Summary

LIfe is a marathon, we must run the full length. The fourth of a series of five poetry on different topics. This fourth one is life, death, aging, introversion, being different , philosophy.

Chapter 1

In search of a hidden reality

I turn to images of my dreams.

I see a golden lining.

The light of Wisdom beams,

But my eyes are misled

By the appearance and the form.

There’s a cloud that shields the meanings

Of the mind’s creativity storm.

2 The Days Between

Into this World we are born

Ignorant of all saved our own existence.

We grow. We learn.

We see truths through only our perceptions.

If we are lucky, we live to know

That everything we believe-

All the knowledge we once held true

In fact is falsehood and wrong.

We know less than nothing.

From this world, death takes us

Ignorant of all except our own destiny.

3 Questions

In different guises

In different shapes

From different angles

In different ways

We ask.

Is there a God?

Was there evolution?

Have I a purpose?

What is for certain?

Seekers want assurance

The faithful wants insurance.

I just want to let sleeping does lie

Since I won’t have the answers

Until I die.

4 Introvert

The company of others is sometimes

A weight on the limb of a flying bird.

Bird used to flying free, alone,

With thought private and

A book for company

Around others?

Heart burst in the midst.

Heart soar in the middle.

Heart sings as I think alone.

The company of others!

Feel my heart freeze

I cannot breathe.

This is not true always,

But often enough

5 Ignorance

Ignorance

Sheltered

Cocoon

Darkness

Safe

Blindness

The price paid

Decisively unknowing

6 Fifty Something

It is a lonely time-

The age of regret.

I wish I could reset

To an earlier time

Even if I made the same mistakes.

Perhaps, it would be different,

I would have a different swagger.

Own my sexuality more.

Be both more brave and more cautious.

Not care how others judge me,

Judge other people less,

Take a different path,

Not necessarily a better one.

It would be kind of fun

Just to see where I end up.

7 In my dreams

In my dreams

I am never old.

I am always young.

I do not dream of the future

Or the current time

Or even of the past.

My dreams are alternate universe

Of me in my youth

Doing things I never done;

Making different choices.

In my dreams

There is never you.

8 California

Oh, California!

Land of my birth.

I cannot look long enough

Feel the air or breathe deep enough

To assure that I can dream of you;

Hear the waves break on shore,

See the lone palm tree against a desert mountain vista,

Feel the air of a hot October night.

Midnight in shorts and shirt sleeves.

I want to live you in my sleep

As I experience you now.

First time back in two decades

Home! Whatever home means sans family,

Oh, California,

Land of my birth !

Golden state land of dreams,

Dreams of illusion in Hollywood

Convertibles, oranges and youth!

I and my sisters turned our back on you;

Left land of dreams and each other.

Reality is easier to live away from a state of illusion

Where harsher realities stay hidden.

I have deliberately, consciously stayed away from

California, land of my birth.

Oh, California

Land of my birth!

Home! Whatever home means sans family,

You welcome me now,

Embrace me in comfort and familiarity

I am relaxed, carefree, soaking in your beauty.

I was never so welcomed when home meant family.

I am home in the land of my birth.

Home is beautiful, can be now, sans family.

Hidden family secrets, challenging exchanges,

Things ignored or focused on too fully

Situations to deal with or not to deal with

Stress, always stress!

On, beautiful California,

Sans family, I can be home now

Oh California,

Land of my birth!

One last look at the shore,

A desert trip pic to post!

I think I will see you again!

Tearily, I board a plan

I will see you before two decades.

I will return to my home,

Home sans family,

I will see you, at least, in my dreams.

Land of my birth

Oh California!

9 Teach Your daughters

Teach your daughters

To speak in confident voices

To keep their eyes raised

To smile when they feel it

To accept compliments

To stare down unwanted gazes

To be strong

To support each other

To be better sisters

We will be better women

We will need to be.

Teach your daughters well

10 The other

I am a woman who rides the bus in a city where people use cars

As prestige, status and transportation.

I am a woman who walks in a city where people use cares

to get to where they will walk on trails, paths, open spaces,

But not a half a block to a restaurant.

I am a woman who rides the bus

So I am judged- you can’t afford?

Afford what?

Wasting half a hour looking for parking?

High blood pressure waiting in traffic?

Risk of the drunk behind the wheel?

Destroying the planet I live on?

Must be because I cannot afford a car.

I am a woman who rides the bus who is freshly showered.

Who wears a newer dress with manicured nails

Pulling out my IPad for the ride and not talking to myself

So I am judged-you can afford?

Drivers and riders judging alike.

I am the other. I am a woman who rides the bus.

11 Falling off of walls

Trying without succeeding

Always feeling defeated

Hard work, gut bleeding

Patterns being repeated.

I know how to fall

Like Humpty off of walls.

12 Intrusions of makind

I site alone tonight, feeling low,

Time, not a friend, is moving slow.

The night surrounds, but can’t carress

It emphasizes what I miss.

A night spent waiting for the day

Will light show things in a different way?

Won’t change the memories or the reoccurrence

Still daytime activity might feel like a reassurance.

I hide myself from all the world

Within the confines of my mind

And yet find I cannot escape

Still the intrusion of Mankind.

Oh, in a life there does fall some shade,

But these are the times for which introversion is made

A time to recover, to gather strength

Life is a marathon, we must run the full length.

Life has been on madness brink.

Delusion with a tequila chaser has been my drink.

Only the space of a night can reduce the rage.

Daylight arrives – now I must smile on life’s stage.

I hide myself from all the world

Within the confines of my mind

Still, I find there is no escape

From the unwelcome intrusions of mankind.