Summary

Camille hasn’t been lucky in life, but when she moves back home to help her grandma, she has an unpleasant first meeting with her new neighbor, Cole, before she can even make it through the door. Cole is cold, bitter and impossible to figure out, but through unexpected circumstances and tension, can she break through his walls, or will she find herself crushed by them?

Chapter 1

Camille

I swear, my life the last ten months has been a series of unfortunate events mixed with some well-timed tragedies. I guess some of those tragedies go back further than ten months, like as far back as the day I got married at the age of eighteen to the man I thought was ‘the one’…it turns out I was the only one who felt that way. Ten months ago, I found him cheating on me, a month later we were divorced, but when I look back, our marriage was over pretty much as soon as it began…I just took longer to realize that than he did. Add to all that the fact that the company I was working for went bankrupt four months ago which meant I was jobless and then the call yesterday that my grandma had a heart attack, yeah…pretty damn unfortunate.

With nothing keeping me in the city, I loaded up everything I could into my SUV, called movers to handle the rest and then hit the road, making the four hour drive to my grandma’s home in Levinston. I made sure to call the hospital and check on her, but was informed she wouldn’t be released for at least another four to five days at the earliest. I pull up to her house and a flood of memories washes over me, remembering every happy memory I have of living with her here during my childhood.

I turn off my car and sit for a moment, letting my mind settle as a new determination fills me. I’m twenty-two years old, divorced and unemployed…I will not let this dark chapter of my life define me…I hope. I climb out of my car, square my shoulders and take my first step only to freeze when I hear a high pitch screech just as the screen door to the neighbor’s house bursts open and a kid that looks to be around three runs out with another kid who looks to be around five. The following events seem to happen in slow motion and it makes my heart thunder in my chest. First, the little guy misses the first step, then he tumbles down the rest of the stairs and hits his chin on the sidewalk. Before I can think, I’m already almost to him, but the poor thing is already crying hysterically.

“Hey, it’s okay, bubba. Let me see.” I drop onto the ground beside him then pull him into my lap and tilt his entire body so I can see his tear streaked face and scraped up chin. Another kid comes out the door, this one looks to be around eleven, and he hurries over to me with his panic stricken eyes locked on the little one in my arms.

“Joey? Are you okay?!” I look up at the older boy and force a smile, hoping to keep him calm so he doesn’t make the little guy freak out more.

“Hey, my name is Cam. Are your parents home?” The kid nods, but he keeps his eyes on Joey.

“Yeah, dad got home from work a little bit ago, but he’s in the shower. Is he okay?” It melts my heart to see how worried he is even though Joey’s hysterical cries have calmed to a mild whimper.

“I think he’ll be fine. Can you get me a wet cloth, or some wet paper towels so I can clean his scrapes up?” He nods then takes off back into the house. He comes out a minute later with a wet kitchen towel that he quickly hands to me. I say a quiet thank you as I take it from him and reposition myself so I’m sitting cross legged on the ground with the little guy in my lap, his little butt in the hole between my legs and his legs hanging over my thigh.

I get to work gently cleaning his scrapes and am almost finished when the door flies open and a very tall, half naked man storms out. He’s easily six foot four, broad shoulders, a muscular build with wet locks of what looks to be dirty blonde hair hanging over his forehead and deep blue eyes that are glaring down at me.

“What the hell are you doing?!” His reaction startles me, but I try to keep it together for the sake of the kids. I slowly hand the cloth back to the older boy then help Joey to his feet.

“He fell down the stairs. I was just helping clean up the scrapes.” I hold my hands up in, what I believe to be, an unnecessary show of surrender.

“I don’t know you and I don’t know why the hell you thought it was okay to put your hands on my son, but you need to leave.” His fists are clenched tightly at his side and while I can appreciate his concern and protectiveness over his children, his reaction, in my opinion, is way over the top.

“Sure, no problem.” I get to my feet and turn to head back to my car where my purse and my keys are laying on the ground where i dropped them. I grab my purse and get my cell phone out of the car then close the door, finding all three boys and their dad staring at me.

“What the hell are you doing at Mary’s?! Does she know you’re at her place?” Okay, now I’m a little pissed.

“Last I checked, it is literally none of your damn business if I’m at my grandmother’s house.” I don’t give him a chance to respond before storming up the porch, unlocking the door and going inside before he manages to be an even bigger dick, something I fully believe he’s capable of.

Feeling angry, frustrated and, in general, just overwhelmed as hell, I decide to do some cleaning to calm down before I go visit my grandma at the hospital. The old woman may be one of the cleanest people I know, but I still take the time to dust, vacuum, mop and wipe down the kitchen counters. When I finish, I decide to go ahead and bring in the things I plan to keep here for now, figuring the rest can go in storage once I get a unit rented.

I sat at the hospital with my grandma for an hour, though all she did was sleep, then picked up a chicken ceasar salad from the grocery store while picking up a few essentials, like caffeinated coffee since my grams only drinks decaf. When I get back to her house, I notice the dickhead neighbor sitting in a chair on his front porch with another man, both holding a beer in their hands. I see the new man say something to the dickhead that seems to piss him off, but I try to ignore them as I climb out of the car and grab the four bags off the passenger seat. I almost make it to the porch…almost…but then an unfamiliar voice stops me.

“Hey, you staying with Miss Mary?” Thankfully, it’s not the dickhead, but the other guy and he’s already approaching when I turn around.

“Yeah, for now. She’s my grandma. I’m Cam.” I shift the bags and extend my hand which he happily shakes, flashing me a wide smile.

“I’m Brett, Cole’s best friend.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder toward the neighbor’s house, making it clear that the dickhead’s name is Cole, though I think dickhead suits him better.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He surprises me when he reaches forward and takes the bags from my hands.

“Here, let me help.” Unsure of how to respond, I give a tense nod then quickly unlock and open the door. I lead the way into the kitchen where he carefully sets the bags on the counter for me.

“Thank you.” His smile is still on his face and he quickly responds in an upbeat tone.

“No problem. So, how’s Miss Mary holding up?” His happy tone is more hesitant when he asks, making his concern for her clear. The fact that he’s worried about my gram softens my expression some and makes me a little less tense.

“The doctor says she’ll be kept at the hospital for the next four to five days, longer if anything else goes wrong. She slept the whole time I was visiting with her though.” He nods, but doesn’t seem surprised by what the doctor said.

“Are you staying here for a while then?” Unlike his friend who seems to hate me for no reason other than me helping his injured child, Brett actual seems okay with me being here.

“As much as I’m sure your wonderful friend would prefer I pack my shit back up and leave as soon as humanly possible, yeah, I’ll be here for a while.” Brett winces, as in actually winces as if my words wound him.

“Cole’s not a bad guy, really. He’s been through some pretty bad shit over the years and raising the boys on his own…it hasn’t been easy for him.” I get it, I do…but…

“We all have our own shit, but that doesn’t give any of us the right to go around being dicks to other people. I was literally only helping his kid who took a chin dive off the porch, but he made it seem like I was some kind of psycho that might hurt or take off with his kid. His reaction was uncalled for, but it’s whatever. My ex was an asshole, so why shouldn’t my new neighbor be one too?” I take a deep breath and sigh loudly, already regretting my outburst, but feeling slightly better to get some of this shit off my chest.

“Yeah, Holden told me. I’m really sorry about how he acted.” I should tell him it’s not his responsibility to apologize for how his friend acted, but instead, something completely different comes out of my mouth.

“Which one’s Holden?” He chuckles and scratches the back of his neck, the action making him look almost like a giant child instead of the grown ass man he is.

“Holden’s the oldest, he’s almost eleven. Cody’s the middle child and just turned five. Joey, the one who ate concrete, he’s the youngest and he’s two and a half.” I nod my head as I lean against the counter, mentally filing the information away.

“The kids seem pretty cool. Well, if you can tell your friend that I apologize for overstepping, I’d appreciate it. I don’t need the neighbors hating me when I don’t know how long I’ll be stuck living next to them. I’ll be sure to keep my distance in the future, so he doesn’t need to worry about me being around his kids.” His sympathetic look is in no way comforting, but at least that tells me he gets it…he knows his friend’s a dick.

“If you need anything, now or even when Miss Mary comes home, you call me anytime.” He pulls out a business card, because of course he just happens to carry one around with him, then flips it over to show me the back where a phone number is written.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” He looks lost for a second before nodding and heading to the door, leaving me alone in an empty house with nothing but my thoughts.

Chapter 2

Cole

It’s been one hell of a fucking week. Between work and the boys, there’s never a dull moment. Unfortunately, Holden seems to be a little too interested in Miss Mary’s granddaughter. It’s not like he has a crush on her or anything, nothing that crazy, but every time he sees her outside, he watches her every damn move. Hell, even Brett has taken an interest in her.

Miss Mary came home two days ago and the boys have been begging to go see her, but I keep telling them she needs to rest. Sure, part of my reluctance is that I don’t want to see her granddaughter, but the woman did have a heart attack recently. Look, it’s not that her granddaughter has given me a reason to hate her…yet…but rather that I know it’s only a matter of time before she does. Instead of waiting around for the minute she decides to show her true colors, I’ve made things easier for myself by pushing her away, like I do all women.

Don’t judge me! My mother chose men and drugs over me. My ex-wife chose drugs, men and booze over me and our kids. The only girl I tried dating after that was only six months ago and she waited until after I found out she was screwing someone else to tell me she wasn’t interested in taking on dating a guy with three kids. Women, in my experience, do nothing but lie, cheat and abandon you.

I was hoping to come home today to a house that’s only mildly destroyed and a cold beer, so imagine my surprise, or maybe it’s just sheer horror, when I walk through my door and I’m greeted with silence. I have three boys…silence doesn’t exist during waking hours. I call out to them, to their sitter, Mrs. Abby, but there’s no response. It isn’t until I walk into the kitchen that I spot the note on the counter and a deep sense of dread hits me before I even reach for the offensive thing.

Cole,

James got hurt at work. Had to go to hospital. Boys are next door with Mrs. Mary and Camille.

Janet

I feel like my blood is boiling as I crumple the note, toss it across the kitchen and storm my ass over there to get my boys. I knock on the door, probably a little too hard, and it opens seconds later to reveal a smiling Holden with what I assume is flour dusted over his hands, shirt and even a little on his face. When his eyes meet mine, his smile instantly drops.

“Hey, dad.” I can tell he’s trying to decide what kind of mood I’m in.

“Get your brothers and let’s go.” I’m pretty sure the growl in my voice makes my mood clear as day, but then another voice speaks up, one of the few feminine voices that doesn’t make me hate the entire female population…Miss Mary.

“Cole, come on in. The boys were just helping bake some cookies.” I begrudgingly enter the house and spot Miss Mary sitting at the breakfast bar, staring into the kitchen and smiling.

“Cam, you have flour on your face!” I hear Cody cry out through his laughter, the sound being something I hear very rarely these days. I walk over to see for myself and standing in the kitchen is Camille, with Joey on her hip and Cody on a stool beside her, all giggling and smiling brightly. Holden walks past me and grabs a cookie off a plate on the island then hands it to me.

“Me and Cody made these ones all by ourselves!” He smiles, radiating pride as I take it from him. He watches me with bated breath as I take a bite and moan at the taste. I can’t even remember the last time I had homemade chocolate chip cookies, but these are fucking amazing.

“Good job, boys.” They all beam with pride, even little Joey. I can’t fight my smile as I take in their flour and cookie dough covered faces and clothes.

“I’m sorry. Their sitter came over and said she had an emergency. She asked grams to watch them, but she’s in no condition to be running around after anyone, so I thought making cookies would be a good way to occupy them until you got home.” She carefully sets Joey down and the little bugger instantly reaches up for her again, but I can tell she’s torn. It’s clear she didn’t want to put him down, but I know she’s afraid I’ll snap at her again. Part of me wants to, but seeing my boys this happy…it does something to me…warms my damn heart…just a little.

“I know, she left a note. Thanks for watching them. Boys, tell Camille thank you.” Not only do they thank her, but they all hug her too, something they never do with their sitter and that…that’s something I have no damn clue how to handle.

“Dad, can we hang out with Cam again tomorrow?” Holden’s hopeful expression throws me off because the last thing I want for my boys is to have them get attached to someone who’ll just let them down and hurt them.

“I’m sure your sitter will be back tomorrow. I really had fun today, boys. Thanks for helping me make these cookies, but I think you all need to take some with you since we made so many.” She gives them a warm smile that lights up her green eyes then pulls a storage container out of the cupboard and packages up at least two dozen cookies that she hands to Holden.

“Thanks, Cam.” Holden is clearly upset, but trying to hide it, likely for the sake of his brothers.

“It was my pleasure, Holden. You kids are pretty awesome.” She winks at him and, of course, he smiles brightly. The moment is interrupted when the cell phone sitting next to Mary starts ringing and I catch the way Mary’s expression goes from warm and smiling to instantly irritated.

“It’s Dalton.” She shoves the phone across the counter toward Camille who quickly swipes the screen to send the call to voicemail.

“Who’s Dalton?” I want to scold Holden for asking a question about something that has nothing to do with us and is none of our damn business, but she responds faster than I do.

“A four year mistake. Alright, boys. Thanks again for all your help. Be good for your dad.” They all sneak in one more hug from her before we start heading toward the door. We stand in the entryway while Holden and Cody get their shoes on which, unfortunately, makes it impossible to not hear Camille and Mary’s conversation.

“What the hell is he calling you for, Camille?”

“I don’t know, grams. I really don’t.”

“The divorce was finalized, right?”

“Yep. I’ve been divorced for nine months, grams.”

“You better not let that snake back into your life, Cam. I told you from the get go that he was bad news.”

“Yeah, well, I clearly like to learn shit the hard way.”

“Ready, dad?” I look at Holden and give him a quick nod, readjust Joey on my hip then we head back home.

I woke up at my usual time this morning and started my usual workday routine. By the time I was showered, dressed and starting my first cup of coffee, the sun was just rising. I’m just about to start on breakfast when my phone alerts me to a new text message and I already know who it is…Janet Abby, the damn babysitter who’s probably going to screw my entire morning over by way of text message.

Janet: James is getting sent home today, but will need help for the next week or so. I’m sorry for the short notice, but I’ll need to be home with him. Mary next door said she and her granddaughter could watch the boys for you if I can’t.

Me: I’ll sort things out for the boys. Tell James I hope he gets better. Let me know if you need anything.

I know I can’t be mad at Janet and I’m not…I’m mad at the damn situation and the idea of letting that woman near my kids again. If I could miss work to stay with them, I would, but that’s not even an option. I know Mary needs rest and a whole week of having the boys over at her place for nine, maybe more, hours a day will definitely be too much.

I know what I need to do, but I sure the hell don’t want to do it. I finish my cup of coffee and put my work boots on then head out the front door to go talk to Camille. I’m surprised to find her sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee and a far away look as she stares off at the horizon that’s still painted with the pastel colors of the sunrise.

“I was just coming to talk to you.” She shakes her head like she’s trying to shake off whatever thoughts were flooding it then looks at me with a curious gaze and one of her eye brows quirked up like she’s trying to be amused, but hasn’t consumed quite enough caffeine yet to fully commit.

“Oh?” She’s clearly as surprised by this as I am and probably confused, not that I can really blame her.

“Janet has to stay home with James for about a week. I know Mary needs rest to recuperate, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to come over to watch the boys while I’m at work…just until Janet can come back. I’ll pay you, of course.” Her brow furrows and I’m honestly expecting her to tell me no, to fuck off, or maybe just laugh in my face, hell, maybe all of the above.

“You don’t need to pay me and yeah, I’ll hang out with them.” I rake my fingers through my hair that’s in desperate need of a trim, letting out a breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding.

“I appreciate it, but I insist on paying you for doing this.” I really want her to see this as a job, hoping it will keep her from reading anything more into it or crossing any lines with my kids.

“And I insist that you consider us even. I help you by watching the boys so you can go to work and you help me by getting me away from grams for a few hours a day before the woman drives me certifiably insane with her crap. It’s a win-win. Besides, we both know I was your last option, so the fact that you’re here right now means you’re desperate. I’m not going to take advantage of that. What time do you have to leave?” I look at my watch and see it’s only six forty five.

“I leave in about forty five minutes.” She stands up and I just now notice that she’s wearing short sleep shorts that show off her creamy white legs and the tank top she’s wearing makes it impossible to miss the fact that she’s not wearing a bra.

“Alright, I’ll go shower then I can head over.” It takes a second for her words to register and the second I clear my throat and meet her gaze, I realize I was caught. Instead of seeming bothered by it, she arches a brow and smirks before shaking her head and heading back inside. I hurry back home to pack my lunch and get started on breakfast for the boys, silently scolding myself the entire time for letting myself be caught ogling the neighbor.

“Dad?” I hear Holden’s voice seconds before he rounds the corner into the kitchen just as I’m finishing making their scrambled eggs and sausage.

“Hey, buddy. Breakfast is ready and Camille will be here to sit with you boys today.” His eyes widen almost comically before a bright smile appears on his face. I may not be fond of having a woman around, especially not one who’s attractive enough to be dangerous in my books, but seeing the boys smile so easily…I don’t hate that.

“Really?! Cam’s coming over?!” I nod my confirmation and he dramatically pumps his fist in the air while whisper yelling ‘yes!’ like a damn heathen, right there in the kitchen.

“I expect you boys to be on your best behavior.” I give him a stern look to let him know I’m not joking, but he’s too focused on piling eggs on his plate to notice.

“Yeah, we will. Cam’s cool and we don’t want to scare her away.” Holden’s response should make me feel more at ease about leaving them with her, but the idea of them getting close to another woman who may disappoint them, hurt them or disappear on them is a constant cloud over my head.

Chapter 3

Camille

This is the first day of me watching the boys at Cole’s place and it’s been a whirlwind of activity. I had Holden run next door to check on grams an hour after I got here and had him bring back my slow cooker so we could all work together to make chili for dinner. I know I didn’t need to make dinner for Cole and the boys, but I was already planning to make chili for grams and me, so this just works out. The boys were great, helping pour, measure and Holden helped with chopping bell pepper and onion. Around three, I make a batch of cornbread before taking the boys to the living room to unwind at four.

“Cam, can you read to us?” Cody’s question is paired with the cutest damn puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen. The kid’s a damn menace with blue eyes that he’s clearly figured out how to weaponize to get what he wants…and it works…god, it works.

“Sure, do you know what book you want me to read?” He jumps up and retrieves an e-reader from the end table then settles onto the couch beside me. I watch as his little hands expertly swipe to locate his story before he hands it to me. He picked Charlotte’s Web and once we’re all comfortable on the couch with Joey on my lap, Cody sitting on my right and Holden on my left, I begin reading. I barely finish the second chapter when I hear the door open and I glance down to find that all three boys are sleeping.

“I think you broke my boys.” I don’t even know how to take his comment, most likely because his tone is almost…amused? I could comment on the strange lack of hostility, but I’d rather preserve this fragile moment, make an escape before he suddenly comes to his senses and remembers that he hates me for reasons I may never truly understand.

“They worked hard today.” I Carefully adjust Holden and Cody so they aren’t leaning on me then get up and place Joey between them, using the throw blanket on the back of the couch to bunch up next to him as a barrier so he won’t roll off.

“Child labor?” I look up at him to find some unreadable expression on his face and offer a shrug.

“Basically, yeah. Slave labor disguised as fun. I put them to work helping make dinner. I hope you don’t mind, but I had already planned to make chili for grams, so I just brought everything over here and used your kitchen. Grams grumpy ass gets fed and so do all of you. Adulting at its finest.” The corner of his lips lift up into the smallest smile.

“I don’t mind, but you don’t have to do that.” I can’t even stop the eye roll I throw his way as I head to the kitchen with his footsteps trailing behind me.

“I never said I had to, but the boys had fun helping and I know that one of my favorite things when I was a kid was to help cook, bake…pretty much anything that involved making food.” I dish some of the chili into the storage container I brought then place a few pieces of cornbread in the other before sealing them up.

“Your mom’s a good cook?” My body tenses slightly, caught off guard by the rather unexpected question.

“I honestly wouldn’t know. My mom was…broken…a complete junkie in every sense. Grams didn’t even know I existed until the day CPS picked me up from my house after my mom was arrested for a DUI and possession of narcotics. She told them she had a daughter at home, but she only did it because she thought it would get them to go easy on her, to let her go. I was five and she had left me at home alone all the time, so I know she didn’t tell them because she was worried about me. Grams got the call and within three weeks, I was living here with her. We never heard from my mom again after that.” I stack the two containers and pick them up, anything to keep my hands busy.

“That’s shitty. I’m sorry.” I give yet another shrug, but this is one of indifference.

“My world’s been full of shitty things, but I’m still here. Shitty mom, shitty jobs, shitty ex-husband…the one thing in my life that’s never been shitty is grams.” A strange silence passes between us before I decide I need to make my exit before I word vomit even more. “I should get going. Same time tomorrow?”

“Yeah, same time. Um, thanks again.” I doubt my smile reaches my eyes, but it’ll have to do for now. I head out of the kitchen, grabbing my cell phone on the way through the living room then leave without another word.

It’s the fourth day of watching the boys for Cole and I swear, these kids have far too much energy and it seems to kick in the second they wake up! Holden, I’ve noticed, is the more soft spoken of the three, always taking his time to process things before speaking, as if he’s running scenarios in his head of every possible reaction he might receive to whatever he’s about to say. Cody is the outspoken one, always blurting out whatever thought enters his mind. Then there’s Joey…what can I say? The kid’s two and is a category five hurricane wrapped in giggles, messes and the random sleep induced melt downs…but he’s also sweet, loves hugs and has an odd fascination with my hair.

Unlike the first three mornings when I arrived, today, only Holden was awake when I showed up with all the ingredients to make homemade pancakes with sausage and eggs. Cody woke up about ten minutes after Cole left for work and then there’s Joey…the kid woke up with an attitude that would make a secret service agent flinch, but I smiled through it and by the end of breakfast, he was smiling too.

For tonight’s dinner, I made beef stew…in my slow cooker…again. I made enough for Cole and the boys, even though he said I don’t need to, but I’ve cooked dinner every night I’ve watched them and his protests get weaker every day. Once again, I read the boys a story around four, but this time, only Joey fell asleep, curled up in my lap while Holden and Cody went to play quietly in their rooms. When I hear the front door open, I don’t feel the usual tension in my muscles, something I’ve noticed lessening every day.

“Hey, how were they?” He’s learning, his voice remaining low, calm and steady unlike the first two days when he came in with his loud voice and even louder ritual of stripping away all traces of his workday. He’s respecting the quiet…trying not to wake whichever children are asleep.

“Well, it was an interesting morning, but nothing I couldn’t handle.” He hums softly as I settle Joey onto the couch, using the same blanket off the back to create a barrier around him before turning to face Cole.

“Let me guess, Joey was a little terrorist this morning?” That earns a soft chuckle and a lazy nod from me.

“You could say that. I mean, I wouldn’t say he was a terrorist, but he definitely woke up and chose violence today. He mellowed out by lunch and then helped pick up the toys in the living room before story time, so it wasn’t too bad.” So far, during my time watching the boys, my interactions with Cole have mostly been me saying good morning when I arrive, which he mumbles ‘morning’ in response, me saying have a good day when he leaves, which he responds to with a grunt that’s driven home by the firm *click* of the front door closing, and him asking how the boys were. No matter what I say during this final interaction, the most he’ll say is ‘good’ or ‘alright’, so when he snorts out a laugh, like he’s trying to hold that shit back, but fails…I’m left a little speechless.

“Raising boys isn’t for the weak, that’s for sure. Something smells good.” Okay, so I might be staring at him like he just performed the worlds greatest magic trick, but, well, he kind of did…he spoke to me…like a semi-normal, non-grumpy-bastard-like human being!

“It’s not too bad, or maybe your boys are just raised right. They’re helpful, kind, absolutely hilarious and, yeah, so they bicker and have attitudes now and then, but they’re good kids. You’ve done a damn good job raising them.” With my eyes following his post-work ritual of taking off his work boots, setting his keys and wallet on the shelf above the coat rack by the door and emptying his pockets, I don’t miss the way his movements pause, or the surprised look he gives me over his shoulder.

“Yeah?” One word, a single damn syllable and it hits me square in the chest. It’s not just the word, but the uncertainty in not only his voice, but in his damn blue eyes that usually look at me with anger, or something close to irritated tolerance.

“Yeah, Cole. Oh, I made stew for dinner. Fair warning, Cody thinks the broth is gravy. He had a bit of a melt-down when Holden told him stew is a kind of soup. I didn’t realize Cody would take it as a personal attack on his integrity to be fed soup, so I made a compromise…told him the reason stew is far superior to soup is because it has gravy instead of broth. I wasn’t sure if it would work or not, but he bought it and is now officially excited to eat gravy stew.” And…I’m speechless…the grumpy bastard is genuinely smiling! I mean, it’s not some beaming smile with teeth showing and crinkling at the corners of his eyes, but it’s softer, a gentle upturn at the corners and his posture seems less rigid now.

“So, you tricked him?” There’s no malice, no irritation, just a thin layer of amusement mixed into his usual growly tone and even one corner of his lip lifts into a smirk. I place my hand on my chest in mock offense and let out a dramatic gasp.

“I would never! The broth in stew is too thick to be a typical broth and is more like a gravy that’s slightly thinner than your typical gravy. You call it a trick, I call it cleverly selling my product and adjusting the ad for the target audience.” I make my way to the kitchen and begin my new routine of filling the storage container for me and grams.

“I appreciate you doing all this. The boys…they really like you.” If I didn’t know him the way I kind of do now, the strain in his voice, the one that makes it sound like those words were far too painful to say, I would feel insulted…but I don’t.

“Yeah? I like them too. Alright, so, same time tomorrow?” I turn just in time to see him dragging one of his large hands down his face as he begins to nod, but suddenly pauses, his expression making it clear that he just remembered something.

“Shit, actually, would it be too much trouble for you to be here by five tomorrow? My boss took on a job in Trenton and the prick told them we’d be out there at seven, like the hour long drive wouldn’t be a damn inconvenience at ass dark thirty.” I won’t lie, hearing his irritation directed at someone else, I can’t help smiling.

“I’m up between three and four every morning, so it’s really not a problem, Cole. I’ll be here.” There’s no missing the way his whole body seems to deflate a little, relaxing as the stress seems to just melt away.

“Thanks. I should be back at my usual time, but if things take longer than expected, I’ll see if Brett can come relieve you.” I shake my head and grab the storage container off the counter.

“Don’t worry about it. I can stay till you get home, Cole. It’s not a problem, I promise. The boys go with me to check on grams a few times a day then we hang out, play games, read stories and cook. It’s not like I don’t enjoy my time hanging out with them, so don’t worry about it…seriously.” Any remaining tension in his muscles officially vanishes and he’s now slouched against the fridge, nodding his head while looking completely thrown off by this whole situation.

“Yeah, okay…thanks.”

Chapter 4

Cole

How the hell did this happen? She’s watched my boys for four damn days and, somehow, she’s managed to just weave herself into our lives. The boys spend the evenings telling me about all the ‘cool stuff’ they did with Cam and she’s cooked dinner for us every damn night without making a big deal out of it, but here’s the thing…it is a big deal!

This isn’t how things are with Janet who shows up, keeps the boys alive then leaves when I get home. This is her putting in effort to make my boys happy, not just keep them alive. This is her taking the time to feed them real food, not some shit that you microwave. This is her showing up and giving my boys her time and attention without looking at them like they’re a job.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the fact that she’s still refusing to let me pay her! I handed her $100 this morning when she showed up at five in the damn morning and after a lot of arguing, she took it. I thought that was the end of it, but then I got home, two hours later than normal, and she hurried out the door. It wasn’t until I made it into the kitchen that I noticed a glass jar on the counter that had the lid sealed on with enough duct tape to be considered excessive and inside it…the $100 I gave her this morning.

That woman confuses the hell out of me and I’m really struggling to figure her out. She’s not like the women I’m used to, but I can’t tell if it’s just an act, or just if she’s just like this. My ex, Sarah, didn’t seem like a selfish, heartless bitch either…until she did. It’s a daily struggle now, half of me wanting to keep her from getting too close while the other half wants to hold onto this little bit of peace, the kind of peace that has my boys smiling, helping with chores, has them feeling more alive than they have since their mom dipped out on us.

“Dad, is Cam coming tomorrow?” Cody’s soft, hopeful voice makes it impossible not to smile as I’m tucking him in for bed.

“Not tomorrow, buddy. I don’t work tomorrow. I think Mrs. Abby will be back to watching you guys next week though.” His disappointment is instant and that shit hits me like a freight train right in the sternum.

“But I like Cam.” I see the tears already pooling in his big blue eyes and it damn near guts me. She’s to close to them and now, no matter what, my boys are going to be destroyed if she bails on them and it’s my fault. I let her in, but I honestly didn’t have a choice.

“I know, buddy. I’ll find out what the plan is for next week in the morning. Get some sleep. I love you.” I place a kiss on his forehead, but I don’t miss the slight stutter in his breath as he fights back those tears.

“Love you too.” I check to make sure Joey is still asleep then grab the baby monitor, head downstairs, grab a beer and slip out onto the front porch. I was expecting to sit down and enjoy a beer in peace, but I barely sit my ass down before I hear Miss Mary’s voice and she sounds upset.

“Cam, sweetheart, you know what he’s doing. That fool will never change. Why the hell would you agree to meet with him?”

“Grams, I swear to you, I have absolutely no intention of buying his bullshit, but I know he won’t stop until I at least hear him out. He’s been calling and texting every damn day. Hell, the asshole even sent me an email for Christ’s sake! I just want him to stop and if meeting him to hear whatever stupid shit he has to say will get me that, then I need to do it.”

“I don’t want him here, Cam. I won’t welcome that lying, cheating prick into my home.”

“I know, but that’s why I agreed to meet him at the diner in town. I just want him to back off, grams. I just want to get on with my life.”

“Well, why don’t you block him? That’s a thing you kids do, right? Block people? Or is it freeze them?” Cam’s soft chuckle combined with Mary’s confused voice has even me smiling from my damn porch.

“It’s blocking and I have blocked him, grams. I blocked his number four times, but he just keeps calling from different ones. I’ve blocked his email address and he just makes a new one. It’s not like I haven’t tried cutting him out of my life, but he’s like a damn parasite. I’ve tried everything! Hell, I tried getting a restraining order for harassment and the judge said I didn’t have sufficient grounds to file.” God, this guy sounds like a total prick.

“I don’t want you going alone, Cam. I don’t trust him.”

“Yeah, well I don’t trust him either, but I can’t have people fighting my battles for me either. Besides, who the hell would I have go with me? You would strangle him the second you see him and I don’t really know anyone else here that I could ask to suffer through a meeting with my ex.”

“Where are you meeting him and when?”

“Tomorrow morning at June’s Diner, nine o’clock. Why?”

“So I know where to look if you aren’t back within two hours. He lays a hand on you or says one wrong thing…I’ll castrate the bastard myself.”

“I’ll be okay, grams…I will.”

“Well, let’s get our asses to bed so we can make sure you’re ready to face that asshole in the morning.” I hear their footsteps on the porch followed by the sound of the door creaking open then closing. Don’t ask my why, but I down my beer and turn in for the night while the only damn thing I can think of is getting up early so I can call Brett to have him sit with the boys while I go to the diner in the morning.

Why the hell am I here? It’s ten minutes till nine and I’m sitting in this diner for reasons I honestly don’t understand while I watch the doors, waiting. At five till, a tall man with a lean body and a fancy ass suit walks in. The waitress leads him to a booth about ten feet away from mine and a few minutes later, she walks in, not bothering to wait for the waitress before making her way to the table where the man’s sitting. With my hat on and my head down, she doesn’t notice me, or maybe her mind is just too focused on the man at the booth to take in her surroundings. She slides into the booth, sitting across from him, and her first question is out before the creaking of the vinyl even fully fades.

“What the hell do you want, Dalton?”

“Look, I know we had some problems, Cam, but I think I deserved a chance to prove I could change. Instead of getting a second chance, you served me with divorce papers. I think you were being completely unreasonable.”

“And I think you dicking down your brother’s fiancé was unreasonable, but that didn’t stop you now, did it?”

“Cam, you know you raked my ass over the coals in that divorce. We were married for four years and they gave you half of everything! You didn’t earn any of it, you just stayed home and didn’t do a damn thing, but they gave you half of everything I worked my ass off to build!”

“Ah, I see. You aren’t here about me…you’re here about the money? Well, let me clue you into something. While you were working late hours, going on business trips, attending training seminars and all that other work shit that was code for screwing your brother’s fiancé, I wasn’t just sitting around doing nothing. I started working three months after we got married. I worked from home, kept the house clean, cooked every damn meal, ninety percent of which you never showed up for, and all the while, you were spending your time and money on someone else. No matter how you spin it, you’re the asshole here, not me.”

“Look, I know I screwed up, okay? I screwed up with Ally, I screwed up with my job and I screwed up with some of my investments. I figured that maybe, if we sit down like adults and I explained things, maybe we could come to an agreement and you could give back some of the money you stole in the divorce.”

“Stole? The money I stole in the divorce? Are you kidding me right now?! I didn’t steal a damn thing, Dalton! The judge decided that the money I was given was the closest he could get to compensating me for the four years of my life that you wasted! That money, you’ll never see a god damned dime of it. Now, I suggest you lose my number, forget my name and move on with your life because we’re done here. I don’t owe you a damn thing and the truth is, the best decision I ever made was divorcing your sorry ass.” I hear the vinyl cushion creak as she slides out of the booth, but then that prick does something that has me flying out of my seat in a flash…he grabs her arm and jerks her toward him.

“You listen here…” Before he can finish whatever bullshit he’s about to say, my hand is gripping his wrist tightly, tight enough that he releases her before she can even blink.

“No, you listen, asshole. If you ever lay a finger on her again…if you ever call her, text her, email her, hell, if you so much as send a damn carrier pigeon to her, I’ll end you.” He tries to jerk his arm back, but my grip only tightens which makes him wince from the pressure.

“Fine! Now get your fucking hands off me, asshole!” I finally let go, but acting on instinct, I move myself in front of her, preventing him from being able to so much as see her, let alone touch her again.

“I hope you know that she’s not worth it. She’s a shit lay, she’s lazy and she’s can’t cook worth a damn either. She’s literally useless, so don’t be a fool. Don’t waste your time on her when you can find a better woman on any street corner.” He storms off and my eyes track his movement until he’s out the door, but that’s when I notice her lowered head and shaking shoulders. I swear, I’m running purely on instinct now because I don’t even hesitate to pull her into me and wrap my arms around her tight as she continues to sob.

“Cole, I called the sheriff. I think she should file a restraining order and every damn person here will fill out statements to help out.” I nod my head at the waitress, more to get her to go away than in agreement at the moment. I carefully guide her back to the booth until she sits down then I kneel down in front of her.

“Look at me, Cam.” It takes a second, but she lifts her chin until those glassy green eyes finally meet mine.

“That asshole was trying to hurt you, but not a damn thing he said was true. Becca called the sheriff and when he gets here, we’re going to fill out a statement and file for an emergency protection order. Every person here is going to write statements too. Don’t you dare let yourself believe a word that fucker said to you. Don’t you dare let him win.” She takes a deep, stuttering breath then slowly nods.

“Okay.” It’s one word that’s delivered on a shaky breath, but it’s enough for now. I flag Becca down and have her bring me and Cam a coffee, but I move us to my booth, wanting to get her away from the spot where it all went down. Once the sheriff arrives, things move fast. Cam fills out her statement and between me and the other people here, both customers and staff, he has nine witness statements to back Cam’s. He calls the judge directly, one of the many perks of living in a small ass town, and gets the order approved with no fanfare.

“Alright, now that all that’s sorted, why don’t we get out of here?” She nods, but it’s impossible to miss how much this whole mess is weighing on her.

“Hey, I was wondering…would you be willing to have the boys help you make some more of those cookies? I’ve been dying for some all damn week.” It’s a weak attempt to flip her mood, but I’m relieved when I see the soft smile as she nods her head.

“Yeah, I can do that. I’ll need maybe an hour after I get back though. I need to tell grams everything.” I easily agree then wait for her to get into her car and drive away before climbing into my truck. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but for once, I’m not pissed off at myself for trying to help a woman out. Hell, as much as I don’t want to admit it, it felt damn good to see her smile because of me.

Chapter 5

Cole

I waited till eleven thirty to start getting the boys ready then sent off a text to Janet, checking in on her and her husband. Turns out he needs help to do damn near everything still and for once, the idea of not being able to rely on her doesn’t feel like a damn weight settling on my chest…because I have Cam. The boys and I head over to Mary’s, finding the door already open and Mary calls us in before we can even knock.

“Come on in, boys. Cam’s in the kitchen getting everything ready now.” The boys fling open the screen door and run inside with me trailing behind them.

“Hey, Cole. How’ve you been?” Mary’s sitting at the breakfast bar, watching me with a damn smile on her face.

“Been busy, but alright. How you holding up?” The boys are already helping, grabbing mixing bowls and measuring cups while Cam sets the ingredients on the island.

“I’m doing alright. I want to thank you for being there for my Cam. I knew it was a bad idea for her to meet up with him, but I guess I get why she did it. At least now, she can take legal action if he reaches out to her instead of having to just put up with it.” I nod my head, but my eyes are still watching Cam. Her dark brown hair is in a messy bun that looks like barely contained Chaos resting on top of her head and she’s changed from the jeans and t-shirt she was wearing at the diner. Now she has on a pair of jean shorts that show a lethal amount of her creamy white skin and a baggy t-shirt that’s tucked in only in the front. She’s damn beautiful, no denying it.

“That guy…he’s a real prick. What did she ever see in him?” I don’t know why I’m asking…maybe to fill the silence, maybe out of genuine curiosity…who knows.

“Well, he wasn’t like this in the beginning. That little shit had us all fooled, but she married him because it pissed off her momma. That woman damn near destroyed Cam and when she came back, claiming to be sober right before Cam turned eighteen, she told Cam she couldn’t be with Dalton and that she needed to stay away from him. Next thing we know, a few weeks after her eighteenth birthday, Cam came home and showed her momma the marriage license.” God, she was barely a legal adult when she jumped into marriage and that asshole is who she got stuck with?!

“She’s better off without him.” Mary nods in agreement as we both watch Cam help Holden and Cody with measuring and mixing the ingredients while Joey sits on her hip, holding a wooden spoon like a damn scepter as he swings it around like a little king commanding his royal subject.

“I know you got yourself more than enough reasons to not trust us women, but…Cam’s one of the good ones, Cole. She’s not like their momma…or hers. My Cam would never do anything to hurt those boys…or you.” She says it like it’s gospel, not a shred of doubt in the mix and, as much as I don’t want to, I believe her.

“I don’t know how to do this, Mary…to trust someone…especially not with my boys. I don’t know how to believe that she’s different…that she’s good, but…I’m trying.” And that’s the bare bones truth of it. Even when I denied it and even now, the truth is that I’ve been trying to trust her and, little by little, I’m getting there.

“That’s all I can ask, Cole.” We spend the next two hours watching as the boys and Cam bake four batches of cookies, most of which she sends home with us, then I make sure she’s okay with watching the boys again next week. By the time we make it home, it’s time to start dinner, though Cody and Holden are quick to point out that it’s not as good as Cam’s cooking…of course it’s not. That woman manages to make the most simple meals seem like a gourmet cuisine layered in comfort. How the hell can I compete with that?

We went from Cam watching the boys for an extra week, to her watching them for the last three and we’re now starting the fourth week while Janet helps her husband with his recovery and drives him to physical therapy five days a week. As hard as I tried not to, I’ve gotten used to having Cam in our lives and, as surprising as it is to even me, I enjoy having her around. During the first week, she was pretty quick to leave after I got home, but the last two weeks, she’d stick around and ask about my day.

It’s such a foreign thing for me to have someone show genuine interest in the events of my day and she doesn’t even bat an eye lash when I bitch and moan about shitty clients or incompetent contractors. On top of showing interest in my day, all last week, she stayed and ate dinner with us, at the boys’ request, and it felt so…natural.

This week is already bound to be sheer chaos at work with me having to leave the house by five thirty and my final appointments for the day all start between four and five in the evening. Maybe my expecting chaos is why I’m so damn surprised when Cam walks into the house this morning with an insulated lunchbox and a thermos that she sets on the counter in front of me as I try to finish my first cup of coffee at five in the damn morning.

“Alright, there should be enough coffee here to get you through the morning then there’s a sausage, egg and cheese burrito with bell pepper and onion for your breakfast. I didn’t know if you’d have access to a microwave by lunch time, so I packed a ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce, tomato and red onion for your lunch as well as a bag of chips and some grapes.” I…don’t even know what the hell to say. Even when I was married to Sarah, she never once packed my lunch for me, made coffee for me or even got up before I left for work in the morning.

“Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that.” I feel even worse about her not letting me pay her now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried, but now there’s three hundred dollars in that damn jar with the lid duct taped on it.

“It’s seriously not a problem. I know this week is going to be rough, so I figured this might make it a tiny bit less overwhelming.” She’s downplaying the shit out of it, making it seem like this isn’t the nicest damn thing anyone’s done for me in longer than I care to mention. Hell, I guess she doesn’t really know that, but I’ll be damned if I don’t make it clear that I appreciate it.

“A tiny bit? Hell, Cam, this is amazing. Thank you. You don’t have to do this, but I appreciate that you did.” I don’t know if she was geared up for a rejection, or maybe expecting me to be angry, but the second I finish speaking, I see her entire body relax.

“Grams is going to Iris’s for dinner, so I thought I would have the boys help me make chicken parm for dinner. That okay?” I find it funny that she asks, as if I’ve turned down a home cooked meal yet.

“Sounds good. Let me give you some money for the stuff for it…” Yeah, she shuts that shit down fast.

“Nope, I already picked up everything last night to cover dinners for the week and even got some more snack stuff for the boys.” I don’t know why, but hearing that she didn’t just buy stuff for dinner, but specifically bought snacks for the boys…it makes my damn heart clench and a knot forms in my throat that I struggle to choke down, barely rasping out my next words past the ball of unexpected emotion that simple comment left me with.

“Thanks, Cam.” She gives me a soft smile, one that doesn’t hold a hint of gloating, smugness or even satisfaction. It’s a smile that damn near makes my heart stutter…one that says ‘don’t worry, I’ve got this’ and I’ll be damned if that isn’t something I damn well don’t feel I deserve, not from her…not after how I’ve treated her.

“Anytime, Cole. Have a good day at work and we’ll see you when you get home.” Damn, how does it feel so good hearing her call this place home? Since Sarah left, this house has been nothing more than the place where I try to pretend I’ve got all my shit together even though, outside these doors, my whole world is fraying at the edges, waiting for one wrong move that will completely unravel the whole thing.

Today was hard, harder than most. Between the last job running longer than expected and me slicing my damn hand open on a jagged section of my last client’s gutter, I’m done…thoroughly over it. I should’ve been home three hours ago, but when I sent Cam a text to let her know I’d be late, all she said in response was ‘you’re good. I’ve got the boys, so do what you need to do’. Now, I’m walking through the damn door at ten minutes past nine, my entire body weighing a ton and my hand throbbing like hell, but the smell of something rich, warm and savory dulls the ache of the day just enough to bring a small smile to my damn face.

“Hey! How was your…oh god! What happened?!” Cam’s voice goes from soft to whisper yell in record speed as she rushed over to me, immediately reaching for my wrist, pulling me close enough to inspect my poorly bandaged hand.

“It’s nothing, just cut my hand on a gutter.” She arches her brow, giving me that ‘are you serious’ look before shaking her head at me and tugging me toward the kitchen.

“Let me guess, you rinsed it off with a hose then slapped a bandage on it and called it good?” It’s amazing how close she is to the truth, though it wasn’t a hose…

“Pretty much, but it was a bottle of water and a bandage.” That earns me a stern glare followed by an eye roll as she guides me to sit at the dining table.

“Stay there and I’ll be right back.” She quickly grabs a beer out of the fridge, opens it and sets it in front of me before hauling ass out of the house. She comes rushing back in a few minutes later and now my brow is arched as I spot the rather large first aid kit she’s carrying as she makes her way to me. She sets the kit on the table then drags one of the chairs over to me and takes a seat.

“You don’t have to do this, it’s not that bad.” Yeah, that glare, it shouldn’t be as adorable as it is.

“Give me your hand and don’t argue, mister.” And, yeah, I give her my hand. She’s so damn gentle as she removes the half ass wrapping from my hand that was made with a partial roll of gauze and some sports wrap I found in my truck.

“Shit…not that bad, huh? Cole, you need stitches, but since even I know you won’t go to the damn hospital for it, I’ll use some butterfly bandages to hold it all together for now and we’ll check it again in the morning.” I don’t argue because, well, what the hell can I even say to that? She’s one hundred percent right about me not being willing to go to the hospital, so I shut my damn mouth, drink my beer and watch her work her magic.

“Thanks, Cam.” My voice is rough from a hard day’s work and too damn much shit clogging my mind, but the words are sincere…they’re real…and the look on her face tells me she knows it.

“You’re welcome, Cole. Now, sit here while I dish up dinner and grab you another beer.” Which is exactly what I do. I knew that whatever she made smelled amazing, but when she sets a beer in front of me followed by a plate with Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and honey glazed carrots, I feel something in me shift. She’s spent almost three weeks now taking care of my family better than my ex ever did, even after how shitty I was to her in the beginning.

Chapter 6

Camille

“It looks amazing.” I give him a soft smile then go back into the kitchen only to come back out with a plate for myself that I set in my usual spot, the one right next to his.

“The boys seemed to like it and none of them died, so that’s a thing.” I hate that this is a default mechanism of mine, downplaying and underselling everything I do. I know it’s a result of how my marriage to Dalton conditioned me to behave, but it’s a hard habit to break.

“You didn’t eat with them?” It’s obviously a realization that hits suddenly and the words seem to spill out of him before the thought even fully settles in.

“Nope. I told them I’d wait for you so you weren’t eating alone.” I take my first bite, always trying to keep my movements delicate and not make any unnecessary sounds. I watch as he takes his first bite and, yeah, there’s nothing delicate about it and there sure isn’t anything delicate about the way he damn near moans in approval.

“Holy shit, this is delicious, Cam.” That earns him an amused smile and a gentle nod of my head.

“I’m glad you like it. So, now that you’re all bandaged up, how was your day?” He always seems so damn shocked when I ask, but I can tell it’s not something that bothers him. Hell, if anything, he seems to enjoy it.

“Same shit, new day. The last job of the day was supposed to be a simple patch job on a small leak, but turns out that small leak wasn’t so small. Had to replace insultation and four of the boards on the roof before replacing the underlayment and shingles on the damn thing. What was quoted as a two hour job max, turned into a six hour job.” I think he assumed when I first started asking about his day that I was just asking out of some sense of obligation, asking just to be polite, but that’s not me.

The first time I asked, I had him break down the basics of his day and I asked questions, I engaged with him to learn more about what it is that he does. After a few days of it, I learned the basics and the names for a lot of the tools and supplies used in his job.

“Shit, that’s…wait…how the hell could there be that much damage and be called a small leak repair? Are the homeowners idiots?!” He almost looks startled by my frustration over the situation, but he’s also clearly amused too.

“Yeah, but most of the people we deal with are. So, I’ve been curious since the day at the diner, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…I was just wondering what kind of job you were doing before? You had mentioned you worked from home?” It’s not really a surprising question, but the answer, well, that might surprise him a little.

“Well, I was doing accounting and helping handle quarterly tax filings for a few companies. I wasn’t making as much as my ex, but I did well enough.” There I go, downplaying things again, but it’s like I can’t even help myself sometimes. Sure, it’s true that I wasn’t bringing home as much as Dalton, but I brought in enough to build up quite a nice savings account for myself, then add to that the money I got from the divorce, I was able to pay off grams’ mortgage without even making a dent in my savings.

“You got degrees and shit for that?” I nod and can’t fight off my smile.

“Yeah, got my accounting degree just after Dalton and I were married. I started the classes when I was sixteen. It’s only an associate’s, but it got my foot in the door and then a friend had me take tax classes with her. The job I had, I found it completely by accident and I couldn’t even believe it when I submitted my resume and they actually called me back.” He has this smile on his face, not one of those ones people give you to cover for the fact that they really don’t give a shit about what you’re saying, but one of those ones that holds something dangerously close to pride.

“That’s great, Cam. You planning on finding a job out here?” I can’t stop my shrug, not entirely sure what the hell my plans are yet.

“I don’t know yet. I’ve put so much focus into the divorce then everything with grams…I haven’t really decided what my next move’s going to be. At first, I had just planned to stay here until grams was doing better, but I’ve been thinking I might stick around…come home for good.” He nods his head, slow but firm as his expression shifts to intense determination.

“What if I could get you some part time work? You could probably do it from home, but I know my boss has been struggling with the finances and shit. I can’t guarantee he’ll agree to it, but I can mention it to him.” I know he can see how much the offer surprises me, but even if he didn’t, I know my tone would give it away.

“Yeah, I’d be interested.” Before I can make a fool out of myself, I quickly jump to the next step of this new little routine by grabbing our now empty plates and taking them to the kitchen. I get them rinsed and placed in the dishwasher then wipe down the counters while Cole finished his beer.

“Alright, the kitchen is clean and your hand should be good until tomorrow morning. I’ll come over a few minutes early to get that hand cleaned and rebandaged before you leave for work.” He stands up and follows me as I head toward the door.

“You really don’t have to do that, Cam. You’ve done a lot already.” I stop at the door, my hand on the door knob as I give him a stern look that seems to only succeed at amusing him.

“I’ll be here at four forty-five and I will rebandage that hand. See you in the morning, Cole.” As soon as I step out the door, he’s there, holding the door as he watches me walk down the steps.

“Goodnight, Cam.” I wave over my shoulder and head to my gram’s front door while Cole, he stays there, watching me until I’m safely inside, something he started doing any time he gets home after it’s dark out.

I woke up at three in the damn morning…again…and immediately rushed through my morning routine. I managed to be showered, dressed and get breakfast for everyone as well as Cole’s lunch made before heading over to his place at four forty. I stopped knocking last week when Cole insisted I just walk in when I get there in case he’s not downstairs, but today is the first day the door is already open. I walk in and use my foot to close the door then carry everything to the kitchen, setting it all on the counter.

“Man, you weren’t kidding, but…what’s all that?” Cole’s voice startles me, but I still turn and give him a smile over my shoulder as I finish sliding everything to the back of the counter.

“Well, I made a breakfast casserole and then I made you a grilled chicken wrap for lunch…oh, and the thermos of coffee is for you too.” Once I’m sure everything isn’t going to topple over, I grab the first aid kit that I had left on the counter last night and head to the kitchen table. I’m a little more than shocked when Cole sits down in front of me without any argument. He sits perfectly still while I remove the bandage, clean the wound and place a new bandage on it, almost like he resigned himself to his fate before I even arrived.

“Thanks, Cam…for everything.” God, I can only imagine how hard it must be for him to drag those words out of himself, but it just makes me appreciate them more.

“You’re welcome, Cole.” I get up, throw away the old bandage then set the oven on low and place the casserole inside to keep it warm until the boys wake up. While I’m dealing with that, Cole gets his work boots on and finishes the rest of his pre-work routine. By five thirty, he’s coming in to grab his coffee and lunch.

“I have a job at four, but should be done by five and home before six.” His tone, the one that used to be rough and cold, now has a softer edge, but I honestly don’t think he’s capable of speaking without an edge to his tone.

“Alright, we’ll be here.” He gives me that crooked smile and a nod of his head before turning to head for the door.

“Have a good day at work, Cole.” He pauses at the door, giving me one last look over his shoulder before mumbling a ‘you too’ and leaving. The day flies by in a flurry of games, baking, playing outside and story time, but Cole calls at five to let us know he was called to handle an emergency job that might take a few hours. I, of course, assure him I’ve got things handled at the house, so he gets headed to the job while I wrangle the kids and handle their bedtime routine when he’s still not home by nine. I wait, slowly feeling worry set in, until just before ten when there’s a knock on the door that has me practically sprinting to answer it…but I wasn’t expecting Brett to be the one on the other side.

“Hey, Cam. Cole…he was in an accident after he left the site. His truck was hit…car ran the red light…in the hospital…here to take over so you can go home and get some rest.” I only catch bits and pieces of what he’s saying and it takes more than a minute for my mind to catch up so I can ask my first question.

“How is he?” He takes a deep breath, one that does absolutely nothing to ease my worry.

“He’s pretty banged up. He has a few broken ribs, a lot of bruises, a concussion and his left leg is a solid bruise, but nothing’s broken there.” My breath catches in my throat and I find myself nodding for no particular reason.

“Okay…okay…you need to be there for him. Grams is doing better, getting around alright all by herself. I’ll stay here with the boys…keep them distracted the best I can. As soon as he’s feeling up to having visitors, we can take the boys to see him.” Brett stares at me for a long beat before nodding. I know he’s probably surprised by me insisting on stepping in, but he hasn’t been around to witness the shift in my relationship with Cole since he and his wife have been away on vacation the past eleven days.

“Alright, yeah…I can do that. Are you sure though? I can handle the boys, Cam. I don’t want to force you to stay here…” I don’t let him finish, refusing to hear him make this into an obligation when it’s the furthest thing from it.

“You’re not making me do shit, Brett. I’m staying with the boys and I’ll hold things down here. Just keep me posted on how he’s doing and I’ll do a store delivery for a new car seat for Joey and a new booster for Cody. You just…just focus on keeping an eye on Cole. He’s a stubborn ape and is probably going to make the nurses lives hell.” He gives me a sad smile, but nods his agreement.

“Alright, but if you need anything, you let me know right away. Got it?” I let out a shaky breath and nod.

“Yeah, you too.” I watch as he leaves then close and lock the door before moving myself to the couch. I wrap the throw blanket around me and it isn’t until I let the silence in the house settle over me that everything hits me all at once. I break down into a mess of sobbing hysteria until my exhaustion finally pulls me under.

Chapter 7

Cole

I hurt…everywhere. From the tips of my toes to the top of my damn head, it all hurts. Hell, even my damn hair hurts! It’s not like I don’t know what happened and I sure as hell know where I am, but this is shit. I’m stuck here, in this sterile, shitty ass hospital room, but all I can think of is the boys and Cam. The poor thing must be freaking the hell out by now. I know I asked Brett to go relieve her and have been waiting to hear from him for almost two hours now. Maybe that’s why I fight my stiff and throbbing body to grab my phone off the side table the second I hear it ring.

“Hey, how are the boys?”

“They were sleeping when I got there. Cam’s insisting on staying with them and told me to focus on making sure you don’t piss off all the nurses.” Of course she did. I can’t fight back my smile, even though that shit hurts like hell.

“Sounds about right. Shit, she going to call you over if she needs to go anywhere? Cody and Joey’s seats were in my truck…”

“Don’t get mad, but she’s doing a store delivery for a new car seat for Joey and a new booster for Cody. She said she wants to bring the boys to see you as soon as you’re feeling up for it.” My damn heart clenches and I’m not afraid to admit I feel a little overwhelmed by what she’s doing for my family.

“I’ll call and talk to her later. Thanks for everything, man.”

“Don’t mention it. Just focus on getting better. Between me and Cam, we’ll handle everything else.”

“I appreciate it. I’ll see you later, but you better call if anything comes up.”

“You know I will. Get some rest, Cole. I’ll come see you tomorrow.” We end our call, but before I can set the phone down, I see a message that came through during my call with Brett…a message from Cam.

Cam: I’d ask how you’re feeling, but I feel that would be a ridiculous question right now. Instead, I’m going to tell you not to stress yourself out about things here. I’ll handle the boys and keep the house from burning down. Please let me know if there’s anything you need me to bring to you and I’d like to bring the boys to see you as soon as you’re feeling up for it.

The message came through ten minutes ago…at one fifteen. I could message her back, I could lie and say I’m okay, but instead, I find myself dialing her number and pressing the phone to my ear. It only rings twice before her voice comes through the line.

“Cole?! Oh my god! Are you alright? Never mind, that was a really stupid question. Did they give you pain medication?”

“I’ll be alright, Cam. I just talked to Brett. Tell me how much the kid’s seats are and I’ll get it to you when you come by.”

“Cole, shut the hell up. You’re not getting me shit. Now, are they taking good care of you? Do you need me to have Brett bring you anything?” I feel my breath hitch at the depth of the concern in her voice, but I manage to choke out an answer.

“Yeah, they’re treating me fine, Cam. I’m good for now, but how were the boys?” The sigh of relief that slips through the line has my lips curling as she jumps into answering me with a slightly more upbeat voice.

“Well, I think Joey is either possessed, or found a secret stash of sugar laying around because he spent three hours yesterday just bouncing off the damn walls. Cody and Holden helped me make meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner while Joey ran in circles and I’m fairly certain he was chanting to the Norse gods…or maybe summoning a demon, the jury’s still out on that one. Oh, and Cody and I were working on practicing some sight words and he’s doing pretty good with them so far.” God, from the second I met this woman, I was a complete dick to her, yet here she is, insisting on staying with my kids while I’m in the hospital and she’s even teaching my son how to fucking read!

“I know I said it already, but thank you, Cam. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for us.” It doesn’t even come close to what I really feel, but it’s going to have to do for now.

“It’s not a problem, Cole, really, it’s not. The car seats should be delivered by ten, so if you’re feeling up for a visit from the boys, I can bring them up to see you.”

“Yeah, I’d like that. Could you give them a little heads up about the bruises and shit? I look like I lost a fight to a top tier UFC fighter.” She snorts out a laugh that has me chuckling…which makes me wince, but I bite back the hiss from the pain. I don’t want her feeling bad especially about this.

“Yeah, I figured I’d have to tell them something. Alright, so, I’ll make sure they’re fed and I’ll grab a clean change of clothes and a pair of sweats or something for you…Oh, and some socks! I’ll bring all that up along with some body wash, deodorant, a toothbrush and toothpaste. Is there anything else you might need?”

“You don’t have to…” The ornery little thing doesn’t even let me finish, but I’m not even mad about it.

“Yet I’m still going to, so, is there anything else you need?”

“I…no…no, that should be everything.”

“Oh! Your phone charger!” I can hear her shuffling around which is when I realize that she’s packing it all right now.

“Cam…shit…I sound like a damn broken record here…but…thank you.” I know she catches the way my voice breaks and the weight of emotion behind my words, something made clear by the sudden silence on her end until she responds.

“You’re welcome, Cole. You should get some rest and I’ll text before I head over with the boys later. If you need anything, I don’t care what the hell it is, you let me know.”

“Will do, Cam. See you later.”

“Yeah, see you soon, Cole.”

It’s almost eleven when I get the text from Cam, a simple ‘you have two minutes to tell me if you don’t want us to come up yet, otherwise we’re invading your space in about thirty minutes’. My reply was just as simple, ‘come down when you’re ready’. Such a small, insignificant conversation, if you can call it a conversation, yet it seems so natural…like it’s just something we do all the time.

I just got done having my damn vitals checked for the tenth time today and getting talked to by the doctor when I hear Cody’s voice coming from somewhere outside my room. I didn’t think to tell Cam what room I’m in, but I can hear her soft voice talking to one of the nurses, the one who was just in my room less than five minutes ago.

“We’re here to see Cole Samuels.”

“Yeah, he’s in room 141. He’s awake, so go ahead and head in!” I can hear their footsteps on the hard tile floors seconds before I see Holden clear the doorway, quickly followed by Cody and Cam, who has Joey settled on her hip with a duffel bag and the diaper bag slung over her other shoulder. She closes the door once they’re all inside then sets Joey down so she can place the bags on the small table near the window.

“Hey, dad. You look bad.” Holden has always been blunt, but I can’t even be mad. Hell, if I look half as bad as I feel, then I look like complete shit. I don’t miss the glossy green eyes looking in my direction from where Cam stands by the window, but she seems intent on keeping her thoughts to herself, likely for the sake of the boys.

“Yeah? You saying my makeover was a flop?” Holden laughs which makes Cody giggle, though I doubt he actually knows why they’re laughing.

“Yeah, you look like you got hit by a truck.” That comment has Cam wincing, something the boys don’t notice with their backs facing her, but I sure the hell saw it.

“Feels like it too, but nope…it was just a Buick. You boys being good for Cam?” Even as they answer, she’s already nodding her head.

“Yeah, we are. Me and Cody helped Cam make dinner and clean the house.” Yeah, I don’t miss the way her cheeks flush red, but instead of hiding away…she just…smiles.

“I really appreciate that guys. I’ll be in here at least till tomorrow, so I need you to be on your best behavior. Can you do that for me?” Cody and holden nod while Joey starts spouting some of his toddler babble that, admittedly, does sound like some weird voodoo chant.

“We’ll be good, dad. We promise.” Holden’s confidence is slightly undermined by Joey who has decided he needs to look in the drawers near the sink, but Cam moves like lightning, getting to him just as his little hand wraps around the handle.

“No, bubs, we can’t go in there. That belongs to the doctor.” He doesn’t fight her, doesn’t throw a tantrum…he just smiles and walks over to my bed.

“Dada! Me hug?” he lifts his little arms up and I damn well know my body is too damn sore to lift him, but Cam swoops in again, picking him up and leaning him over my body without letting him put any pressure on it. I give him the best hug I can manage and he seems perfectly content with it. Before we can say anything more, Brett walks in and the fucker’s face lights up when he sees Cam and the boys.

“Hey boys, hey Cam, hey Cole. How’s everyone doing?” Holden and Cody give their variations of ‘good’ while Joey doesn’t say a damn thing and I just glare at the bastard. Cam mumbles an ‘okay’ that’s far from convincing and I know Brett’s ass caught it.

“Brett, why don’t you take the boys down and get them an ice cream or something from the cafeteria?” He gives me a surprised look, but the second my eyes dart toward Cam then back to him, he nods, thankfully getting my meaning without making me spell it out for him.

“Yeah, sounds like good times. Come on boys, let’s go see what they’ve got down there.” Cam watches as each of the boys walk over to give her a hug before following Brett out of the room with the door clicking shut behind them.

“Alright, I know I look like shit, but you can look at me, Cam.” Since she got here, she’s looked in my general direction, but hasn’t actually looked at me…not till right this second. I wasn’t fucking prepared. I wasn’t ready for the tears in her eyes and I sure the hell wasn’t ready for the second they start to fall.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She shakes her head and tries angrily wiping the tears away like they offended her on the deepest level, but it’s no use because those bastards just keep coming.

“I just…fuck…I spent all last night freaking the hell out about what happened and how you were doing, but…it looks…shit…are you in pain? Are you sure you’re okay?” Was she seriously that worried about me?!

“I won’t lie, it hurts like hell, but I’m going to be okay, Cam. Is that why you’re crying?” She nods her head as she lets out a heavy, shaky breath.

“Well, yeah? I mean, when Brett came over and he said you were in an accident…fuck…I freaked the hell out.” Don’t ask me why the hell I do it, but I reach for her hand and she doesn’t even hesitate to take it, letting me pull her closer while I try not to let her see how damn much the action hurts me.

“I’m alright, Cam. Look on the bright side, that damn cut on my hand got reopened and now the damn thing is stitched closed.” That earns a soft laugh, not enough to ease the tension completely, but enough to let her breathe a little.

“Good. At least something good came from all this. God, Cole, I’m so damn glad you’re going to be okay. I hope you know that I’ll be sleeping on your couch for a few days after you get home. You’re going to need help for a bit, so you’re stuck with me, like it or not.” Alright, that definitely gets a smile out of me, but I blame her determined glare and stern voice.

“You don’t have to, but I appreciate you, Cam, so damn much.” She squeezes my hand and I squeeze right back.

“As always, I know I don’t have to, but I’m still going to, so deal with it.”

Chapter 8

Camille

It’s been two days since the accident that landed Cole in the hospital and he’s finally coming home. The boys and I spent all yesterday evening getting the whole house cleaned and I started a roast in the crockpot an hour ago that’ll be ready by six. Now we’re sitting around, waiting for Brett to bring Cole home while I read to the kids to try to help distract us all. The second we hear the sound of a car door close out front, the book is forgotten and all of our eyes, even little Joey’s, are on the door.

“Boys! Cam! We’re home!” Brett’s voice calls out the second he opens the front door and while Holden and Cody rush over to him, Joey and I sit on the couch, not wanting to create another obstacle for them to navigate to get him inside.

“Dad! We made cookies yesterday for you and Cam started dinner! We’re having Roast with carrots and potatoes!” Holden’s excited voice has me smiling as I watch Cole limp in on crutches.

“Sounds damn good, bud. Anything’s better than that shit they fed me at the hospital. Where’s Cam and Joey?” With Brett’s giant ass in the way, it’s no surprise he can’t see us, but he quickly maneuvers around them when Holden points to us on the couch and his whole damn face lights up with a bright smile that I know has to hurt like hell, not that it stops him.

“Hey, how was everything?” I don’t doubt he can see the relief that washed over me the second he came through that door, but I don’t even care if he sees it.

“The kids were great and the house is still standing, so we’re calling it a win.” I watch him carefully make his way over to the recliner, lowering himself carefully then he hands the crutches to Holden.

“Bud, can you put these against the wall so no one trips over them?” Holden does as Cole asks and that’s when Brett speaks up.

“Aright, guys. If you’re all good here, I’m going to head home. I need to get some laundry done and hang with the wifey before work tomorrow.” We say our goodbyes and a few minutes later, he’s out the door. We all hang out in the living room, watching movies while the boys ask Cole tons of questions about the accident. Well, Holden asks questions about the accident while Cody asks questions about the crutches and then breaks into telling Cole about his flashcards.

“How are you doing, Cam?” I put the boys to bed almost an hour ago and have been sitting in the living room with Cole ever since, both of us staring at the TV, but I don’t think either of us were actually watching what’s on it.

“You get in a wreck and you’re asking how I’m doing?” He chuckles softly and nods his head.

“Yeah, I am. You stayed with the boys the whole time I was in there, so yeah, I’m asking how you’re doing.” I take a second to think about it, but the answer comes pretty easily.

“Aside from worrying about your grumpy ass, I’ve been good. The boys were great and grams is enjoying her peace and quiet. How are you feeling? Did they send you home with pain meds?” He nods and gives me a tired smile.

“I’m feeling a little better, but they sent me home with shit for the pain.” I take a second to do the mental math, realizing it’s been over eight hours since he got home which means he should be past due for his next dose.

“Shit, let me get you your pills and I’ll bring you some water.” I don’t wait for his response before getting up and heading right to his duffel bag that Brett left on the floor behind the couch. I find the prescription bottle with his pills easy enough then quickly grab three bottles of water, two for him and one for myself. Once he’s taken his pill, I put the pills on the shelf by the entertainment center, making sure they’re out of Cody and Joey’s reach.

“Alright, you need to use the restroom before we settle in for the night?” I can tell he’s hating this…relying on help for something as simple as using the restroom, but he manages a stiff nod.

“Yeah, but if you get me the crutches, I can handle it.” This man is insane, absolutely certifiable if he thinks he can maneuver the downstairs half bath’s cramped space on crutches.

“Yeah, I’m just going to help you get in there. I don’t know how the hell you fit in that small ass room, so fitting you and your crutches is asking for trouble.” I can tell he wants to protest, to flat out refuse to let me help him with this, but he’s either too damn tired, or maybe he sees that I’m not about to back down because he lets out a heavy sigh then holds out his hand for help. Getting him standing, I’ll admit, is more challenging than I expected. Don’t get me wrong, I knew he was built like a brick house, but seeing it and helping lift it are two very different things. I can tell he’s trying not to lean too much of his weight on me as we make our way toward the bathroom.

“Hey, I’m here to help and you’re treating me like I’m fragile…stop it.” I feel the vibrations of his deep chuckle vibrate through my side where I’m pressed against his, but the distraction of it fades when I feel more of his weight press into me.

“There, you happy now?” His playful tone pulls a smile out of me, but I quickly nod.

“Why, yes…yes I am. Alright, I’ll stay by the door so I can help you back to your chair when you’re done. I’d offer you the couch, but I think we can both agree that you’re too damn tall to fit.” He gives me a playful glare that’s nullified by the smirk on his face before he shakes his head, braces his hands on the doorframe and hops his ass into the bathroom…his ass that looks way too good in the grey sweatpants I brought to the hospital for him. I hear a few muffled curses before hearing the toilet flush followed by the sound of him washing his hands then the loud banging as he hops back to the door. When it opens, I try not to laugh at how annoyed he looks and I succeed…barely.

“Not…a…word.” His tone is still playful even though I can see that he’s genuinely irritated with the situation.

“Alright, you big baby, let’s get you back to your temporary bed.” I wrap one arm around his waist…most of the way around it…while he wraps his around my shoulders and lets me help him hop his happy ass back to the living room. Once I have him back in his chair, I run upstairs and grab one of the extra comforters from the linen closet then hurry back down to him. He gives me a confused look as I shake it out to unfold it then carefully cover him, almost like he was expecting me to force him to sort it out on his own.

“You need anything else?” He’s giving me this look…it’s a little intense and I can’t quite figure out what the hell he’s thinking or feeling, but then he shakes his head.

“No, I’m good, but thank you, Cam.” He clears his throat and gives me a strained smile as he carefully pulls the lever for the footrest and reclines back. I get situated on the couch, sitting on the cushion closest to the recliner and curling into a ball like a damn cat.

“Goodnight, Cole.” I barely mumble the words out, but I catch his response just as darkness pulls me under.

“Goodnight, Cam.”

Cole’s been home for four days and things, for the most part, have settled down a lot. He gets around on the crutches like a damn pro, but I still bring over breakfast and dinner for him and the boys. I’ve been trying not to hover too much, but I hate the thought of him trying to do too much and ending up hurting himself worse.

Today is just another day where I took them breakfast and now I’m back at gram’s, working on making homemade lasagna to take over for dinner since gram and Iris are going out for a lady’s night, which means an early dinner and bingo at the senior center. I finish getting everything together then head over at five, wanting to make sure I give myself time to help with the boy’s bedtime routine since Cole can’t make it up and down the stairs. The second I knock, I’m greeted with the sound of sheer chaos as Cody and Holden race to get to the door.

“Cam!” Cody wraps his arms around my legs and Holden quickly takes the dish with the lasagna so I can wrestle Cody back inside. Poor Cole is looking like he’s five seconds away from completely loosing his mind and he barely manages a smile as I walk past him. I quickly set the garlic bread on the counter and head back to the living room, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” And there’s that forced smile again as he shakes his head and lowers his gaze.

“The boys have been…a lot to handle today.” The way he subconsciously starts rubbing his leg makes it easy to see that he’s mostly upset over not being able to function normally enough to handle it on his own and I hate it for him.

“Okay, then let me stay a few more nights and I’ll help with the boys.” It’s such a simple suggestion, but I can tell how much it bothers him. It’s not even because it’s me, but because he hates relying on others and…I get it.

“Cam, I can’t…” Oh, this stubborn bastard. As if I’m really going to just let him suffer on his own here!

“But you can, Cole. I’m not offering out of some sense of obligation, or because I feel bad for you. I’m offering because I want to. You don’t have to go through this alone, so just…let me help you.” I know I sound like I’m practically begging him, but I don’t even care. I don’t want him to struggle and I don’t want the boys to see the less this broken and weary side of their dad.

“Cam, you’ve already done so much. It’s not fair…” I don’t let him finish. I’m not going to sit here and listen to him as he tries to talk me out of giving him the help he clearly needs.

“Cole, I’m staying and that’s final. I’m going to help you to the table then we’re all going to sit down and eat. After that, I’ll help get the boys to bed and then we’re going to watch a movie until it’s time to take your next pill.” Without giving him any more room to object, I help him out of the chair and into the dining room where I guide him to his usual chair. We all sit down and, I swear, this little ritual is quickly becoming something I never knew I could want.

Sitting here with Cole and the boys, listening to their random chatter about their day, things they want to do and all the random thoughts that cross Cody’s mind…it’s the most wholesome experience I’ve ever had. Once we’re all done eating, Cole insists on remaining at the table while Holden helps me clean up then I get him to his chair before getting Cody and Joey ready for bed.

“They give you any trouble?” I shake my head as I lower myself into my usual spot on the couch, my eyes watching him, looking for any sign he’s hurting as much as I feel like he probably is. The man’s like Fort Knox, not giving a damn thing away.

“No, no trouble. Let me get your pill for you.” I get up and grab the bottle off the shelf, shake one pill into my hand then return the bottle before turning and handing the small, white pill to him.

“I think you missed your true calling here. Maybe you should’ve been a nurse.” I settle back onto the couch and give him a tired smile, but shake my head.

“Nah. I’d be a shit nurse. The minute someone gets spicy with me, I’d sedate their ass. You got everything you need?” As soon as he nods, I grab the now folded comforter off the other end of the couch, shake it out and lay it over him, ensuring he’s properly covered.

“I owe you big time after all this, Cam.” I roll my eyes as I lean back, stretching my aching back out before tucking my legs up beside me.

“You don’t owe me shit. We’re not keeping score here, Cole. I know you’re having a hard time believing me, but I’m here because I want to be. I’m helping because I want to help. Now, get some sleep because no way in hell am I putting up with you being a grouchy ass in the morning.”

Chapter 9

Cole

While being laid up with half my body covered in bruises and scrapes, and one hundred percent of it sore as hell, undeniably sucks, there’s a silver lining…and her name is Camille. She showed up when I landed my ass in the hospital then she stayed when I came home. She tried going back to Miss Mary’s place, but I have a feeling it was out of fear of wearing out her welcome, not because she actually wanted to go. Even then, she still brought breakfast and dinner…still helped with the kids at bedtime.

She gave me my pain meds an hour ago then curled her small ass up on my couch and was out in minutes…but not me. I’ve been watching her sleep…for an hour…like a damn creep. I swear, everything in my world has shifted since she showed up, comforting my kid right outside my damn door like she belonged there…and, damn it…it feels like she does. I fought it, lord knows I did, but she carved out a place for herself in my world and I never even stood a damn chance…I just didn’t know that at the time.

I’ve spent the last few days wondering what the hell it is about her that broke down my damn defenses, but the only thing that comes to mind is the boys. My boys took to her like moths to a flame and it’s not just that they connected with her so easily, but she connected with them too. She opened her heart to them without ever being asked to. She just…did it…and she keeps doing it every damn day.

I tried to build up those damn walls, to reinforce them at every turn, but she came in and tore that shit down, plowed through them without even trying and I tried not to notice…tried not to feel the shift…I tried not to see her, but I screwed up. I let her in, I stood up for her and then I let her wreck me without so much as lifting a finger. She broke me down by doing nothing more than existing. These are my thoughts as I finally manage to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

It’s been eight weeks since the accident and I’m finally back to work and, much to my relief, sleeping in my own damn bed. Aside from the sharp pain in my chest when I move too sharply, I’m doing great. Cam’s still watching the boys, partly because the boys begged for her too and partly because Janet’s husband managed to reinjure his back when he took a tumble down their front steps. Cam and the boys made them cookies and Janet decided she loved her the second they met.

I’ve been working on this damn kitchen renovation for almost four hours when the text alert on my phone goes off and I want to check it, but with the big boss here, watching our every damn move while never lifting a damn finger to help, I can’t risk it till I’m on break.

I push through, working ten times harder in an attempt to make the time go by quicker. When my lunch break hits, I haul ass out to my company truck where my lunch box is waiting with the lunch Cam packed for me, but the first thing I do when I get into my truck is check the message.

Cam: Some woman stopped by. She was kind of a bitch and Holden freaked out. He won’t come out and won’t talk.

Me: Did she say who she was?

Cam: She said she’s a friend and said she’ll stop by again around six?

Me: Ok. Thanks, Cam.

After that text conversation with Cam, the rest of my workday drags on too damn long, but I finally leave the job site at five and head straight home, driving too damn fast with my mind too damn preoccupied. I make it home just before five forty, but my question about who the woman was is answered before I even get out of the car. Hell, I think that part of me already knew, but now it’s confirmed…fucking Sarah.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” I’m barely out of my work truck when I shout my far from welcoming greeting and she at least has the decency to act surprised by it.

“I thought we could talk and…I wanted to see the boys.” This woman…no…this vile, sorry excuse for a human being, she left our boys when Joey was only five months old and never once stopped to visit. She never called to check on them. I doubt the bitch has even spared them more than a few fleeting thoughts since she walked out that damn door two years ago, but now she’s here?

“We’ve got nothing to talk about. Those boys…my boys…you aren’t going to see them. You walked out on them without looking back, so you don’t get to come in here and undo two years of hard work just because you have some fucking agenda, or some delusion that you can sweep back in and pick up where you left off. You need to leave, Sarah. Leave…and don’t fucking come back.” Cam, poor fucking Cam, has been sitting on the top step of the porch with wide eyes this whole time, clearly not knowing what to say, or if she should say anything at all.

“Cole, I’d rather handle this between us, but I will get the courts involved if I have to. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” The mention of going through the court shit again has my entire body tensing, my stomach twisted in knots and my heart lurching.

“Fine, you want to talk? Then talk, but right here. You’re not going near my sons.” I don’t miss the look of disgust she gives Cam before redirecting her attention o me.

“I think this is something we should discuss alone…without your little girlfriend here. Hell, how old are you anyway? Are you at least legal?!” I know that Cam is younger than me, but I’ve never been bothered by it since she acts more mature than most people my age do.

“Excuse me?” Sarah rolls her eyes then refocuses her gaze on me.

“Oh, hon, don’t be offended. Now, why don’t you hurry along while the grown ups talk, okay?” Cam arches her brow, but doesn’t make a move to leave. I would keep my mouth shut and let her handle it herself, and something tells me that’s exactly what she’s about to do, but I can’t let her get dragged into this mess. Sarah is baiting her and I don’t need to give her more ammunition if she does end up dragging my ass to court again.

“Cam, why don’t you head on home for the night and I’ll see you in the morning?” The look of shock and hurt on her face fucking guts me, but I’m trying to do what I have to in order to protect the boys and I hope like hell she can see that.

“That’s right, run along. It’s probably past your bedtime anyway.” My eyes snap to Sarah, my glare sharp and cold.

“Shut the hell up, Sarah. I’ll see you in the morning, Cam.” She doesn’t say a damn word, just gets up and walks over to Mary’s house and goes straight inside without even looking back. I don’t know why, but that shit hits me too damn hard.

“You have exactly five minutes to say what you need to say then I want you to get the hell off my property.” At this point, she could tell me she won the damn lottery and I wouldn’t give a shit. I just want her gone!

“Cole, I know I hurt you and the boys and I know I made a lot of mistakes, but I want to try to fix this. I’m back now and I want us to be a family again.” I…what the fuck?! No! Not just no, but hell no!

“We were never a family, Sarah. Our marriage consisted of me working my ass off just to come home and find our boys with a babysitter because you decided to go out partying instead of taking care of our kids. Hell, I had to practically beg and threaten you to get you to quit drinking while you were pregnant with Joey! I don’t know what the hell brought you back, but you don’t have a family here. Me and the boys, we’re not your family…we’re just four people you used and then tossed aside when you got tired of us. Your five minutes are up. Get the fuck off my property.” She opens her damn mouth like she wants to say more, but I think she can see how close I am to losing my shit because she gives a stiff nod and storms off down the stairs and down the sidewalk. I don’t go inside until I can no longer see her.

I’ve been inside, pacing the damn living room, for forty minutes while Holden sits on the couch with Cody and Joey is passed out beside them. I had to explain to them who the ‘mean lady’ was and now I’m letting them process, but I wasn’t prepared for Cody, that amazing kid who seems to have no problem saying what the rest of us are thinking.

“I want Cam.” His little eyes are filled with tears and, damn it, I want Cam too…which is why I pull out my phone and fire off a text as fast as I can.

Me: Hey, you busy?

Cam: Oh yeah, big stuff going on over here. Just moved gram’s recliner to the other side of the living room…then she decided she liked it better where it was before. Real riveting stuff I tell ya.

Me: You should come over and eat dinner with us. Please, Cam?

Cam: Is she gone?

Me: Thank fuck, yes.

Cam: Be there in five, provided I don’t throw my back out moving this damn chair…again.

I turn and march my ass into the kitchen, following the delicious smell of whatever culinary masterpiece Cam threw together for tonight, you know, before our day got shot to shit by my ex. Without a word, Holden comes in and starts grabbing plates and silverware, getting the table set while I get the pan with the roasted chicken and vegetables moved to the table just in time for the front door to open. I swear, my breath catches in my throat at the sight of her brown hair pulled into one of those messy knots of sheer fucking chaos on top of her head, her tank top that shows the top of her cleavage and those short jean short that give me the most amazing view of her creamy white legs.

“Cam!” Holden is tearing off after her before she can even close the door and Cody is wrapping himself around her seconds later.

“Hey, guys!” She wraps one arm around Holden and the other pulls Cody tighter against her, but her gorgeous green eyes, those are watching me.

“Come on! I helped dad set the table!” Holden’s excitement has her smiling and delivering her response with just as much enthusiasm.

“You did?! I’m so damn proud of you, Holden. You’re an amazing kid, you know that?” As if this woman hasn’t already turned my whole damn world on its head, she leans her head in and kisses the top of his head, which has Holden’s face lighting the hell up.

Without a word, she gently wakes Joey up and gets him strapped into his booster chair. That kid, the one who almost always has a full on meltdown anytime he’s woken up from a nap, is beaming the biggest damn smile at her, like this woman hung the damn moon and stars herself. Hell, maybe she did.

The second we started eating dinner, we all fall back into our usual rhythm of everyone discussing their day, Cody spilling out every damn thought that enters his mind and Joey chanting voodoo curses at the carrots on his plate before viciously biting them in half. It’s a kind of routine I never thought we’d have, but like with everything else where Cam’s concerned, it just came out of nowhere and burrowed it’s way into our very foundation.

Once dinner’s been eaten and the dishes are done, we work together to get the boys settled for bed with Cam handling Joey’s bath so I can play a round of Mario Kart with Holden and Cody before tucking them in at ten till nine. After Cam has Joey dried, dressed and tucked in, I go in to give him goodnight kisses while she does the same for Holden and Cody, meeting me at the top of the stairs as she leaves Holden’s room. I act on instinct, taking her hand and leading her downstairs, not stopping till we reach the living room.

Chapter 10

Camille

I honestly wasn’t expecting Cole to ask me to come back over tonight, but I’m so damn glad he did. I was a little hurt when he asked me to go home, but it’s not because I felt he didn’t want me around or anything. I was upset because I wanted to be there to support him, just like he supported me when Dalton came down.

As much as I wasn’t expecting the text invitation, what was more surprising was the way Cody and Holden greeted me. You’d think I had been off on some long voyage and just returned…but I definitely didn’t hate it…not even a little.

Helping put the boys to bed, it’s one of my new favorite routines, but Holden gave me a whole new reason to look forward to it and it came in the form of a sleepily mumbled ‘I love you, Cam’. Yeah, I might’ve got a little teary eyed, but you can bet your ass that I told him I love him too before kissing his forehead and quietly leaving his room. Cole was waiting for me and, as if this whole day hasn’t already thrown my whole world into a damn tail spin, he wrapped his large hand around mine and led me down to the living room then he sat down on the couch, right next to my usual spot.

“Cam, I’m sorry I asked you to leave earlier. It’s just…the shit she was saying…I wanted to choke the fucking life out of her for talking to you like that. I knew that I had to do what I could to diffuse the situation so I could get her to leave before the boys got dragged into it.” I can hear his sincerity and I’m really not mad, just hurt that I wasn’t able to be there for him while he faced one of his past demons, but…I get it.

“It’s okay, Cole. What did she have to say?” I try not to let him see how much I wanted to wring that bitch’s neck, but the little smirk he gives me tells me I failed.

“She claims she wants to fix this…to fix us…but there’s no us to fix. I’ve got no love for that woman and the only good thing she ever did in her life was give me my boys. I don’t want her around the boys and I don’t want her around you. I’m so damn sorry for how she talked to you and I’m sorry I sent you away, but I was literally seconds away from ripping her damn throat out. I didn’t want the boys to see or hear anything she said and I just…I needed to get you away from her so she’d just…stop.” I could let him keep going and something tells me he would if I don’t speak up, but I decide to stop him there.

“I know, Cole. It’s okay. So…you think she’ll really take you to court? I mean, you have full legal custody of them, right?” I feel immense relief when he nods, but his expression is still so damn troubled.

“I do, but I can’t afford a damn lawyer again. I’m barely keeping us afloat now and last time my dad helped, but he doesn’t have the money for a damn legal war with my bitch ex and he lives halfway across the damn country now.” And here’s where Cole Samuels is going to learn a little something about me…like the fact that I have connections.

“Well, I can help with the lawyer. No! Don’t talk, just listen. I told you about my friend who encouraged me to go for that job, but what I didn’t tell you is that she’s married to one of the most sought after family law attorneys in the state. I can call and see if he’d be willing to take the case and before you say I don’t have to do this, I’m not doing it because I have to, I’m doing it because I want to. You and the boys…you deserve to live your lives without her shadow hovering over you.” I don’t know how it happens, maybe he leans in…maybe I do…but suddenly…we’re kissing.

I’m not innocent and I’ve definitely had a lot of kisses in my life, but this is something so different from every damn one of them. His left arm slides around my waist, pulling me into him while his right hand is at the back of my neck, tangled in my hair as he angles my head to deepen the kiss. I don’t hesitate to part my lips for him the second I feel his tongue graze my lower lip and he quickly accepts the invitation. By the time we break the kiss, we’re both panting, our foreheads resting against each other as our warm, heated breath mingles in the small space between us.

“Damn it, Cam…do you know what you’ve been doing to me? From the minute I saw you sitting on the damn sidewalk, holding Joey and comforting him…you’ve been breaking down every damn wall I’ve built up since the day that bitch left. I kept telling myself you were just like her…just like my mom. I told myself you would walk away just like they did, but I was so damn wrong. You just kept showing up, proving yourself every damn day.

“You stayed, Cam…and that…that wrecked me in the best fucking way. You were present, you stepped up and you didn’t fucking flinch at the chaos…you made yourself a part of it. You, Cam, are so fucking amazing and I’ve been wanting to hold you…to kiss you…to be with you for too damn long.” And his lips are back on mine, proving just how much he means every damn word.

As he pulls me tighter against him, I slide one leg over his lap, straddling him to close that fraction of space between us and give him better leverage to keep kissing me like his life depends on it. I don’t miss the large and rather impressive bulge in his jeans, the one that’s pressed firmly against my throbbing core, giving me enough friction to tease, but no where near enough to satisfy. As if on instinct, my hips gently roll, just once…just to test the waters…and the soft gasp that I swallow down mixed with his deep moan…yeah…nothing delicate or innocent there.

“Cam, baby, we don’t have to stop, but we need to move this behind closed doors in case one of the boys wakes up.” He’s not just being a responsible dad, but he’s giving me an out…one I have no plans of taking.

“Then we better get moving.” He pulls back just enough to lock his deep blue eyes with mine, probably searching for any hint of uncertainty, but he sure the hell won’t be finding any from me. The arm that’s been wrapped tightly around my waist slides down and hooks under my ass as he pins my body tighter against his and stands up, holding me like I weigh nothing. He carries me up to his room, which is, thankfully, on the other side of the upstairs, and into his room where he closes and locks the door.

“Are you sure…” Yeah, not letting him finish that thought! My lips crash into his and I feel him moving us further into the room until he slowly lowers me down onto his large, plush bed. I smile when he reaches over and turns on the baby monitor before leaning back and looking down at me, his eyes scanning every damn inch of me like he’s admiring a work of art.

“Do you know how many times I’ve had to look at you and tell myself I wasn’t allowed to touch you…to want you? Seeing you walk around looking like sin and being so damn good to my boys…you’ve been tempting me at every damn turn, Cam. All I’ve wanted is to touch you…to fucking taste you…to hold you.” The heat in his eyes is setting my whole body on fire and I want him…more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.

“Then what’s stopping you, Cole?” I get to watch it in real time…the second his last thread of restraint tightens, threatening to snap. He doesn’t dive right in, he doesn’t devour me. He gently lifts my left leg and carefully removes my shoe then does the same for the right. His hands gently slide up my legs, feeling each inch of smooth skin from my ankles to my thighs, only stopping when he hits the hem of my shorts.

“Can I?” I don’t know why it hits so damn hard that he’s asking, but it does. I nod my head then watch as he very carefully unbuttons and unzips them. I lift my hips as he begins sliding them off of me then tosses them onto the floor. I sit up as he reaches for the hem of my shirt and let him lift it up, my arms raising as he pulls it over my head and tosses it on top of my shorts.

“You’re so gorgeous, Cam. So fucking perfect.” I grab the hem of his shirt and lift it with urgency, needing to see him without the barriers and he allows me to remove it without protest. When he stands up in front of me, I watch as he unbuttons his pants and drags the zipper down so damn slowly until his pants finally drop to the floor at his feet. This man, his body built of hard, rigid muscle covered in the perfect sun kissed skin, stands before me in only a pair of boxer briefs while looking like a damn gift from the gods.

“Christ, Cole…you’re fucking beautiful.” I look up and see the look of disbelief and awe, like no one’s ever told him his body is a damn masterpiece, an idol worthy of worship and praise. Don’t even get me started on the straining bulge that’s barely being contained by the cotton and spandex material of those black boxer briefs! Carrying something that big around in your pants should definitely be illegal!

“Last chance, baby. If you want to stop, tell me now because I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back.” Oh, this gorgeous, foolish man! As if I’d ever want to stop! I offer my answer by reaching behind me and unhooking the clasp on my black satin and lace bra then slide the straps down my arms before tossing it with the rest of my clothes somewhere on the floor. He’s on me in a flash, hovering over me as I’m pressed into the soft mattress, his lips on mine, his hands caressing and grasping every damn part of my body that he can as they map it out like he’s discovering some new land.

“Fuck, baby, you’re body…it’s fucking amazing…so damn perfect.” His lips trail kisses from my jaw, down my neck, across my collar bone and then his mouth is worshiping my heaving breasts as I struggle to draw in air between desperate gasps, my back arching off the bed, my body instinctively seeking his. Once he’s satisfied, he places a kiss on my sternum then trails slow, wet kisses down to my stomach until his fingers hook into the sides of my black underwear, locking his eyes with mine as he slowly slides them down with my hips raised to help him. I watch in awe as he slides his boxer briefs down, baring himself to me completely and it’s a sight I’ll surely never forget.

Standing before me is a man who would put the greatest of gods to shame, but more amazing than his perfectly sculpted body with random scars covering his chest and arms, is the intense look of pure reverence he’s giving me as his eyes scan over me until they meet mine. He slowly crawls his way up the bed, up my body, until his lips are on mine and all I can think is…there’s no going back and for once, I’m okay with that.

Chapter 11

Cole

I can’t believe I’m finally touching her…finally kissing her and holding her…finally tasting her like I’ve dreamt of for too damn long now. Her body, it’s a damn work of art…a body designed to be both heaven and hell for men like me…a body created to be worshiped. As I settle my body over hers, her legs wrapping around me like it’s second fucking nature, I feel the heat and slick of her arousal against the head of my throbbing cock. The primal side of me wants to just sink into her, to take her like a damn animal until she’s screaming my name, but that side isn’t in control tonight, not even close. I’m going to take my time with her. I’m going to worship her like the fucking goddess she is and, if I’m lucky, I’ll continue to worship her far beyond this night.

When my lips find hers, I line myself up and slowly slide into her, feeding her one swollen inch at a time. I pause my movements with each hiss and gasp, wanting to give her time to adjust. I’ve always known I was well endowed, but until now, I’ve never cared so damn much about making sure I’m gentle, I’ve never worried so damn much about not fucking things up. By the time I sink the last inch into her, we’re both trembling and I’m fighting every damn one of my instincts to just slam into her, to take her like the desperate and starved man I am.

“Holy shit, Cole. You…fuck, you’re so big.” Yeah, that shit makes me chuckle. Her voice is nothing more than a breathy whisper, but those green eyes, they’re showing the same damn hunger that I’ve felt for fucking weeks now.

“I know, baby. I’ll be gentle, I promise.” Her eyes widen and her lips part, but then she says something…the one thing that destroys any chance I have of not ravaging her like a damn beast.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” I see the challenge in her eyes and my restraint shatters, turning to fucking dust as I draw my hips back and slam into her in one hard, deep plunge. The way she moans, the sound absolutely sinful and filthy, it’s my undoing. I slam into her again and again, drawing every wicked noise I can from her as her hands cling to my back, right below my shoulder blades. I feel her nails digging in and her walls begin fluttering around me until her entire body arches off the damn bed like she’s possessed, her eyes roll back in her head, her legs squeeze the hell out of me and her soaking wet cunt grips me like a damn vice.

When I feel her muscles start to relax, I resume my brutal, punishing rhythm, not holding back as I fuck her right through the end of her orgasm without mercy. Her high has barely begun to fade when I feel her gearing up for the next one, but I’m not far behind. With each stroke, every firm, deep thrust, I push us both closer to oblivion.

I’ve had sex before, more times than I can count with too damn many women who weren’t worth a damn, but this…this is different. My eyes find hers and I can’t look away, not even when I feel her drawing me in and gripping me so tight that I can’t hold back. The second my name leaves her lips on a breathy sound that’s somewhere between a moan and a cry, I bury myself deep inside her, emptying myself inside her with a deep moan while our eyes remain locked together.

“Cam, I don’t want this to be some casual thing…I don’t do casual. I want to see where this goes…but only if you want it too.” She stares at me for a long moment, her expression giving away nothing until…she smiles.

“That’s good because I suck at casual. I’m an all in kind of girl and I don’t just want you, Cole…I want the boys, the chaos…I want all of it. If you aren’t ready for that, it’s okay. I can be patient.” I don’t think there’s a more perfect answer that she could give me and I know my smile makes it clear her words mean everything to me, but in case there’s some doubt there…

“I’m all in, Cam. I want you here, I want you with me and I want you here with the boys. You…you’re every damn thing that I didn’t realize my life was missing.” I press my lips to hers, not even able to fight the smile on my damn face, not even while I kiss her. I’ve literally just told this woman I want a relationship with her while I’m still buried inside her, yet it fits. This amazing woman is now, for better or worse, a part of the chaos in my life and I couldn’t be fucking happier.

It’s been three weeks since the day Sarah showed up on my doorstep…three weeks of me and Cam sleeping in the same bed…three weeks of spending the evenings with the boys and the nights tangles up in my sheets. She spends the days watching the boys and they spend a few hours a day with Mary, who seems pretty damn happy about mine and Cam’s relationship.

I know it’s still early yet, but I honestly can’t imagine my life without her in it. On top of her already unbelievable commitment to me and the boys, she took on handling the accounting for the contractor company I work for. It turns out that she got a glowing letter of recommendation from her job in the city that had my boss practically begging her to take the damn job.

With her working from home, caring for the boys and already planning for the upcoming start of the school year, things have been more chaotic than usual, but she makes the chaos seem better…easier to handle. Hell, the woman already bought school clothes and supplies for Holden and Cody, even though she did refuse to let me pay for a damn thing.

“We’re a team, Cole. I wanted to do this for them, so I did it. Like I told you, I want you, but I want those boys too. If we’re doing this, you need to let me help and you can’t panic every time I do.” Yeah, there was honestly no arguing with her, though that was hard to do anyways after I saw how excited both the boys were over everything she got them.

Everything’s seemed so damn perfect, which is why it didn’t really surprise me when I came home to find Cam at the dining table with a stack of papers in front of her and a frown on her beautiful face. I knew the other shoe would drop eventually…I just hadn’t thought it would be in the form of a court summons. I had honestly stopped thinking about Sarah, but here she is, not so subtly barreling into our lives like a fucking battering ram.

“Baby, what’s that?” It isn’t until she looks up at me that I see the tears in her eyes which have me closing the distance and pulling her into my arms at near inhuman speed.

“She’s…she’s dragging us to court…requesting shared custody.” She chokes the words out between sobs and I just pull her tighter against me, praying like hell she can’t feel the rage building inside me right now. She needs comfort, not anger…she needs love and, no matter how I look at it, that’s what I give her…what she gives me. We haven’t said it yet, but it’s there. It’s present in every smile, every laugh, every damn thoughtful little detail of how we care for each other.

“You said your friend’s husband might be able to help, right?” I had been resistant at first, trying to pretend we could handle this on our own if Sarah pulled some shit, but I’m not risking my boys on hope or luck. No, if we’re doing this, we’re going in like a category five hurricane and we’re going to tear that bitch apart.

“Yeah, I can call him. Cole…we can’t lose the boys. Our boys need us, not some woman who walked away from them without looking back.” Dear god, the way she says our boys, it hits me so damn hard that my breath catches and my heart stutters in my chest.

“Alright, let’s call him and get this moving, yeah?” So we do. The call with her friend lasts two hours, continuing even after the Joey and Cody wake from their naps, but Holden helps keep them occupied in the living room so we can focus on getting everything put together. We send her friend’s husband, Matt, everything from doctor’s reports, school reports, receipts for groceries, clothes, medication, every bank statement from the day Sarah left, the copies of the divorce decree, the custody paperwork…we send him everything.

“Alright, guys, I’m going to go through all this and start putting the case together. The case will be presented before the judge in two weeks, so I’ll have this done and emailed to you by this time next week. I need you to review everything and let me know if anything is missing within twenty-four hours of when you receive it. I’ll get there the day before the hearing and we’ll go over everything in person and make sure you’re prepared. If she reaches out to you in anyway, document it. Any questions?” He’s very direct and I appreciate it since I don’t need the frilly legal bullshit, just the facts.

“No, I think we’re good. We appreciate you doing this for us.” Cam’s voice is steady for the first time since I got home and it definitely eases some of the tension in my muscles.

“Anytime, Cami. Trish is using this as an excuse for one of us to check on you, so everyone wins. Aright, I’m going to get to work on this, but call if anything changes and I’ll call you if I need anything else.” We say our goodbyes and once she ends the call, we sit for a few minutes in silence, just letting it all sink in.

I hadn’t even noticed the smell of dinner cooking until she’s already up and moving into the kitchen, but the weight of everything has even affected the boys, leave us eating dinner in near silence. We push through their bedtime routine damn near on autopilot and go to bed, holding each other so damn tight that you wouldn’t be able to tell where her body ends and mine begins.

We have three days till we go to court and stand before a judge while my ex tries proving she isn’t a worthless piece of shit. Things have been tense, but we’ve managed, though fuck if I know how. I’ve been busting my ass today, redoing some DIY job our client tried to pull off with nothing more than hope and a damn internet video. I’m hot, I’m tired and I’m completely fucking drained…which is why I feel my patience completely snap the second I walk through the door to Holden and Cody arguing while Cam tries, but fails to get them to stop. I’m not mad at them, not really, but this is just more than I can handle after the last few weeks.

“Knock it the hell off! I just walked through the damn door and you two are already at each other’s throats!” I don’t often raise my voice at them, so it’s no surprise when they’re looking at me with tear filled eyes and looks of fucking shock on their faces. I know I need to calm down, just step outside and let this shit settle before I fuck everything up…but then Cam walks up, worry and some emotion I’m too damn angry to identify etched all over her beautiful face.

“Hey, woah, let’s calm down, okay? It’s okay, babe. It’s just an argument. Why don’t you go take a shower and give yourself a minute to breathe.” It’s a fair suggestion, but my anger is already burning through me and she unknowingly stepped in its path. I don’t want to lash out at her, I never would, but the words start pouring out of me like a damn flood of rage.

“I don’t need to fucking breathe! I need to be able to come home and not face shit from the kids I’m fighting my ass off to keep! I don’t need you trying to smooth things over, Cam, it’s not your fucking job! You can’t just magically fucking fix everything! Hell, you can’t even keep the kids from lashing out at each other while I’m not here!” I want to choke back every fucking word, swallow that shit down, but it’s too late. The look of devastation is immediate, just like the tears filling her eyes. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she fucking flinches like I raised my hand to her as she takes a step back…away from me.

“You’re right. I can’t fix anything. I’m sorry I overstepped. Boys, dinner is in the crockpot. I’ll get ahold of Janet and see if she can be here in the morning.” She grabs her phone off the couch and slips past me without a word or even a glance in my damn direction, but I can’t even fucking blame her.

Holden and Cody disappear upstairs, leaving me with Joey in the living room and both of them refusing to even come down to eat while I’m left hating myself for fucking up the one thing that made this shitty world a little brighter.

Chapter 12

Cole

It’s the day of the hearing and after spending yesterday with Matt, going over everything three times, I’m finding myself nervous as hell and I still don’t feel ready for this shit. I haven’t seen Cam since she stormed out of my house and I’ve been too much of a damn coward to go over to Mary’s to apologize. Thankfully, Janet was able to watch the boys the last few days, but I have a feeling she was actually enjoying having time to herself without bearing my responsibilities for me while I work myself to the bone.

The hearing is informal, just two lawyers presenting their cases and a judge reaching a decision I wasn’t at all prepared for. Sarah gets two visitation days a week, three hours per visit, on a trial period of thirty days, visitations that are to take place in my home until we return for the thirty day review.

The boys, mainly Holden, aren’t happy, but I’m not fucking happy either. She’s been gone for just over two years, but the judge grants her access to their lives like she has a damn right…like she has somehow earned the right. The only person I want to reach out to, that I want to comfort me, is the one person I’m too fucking afraid to call and I hate it.

It’s the first day of visitation for Sarah and I swear, I wanted to choke the hell out of her before she even walked in the door. She’s been sitting on the floor with Joey for almost an hour while Holden and Cody sit on the couch, staring at the woman who abandoned them without an ounce of guilt. Neither of them are willing to speak with her and anytime she tries to talk to them, Holden just glares until she backs off.

I’m watching the time tick by, counting down the minutes to the three hour mark when I can get her out of my damn house, but then I hear a knock on the door. Holden moves like lightning, yanking the door open before the person can knock again, but it’s what he shouts that has my heart both stopping and beating faster all at once.

“Cam! I’ve missed you!” I don’t even have to look to know they’re hugging the hell out of each other…but I look anyway…needing to see it…to have this moment to ground myself. Hell, maybe I just need to torture myself, but I can’t blame anyone but my damn self for this mess.

“I’ve missed you too, bubs, so damn much.” Her face is buried in his hair and I see the tear slip down her cheek when she raises her head.

“Are you coming to eat dinner with us?!” My damn heart clenches at the thought, but I know that’s not why she’s here, even if I wish like hell that it was.

“No, bubs. I just need to pick up something I left over here.” Holden takes her hand and leads her inside, but Sarah hones in on her like a fucking heat seeking missile and I see the shock and anger on Cam’s face the second she sees her.

“Oh, I see Cole still keeps you around. Sweetie, it’s a little desperate and pathetic to be hanging all over a man that’s so much older than you and…playing house with my boys…that shit’s over. Get whatever you came here for and leave.” I open my mouth to make Sarah stop, but Cam’s voice has the words dying in my damn throat.

“Don’t worry, I’m just picking up something I left here and then I’ll be gone, but…for the record…I was never playing house. These boys, they deserve a better person in their lives than you and, hell, they deserve a better person than me too. I hope you take this second chance seriously because I think that even you know that it’s a chance you never fucking deserved. Holden, I love you boys, so damn much. I need you to be good and I need you to be strong for Cody and Joey.” She kisses his forehead then hurries into the dining room only to emerge a few seconds later with her laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She gives Holden one last hug and Cody quickly jumps off the couch then rushes over to her, his little arms wrapping around her legs as tight as he can.

“I don’t want you to go, Cam.” Holden’s broken voice wrecks me, but not as bad as the rivers of tears on his face.

“I know, bubs. I don’t want to go either, but I have to. I love you all so much. I’ll always love you boys.” She gives them one last squeeze, kisses them both on the head and then she’s gone.

“I hate you! You made Cam leave! You ruin everything!” With that painfully accurate statement, Holden runs upstairs and slams his bedroom door behind him.

“Well, that was unnecessary. When the hell did he become so dramatic?” I turn my sharp, angry glare on Sarah and it takes everything in me not to let everything go…to unleash the two years of rage I’ve bottled up because I didn’t have time to deal with it. Instead, I stomp my ass into the dining room to get the hell away from her.

We barely survived the thirty day trial period and are now sitting in front of the same judge as he further rips my world apart. He’s extending her time, giving her six hour visitations within my home four days a week and we were told to set up a schedule for when school starts in a week. I’m no longer required to be there to supervise, but like hell if he thinks I’ll leave her alone with them when I don’t have to.

I still haven’t talked to Cam, but I think about her every damn day. I’ve seen her twice in the last two weeks, once as she was leaving Mary’s and once when she was just getting home, but she looks different…paler, a little thinner and completely fucking destroyed.

It’s Saturday, one of the designated visitation days, and of course, I get called into work, some bullshit emergency with a guy damn near falling through his own living room floor. Janet is out of town and I, obviously, can’t call Cam…which is why I do the one thing I never wanted to do…I ask Sarah to watch the boys.

I regret it before I even walk out the door, but try to justify it by telling myself it’s only for two hours max, just long enough to get things stabilized and an estimate drafted. Even someone as useless and incompetent as Sarah should be able to keep my sons alive and well for two fucking hours…right?

I make it home just under the two hour mark and I can’t get inside fast enough. The house is quiet with Joey passed out on the floor and Cody sitting in the spot on the couch that was once Cam’s, but Holden isn’t down here, not that I’m surprised. Cody tolerates Sarah, but won’t interact with her, Joey still seems unsure of her, but Holden…he hasn’t said one fucking word to her this whole time.

“Where’s Holden and have the kids had lunch yet?” Should be simple, basic questions with easy answers, but the way she sighs, you’d think I just asked her to recite the damn Greek alphabet backwards.

“I figured you could feed them when you got home and Holden is probably still upstairs throwing a damn tantrum like he has been from the start of this. You’ve turned him into some weak, coddled brat.” I swear, if she just disappeared tomorrow and never came back, I’d be happy as hell. Shit, I’d throw a damn party!

“I told you they needed lunch before I left! They were supposed to eat at noon…that was almost two hours ago!” I know there’s no point in yelling because she isn’t listening, but it doesn’t stop me.

“Then you should stop complaining and feed them! My time’s up anyway. I’m leaving and I’ll be back Wednesday.” I bite the inside of my cheek so damn hard that it bleeds, but I don’t say a single word as she grabs her shit and leaves. Once the door closes, I go over to where Cody’s sitting and scoop him into my arms, holding him tight.

“You okay, buddy? Was Sarah nice to you?” He shakes his head and buries his little face into my neck.

“No. She yelled. She told me no talking. She said sit down and shut up.” I swear, if I wasn’t holding him right now, I would chase her ass down and rain hell down on her worthless ass.

“Okay, buddy, I’m so sorry, but I’m not going to let her be around you again unless I’m home, okay? Let’s go check on Holden and then we can see about getting you boys fed.” He just nods against my neck as I’m already making my way upstairs. I reach Holden’s door and knock, but there’s not a damn sound coming from the other side. I open the door, knowing he’s probably going to be pissed since he’s barely been willing to speak to me since Cam left, but his room is empty…aside from a piece of paper on his bed. I grab the paper and feel my heart hit the damn floor as I read the messy words written on the page.

Dad,

I don’t want to live here anymore. I don’t want Sarah here. I want Cam back. I want us to be happy again.

Holden

I rush down the stairs and set Cody back on the couch as I fish out my phone and dial Cam’s number only to have it go to voicemail after ringing four times. I try again while I set up the stroller and get the boys strapped in, but she still doesn’t answer. I get the stroller down the front steps and rush over to Mary’s, manhandling the damn stroller up the four steps then knock on the door a lot harder than is likely necessary. It takes a second before the door opens and Mary is standing in front of me, her expression making it clear that I’m failing at hiding my panic.

“Cole?” Mary’s worry is clear in her tone, but I don’t hesitate to dive into my questions.

“Have you seen Holden? Is he here?” Her brow furrows and she shakes her head, but my attention gets pulled to the goddess coming down the stairs.

“Cam, sweetheart, have you seen Holden?” Mary’s voice has a slight tremor, but the look of sheer panic on Cam’s face gives her answer before she ever speaks it.

“No, not since I saw him and Cody outside a few days ago.” I hold out the note to her and she quickly rushes to grab it. The second she reads the words on the page, she’s slipping on a pair of flip flops then grabs her phone and keys from the table by the couch.

“Grams, I’m going to go look for him. I’ll call and check in if I find anything. Call me if he comes back.” She slips out the door and damn near jogs to her car, climbs in and is gone before I can even process what the hell’s happening.

“Leave the little ones with me and go find our boy. I’ll make them some snacks and we’ll be fine.” Mary’s tone is stern, but still dripping with concern as she takes the stroller and guides it into her house. As soon as the door clicks closed behind her, I’m making my way to my truck, praying like hell that we find my son.

Chapter 13

Camille

I’ve been driving for an hour, checking every damn place I can think of where Holden might go and growing more panicked by the second. Not a damn day has passed where I haven’t thought about them…all four of them. I’ve wanted to see them, to just talk to them, but I never thought that the next time I saw them would be like this.

While part of me knows that everything Cole said the day I walked out was probably a result of the stress and a long, hard day at work, the other part of me, the part Dalton destroyed, believes he meant every damn word of it.

I’ve already got tears streaming down my face when I spot a familiar form sitting on a bench near the river about two miles away from our street and I don’t hesitate to pull over. I climb out of my car and run to him, the sound of my feet hitting the ground making him turn and his soft blue eyes meet mine with tear stains that match my own and it breaks my damn heart.

“Holden!” I barely get his name out before he’s moving, running right at me and into my open arms. We hold each other so damn tight, both of us trembling with sobs.

“I’m sorry, Cam! I’m sorry! I swear I won’t fight with Cody anymore! I’ll be good, I promise! Just…please come back, Cam! Please! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you leave!” Every damn word…every unnecessary apology is like a knife to my heart. None of this was his fault, but he’s been holding the blame, letting it rot and fester within him this whole time. God, we’ve failed him, so damn badly!

“Hush, bubs, none of that. This isn’t your fault. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you and so damn sorry I walked away. I promise you I love you and I only did what I thought was best, but I hurt you and I’m so sorry for that. This is my fault, bubs, one hundred percent my fault. You didn’t do this to us, Holden. This is my fault.” I hear a car door slam closed and feet hammering into the ground, but I don’t let go. I need to hold him, to hold onto this moment before it inevitably slips away.

“Holden! Thank god! Are you alright? Are you hurt?” As much as I don’t want to, I let go and take a step back, letting Cole see for himself that Holden’s okay.

“I’m sorry, dad! Please don’t be mad at Cam anymore! It’s not her fault! I’ll be good! I won’t fight with Cody and I’ll be good now! I just want Cam back!” And now Cole is there, whispering the same words I did, telling him it’s not his fault, that he did nothing wrong. He glances at me, his arms still holding Holden tightly to him as he mouths the words ‘thank you’ while tears stream down his cheeks. I force a smile that I damn well know he won’t buy and nod my head.

“I’m sorry, bud. None of this, not a damn bit of it, is your fault. I got mad and I said a lot of mean things that I wish I didn’t say and I hurt a lot of feelings. I’m the one who screwed up, not you, not your brothers, not Cam…me. You have every damn right to hate me, Holden…every damn right. I’m sorry, buddy, so damn sorry.” Holden is shaking his head before Cole even gets the last words out while I’m standing here, one arm wrapped around my waist and one hand covering my mouth to muffle the sobs I’m desperately trying to choke back.

“I don’t want to run away, dad. I don’t hate you, I swear I don’t! I want to go home, dad, I want to go home.” I turn and head back to my car, walking away from them while leaving my heart in pieces at their feet and pulling out my phone on the way. I text grams to let her know we found him then text Matt to let him know what happened since I know Holden ran away while Sarah was meant to be watching the boys.

As soon as I reach my car, I climb in and close the door, but I can’t bring myself to start it, not when a fresh wave of tears is already falling and my heart feels like it’s stuck between shattering and mending, all the jagged pieces struggling to fall into place while slowly bleeding me dry in the process…then there’s a knock on my window before the door’s pulled open.

“Cam…can we talk? Please?” God, I’ve both dreamed of and had nightmares of this moment. Sometimes he’d declare his love and apologize, other times he’d twist the knife, digging it deeper until my heart just…stops beating.

“Cole…I…you should get him home. I should get home.” I can’t even look at him because I know…in my bones, I know…that if he says he meant those awful, painful words…there will be no putting myself back together. I won’t look at him…can’t look at him…because then I might see the truth and I sure the hell don’t want to let him see me break.

“Please, Cam. You don’t have to say anything, just…just listen. I said the worst shit to you…I hurt you…I hurt our boys. I was wrong…so fucking wrong. I was stressed and I had a shit day, but none of that was your fault…or theirs. I was scared, I was angry and I was holding onto all that stress so I didn’t pile it on you, but then I fucked everything up.

“I took it all out on you and you didn’t deserve that…you didn’t deserve any of it. All you’ve ever done is take care of us and be there when we needed you, sometimes even when we didn’t realize that we needed you. I’ve wanted to apologize a thousand times, but I was a fucking coward and I thought you wouldn’t be willing to give me another chance…god knows I don’t deserve one, but I have to try…for me…for them…for us.

“I spent two years being so damn angry at the world, barely surviving from one day to the next, but then I saw you, sitting on the ground and taking care of our boy…and you changed everything, Cam…you changed me. You rewrote every line of my damn life and weaved yourself into our story so damn seamlessly. I fought it so fucking hard, but you just walked in and knocked down every damn wall I had built and I knew I didn’t stand a chance, Cam.

“I don’t want to go another day without you, baby. I love you, the boys love you and we need you…we need the light you bring into our lives.” I finally open my eyes and let my head turn toward him…finding him kneeling on the hard, gravel covered asphalt like he doesn’t even feel it biting into his knees through the denim that covers them…like this declaration was worth enduring the pain.

“I…I’m scared, Cole.” Yes, it’s a vague statement, but it’s heavy and true. I know he can read the weight of it, that he can feel the unspoken meaning. I’m afraid of losing this, afraid of losing them, afraid he’ll change his mind…afraid to trust that this isn’t another thing the universe will pull out from under me the very minute I finally feel steady on my feet again.

“I know, baby, and it’s my damn fault you’re scared, but if you can find it in that big, beautiful heart of yours to give me a second chance, I’ll show you that this is real…that we’re real. I love you, Cam. I love you so fucking much that I’ve felt like I’ve been dying everyday we’ve been apart. Please, baby, please…I’ll beg if you want…I’ll do anything you want me to, just name it. I miss you, the boys miss you and our whole damn world has been shit without you.” I take a deep, trembling breath, letting his word wash over me…letting them sink into my marrow and feeling some of the fractures in my heart mend.

“Okay…and…Cole? I love you too…all four of you…so fucking much.” He practically lunges at me, barely missing hitting his head on the roof of my car as his right hand gently grabs my neck and his left grabs my waist while his lips…those amazing lips…they’re on mine and reaffirming every damn word…every syllable. When his lips leave mine, I’m breathless, a complete wreck in the best way.

“Let me take you home. I have a lot of shit to make up for, but first, I think the boys would like to have dinner with their favorite person and then…then we’ll talk. Okay?” I nod my head, a small, involuntary smile curling my lips.

“Yeah, Let’s go home.”

Epilogue

Epilogue – Cole

It’s been two years since I met Cam and life couldn’t be better. As I look back, I can’t help smiling at how much things have changed, at how much she changed us. It’s crazy to think that for two years after Sarah left, I saw myself struggle through life, barely holding everything together, but two years with Cam have flown by with her teaching me that I don’t have to do it all alone. For the first time ever, I have a partner, a real one that isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, or to face the hard shit head on.

After the incident with Holden running away, Matt helped us file an emergency halt to Sarah’s visitations. At the hearing the following week, the judge spoke privately with Holden and Cody, asking them questions about their time with their mother and he seemed genuinely disgusted when he came back to the court room. All visitation privileges for her were revoked and, just to dig the knife a little deeper, he nailed her with a court order for her to pay child support which comes with back child support for the two years she was absent from the boys’ lives.

Holden, who’s always struggled in school, is getting all A’s and B’s with Cam’s help and Cody is in first grade this year, but is ahead of every damn kid in his class…more proof of Cam’s hard work. Joey will be five in a few months and that kid is smart as hell. He can write, knows his alphabet, can count and do basic addition and subtraction…and he can read! Our boys are thriving and I owe it all to the most amazing woman…my woman.

As for me and Cam, we’re great…better than great actually. She moved in with me and the boys only a month after we reconciled, but she was already spending every damn night with us anyway. I proposed a few months back, nothing fancy, just a ring and a dinner that I cooked for us while the boys stayed the night with Mary. She said yes…well…she said ‘Holy shit, are you serious? Yes! Yes! Yes!’.

I learned a lot about Cam in the first few months we lived together, things I should’ve taken time to learn in the beginning. I found out she can’t have kids, a result of a medical condition that landed her with a partial hysterectomy at the age of nineteen. Another little detail, something that honestly had me floored, was how much money is sitting in her damn bank account.

We were working on our budget and I kept trying to cut back anything that wasn’t necessary, but she just kept laughing and shaking her head at me. Turns out her divorce from that prick left her with a little over eight hundred thousand plus a third of the shares in his company. Add to that all the money she made from the job she had while she was married and she has a damn big chunk of change just sitting there.

The minute she dumped that little gem on me, she started talking about setting up college funds for the boys and making repairs to the house, acting like having that kind of money is just a normal fucking thing. I guess, for her, it actually is, but for me…it was a hell of a lot to wrap my head around.

We’re not perfect…we argue, we disagree, we have bad days, but we always fix that shit before we go to bed. She’s not just an amazing partner, but she’s an amazing mother to my boys, something I never thought they’d get the chance to have. She sacrifices for them, she supports them, she encourages them and she fucking stays.

Who the hell thought that someone like me, the grumpy asshole next door, would find a woman who not only had the ability to turn my life around, but who’ genuinely want to? At the end of the day, I’ve got my kids, I’ve got my woman and, because of them, I’ve got something worth holding onto and I won’t be letting them go. This life, this beautiful, messy, chaotic and unexpected life is more than I deserve, but I couldn’t be more grateful that this beautiful disaster is mine.