartman & Mr Sinclair.
I get into bed and wait for the alarm clock to go off for my flight, I can’t sleep my mind is going a mile a minute. I’m sitting on the flight and working out how I should go about this trip? I did a little digging to find out where she went and how she was doing.
Dean and I had got better at staying in contact. There was a hell of an amount of tension as it was clear that neither Dean nor Carmen liked each other she was always throwing shade at him and well Dean refused to hold back. This was fate this trip home would give me everything I needed, the answers I had to have. Then I would come back to New York and give Carmen the future she wanted.
She had dropped enough hints, every time a friend would get engaged I would have it thrown in my face. Why haven’t you proposed already? What are you waiting for? I love you, you love me what’s the hold-up? What the hell was I supposed to say “yeah I love you but there is part of my heart belongs to someone else and after five years I still haven’t let go.” Yeah, I fucked up I have never told Carmen about Vanessa, I just couldn’t talk about her.
Carmen would see in my face the truth and well she would have my balls cut off. So we just avoided that topic altogether… I know I’m a massive twat. I was in the dog house for a month when I went on Deans stag, what the fuck was I expected to do I was the best man. It was so worth it though the to be with the boys again was fun and easy-going, we had all done a lot of growing up in the last five years some married and had babies. Dean proposed to Victoria and are happy as ever.
When I came over for visits we would have dinner together but Vic refused to bring Vanessa up especially with Carmen there. Carmen and Vic had a few words exchanged. it was awkward and Victoria just walked away from the table. Dean had to calm her down and then I and Carmen had a fight over it, she was rude to Victoria and it was uncalled for, she apologised but you could see the dislike pour from her face. It made it so much easier she wasn’t here on this trip, it would just create a bad atmosphere and ruin the couples big day.
I had been lost in my own train of thoughts for so long I didn’t realise we landed. I got into a taxi and made my way to my hotel where I was staying after I checked in I looked at my phone I sent Carmen a text.
Landed safely miss you already talk later xo
I waited a while and nothing came through I put it back in my pocket and decided to go out and get something to eat. As I was walking to a little cafe. I walked past a jewellery shop a ring caught my eye I decided to go in and take a better look.
I walk over to a gentleman and make a request. “I would like to see that ring please?” he nods and slides out the tray from the window. “Yes, of course, sir, this is a 3-carat moissanite and diamond halo engagement ring.” I’m standing looking at the ring it’s stunning, it’s very Carmen out of the corner of my eye another ring catches my attention I stand and look between them both what the fuck am I doing, that second ring hits the pit of my stomach I see who I give it to so clearly. It’s autumn we are buried in leaves, she loved making leaf angels that’s what she called them, I would get down on one knee under the tree I took her to for a romantic picnic, it was great for about the first fifteen minutes and then the skies emptied Vanessa laughed so hard and we were soaked to the skin her hair was stuck to her face she was the most beautiful I have ever seen.
With Carmen, I see the proposal some fancy 5-star restaurant the ring in the champagne glass. I just don’t feel the warm feelings. I’m standing holding the Carmen ring and looking hard at it. The shop owner clearly picks up my uncertainty. “I will give you a few minutes sir to have a look.” I near drop the damn ring when I hear a voice I longed to hear.
“She’s a very lucky lady!” That voice… my hairs at the back of my neck stand up I look around and she is simply exquisite as I remember. “Vanessa, what are you doing here? ….I mean, Hi how are you?” Vanessa gives a smile and tucks her hair behind her ear. “Hi, yeah I’m good just picking up the wedding rings I would ask what you’re doing but that’s clear it’s a stunning ring, are you finally proposing to Carmen?”
My body stiffens as she says Carmen’s name. “You know about Carmen?” Vanessa nods and fiddles with her hands her tell when she is nervous. “Well yeah, Dean and Victoria have mentioned her a few times. Congratulations.” I automatically talk without thinking “Thanks … wait what are you congratulating me for?” Vanessa’s gaze drops to my hand. “Logan look down what are you currently holding?” I feel embarrassed of course that’s what she was congratulating me on “Oh yeah that…” Vanessa looks confused and she tries to lighten the mood. “Don’t sound too excited.” I hear the shop owner’s voice. “Miss Hartman a pleasure to see you again here are the wedding rings would you like to have a look.”
Vanessa smiles at him and takes the rings in her hand. “Thank you, Nick, for everything the first shop messed everything up I am glad we got sorted you have been a dream come true not a bridezilla moment happened.” he smiles at her and takes the rings placing them back in their box. “You are very welcome just glad we could help on such short notice, is everything ready for Saturday?” Vanessa takes the little ring bag “As ready as it will ever be I’m just heading now to collect the dresses.” Nick smiles at her “Well I hope the day goes off without a hitch” Vanessa starts to walk towards the door. “Hope so too, take care”
Vanessa turns back to me trying to avoid eye contact. “It was so good to see you, Logan, I guess I will see you Saturday?” I give her a friendly smile. “Yeah you will, it was so good to see you too.” I walk over to her and lean in to give her a kiss on the cheek, she never moves away. I feel a rush of emotions hit me, she feels the same, smells the same. She walks towards the door. I literally shout my question at her.
“What happened in New York?” Vanessa’s eyes dart to mine and lock, our gaze never breaking. “Logan … I was there on a business meeting and you were on a date you didn’t need that awkward meeting between your ex and your girlfriend so I just left. Thankfully my meeting was just over when I saw you. I was doing you a favour we didn’t exactly leave things great, we haven’t spoken, years have passed. There was no need for a conversation.”
I scoff at her. “Bullshit, you saw my face when I saw you! The least you could do was give me a few minutes.” Vanessa shrugs “What for exactly nothing good would have come for it. Look at you, you have moved on, you’re I’m guessing going to propose marriage?” I walk closer to her and my voice strains to come out. “I needed you to give me closure, we need to end us. If that makes sense.” She looks down at her feet. “If that’s what you need ok. How about lunch tomorrow at the Belmont say at 2 pm?” I can’t help but smile I loved going to the Belmont with her. “Do they still do the …” Vanessa smiles and says “Chilli cheese sub with curly fries… yeah they do.” I look at her just like I use to I whisper. “You haven’t changed a bit!” Vanessa blushes I didn’t think she would hear me but my heart breaks at her words. “Somethings never change, while others clearly do… I will meet you tomorrow, see you, Logan.”
I can’t help it I don’t intentionally look at her breasts but it’s what is sitting on her neckline that pulls me there. After five years she’s still wearing it, I couldn’t believe my eyes, she was still wearing my heart around her neck. I watch as she walks out of the shop she looks back in the window and gives me a little smile, not a flirty one like she used to but a friendly one. My heart is beating so hard I can hear it pump in my ears I am brought back to my body as the owner asks me. “Well sir, have you made your decision?” I decide that I am done messing around I have to move forward and I have decided on my future. “Yeah, actually I will take the ring.”
VANESSA POV
There is no avoiding him he was here in front of me after my lucky dodge in New York how the hell did I not expect this to happen. Well, it was going to happen I was just hoping it would happen Saturday. He looks so good even better he has that rugged manly look about him. Stop it, Vanessa, what the hell are you playing at, look at what he has in his hand. My heart drops and I feel sick, what was I expecting it’s been five years. We haven’t spoken except for a few words in New York. I tried to move on, I did. I dated Christian for a little while but we soon worked out we were better off as friends which were such a shame. He was good looking, sweet and loyal but there was just no spark not really no matter how hard we tried.
I didn’t pine for Logan I just hoped that one day when we both had our shit together it would come together. I knew about Carmen I was jealous I can’t lie but seeing him with that ring in his hand proved our time had passed. I walk up to him and we have a brief but friendly enough chat, I try to keep my composure when he asks to meet up for closure. There we have it the final nail in the Logan and Vanessa coffin. Here he was settling down while I just worked and raised Jasmine. I put my love life on hold hoping that one day he would come back to me that we would go back to each other.
How could he know I still loved him, I went to New York to see him. Oh, I saw him alright at the bar with some model. Turned out that was Carmen, Victoria and Dean had to break that news to me. I still wore the necklace I wasn’t ready to let go of him. It’s safe to say that as of that moment when I walked out of the jewellery shop. I knew it was over, he gave his heart to Carmen and tomorrow we would both get closure and move on. I reached around for the clasp and removed the necklace. I had rarely taken it off and my neck felt lonely without it. There was no point pretending anymore after five long years. It was done.
Chapter 19
LOGAN POV
I’m sitting waiting for Vanessa to show up and I can’t keep my shit together I’m nervous and shaking a little. Then I see her walk around the corner. My heart jumps a little and I can’t help but give her a small smile when she sees me. After all this time she still looks breathtaking she walks in taking the seat in front of me.
“Sorry I’m a little late did you order yet?” I shake my head looking at the menu. “No I was waiting for you to arrive, this place hasn’t changed a bit.” Vanessa gives me a little smile. “I know it’s great after all this time it’s still amazing. Every time I’m here I make sure to call in.” I set the menu you down and ask. “So how’s everything? I heard you moved!” Vanessa has a sad look on her face.
“Everything is fine, can’t complain Jasmine is eight now, Derek’s still a dick, he and Cora are separated she caught him in bed with the new intern, no surprise there. Yeah once Cora had their little one, Jasmine was no longer a priority he got the boy he always wanted! I just decided I needed a fresh start he was constantly in my face everywhere I went, it was too much so we decided to move to a little coastal village. I opened my own firm starting small and it just kinda took off.” I sit in awe of her.
“That’s great you always wanted to open your own business, I can’t believe Jasmine is now eight that’s crazy. How do you find where you live?” Vanessa’s demeanour changes completely with me “Logan I appreciate the small talk but you said you wanted closure this doesn’t gain closure talking about where we are!”
I look at her, she turns to the side, I am so sure she wiped a tear away. That’s when I noticed it. It’s gone! Maybe it was a one-off, I don’t know what to think and it’s not like I can ask her about it, not really I whisper shout. “Fine ok, I need closure!” Vanessa shakes her head. “We got closure five years ago when you got on a flight to New York and never came back. We didn’t even speak it was over, it is over. So how did you not think that was closure, you’re the one getting engaged, you moved on it’s fine, what we had was a long time ago. I learned to accept that. So is that enough for you! What closure did you expect me to give you other than letting you get on the flight and never contact you.”
I can hear her voice begin to waver and I take my turn. “So that was it for you, my note, my gift meant nothing to you.” Vanessa absentmindedly touches her chest to where the necklace was yesterday. “It meant something at the time.” I call her out “Bullshit!” Vanessa shakes her head at me “What does that mean?” I glare at her. “You know exactly what that means Vanessa? Vanessa begins to grab her things and turns to me.
“This was a mistake I should never have agreed to this!” She grabs her bag and starts walking towards the door, my head is telling me to let her go that it’s done but my heart can’t let her walk away like this. I stand up and quickly make my way out the door shouting after her. “Vanessa… VANESSA!! she picks up her pace and never turns around she just shouts at me. “Go back to New York Logan there is nothing here for you!!” She jumps into a taxi and is gone before I can reach her … I run my hands through my hair as I watch the taxi drive off in the distance standing in the middle of the road I scream. “F*uuuccckkkkk!”
The Wedding Eve
The boys are all getting together for one last single get together. We decide to go to the bar and have a beer. I walk over handing my best friend the bottle. “I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow!” Dean smiles at me “Me too but she’s great, she’s my better half, with her I would do anything, I gave up my womanising ways for her. I can’t wait for her to be Mrs Victoria Sinclair.”
I take a drink of my beer before patting him on the back. “You look so happy when you say that.” Dean shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. “She means the world to me, I’m so lucky the have her, sure you feel that for Carmen?” I take a sip of my beer and he looks at me and makes a comment. “Hmmm ok?” I stare at him and ask. “What?” Dean gives me a smirk “A little birdy told me you got caught looking at a ring!” I let out a sigh “Of all the people to catch me.” Dean gives me a knowing look and says. “Its what she needed to see man!” I look at him.
“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Dean looks at me like he said something wrong and plays dumb “What? …Shit, its nothing.” I start to get annoyed. “Bullshit now spill it!!” Dean shakes his head and pleads with me. “I can’t Victoria will call off the wedding and my life won’t be worth living,” I ask him again. “What aren’t you telling me?”
He sits there and looks at his phone I snatch it away from him. I lose my shit “You’re my best friend and I’m asking you not to fucking lie to my face” Dean slams his bottle down “For fuck sake don’t make me choose between you and my future wife.” I stand up and shout.
“Fuck this, I will see you in the morning.” I start to walk out of the bar when I hear him. “She came to see you” I turn around and find him looking conflicted. “Who?” Dean whispers her name. “Vanessa, she went to New York to find you.” I shrug. “Yeah, she bumped into me and then did a runner!!!” Dean shakes his head “No Logan not that time, there was a time before.” I don’t believe anything he is telling me. “I never saw her before that night in the restaurant.” Dean starts to explain. “She saw you with some stunning blonde in a bar… Carmen.” This can’t be right, why didn’t she tell me. Things could have been different. “When?” Dean looks at me “about 3 years ago, if I didn’t know any better I would think it was…” I cut him off and say. “The night I met Carmen.” Dean walks back to the bar ordering a few whiskey shots before turning to me. “She wasn’t to know that, once she saw you with Carmen she called Victoria in tears.” I down one of the whiskey shots needing to numb my feelings “I didn’t know!”
Dean takes his shot and sets the glass back down “Now you know but it isn’t going to make a difference you have moved on with Carmen and Vanessa has accepted it… finally.” I plead with my best friend tired of being in the dark. “Be more clearer for me when you say finally, how final?” my friend shakes his head and I know I am pushing my luck as he puts his hands up. “Nothing forget I said anything it’s not fair to Vanessa just let her go.” I stare at him and utter. “I want to know… I need to know!”
Dean shakes his head. “I can’t, if I say something you’re just going to think I’m trying to fuck over Carmen, I don’t like her but I’m not sabotaging your relationship with her.” Deans phone rings… “Hi baby, yeah I’m heading home now just finishing this last beer, I love you too I will see you at the alter. Yeah, he is here! I really don’t think you should.” he hands me the phone “she wants to talk to you.” I take the phone and I hear her voice. “Hi, Victoria, good luck for tomorrow … wait, what? you can’t be serious! ok, I will… you have my word.” I hand the phone back to Dean and he looks at me. “Are you ok?”
I shake my head. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less from Victoria she always protected her as best she could. Guess out of respect for your big day. I will stay away from Vanessa as much as I can except for photos and the bridal dance.” Dean pats my back “I’m sorry man it’s been a rough few days.” I look at dean finally working things out. “So she wasn’t over me?” Dean nods and gives me a small smile. “Something like that, it’s been a recent development the letting go.”
“I need just one last thing and then I promise I will stop,” I say to Dean. “I am going to ask you just one thing, what do you know about the heart necklace? Dean sighs. “That thing was never off her neck until a few … ah, fuck Logan. I love you man but you always were a little slow. I’m going to have to go now before I land myself in any more shit man.”
I respect Dean he has said enough, calling it a night I look at Dean. “Yeah think I need to go, have to call Carmen.” I head back to my hotel room and take out my phone
Ring… Ring… Ring… “Hi Logan,” I feel guilty. “Hi sweetie, how are you?” Carmen’s voice comes out sultry “I’m good the bed is awful big without you!” I imagine her in our bed but I feel dead inside my words empty. “Well, I will be home in just over a week.” Carmen asks “How is it?” I keep it short and sweet. “Yeah, it’s been nice to catch up with old friends.” Carmen questions. “So Dean gets married tomorrow?” I have no idea where she is going with this. “Yeah, big days tomorrow.” Carmen scoffs. “Who the hell would ever marry him? poor bitch but then I remember he is marrying just that”. My blood boils at her braising attack of my friends. “Jesus Christ Carmen for just once do you think you could give my friends less shit?” Carmen yells at me “What! they don’t like me what’s the big deal.” I have enough and yell back “One, you never liked them you didn’t even give them a chance and second he is my best friend and always will be, so enough of our your shit.” Carmen has venom in her words “What the hell has gotten into you, we may be apart but I’m still your fucking girlfriend.” Before I say something I regret I tell her.
“I’m not doing this Carmen I will talk to you later.” I can hear her scream down the phone as I hit the end button. “Don’t you dare hang up on me!” Beeeppppp. I can’t be arsed with this, I haven’t spoken to her in a few days properly and she starts that crap. I go to grab a hot shower once I am out I glance at my phone 13 missed calls, 5 angry texts and 2 voicemails. I ignore it all. I cuddle up in the bed and drift off to sleep. I wake up the next morning and go to Deans to get ready, he is so happy and we all have a beer to toast their wedding day. Dean hands me a box and mouths “Don’t lose them!” I clutch the box and look at him crossing my heart in a joke I say. “promise I will guard them!”
We make our way to the church, as we make our way inside, the guests are arriving and taking their seats when we get the signal that the bride has arrived.
VANESSA POV
We are drinking champagne and getting ready. Victoria is so relaxed and unbelievably happy. The girls look fab and Jasmines dress is adorable. I’m standing in the bedroom getting Victoria into her wedding dress. “Your dress is stunning. You look beautiful.” Victoria looks at me and we both can see tears well in our eyes. “Don’t you cry, if you go, I’m going to go. I’m so happy for you, today is going to be incredible.” Victoria bites her bottom lip. “Don’t be mad at me it’s my wedding day.” I look at her trying to remain calm. “What did you do?” Victoria pauses for a minute before drowning the rest of champagne. “Ok well, I sorta told Logan to stay away from you today except for pictures and the bridal dance.” I appreciate my sister’s gesture. “I can deal with Logan myself but thank you for caring.” Victoria pulls me in for a hug and whispers into my ear. “I just don’t want you upset, it’s time you moved on.” I pull away nodding. “I will be fine with a little more time, it was good that I saw him, it’s actually over for good.”
Victoria has a look of worry on her face like she doesn’t believe me “If it any point you need a break you can always use the honeymoon suite I know it’s going to be a little intense at times” I take my sisters hand and give it a little squeeze. “Thank you so much for thinking about me! I love you.”
We get into the wedding cars and make our way to the church. The music starts playing and we walk up the aisle. I feel him his eyes never leaving me but I can’t bring myself to look at him.
LOGAN POV
We hear the music and we all stand up waiting for the girls. Jasmine walks in and looks so grown up now. Then the bridesmaids walk in and that’s when I freeze, everything goes in slow-mo, I can’t take my eyes off her. I look at her as she reaches the bride side of the aisle, she doesn’t look at me, she just keeps her eyes focused on Victoria, she looks stunning and Dean actually has tears in his eyes as she walks towards him. The ceremony is kept short and sweet with them opting for the traditional vows. Vanessa has to walk back down the aisle with me but as soon as we are outside she makes it her mission to get away from me. Jasmine runs over to me “LOGY!!!!!!” giving me a big hug I pull her back and get a proper look at her. “I can’t believe how big you have got, what are you five now? She giggles “No silly I’m eight.”
Vanessa is looking over at us she waves Jasmine over. “Gotta go get pictures taken, see you later Logy!!” I smile and watch her runoff. “See you later Jazz.” The rest of the day flies by between all the pictures being taken and conversations with old friends we have had the wedding dinner and the next thing I know the bride and groom are on the dance floor. The crowd cheers as the song ended, the rest of the bridal party gets up on the floor. I am dancing with Victoria and Dean with Vanessa. Victoria looks at me. “Thank you”
I look at her and give her a nod. “I promised you didn’t I?” Victoria looks at me and I can see she has a lot to say to me. “Yeah but I’m not blind, you have barely kept your eyes off her.” I find my eyes find her again. “It’s hard, I’m confused seeing her again.” She gives me a soft smile. “Once you go back, you don’t have to worry about that Logan” I look at her. “You know he told me… Dean …. about New York” Victoria’s face is crimson with rage. “That mother fu…” I look at her and give her a look. “Don’t blame him I forced him to.” Victoria bites her lip “Please don’t make a big deal about it, it was a long time ago, it broke her to see you with Carmen. Then the other day” I look at her knowingly “With the ring shopping.” Victoria has tears pool her eyes “She finally came to terms with it. She made peace with it.”
“You mean taking my heart off.” Victoria gently nods. “Yeah, she wore that every day since you left then when she brought us the wedding rings and dresses it was no longer around her neck, she started to cry and just said she didn’t want to talk about it, so we didn’t push her.” I try to get the words out. “I don’t know what to do?” Victoria slips her hands to my shoulders and stops us dancing. “That’s easy you go back, marry Carmen and leave Vanessa alone, you moved on and it’s about time she did the same. So do me a favour and end it once and for all.”
We move closer to Dean and Vanessa. Victoria looks at her sister “Do you mind if I have my husband back?” Vanessa laughs and moves away. “No please he is all yours.” Vanessa turns to leave the dance floor, I grab her arm and pull her into me. I lean closer into her, I can’t help it I inhale her scent. I put my arms around her waist she wraps hers around my neck, she won’t meet my eyes she keeps looking around. “You look absolutely stunning today.” Vanessa gets a blush to her cheeks “Thank you, you’re very handsome.”
I pull her even closer leaning to her right side I whisper “I think you forgot to mention something to me the other day when I asked for closure?” Vanessa softly asks “Like what?”
“New York, the time you saw me at the bar.” She looks at me and tears well in her eyes.”Why didn’t you tell me, Vanessa?” She finally looks into my eyes and body comes alive. “You were with her, what was I suppose to do. I was cheated on I wasn’t about to steal you back. I won’t be that person.” I let out a sigh. “That was the night I met Carmen we weren’t dating, things could have been different if I saw you.” Vanessa tries to look for an exit “It’s too late.” I plead with her. “Is it? Is it really? I saw the necklace I know you only took it off the day I was holding the engagement ring.” Vanessa begins to softly cry. “You have Carmen, leave me alone.”
I can’t help it I ask her the question I have wanted the answer for, for five years. “Do you love me?” Vanessa wipes a tear away and looks at me “What?” I look into those beautiful eyes I always got lost in all those year ago. “Yes or No Vanessa, Do.You.Love.Me.”
Vanessa steps back looking around and then back into my eyes. “I do, I never stopped.” My heart stops beating. “Fuck Vanessa, I haven’t stopped thinking about you I tried I locked all those feeling away but seeing you…It made me realise…”
Before I get the rest out someone is tapping my shoulder and I turn around to find her angry glare on me her voice comes out with a bitterness to her words. “Do you mind if I cut in?”
Chapter 20
LOGAN POV
I’m standing holding Vanessa and looking at Carmen who is piercing her eyes into us both, she takes a step closer to me. “Hi honey… miss me?” Vanessa steps back. “I will just leave you two alone.” I refuse to let this happen. “No Carmen, actually I’m going to finish this dance then you can cut in. We need to talk!” Carmen irritated answers. “Yes, we do!” She glares at Vanessa with such a hateful look. “And you are?” I see Vanessa stand up straight refusing to be intimated. “Vanessa, you must be Carmen I have heard so much about you!” Carmen plasters a fake smile on her face. “Well, Logan loves…” Vanessa cuts her off. “No actually not Logan, funny he has never mentioned you! Dean and Victoria told me all about you!”
Vanessa just stares at Carmen, I think Carmen is going to slap her before she shouts. “Oh, what a surprise Dean what a prick and the bitch Victoria” Vanessa steps forward. “Watch your fucking mouth.” Carmen steps back “Who do you think you are?” Vanessa points over at Dean and Victoria. “That prick and bitch just so happen to be my family. So I suggest you get the fuck away from me. I won’t be held accountable for fucking up that pretty face.”
I can’t be responsible for a scrap at my friend’s wedding. “Fuck this, Carmen come with me.” I grab Carmen and lead her out the double doors, I turn back to Vanessa and mouth “sorry” at her. Carmen spins around and glares at me I take one look at her and ask. “Why are you here?” Carmen pouts and I swear I want to roll my eyes into the back of my head. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” I run my hand through my hair. “You told me you couldn’t make it now here you are?” Carmen puts her hands on her hips and taps her foot. “Well after our conversation yesterday, I thought you needed a reminder of what you have?” I scoff. “I didn’t need reminding.”
Carmen steps closer to me placing her hands on my chest and looking into my eyes. “Yeah, I just missed you, baby?” She leans in and kisses me, I hear the double doors behind me open and Vanessa walks out looking at us both. Carmen looks at her and smiles. I push Carmen away, “What the hell Logan, what is going on?” I look at Vanessa. “We need to talk.” Carmen points at Vanessa. “Who is she?”
I look at Vanessa she is walking across the lobby and heading to the elevator. I run to the elevator getting into it just as the door closes. Vanessa looks at me, I hear Carmen shout my name. “LOGAN!!”
I grab Vanessa’s hand. “I am so sorry about her” Vanessa snatches her hand away “It’s fine seriously I just need some time to myself” I look at her moving closer. “We aren’t done talking about us Vanessa.” I watch her chest rise and fall I can tell she is annoyed “What I just watched Logan, I think we are!” Without even thinking the words just come out “I want you!” Vanessa shakes her head “What about Carmen? I’m not cheating I told you before.”
I step closer again. “What if there was no Carmen in the picture?” Vanessa sighs. “I won’t make you pick between us” I pull her to me. “I’m not making you, I thought coming here was for closure with you, then I saw you and I realised I never stopped loving you. Please just let me sort this and I will come to find you in a while.” Vanessa walks out of the elevator, not saying anything the doors close and I head back to the lobby Carmen is pacing back and forth, she comes over to me and slaps me across the face. “Who the fuck is she?” I hold my face where it’s stinging like a bitch. “Come with me!” I lead her outside to the garden she’s looking at me pissed!! “Vanessa is my ex, Carmen.”
Her face is red with anger. “Your ex? you friggin kidding me, you were all over her!” I sigh “We were just dancing” Carmen punches her fingers into my chest with each word. “Have. you. fucked. her!” I look into her eyes. “I have never cheated on you.”
Carmen wails “You, fucking liar, Logan” I stand my ground “I have never cheated on you, ever!” I step back. “Carmen, we haven’t been happy for months. When I get back I am moving out.” Carmen looks like I have just slapped her stunned at what’s happening. “Wait are you breaking up with me?” I look at her she’s not even upset she’s livid. I just stand there shuffling my feet, I don’t want to hurt anyone but I can’t be with Carmen anymore it’s not fair to anyone involved.
I love Vanessa, I always have. I can’t deny it anymore, I won’t. We have lost so much time together. “Fuck you, Logan.” I start to walk away from her, I hear her heels follow me. “Logan wait I’m sorry baby, it’s just a rough patch.” I turn around and watch her not a single tear, nothing. “Carmen, I don’t want this anymore.” I’m pushing the elevator button and she’s behind me. She’s trying to wrap her arms around me. “Carmen I mean it please listen to me.” Carmen grabs my arm “Just hear me out please I’m begging you, Logan!” She follows me into the elevator!
“I’m sorry you came all this way really I am but we can’t be together anymore Carmen.” She looks at me all I see is anger. “Is this about her?” I decide to own my truth. “You want the blatant truth…. yes it’s part to do with Vanessa.” Carmen scornful yells “She’s nothing special you’re about to throw away what we have for what?” I throwback at her.
“You don’t know anything about her!” Carmen smiles and sarcasm drips from her tone. “Well, that’s what happens when you decide to keep her as a secret Logan.” I walk up to my room door and walk in I find Carmen watching me. “I’m guessing you have nowhere to stay since you’re here last minute. You can have my room.” I’m starting to get all my stuff into the bags, I decide to crash at my dad’s place. I am not a total dick she came all this way. Carmen tries to grab my bag. “Please Logan don’t leave me here all by myself. We can work this out.”
I start to get frustrated about going in circles. “Did you not hear anything I just said. Carmen, it’s over between us I don’t want to be with you anymore!” I grab my bags and head towards the door. She runs after me and moves in front of the door. “You walk out that door you will regret it, you will come back to me Logan,” I yell at her. “Carmen move!” She sidesteps away from the door and smiles at me. I go down to the wedding reception and apologise to Dean and Victoria, out of the corner of my eye I see Vanessa. I walk over to her and order a beer at the bar.
“Can I get you a drink, Vanessa?” she refuses to look at me. “I’m actually just heading to the dance floor. Thank you” As she walks away I sidestep into her path. “I ended things with Carmen” Vanessa finally looks at me. “You did?” I nod and I can feel my words fall out “I’m serious about us Vanessa, I want a …. is this like the 3rd chance?”
Vanessa, gives me a soft smile “I stopped counting, Victoria did say you’re like a cat with 9 lives.” I gently take her hand. “Will you meet me tomorrow for dinner I would like to catch up properly with you.” I watch as Vanessa plays with our hands and sucks in her bottom lip. “Yeah, I would like that!” I try to keep a smile from breaking all over my face it is such a relief that she’s giving me a chance. “How about 7 pm at The Red House I hear they make a pretty decent Sunday Roast.” Vanessa gently takes her hand back. “It’s a date.” I quickly finish my beer. “Well I think I have caused enough drama, I’m heading to my dads now enjoy the rest of the night.”
I’m getting ready for my date with Vanessa. When I got to my dads last night I told him what had happened. He poured me a whiskey and let me tell him my side. I told him I actually might like to come back here to stay for good, New York just has something missing… Vanessa. He actually was really nice about the whole mess he said I should follow my heart and do what makes me happy. I’m grabbing my wallet when I hear a knock at the door and someone with a raised voice. I recognise that voice. “Logan you need to come down here.” I walk down and there in my dad’s hallway stands Carmen. My dad slips off somewhere else giving us privacy. I stand there and look at her she really isn’t letting this go. “Hi, Logan can we have a chat?”
I shake my head grabbing my jacket “Actually I was heading out!” Carmen walks closer to me smiling. “This won’t take long.” I sigh “Carmen when are you going to give this up, it’s over there is nothing left to say.”
Carmen cocks her eyebrow at me. “Actually I have something to say!”
VANESSA POV
I’m standing with a glass of wine, while I get ready for my date with Logan I feel nervous and giddy. I place my necklace back on around my neck. I grab my handbag and make my way out the door. I can’t believe after all this time, I’m going on a date with Logan again. I thought we were over for good I never imagined we would give this a go again but I can’t stop smiling. I never want to lose him again. After five years apart when I looked at him, it felt like no time had passed. I feel guilty about Carmen but I didn’t ask Logan to make that decision. I arrive at the restaurant a little early I ask for a table for two and I sit and wait for Logan. I’m sipping my glass of wine when I look at my phone it’s 7:10. Ok don’t panic he could be running late. I finish my glass of wine and order another I look at my phone it’s now 7:40, maybe he said 8, have I got the wrong time? I don’t even have his number to text him.
Hey, Dean, I know you are on your way to the airport but can you send me Logan’s number?
My phone starts to ring and I hear Dean on the other end. “Nessa, why are you asking for that number?” I pause for a minute “Emmm… Logan broke up with Carmen” Dean yells “What the fuck?” I verbally attack him speaking quickly. “And I’m kinda sitting here waiting for him on our date! I think I got the wrong time?” I hear him laugh. “Ok, I will text you the number!” (Shes what??) I hear my sisters voice in the background. Dean laughs. “Yeah Victoria says hi” (gimme that phone Dean) “hun no leave it alone” (you want an annulment?) “no wife” I hear some fussing about with Deans phone then I hear Victoria. “Nessa, what the hell have I missed, why didn’t you tell me?” I sarcastically say. “It was your wedding! You were a little busy!” Victoria huffs. “Never busy for this shit. So what’s going on?”
“Logan asked me out to dinner I’m so sure he said seven but he is still not here,” Victoria says exactly what I did. “Maybe you got the wrong time?” I start to fiddle with my napkin “That’s what I’m hoping for.” I hear Victoria and Dean whisper and then she comes back to my conversation. “Right well text me later let me know what happens.” I smile. “Ok love you, bye Victoria.” I sit and wait a while longer my phone bings with Logan’s number!
Hey, Logan, I think I got the wrong time are you nearly here? Nessa xoxo
Nothing comes back I’m still there and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. By 8:30 I grab my bag pay for my wine and head out the door. My phone finally pings and I see his name.
“Vanessa I can’t see you again, I’m sorry” I can’t help it I break down in tears.
LOGAN POV
“If you don’t mind hurrying this along Carmen that would be great” Carmen places both her hands on my chest tilting her head towards mine. “You’re not breaking up with me, not now” I laugh at her “Yeah if you think so, think I have been very clear Carmen”
Carmen claims. “You can’t walk away from us!” I walk up to her face to face. “Yeah I can there is no us.” She stands away from me smiling as she rubs her belly.
“I mean us, Logan I’m pregnant!”
Chapter 21
LOGAN POV
I quickly rush out the door. I run into the restaurant, she’s never going to be here. I have been trying to call Dean, why the fuck did I not leave my dads place sooner? We would be on our date and the Carmen bombshell wouldn’t have happened and mess everything up! I check the restaurant and ask one of the waiters he said that there was a single woman that left about 15 minutes ago.
I hear my phone ring and look down to see Dean’s name as I answer it I hear a pissed off female voice. “What did you do, yet again?”
“Victoria I swear I know this looks bad, but there is an honest explanation I love Vanessa, I need Vanessa. I’m at the restaurant she’s not here please tell me where she is right now.” Victoria scoffs. “What was so important that you stood her up?” I spill everything. “Carmen happened, the girl is mental. She tried to tell me she was pregnant. It’s not true I swear but it’s a long story and I need to tell Vanessa, I won’t lose her. I’m not walking away again.” Victoria yells at me. “I swear to god I don’t even know why I’m doing this, she is at the hotel, room 416, Jasmine is with my parents, she’s going to kill me. I like you Logan but if you don’t sort this out I’m going to cut off your dick. As for Carmen if I ever have to see her again I’m kicking her ass.”
I try to calm myself down. “I promise you Victoria this is it! I don’t need any more lives I will fix this. Carmen held me up I should have left sooner but she wouldn’t let me leave, can you please give me her number?” Victoria sounds surprised “Logan you have it, we gave it to her earlier and she texted you! You text her back!”
My heart stops. “I never … that fucking bitch it wasn’t me! She must have lifted my phone when I was distracted, I gotta go Victoria I’m jumping in a taxi have a nice honeymoon.” Victoria gives me a warning. “Don’t fuck this up, Logan, I believe what you’re telling me, so go get your girl!”
I’m in the taxi and on my way to the hotel I’m trying to ring her but her phone is off. I finally get to the hotel and run out getting into the elevator, I reach her door and knock. I hear shuffling on the other side. She opens the door and goes to close it again, I’m not going down without a fight, I gently push the door open against her and fall to my knees right in front of her. “Please hear me out I swear, I have changed I went to the restaurant I know I was super fucking late but Carmen happened. I swear I wasn’t standing you up and I never sent you that text even though I have no idea what it said!” Vanessa crosses her arms over her chest
“Logan how many more times is this going to happen like really I can’t take this anymore, I have no more tears left for you!”
I look up at her beautiful face. “You will never shed a sad tear for me ever again I swear to you. Long story short Carmen showed up told me she was pregnant with my baby, that was not possible we hardly had sex and when we did I would always use a condom. My dad overheard the conversation and started saying about involving lawyers and shit, she admitted she was lying it was her way of trying to keep me, Vanessa Hartman I love you, please forgive me?”
Vanessa tries to stop a tear from falling. “I was humiliated, Logan.” I plead with her. “I swear I was always coming for you, I’m here now kneeling in front of you, you are my world Vanessa, Jasmine is my world, I can prove it to you both every day for the rest of our lives.” I watch as Vanessa looks away from me “Logan I can’t…”
My head sinks to the ground and a tear falls to the floor. I have fucking lost her. “Get up Logan!” I pull myself up and look at her “I can’t be without you Logan, my head is saying run but my heart is screaming I can’t live without you anymore.” I pull her into me wasting no time, I push her up against the wall and strip her from her dress. She’s standing in front of me as beautiful as I ever remembered. I can’t keep my hands off her I literally rip her panties off and drop to my knees I take her clit with my tongue over and over again, she arches her back and moans my name. “Fuck Vanessa you keep doing that I’m never lasting.” Vanessa whimpers “Don’t stop please Logan”
I dip my two fingers into her, she’s so wet, I finger fuck her until I feel her legs shake and she yelps some words I don’t even understand. I pick her up and place her on the bed. I strip myself down, Vanessa hasn’t taken her eyes off me, I pull my boxers down and stroke my hard cock. I pull Vanessa so that she is at the edge of the bed. I line myself up to her. I slide the tip in. “I love you, Vanessa.” She grabs my face with both her hands bringing my lips to hers. “I love you, Logan.”
I sink deep inside and take the pace nice and slow, I haven’t had her in five years, I’m not rushing this. I take my tongue and caress her nipples, she moans and grips the sheets. I start to go a little quicker with my pace, kissing up to her neck and then finding her lips, I glide my tongue along her lip before delving in, I kiss her with everything I have, I start to feel her clinch my cock. “Logan I’m coming” I pant. “Vanessa wait not yet” I slam into her. “Oh fuck I’m so close, come with me, Vanessa.”
“Oh Logan, OOHHH FUCKKKK” We both ride our orgasms together. I keep kissing her nipping at her lips. “You are mine forever Vanessa” she looks in my eyes. “Forever Logan, no more fuck ups!” I laugh and smile at her. “You have my word!” I wrap her in my arms, I graze my fingertips up and down her back. We talk the entire night until the sun begins to rise. Our eyes get heavy and we drift off to sleep at some point. I wake up a few hours later and watch her sleep. Her hair is splayed all over the pillow she looks so content. I slide out of the bed and order room service. She is still asleep when the door knocks I accept the trolley of food and make my way into the bedroom. I grab the Rose from the trolley and make my way to the bed. I trace the Rose over her back peppering her with kisses to follow. She starts to stir and smile.
“Morning Logan” and smile at her. “Morning honey, this is for you” I hand her the Rose and she sits up and wraps the sheet around her chest. “You really didn’t need to cover those up I will gladly eat my breakfast off them.” Vanessa blushes and seductively whispers. “Really that sounds interesting.” I bring some of the food over to the bed. There is some syrup for the pancakes I give her a cheeky grin. “Don’t even Logan!” I gently lay her back down and remove the sheet. I smear some of the syrup over her naked breasts. I lick slowly over her tits. “So much better than the pancakes.” I go back over to get a bit of toast and look at her smiling. “Tease” I come back to the bed. “Oh, honey I’m just letting you refuel as soon as this is done I’m fucking you in the shower.”
Once she eats her breakfast I do exactly as I stated I made love to her in the shower then fucked her on the bed. “I have missed this Logan.” I kiss her. “I missed this too, so after last night I really want to take you on a date. One that we can bring Jasmine on. I mean it when I say I won’t let you both down. How does a trip to the zoo sound?” Vanessa, nods. “I think we would both love that” We get ready and I borrow my dad’s car. We collect Jasmine from her grandparents. I wait in the car as we haven’t gotten round to introductions just yet. We make our way to the zoo. Vanessa is standing looking at the Red Pandas.
Jasmine pulls my arm “So Logy what are your intentions with my mum? I should be shitting myself but I really like Jasmine. “Well, Jazz with your permission, of course, I would like to treat your mum like a queen and date her.” Jasmine crosses her arms she really is like a mini version of her mum. “Are you going to make her cry again?” I stall over the admission. “Emmm …” Jasmine cocks her eyebrows at me. “You’re not convincing me!”
I come to her level. “I promise I will only give her happy tears.” I reach my pinky out and she gives me hers. We both say at the same time. “PROMISE!” Vanessa walks over to us “What are you two doing?” Jasmine smiles at me. “Nothing, come on I want to see the Seals.” Jazz grabs her mums hand and runs off to the Seal enclosure. We have a great time me and Jazz chat away, she is an absolute credit to Vanessa. We go out for a bite to eat and are enjoying our dinner. It feels really nice, we are already like a family unit. I am driving the girls back to Vanessa’s parents, she checked out of her hotel room this morning. “So I have to go back to New York in a few days to clear everything up.” Vanessa looks sad but pulls herself back quickly. “Ok.” I grab her hand. “How would you feel if I moved back?” Vanessa bites her lip. “But your life is in New York” I shake my head. “No my life is here with you, my dad asked me if I wanted to come back a while ago. It’s time New York was handed over to James. I can come back here we can really give this a fair go.”
Vanessa, fiddles with her hands “I don’t know what to say” shes quiet for a minute and my heart sinks is she already changing her mind when she finally breaks the silence “… Yes… yes come back.” I grab her hand and give it a kiss, I look in the rearview mirror Jazz has fallen asleep. “Vanessa, can I ask you something?” Vanessa smiles at me “Anything!” I swallow finding it hard to say the next words. “Would you want to have more kids someday?”
Vanessa sighs. “I always wanted a sibling for her Derek put a stop to that. Then I didn’t really move on with anyone else. I’m older now but you know I have time left, I hope.” Sadness fills her face at the possibility it won’t happen. “That’s good to know as you know… I want kids. I love Jazz and will treat her as my own. Just making sure that we could have that in our future even if it’s adopting or fostering.” I pull up to her parents and Jazz starts to stir. “You want me to lift her in?” Vanessa looks around at Jasmine. “If you wouldn’t mind.”
I gather her out of the seat and Vanessa shows me where her room is. I tuck her into the bed and turn out the light. Vanessa stands watching me. “You are good with her Logan”
I suddenly feel sick as it dawns on me. “So I’m heading back tomorrow afternoon, do you want to get breakfast together? I think we need to plan the logistics of all this until I get myself back over, I will try and clear everything up should be a few weeks honey.” Vanessa gives me a sad smile. “We can talk about it tomorrow.” Vanessa walks me back to my car and kisses me goodnight I reluctantly let her go and head back to my dads. I have no idea if Carmen is still using my hotel room but I am going nowhere near that place I can just call the hotel directly and find out the damage that way. I pull out my phone.
I miss you already see you tomorrow, love you
My phone vibrates and I look down to see Vanessa’s name
Sweet dreams see you tomorrow morning love you xoxo
I won’t let anything stand in our way, this is me, all in.
Chapter 22
LOGAN POV
I am sitting waiting for my girls at breakfast. I see Jazz run up and give me a big hug. Then I see Vanessa stroll in behind her. “Morning Logy” I smile at her. “Morning and how are my girls this morning? Jasmine gives me a big grin. “We are good thank you so much for yesterday!” Vanessa gives me a little peck on the cheek. “It was a great day thank you, Logan.”
We are sitting enjoying our breakfast when I see Vanessa shift uncomfortably and smile at someone. Jasmine waves. “Hi, Cora” Cora smiles and waves. “Hi, Jasmine you look so pretty today.” Vanessa gives a little wave. “Hello, Cora” Cora stands and looks at Vanessa. She actually has tears in her eyes. Well, this is uncomfortable. “Jazz can you come and help me order you and your mum’s lunch for the road” Jasmine nods. “Ok Logy.”
VANESSA POV
Logan and Jasmine have left me with Cora. She takes a seat in front of me. “Is everything ok Cora?” Cora shakes her head. “Actually no, not at all!” She starts to fiddle with her hands on top of the table, I don’t know why but I take my hand in hers and give her a little smile. “I am so sorry for everything Vanessa!” She starts to cry, I hand her a tissue. “You were never a bitch to me, I deserved the worst from you.” I sigh. “Cora for what it’s worth it’s in the past I am over it if anything you did me a favour!” Cora looks up with mascara staining her cheeks. “I really was a bitch, who knew Derek was such a dick.” I give her hand a little squeeze “I did a little too late but here congrats.” Cora looks at me with a puzzled expression. “What for Vanessa?” I give her a big smile “For officially becoming a member of the Derek is a dick club.”
Cora looks up at me with nothing but sincerity in her gaze “You should know I never stopped him seeing Jasmine, I was actually disgusted with him she is an amazing little girl, I’m glad Brody has a big sister he can look up to.” I smile at her. “I kinda worked that out myself, you do know it was my lipstick all over his body. I was kinda hoping you would leave him he was still a cheating bastard.” Cora, shakes her head. “I feel so stupid that he was able to twist it like it was some kinky shit he was into. Never again will I fall for a twat again.”
I pull my phone out of my purse. “Well how about this, give me your number and we can always meet for drinks. I know Derek has a way with words he can make you feel the most special person in the world I don’t blame you for falling for him.” Cora, bites her lip. “He made you sound so horrible like justifying why he was with me. I believed every word he said. I really would like to be friends Vanessa, again I’m so sorry for everything I put you and Jasmine through I was so selfish.”
I shake my head. “It’s water under the bridge here is to a new friendship.” She leans in and gives me a hug, I notice Logan stare at me dumbfounded. Cora walks off while Logan and Jasmine walk back over. “Did hell freeze over?” I smile at Logan. “We had a friendly chat, it’s all sorted, she apologised for everything.”
I am lost for words as Logan just stares at me. “Wow!” I laugh at him. “I know right.”
LOGAN POV
Me and Vanessa head over to her parents so she can get her car and luggage and head back to her house. Jasmine goes inside to see her grandparents. Vanessa looks at me and her eyes well up. I wipe away her tear with my thumb. “Baby it’s just a few weeks and I will be back over, my dad is helping me get my apartment back. It’s going to be fine.” I watch as Vanessa fiddles with her hands. “How is this going to work I live two hours away, how are we going to make this work?” I take her hands in mine. “Look the apartment thing can always be a temporary thing. I can always come and stay long weekends and then when you and Jasmine are ready we can talk about moving in together, I can always commute it’s no big deal, two hours is nothing. I would go anywhere for you and Jasmine. I love you we got this!!” Vanessa gives me a sad smile. “I love you too I think I’m just going to miss you too much we barely had anytime together and now you’re going!”
I kiss her gently and pull her in for a hug whispering into her ear. “Once I’m back you and I are making up for the lost time.” Vanessa shakes her head. “I’m not ready to say goodbye, come with me!” She makes me get into the car and we take a drive, we pull up to a familiar house. “Vanessa what are you doing? Vanessa looks at me eyes filled with lust and need. “I need you one last time before you go!” I look at the house and back to her. “They are going to kill us.” Vanessa opens the car door and smiles. “They never have to know, we won’t fuck in their bed.” I open the car door. “Vanessa what am I going to do with you?” Vanessa grins at me “Anything you want!” I watch as she runs up to the door unlocking it. I get out of the car as quickly as I can reaching the door and pushing her in. I back her up against the wall and lift up her top pulling her bra down. Sucking hard and fast at each nipple, she whimpers. I reach down and unzip her jeans reaching into her panties. “You’re so wet Vanessa” she pants out as I nearly bring her to orgasm. “Logan fuck me I’m so horny.” I turn her around and bend her over, her two hands, palms to the wall I bend her over slightly, her wetness is glistening at me I take a quick swipe of my tongue. I hear her voice shake. “Oh god.”
I unbuckle my belt, slip my jeans and boxers to my ankles and wrap my throbbing cock with a condom without hesitation I push into her, repeatedly pounding into her. Vanessa shouts “Spank me, I’ve been a naughty girl!” What the fuck have I died and gone to heaven, I can’t disappoint her so I smack her arse, she gives a sexy yelp. I opt for the other cheek given them both a cheeky grab and rub to take the sting away. Vanessa whispers. “That feels so good,” I scream her name. “Vanessa” I can’t even warn her my cock throbbing, she feels it’s too as her walls start tightening, I unload everything I have into the condom. I slowly withdraw from her I’m panting trying to catch my breath. “That was incredible, sorry couldn’t resist and there was no way we could do that at my parent’s place. Plus I was not waiting weeks. My vibrator is good but it’s nowhere near good as your cock.” I can’t help but laugh “You can use me anytime you want. God Vanessa, I love you so much these next few weeks are going to kill me.”
I’m pulling up my jeans when my phone starts to ring…. oh fuck “It’s Carmen I have to take this!” I stay beside her I have nothing to hide. “Hello!” Carmen scoffs down the phone. “So I’m back in New York not that you fucking care.” I can’t help it I snip back “Good for you!” Carmen sighs. “When are you coming here so we can sort out this shit”
I look at Vanessa who is watching me intently. “Why do I need to be there with you, I’m packing my shit up, sticking it in storage and organising it to be shipped here.” Carmen gets defensive “What do you mean shipped here, shipped where?” I smile at Vanessa. “Not that it’s any of your business but I’m moving back,” Carmen yells. “You have got to be shitting me. Logan we just had a fight it’s no big deal we can make this work.”
I am stunned. “Are you serious! You got jealous, faked a pregnancy and still can’t accept it’s over. You can keep the apartment but I’m leaving!” Carmen screams making Vanessa flinch. “Fuck you and your stuff!!!” The line goes dead. Vanessa looks at me with concern. “I maybe would have waited to have that conversation when you got back. Think your stuff will be destroyed by the time you get there.” I shrug. “I think your right but it’s too late. When I go to the apartment I will bring James with me just so she can’t say I tried anything with her.”
Vanessa smiles at me. “It’s ok I trust you, Logan, I just don’t trust her though.” We both leave the house and make our way back to the car. I lift my pinky finger. “So Dean and Victoria can never find out we did that.” Vanessa bites her lip “Did what?” She starts to giggle and I make the drive over to her parent’s place, I kiss her as my life depended on it. As I say my final goodbye, she waves at me. I am grown ass man I will not cry!! I can’t help it a tear falls down my cheek. It’s just a few weeks till I get everything in place. Then we can finally be together.
A FEW WEEKS LATER….. I am standing at the airport making my way home, Vanessa and I have Skyped every day, I miss her so much I can’t wait to see her. My apartment freed up again thankfully the tenants didn’t want to renew the contract. Carmen destroyed half my shit all my clothes were placed in the bathtub and soaked. My TV had a hole smashed into, my PlayStation was clearly thrown from a high level as there were parts scattered everywhere. Carmen was there when I arrived to collect my stuff. Thank god I brought James he kept her away from me and helped me pack my stuff up. I have never seen her so angry she was yelling and throwing stuff at me. It was a bloody mess I actually crashed with James until I got a flight home organised and here I am.
My flight number gets called and I take out my phone.
I love you so much I will see you soon baby xoxo
My phone pings and my heart hammers as I take in her name.
I’m counting down the hours, minutes and seconds I love you xox
The flight is long and I just want to get there. I still have to make the drive to Vanessa’s house but I’m so close it’s killing me. The flight lands and I make it through security. I’m heading to the arrivals hall. I do a double-take, my heart skips a beat and I can see her running towards me, she crashes into me and I lift her up cupping her ass! “What are you doing here?” Vanessa smiles. “I couldn’t wait a minute longer, I have a surprise!”
From her pocket, she pulls out a room key. I laugh “Are you kidnapping me?” Vanessa kisses me and pulls back grinning from ear to ear. “For the next 24 hours you are mine and only mine, this room is our fuck bubble, we aren’t leaving even for food.”
“You are perfect Miss Hartman.” Vanessa gently nibbles my ear “Yes. Yes I am now we have a lot of lost time to make up for and I want you naked NOW.” I smile and kiss her back.
“Well, how can I say no to a request like that, please kidnap me now Miss Hartman do your worst!”
Chapter 23
LOGAN POV
Just as Vanessa promised I spent the day in our fuck bubble, I lost count how many ways I had her, but it was the most amazing time, I would happily do that forever. We were getting our things together when we sat at the end of the bed, Vanessa started twiddling her fingers, we hadn’t agreed what the plan was for when I moved back home it was kinda left vague we had just got back together but I didn’t want to waste any more time, we have lost so much that I needed this forever. “So we need to have a chat about what we are going to do from here.” Vanessa has a worried look on her face. “I know we said you would live at your apartment and we would see each other at the weekend but I have just got you back!” I take her hand in mine. “I know but it’s only temporary, let me get things settled for a few weeks and then we will have a chat about everything no matter what I love you and I want to be with you all the time.”
Vanessa nods. “Ok that sounds like a plan, I will give you a ride back to your apartment I have to collect Jasmine from my parents and get back home.” I pull her in for a hug. “I’m going to miss you so much I did enjoy the fuck bubble feel free to kidnap me anytime you want.” Vanessa cups my face with her hands. “Yeah, it was so much fun! We have been apart for this long a few weeks won’t hurt.” I give her a big grin. “Not at all.”
Vanessa drops me off at my place I reluctantly let her go. As I walk up to the door I see someone waiting for me. “Welcome back mate, I bring pizza and beer.” I stare at Dean puzzled. “How did you know?…. stupid question” Dean hands me a beer before I even get through my door. “Yeah, the wee wifey knew about the fuck bubble plan.” I pull my suitcases through the door, this place has never been my home not really. Home is where Vanessa is and this space apart is killing me. I grab the bottle opener from the door and throw it at Dean. “So how’re things with you?” Dean takes a swig of his beer. “Good can’t complain, enjoying married life. The honeymoon was out of this world but good to be home!”
I smile at him. “I’m happy for you” Dean give me a look of concern. “So tell me what exactly is the plan here? I slump on the sofa. “I stay here for a few weeks settle back home and then Vanessa and I have a serious chat about where we take this going forward, I already told her that I would be willing to commute.” Dean cocks his eyebrow. “Fuck that’s quite a drive to do that often.” I look at him trying to show him how serious I was about this. “I’m willing to make it work, I would do anything for her.” Dean clinks his bottle with mine “I’m glad you two finally got your shit together” I sigh. “So am I, I won’t fuck this up again.”
Dean and I drink some beers and eventually, Dean leaves me to an empty apartment. I know it’s late but I have to hear her voice. “Hello, Logan” I smile as she says my name. “Sorry baby were you sleeping?” Vanessa sweetly answers. “It’s fine I’m glad you called this bed is really big and lonely, wish you were here.”
I need to honest with her. “I need to tell you something?” I hear Vanessa rustle on the other side of the line. “What is it, Logan?”… I finally break the silence trying to work out how to word this. “I don’t want to do this” The line goes quiet… “I want to be with you always I can’t do this being apart from you” Vanessa lets out a breath she had been clearly holding. “Are you ok Vanessa please say something.” I finally hear her voice and I can tell she was close to crying. “I picked that up so wrong.”
“I love you too much, I know you maybe feel this is rushing it.” Vanessa giggles. “I know we have just got back together and we have had our ups and downs but Logan I knew you were trouble from the first time I met you.” I laugh before getting my shit together. “I am all types of trouble, but I want to make trouble with you, I want Jasmine and you to move in with me? The line goes quiet and then her voice whispers. “Are you serious because my answer is Yes. Logan being apart from you made me realise more than ever I want you and only you. Every day I want to wake up next to you and fall asleep in your arms.” I stop her in her tracks. “Vanessa… you seriously just stole my speech.” I can imagine her sitting up in her bed biting her lip. “So we are doing this?”
“Yes, Vanessa we are doing this.” We talk for a little while longer “Ok so tomorrow I’m going to come to your place after work ok I need to see you, go back to sleep I love you?” Take about a bitch of a day the clock stopped ticking mocking my need to see Vanessa I finally finish work and get into one of the cars I’m borrowing from my dad. I’m still trying to get my things sorted including my car. I make the two-hour trip up to Vanessa’s house I pull up into the driveway I am about to knock the door when Jasmine runs up to me. “Logy!!!!!!!”
“Hi princess how are you?” Jasmine smiles. “Great come in, come in mummy is in the kitchen.” I walk into the house and smell food cooking, it smells amazing I could get used to this. “Mummy Logys here!!” Vanessa shouts out to me. “In the kitchen Logan” I stop in the doorway and watch the love of my life all domestic like and it feels right, it feels like home. “Hi, honey I’m home!!” Vanessa looks up smiling at me. “Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes hope you’re hungry.” I lean looking at the food and kiss her on the cheek. “Starving it smells amazing!” Jasmine runs up to me. “Come on Logy let me show you the beach.”
Jasmine grabs my hand and leads me out onto the deck and further down to the beach. I need to do this while I have the nerve. “Jazz would you mind if I have a chat with you. “Jasmine tilts her head. “Of course not, what is it? I sit beside her on the sand. “First of all, I want to make sure you are ok with me dating your mum?” Jasmine runs sand through her fingers watching it fall back to the ground. “Of course you make her happy.”
“That’s nice to hear, I need to ask you something but it must remain between you and me?” Jasmine smiles. “Ok shoot Logan” I take a deep breath this all rests on her. “Jazz I need to ask you a question? l need your permission and blessing would you let me ask your mum to marry me so that we can be a family all of us together.” I look at her face and she starts to cry, I reach over to grab her hand. “Logy… I don’t know what the say?”
“Without your blessing, I will respect your decision, I love you and your mum, Jasmine I would love to become apart of your family if you will have me?” Jasmine looks up at me big tears falling down her cheeks. “Logy I would love you to be apart of our family so yes you can marry my mummy!” I give her a big smile “So that’s a yes? Jasmine stands up and looks at me. “A huge yes!” She runs at me and gives me the biggest hug! I stand up and give her a piggyback, back up to the house. Vanessa watches us both
“There you are I was afraid you both got lost, dinner is out.” Jasmine grabs my hand as we walk to the table she gives me a knowing smile. After dinner, we sit Jasmine down. I already know what her answer will be but it was right for Vanessa to ask her to make her feel included!
“Jasmine me and Logan have something we need to talk to you about!” Jasmine looks up at us both. “Ok mummy” Vanessa holds her breath. “How would you feel if we moved in together with Logan?” Jasmine goes quiet and I see the worry in Vanessa’s face. “I would …” She walks to her mum and hugs her “Love that very much mummy” Vanessa holds Jasmine a little while longer smiling at me. A little while later Vanessa tidies the dishes away, and as per Jasmine’s request, I am putting her to bed. She wraps herself in her duvet and grabs a book. “Will you read to me Logy?” I smile at her and sit at the edge of her bed. “Of course sweetheart!”
I read the book it’s not long before I hear little snores, I turn around and see her fast asleep, I tug the duvet tightly around her and kiss her forehead. I turn to head to the door and smile when I see Vanessa staring at me. “That’s becoming a habit of yours” Vanessa, takes my hand. “I say it again and again, you are so good with her.” I nod my head towards the end of the hall. “Come with me.” I lead her downstairs and we sit out on the balcony overlooking the ocean, listening to the waves lap the land.
“I can see why you love it here Vanessa,” she cups her glass of wine and looks at me. “I love the city but this always felt like home to me!” I sip my wine. “So you want to remain here?” Vanessa sets her glass down. “Yes very much so.” I look at her with a smile on my face. “Then that’s settled we stay here” she whips her head in my direction and says. “I will move into a home we decide on together somewhere we can make a home the three of us!” I look around at the house behind us. “I would like that as long as your sure however this house is pretty amazing… we could make it ours.” Vanessa looks shocked. “You would do that?” I grab her hand. “Home is where you and Jasmine are this feels right to me. If you want to stay we can or if you want somewhere else we can do that too.” She stands up making her way closer to me. “I love you, Logan, so so much.”
Over the next few weeks we settle into a routine, I moved my stuff into the house it’s amazing we just fit right into the family unit, Jasmines great and she has kept her end up without telling her mum what I have planned, Victoria and Dean are over for dinner they are laughing and giggling, We are outside enjoying the balcony catching up. “So how are things going?” Vanessa, beams “It’s great Victoria, everything is perfect.” Victoria looks at Dean and I. “I’m so happy for you both, you look content like this was meant to be! Vanessa looks at Dean. “How’s married life and the truth I know she can be a handful?” Victoria cuts in before Dean says anything “It’s great, going to change in 6 months but we are delighted!!” Vanessa’s face drops to the floor shes cupping her hand over her mouth “Oh my god are you?” Victoria jumps up hugging her sister. “Pregnant yes I am!”
VANESSA POV
Victoria has just told me her news I am over the moon but hearing what she tells me jerks me into thoughts of my own. I have been feeling tired I put it down to all the moving of Logan’s stuff about and sex lots and lots of sex with Logan. I was sick a few mornings ago but I had a cold ….. did I ??? Victoria has a look of worry “Nessa … Nessa are you ok? You’re white as a sheet.” I am snap myself out of it “Sorry what, I’m so sorry Victoria.”
She looks over to me. “Don’t be are you ok? I get up from my seat and Vic follows me, “Vanessa are you ok? I shake my head. “I’m not sure?” Victoria pulls me in for a hug. “Talk to me what’s going on?” I quietly laugh shaking off the notion. “No, it’s nothing let’s go find the boys and get dessert sorted”
LOGAN POV
Dean can’t stop smiling I can’t believe he is going to be a dad. The girls come and find us and Victoria and Dean are beaming from ear to ear. “Congrats its amazing news” Victoria smiles at me. “Thank you so much, Logan” I watch as Vanessa slips away “I’m just going to nip upstairs!” I catch Victoria looking at her sister with a look of unease.
Vanessa leaves me with Dean and Victoria, Jasmine is cuddled up beside me on the sofa, Vanessa has been gone for a while now. “Guys I’m just going to see where Vanessa is, excuse me.” I’m walking upstairs and I hear crying through the bedroom door, I knock the door before I walk in. “Vanessa baby you ok?” I find her sitting at the end of the bed !! She’s holding something in her hand. Vanessa looks at me and she’s crying.
“Logan … I don’t know how this happened” I’m looking at her I can’t work out what she means until she hands me what’s in her hand. “Are you? Are we…?”
Vanessa nods. “Having a baby… Yes!
Chapter 24
LOGAN POV
Vanessa is crying, I reach out and hold her. “Baby look at me.” She tries to look at me through her tear-filled eyes. “I’m so sorry Logan I don’t know how this happened?” I try to lighten her mood. “Clearly you know all about the birds and the bees” Vanessa looks at me with a death glare. “Sorry too soon, did we not agree that babies were in our future together, ok so it’s happened quicker than expected but Vanessa I love you and this baby, Jazz will be a great big sister!”
“So your not angry? I look at her. “Vanessa, I am over the moon I’m going to be a daddy again” Vanessa nearly drops. “Daddy again?”
“Vanessa, I love Jasmine like she’s my own so yeah a daddy again, just because she’s not my blood doesn’t mean I will love them differently.” I scoop her up in my arms and calm her down she finally looks me hard in the eyes. “So we are going to do this” I smile at her kissing her cheek. “Yeah we are baby”
“Can we please not tell anyone until the scan, well just Jasmine, please.” I cup her face bringing her lips to mine. “Anything you want.”
The next day…
Dean and Victoria left this morning to head back into the city. We are having breakfast together and Vanessa is keeping herself busy. She is nervous about telling Jazz our news. Vanessa fiddles with her hands. “Jasmine I … we have something we need to tell you?” Jasmine looks up to her mum. “What is it?” I look at Vanessa and she nods. “Well, how would you feel if you were going to have a brother or sister?” Jasmine thinks for a few seconds before flooring us with her answer. “I want a sister cause boys are stupid.” Vanessa laughs. “I will hold you to that in about 10 years time young lady, what we are telling you is I am having a baby, we are having a baby.”
Jasmine gets up from the table, walking over to Vanessa and stares at her. It is a moment I won’t forget for a guy I have to admit I get tears in my eyes. She places her tiny hand over her mummy’s tummy. “Hello there, I’m your big sister and I’m going to love you oh so much.” I try to keep the tears from falling but I have to make sure Jasmine is ok. “So you are ok with all this?”
Jasmine smiles at me. “Never better now I have a step daddy and a sibling. Can I maybe drop the step part out though?” Vanessa smiles at her. “You can do whatever makes you happy just know you also have your actual daddy we don’t want to upset him.” Jasmine nods. “Ok, so I have two daddies.” I give Jasmine a hug “Yeah you do sweetpea.”
We decide to play on the beach enjoying the time together. I have to put it up there with one of the best moments of my life. After all the years of fuck ups I am exactly where I need to be.
6 weeks later…
We are at the hospital waiting for the baby scan. Jasmine pleaded to come along and we made a promise that she wouldn’t miss it. The sonographer comes in and Vanessa is laying on the bed with her belly out. They place the gel over her tummy and start scanning around. The sonographer points “So if you just look there at that flashing, that is your baby’s heart. With the look of the measurements, I would say you are a little over 13 weeks. Would you like some pictures?” I just stare at the screen in awe of the tiny baby on the screen. I can’t help it I start to cry happy tears first time in my life I have practically sobbed clearly. “I love you all so much.” I kiss Vanessa and hug Jasmine. Jasmine smiles “Can I have my own picture please?” The sonographer smiles. “Of course how about this one here that ok?” Jasmine nods. “Yes please, thank you!” The nurse takes us next door and talks to us about the pregnancy.
“Congratulations to you, you will receive a letter with the details of your next appointment here is your maternity book. Take care of yourself and here are some prenatal tablets to start you off.” Vanessa smiles at the nurse “Thank you so much.” We leave the hospital and I have a surprise in store for Vanessa.
“Before we tell everyone you fancy a walk for some fresh air?” Both my girl’s smile and nod. We are walking around the park when Vanessa starts to smile. “I wonder if it’s going to rain again. That tree was a savour that day!” I smile at the memory. “I loved that day so much, the favourite date I ever had with you a romantic picnic, with you making leaf angels and giggling, before the heavens opened and we were both soaked through, can’t believe neither of us got ill after that.” Vanessa, squeezes my hand “I loved it so much!”
I lead both Vanessa and Jasmine across the grass “Come on I have something to show you.” As planned the picnic basket was there ready and waiting, I have been planning this and the time was right. Vanessa looks at me. “Logan are we going to have a picnic cause I’m starving?” I laugh. “Go ahead and look in the basket!”
In the basket Vanessa pulls out a box when she turns around to find me, I am on one knee Jasmine is standing by my side beaming from ear to ear. “Vanessa I have been in love with you for so many years, we have had our ups and downs and it may have taken us a long time to get here, everything happens for a reason. Will you and Jasmine become my family forever, will you marry me?” Vanessa looks at me with even more tears and as promised they were happy ones. “Yes, I will marry you!”
In the background, we hear cheering everyone that we love is here to share this moment with us. I called Vanessa’s dad and asked for her hand in marriage. He gave me his blessing and said he has never seen his daughter this happy before. It was such a relief. I look around and see all happy faces, Victoria is in bits she keeps shouting that it’s just her hormones. Vanessa’s parents are the first well-wishers. My dad comes across patting me on the back and hugging Vanessa. “Welcome to the family Vanessa.” My mum pulls her in for a hug. “Vanessa sweetie you are the best thing to happen to him, congrats.”
Dean smiles at Vanessa. “Just so you know I’m going to throw one hell of a stag party!!!!” Victoria glares at him. “You just couldn’t say something more fitting like Congrats to the happy couple,” Dean smirks. “Yeah, I will… on his stag” Victoria points at him. “You keep that up you won’t make it” Victoria turns back smiling at us “Congrats to you both I am over the moon for you” Jasmine beams and shouts. “Well, there is one more thing…”
We promised Jasmine she had the honour of telling this part. “I’m going to be a big sister!” Victoria screams. “YOUR PREGNANT?” Their mother screams. “I HAVE ANOTHER GRANDBABY ON THE WAY!” My mum is jumping about. “This is the best news ever I get my first grandbaby!” Vanessa smiles. “I’m 13 weeks pregnant” Victoria sighs “Aww thank god I don’t have to do this alone I have been shitting myself!” Mrs Hartman glares at Victoria. “LANGUAGE!” Victoria blushes. “Sorry, mum.”
We all head to a restaurant I booked to celebrate our engagement and baby news. Vanessa has never looked more beautiful I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have her as my future wife. I can’t stop touching her tummy, we look around and both are families are chatting and looking happy. This has been a stormy road for us both but we are here now and I’m never letting go. I was young and stupid and I made so many mistakes, mistakes that cost me time with Vanessa but it made me a better man today. Vanessa wraps her arms around my waist. “So when did you pick this up, it’s stunning thank you!”
“The truth… the day I bumped into you at the jewellery store!” She stares at me I can’t get a read on her! Vanessa bites her bottom lip. “You’re not lying?” I shake my head. “No baby I’m not, that day I found that ring and I seen my life with you, I thought I would never get you back but that day when I saw you everything came flooding back I knew, you and Jasmine were it for me!! I wanted to win you back and I bought the ring that day!” Vanessa starts to cry again. “I can’t believe it, what would you have done if we never sorted everything out?” I tilt her face to me. “The ring would always remind me of you, not winning you back was never an option. I loved you then, I love you now.” I lean in and kiss her lips. I wipe her tears away. “Logan I don’t know what to say I love you so much.”
“I don’t want to wait I would like to get married before the baby comes Vanessa.” she smiles up to me. “Well then let’s do it.” I nod. “Are you sure?” Vanessa stands on her tiptoes kissing me. “Logan as long as I get to marry you I’m happy with anything.” I hug her and whisper into her ear. “Well then let’s plan a wedding.”
A few months later …
I’m standing at the alter and I’m waiting patiently for my bride “So that stag was pretty wild!” I glare at Dean. “Don’t even go there … has Victoria forgiven you yet?” Dean laughs. “Just about I’m on a sex ban for the foreseeable future.” I scoff. “How did you not use that head of yours seriously to handcuff us to a stripper and lose the keys.” Dean bites his lip to stop laughing. “It was all good fun, Logan.” I look at Dean. “You’re lucky Vanessa is a cool fiancee and found it hilarious. Dean pats my back. “You loved it you needed a send-off, Victoria was pissed she warned me no strippers, I couldn’t help myself. It was all innocent fun. I’m about to be a dad this was my last fun before my boy arrives.”
The music starts and both me and Dean shut up, Dean looks down and finds Victoria he gets a goofy smile on his face. My heart stops when I spot her with her dad and Jasmine. I have never seen her so radiant, she has the pregnancy glow. I start to well up. This is the start of our life as a family. Vanessa reaches me at the alter. In front of our closest friends and family, we say our vows. As always I had a surprise up my sleeve that no one in the family knew about. I turn around and look at our guests Vanessa’s eyes go wide.
“I have extra vows if that’s all right? Jasmine honey can you come here?” Jasmine takes a few steps to me and I get on my knees to get on her level and pull out a ring just for her. “Jasmine would you please accept this as a token of my vow to you, that from this day forward I vow to love, respect and protect you for as long as I live. That this token I present to you, shows the world that I enter into this with you as well.” Jasmine sobs and her words eventually break out.“Ye…ssss.”
I found the perfect ring when I was looking for our wedding bands, the ring is called Jasmine lolite when I saw it I knew it was the right decision to make to include my stepdaughter into my vows. I look around and realised maybe I shouldn’t have done it as Vanessa and Victoria have makeup running down their faces … so much for waterproof mascara. I take Vanessa in one hand and Jasmine in the other. This is the day of our new lives as a family. Next adventure is when our newest arrival makes an appearance soon. Vanessa tries to regain her composure. “I love you Logan thank you so much that was perfect.” I lean in closer to them both. “I love you both so much, Vanessa and Jasmine. Thank you for letting me be part of your family, For keeps.
Jasmine beams up at me. “For keeps.” Vanessa looks at me with a mischievous glare. “Just one more thing …” Jasmine smiles at me “Your going to have your work cut out for you when you have a house full of girls!” I have shock written all over my face. “Girls?” Vanessa smiles. “We are having another girl.”
The End
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. There is always a reference to “For Keeps” in my books. It is something my husband and I say to each other, he has it engraved in his wedding ring. So it’s a little nod to him for all he does.
Lots of love Victoria
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