Chapter 11

Calvin moved methodically through the camp, his mind focused on the task at hand. He was helping Elijah, Reverend Whitaker, and Daisy tend to the sick. The heat was oppressive, and the sickness was spreading, but they worked tirelessly, determined to care for everyone as best they could.

He glanced over at Reverend Whitaker, who was kneeling beside one of the sick, offering a quiet prayer. The reverend’s calm demeanor was a steadying presence in the midst of the chaos. Calvin appreciated his unwavering faith and the comfort it brought to those in need.

Daisy was brewing tea, along with Mary Anna, her hands steady despite the urgency of their situation. She moved with practiced efficiency, and her years of experience were evident in every motion. Elijah was gathering more herbs, his keen eye ensuring they had all they needed.

Calvin took a deep breath and joined Daisy, helping her carry the tea to the sick. The scent of the herbs filled the air, a reminder of their efforts to combat the illness. They worked in silence, each focused on their part of the task.

The reverend moved from person to person, praying with everyone individually. His words were gentle and reassuring. Calvin watched as the reverend knelt beside a mother cradling her sick child, his voice barely a whisper as he prayed for healing and strength.

Calvin’s heart ached with empathy for the suffering around him. He had joined the train to protect Linda, but he also felt a deep sense of responsibility for everyone in the camp. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing any of them.

As the afternoon wore on, Calvin continued to help in any way he could. The camp was a flurry of activity, but there was also a sense of unity. They were all in this together, supporting each other.

Later that evening, everything was unusually quiet, the day’s efforts having taken their toll on everyone. They had done everything possible, and he knew they would continue to fight this sickness with every resource. Calvin knew they would have a long night doing more of the same.

“Lord, Remember us in this time of need.” He found himself offering a silent prayer of his own. “We ask for Your strength and guidance.” It had been a long time since he had prayed, but maybe it was time to get back to his faith.

The thought brought a smile to his lips as he recalled the many times Charlotte had pressed him and their sons to have faith. The three of them had pretended to be reluctant, anticipating the loving way she scolded them. There was always a light in her eyes that had told them she knew of their subterfuge.

His heart ached as he wondered if his sons had also become estranged from the Lord because of him. Had he been a good father in that regard? It wasn’t too late though and he would redeem himself as soon as he got back home.

Calvin was exhausted, bone tired. He decided to sit for a moment, maybe close his eyes. The heat had settled in his bones, draining him to the point where they ached. No matter how much water he drank, his thirst didn’t seem quenchable.

As he sat alone, a strange heaviness settled over him. He didn’t feel right. Looking at the four he had worked with, they seemed as hale as ever, yet he felt a bit off. Maybe he was more tired than they were.

Calvin rubbed at his forehead, a dull ache pulsing behind his eyes. His throat felt dry and scratchy. Trying to lift his canteen to take a drink seemed too laborious. He was just so tired. Linda’s voice cut through the silence, and before he knew it, she was by his side, her gaze filled with concern.

“Calvin, are you alright?” she asked, her voice soft but firm.

He tried to muster a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, just tired,” he replied, waving her concern away.

Linda wasn’t convinced. She reached out, her cool hand pressing against his forehead. The touch was soothing, and he found himself leaning into it, but her expression quickly turned serious. “Calvin, you have a fever,” she said, her tone and alarm leaving no room for argument. “You need to rest.”

He tried to brush it off, standing up too quickly. “It’s nothing, really. I just need some water—”

Suddenly, the world spun around him. He swayed his vision blurring. Linda’s strong grip caught him just in time, steadying him as his legs threatened to give out.

“Whoa, easy there,” she murmured, guiding him gently. “You’re not going anywhere like this.”

“Linda, I can manage—” he started to protest, but his voice was weak, and the dizziness was overwhelming.

“Stop being so stubborn,” she cut him off, her grip firm yet gentle. “You need to lie down.”

He let her help him over to his bed, every step feeling heavier than the last. She eased him down onto the blankets, and he looked up at her, a mix of frustration and gratitude in his eyes. “Thanks,” he muttered reluctantly.

Linda shook her head, sitting beside him. “You need to take care of yourself, Calvin. You’ve been running yourself ragged.”

Calvin sighed, closing his eyes as the dizziness threatened to overwhelm him again. “I just want to make sure everyone else is alright.”

“I know,” Linda said softly, placing a damp cloth on his forehead. “But you can’t help anyone if you collapse. Let me take care of you for a change.”

He nodded weakly, too tired to argue. As Linda tended to him, he felt a sense of peace wash over him, her presence soothing to his frayed nerves. For the first time in days, he allowed himself to relax, trusting Linda to look after him.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes, then opened them to find himself trapped in a feverish haze, his mind a whirl of chaotic memories and fragments of reality. Strange images flickered before his eyes, blending past and present, creating a confusing tapestry of memories and nightmares. He saw Charlotte’s face, then Linda’s, the two merging and separating in a dizzying dance.

You were both made for my arms.” he told them.

“What?” Linda asked.

Calvin tried to answer but his lips were too dry. He looked at Charlotte and he saw that she understood. His heart ached to see her lovely face, so golden and still just as youthful as she had been when he had lost her. Had it really been eight years? It still seemed just like yesterday that he had held her in his arms.

“Charlotte, I miss you so much,” he told her and she gave him that smile he knew so much and held close.

His body burned with fever, every muscle aching. In the rare moments of lucidity, he became acutely aware of Linda’s presence. Her voice, gentle and soothing, pierced through the fog. She was talking to him, her words a salve to his tortured mind.

“Calvin, you need to drink this,” she whispered, pressing a cool cup to his lips. The liquid was bitter, but he managed to swallow, knowing it was meant to help.

He drifted back into the fever’s grasp, the dreams growing more intense. He saw himself on the wagon trail, danger lurking at every turn. But through it all, Linda was there, her touch grounding him, her voice a constant anchor.

“You’re going to be alright,” she murmured, her touch cool against his skin. “Just hold on a little longer.”

In another moment of clarity, Calvin felt her adjusting the blankets, making sure he was comfortable. Her care and concern were palpable, even in his delirious state. He wanted to thank her, to tell her how much her presence meant to him, but the words were lost in the fever. Would her ever rid himself of it enough to thank her?

***

As the night wore on, Linda watched over Calvin with mounting concern. His fever hadn’t broken, and she could see the toll it was taking on his body. She nursed him as best as she could, wiping his brow with a cool cloth and whispering soothing words that she hoped would reach him through the fevered haze.

At one point, in the dim light of the campfire, Calvin stirred. His eyes fluttered open, unfocused and glassy. He reached out, his hand trembling as it found its way to her face. He touched her cheek gently, his fingers cool against her skin. “You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled, his voice soft and slurred.

Linda’s heart skipped a beat. Did he mean it? Did he truly think she was beautiful, or was it just the fever talking? She wanted to believe it was genuine, that in his vulnerable state, he was speaking from the heart. But she ultimately put it down to the fever, telling herself that he was delirious and didn’t know what he was saying.

Still, the words lingered in her mind, a small ember of warmth amidst the worry. Shaking her head, she decided to let go of it and continued to tend to him, her touch gentle and caring.

What did it matter anyway? Calvin was a friend who was helping her make a difficult journey. He would be going back to Bayside once he trip was over. And he had called out to his dead wife, told her he missed her. Just as Linda missed Frank. So there was nothing more to think about. No matter what, though, she wouldn’t leave his side. They had come this far together, and she was determined to see him through this.

By morning, she was exhausted, yet she couldn’t leave his side. As exasperating as she sometimes found him, she knew if the roles were reversed, he would not leave hers. Just as the first light of dawn began to creep into the camp, Daisy approached Linda with a small tray.

Daisy Green was Elijah’s wife, and even though she was less than a decade older than Linda, she mothered her. She should have been offended, but something about the gently competent woman eased those around her. Daisy was a stunning woman, the kind one would expect to find in a drawing room and never out here on the frontier. She had exquisite manners, so at odd with being the wife of a wagon train master.

Linda wondered at her story but thought it would be rude to ask. She looked up at the other woman, at the serene brown eyes and intricately braided honey-brown hair, and felt a little frumpy.

“Here, Linda,” Daisy said gently, offering a plate with some bread and cheese. “You need to eat something.”

Linda took the plate gratefully, her stomach growling in response. “Thank you, Daisy.”

Daisy glanced over at Calvin, his fever still unbroken. “How’s he doing?” she asked, concern etched on her face.

“He’s still burning up,” Linda replied, her voice laced with worry. “But I’m hoping he’ll turn the corner soon.”

Daisy nodded, her expression somber. “The rest of the sick folks seem to be over the worst of it, but they’re too weak to travel. We’ll stay put for now and let everyone regain their strength.”

Linda sighed in relief, grateful for the decision. “That’s good to hear. We need to make sure everyone’s strong enough before we move on.”

As Daisy moved to check on the others, Linda remained by Calvin’s side, her hand resting gently on his forehead. The camp was quiet, the oppressive heat giving way to a tentative breeze. The few people moving about did so sluggishly, but most still slept.

Lord, please see Calvin through this illness. You alone are our healer. She prayed silently for Calvin’s fever to break, for his strength to return, and for the journey ahead.

Linda gently wiped the sweat from Calvin’s brow, her own eyes heavy with fatigue. His fever had shown no signs of breaking, and his delirious mumbling about Charlotte only added to her worry. She whispered soothing words, hoping to calm his restless spirit, but inside, she felt a growing sense of helplessness.

As the sun reached its zenith, Reverend Whitaker approached. His presence brought comfort to Linda, who was grateful for any support in this trying time. He sat beside her, his expression one of quiet concern.

“Reverend,” Linda began, her voice trembling, “I’m so worried about Calvin. He’s been so distant from God lately. What if… what if he doesn’t make it? What will happen to his soul?”

Reverend Whitaker listened intently to Linda’s concerns, his expression thoughtful. After a moment, he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and then spoke gently. “Linda, God’s grace is boundless. Even in his distance, Calvin is not beyond His reach. We must have faith and continue to pray for his recovery and his return to the Lord.

“In my experience, a tragic event can either draw someone closer to God or push them away. But remember, just because someone distances themselves from God does not mean He is not with them. Remember, His word says, ‘All things work for the good of those who believe.’ God is always watching over us, even in our darkest times. He is with Calvin now, guiding him through this trial.”

Linda looked at the reverend, her eyes filled with a mix of hope and fear. “Do you really believe that, Reverend? That God is with him, even now?”

The faithful man nodded firmly. “I do, Linda. God’s love and grace are boundless. Calvin may be struggling, but he is not alone. We must continue to pray and have faith that he will find his way back, both in health and in spirit.”

Linda took a deep breath, feeling a small measure of comfort in the reverend’s words. “Thank you, Reverend. Your words mean a lot. I will keep praying and hoping for his recovery.”

Reverend Whitaker smiled warmly. “You are a strong woman, Linda. Your faith and care are a beacon of light in this difficult time. Remember, you are not alone either. We are all here for you and for Calvin. But most of all, our Father, God, is with you.”

She nodded her head, tears clogging her throat so that she couldn’t speak. As much as she knew God loved her, it was nice to hear someone else say it to her.

“Would you like to pray with me?” the reverend asked.

“Yes,”

Taking her hand in his, he closed his eyes, and Linda followed suit. “Heavenly Father, we come to thank you for the truth of Your words. Words that promise healing and grace from You. We come to petition You for the healing of your son, whom You love more than we could ever understand. In doing so, we are reminded of Your word that says, ‘Ask, and you shall receive.’”

As they continued to pray together, Linda felt a renewed sense of determination. She would hold on to her faith and trust that God was with them, guiding them through this challenging journey.

“You need rest.” the kind reverend said after they were done. His concerned eyes took in her tiredness.

Linda nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “I know, but I can’t leave him. Everyone else is either recovering, sleeping, busy, or exhausted. But I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m so tired, Reverend.”

The reverend’s eyes softened with empathy. “You are doing everything you can, Linda. Your strength and care are a testament to your faith and loving nature.”

Reverend Whitaker offered a few more comforting words before leaving to attend to other matters in the camp. Linda watched him go, feeling a bit more at peace.

Her eyes roved over the camp, noting the bustling yet somber atmosphere, a mix of activity and quiet reflection. The wagons seemed to dot the landscape, their canvas flaps fluttering gently in the breeze. The ground was a patchwork of cracks and dirt, worn down by the constant movement of people and animals.

Campfires crackled here and there, casting a warm, flickering light that danced on the faces of those gathered around them. The smell of wood smoke mingled with the earthy scent of the surrounding plains, creating a comforting aroma. Despite the recent sickness, there was a sense of community and resilience among the camp’s inhabitants.

Children’s laughter occasionally broke through the more subdued, tired conversations of the adults, a reminder of the innocence and hope that still existed. Despite having been sick mere hours ago, they had already rallied. Men and women moved with slowed purpose, tending to chores, caring for the still weak, and preparing meals. The clinking of pots and pans, the murmur of voices, and the occasional neigh of a horse created a symphony life.

As the day progressed, the camp took on a more tranquil atmosphere. Shadows lengthened, and the sky turned a beautiful and clear shade of blue, dotted with brilliantly white puffy clouds. The air grew cooler, and the sounds of the camp quieted.

A short while later, Sarah approached, her face lined with worry. Linda, noticing her friend’s troubled expression, asked gently, “How is Tommy doing?”

Sarah sighed, her eyes downcast. “Josh is sitting with him now. He’s been a great help.”

Linda could sense there was more than worry for Tommy on Sarah’s mind. She reached out and touched her friend’s arm. “Sarah, what’s troubling you?”

Sarah hesitated, then took a deep breath. “Josh… he’s been showing interest in me. He’s kind and attentive, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to move on. I don’t know if it’s right.”

Linda nodded, understanding the conflict in Sarah’s heart. “It’s natural to feel uncertain, Sarah. You’ve been through so much. It’s important to give yourself time to heal and to listen to your heart. If Joshua is truly interested, he will understand and respect your need for time.”

Sarah looked at Linda, her eyes filled with gratitude. “Thank you, Linda. That makes sense. I just don’t want to rush into anything and make a mistake. I have Tommy to think about.”

Linda smiled softly. “Take it one day at a time, Sarah. Trust in yourself and in God’s plan for you. You’ll know when the time is right.”

Linda’s heart troubled her. It was easy to say such words to Sarah but would she be able to do the same if Cal…, no she wouldn’t think about that. He was a friend helping her on her journey. If not for him she would have used money she didn’t have hiring a wagon. Whatever she was feeling had to be gratitude. Nothing like the feelings she could see on Sarah’s face when she looked at Josh.

The two women shared a moment of quiet understanding, drawing strength from each other’s presence. In the lull that followed, Linda found herself dosing on and off, her worry for Calvin making it hard to truly sleep. Sarah stayed with her, and it comforted Linda. But looking at the still-sick Calvin, she wondered what she would do if he did indeed die. She might have been upset with him for coming along, but now she could not imagine doing this without him.

Chapter 12

Calvin sat beneath the sprawling branches of the solitary tree, its leaves whispering softly in the dry breeze. The sun mercilessly bore down on him, but he welcomed the warmth over the chill that had settled deep in his bones after his attack of fever. For three days, they had been camped here on this barren plain, and though the air was still, the tension crackling around him felt anything but.

Elijah, the wagon trail master, paced restlessly nearby, his silhouette stark against the endless expanse of the dusty earth. Calvin could see the worry etched into his weathered face, the way he clenched and unclenched his fists as if the very act of doing so might conjure the strength they needed to keep moving.

“Calvin,” Elijah called, his voice holding a combination of urgency and frustration. “We can’t linger here much longer. We need to move.”

Calvin felt a pang of guilt. He had survived the worst of the fever, but his body still felt like it was made of lead. The thought of driving the oxen and pulling the heavy wagon over the rutted trail sent a wave of dizziness crashing over him. “I know, Elijah,” he managed, his throat dry as dust. “But I’m not ready.”

Elijah’s brow furrowed. “If we don’t leave soon, we risk losing more time. And time is something we can’t afford out here.”

The truth of that statement gnawed at Calvin. They were already behind schedule, their provisions dwindling with each passing day. But he also knew that pushing himself too hard could mean disaster for everyone. He looked up at Elijah, searching for understanding in his eyes. “You know I want to help. But I can’t drive the oxen in this state.”

Elijah sighed, the weight of leadership clearly pressing heavily on his shoulders. “We can’t move on without your wagon, Calvin.”

Calvin shifted, trying to find a comfortable position against the rough bark of the tree. “What if we rest just for today? Let me regain some strength?”

“I can’t promise we’ll be safe here much longer,” Elijah warned, his tone softening slightly. “But I’ll give you another day. Just know that every moment we wait is a risk.”

Linda stepped forward, firmness of purpose sparking in her eyes. “I’ll drive the wagon, Elijah.” she offered.

Calvin’s heart sank at her suggestion. “No, Linda. That’s too dangerous. You don’t have the experience.” The thought of her at the reins sent a wave of panic through him. The trail was treacherous, and the oxen could be unpredictable, especially with the stress of travel in the heat weighing on them all.

“I can handle it,” she insisted, her voice steady despite the uncertainty that hung in the air. “I’ve watched you enough to know what to do.”

It was infuriating how stubborn she was. Couldn’t she understand that this wasn’t the time to try driving the cattle? If he was feeling well and could step in at a moment’s notice, it would be another thing. As it was, he could barely muster the effort to move, let alone trust he would have the presence of mind to take over handling the cattle in a pinch.

Before he could respond, Mary Anna approached, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I could teach you the basics, Linda. Just the essentials to get you started.”

Calvin shot a glance at Mary Anna, his frustration bubbling over. Why did this woman seem to always want to expose Linda to danger? It didn’t take a genius to realize that Linda had lived a somewhat sheltered life. Mary Anna should understand that Linda needed to learn things at a slower pace and not be thrust into dangerous situations.

“Look at you, sticking your nose into things that don’t concern you again. This isn’t a game.” He didn’t care if he sounded petty; he was too worn out to muster anything else.

But Mary Anna only shrugged, ignoring his peeved rejoinder, her gaze unwavering as she met his. “Someone needs to drive the wagon. We can’t afford to wait around for you to feel better, Calvin. You know that.”

He bit back a retort, feeling the heat of irritation rise within him. But he also recognized the truth in her words. The longer they stayed put, the more precarious their situation became. He glanced at Linda, who was watching him, her resolve clear.

Calvin sighed, the fight draining from him. “Fine. But if you’re going to do this, you have to promise to be careful. The last thing we need is an accident.”

‘Lord,’ he found himself praying silently. He had been doing that more and more on the trip. Whatever came of it, he was glad to be healing from his resentment of the Lord for taking Charlotte too soon. ‘Help me trust in the capabilities You gave her and give her the strength she will need.’

Linda’s face brightened, and she nodded vigorously. Calvin felt terrible for doubting her in the face of such joy but the feeling still persisted. “I will, I promise.” she turned her brilliant smile to Mary Anna. “Just show me what to do.”

Elijah nodded approvingly, though his eyes still held concern. “Let’s get started then. Mary Anna, show her the ropes.”

As everyone gathered around the wagons, Calvin leaned back against the tree, feeling a combination of frustration and helplessness. The decision weighed heavily on him, but he knew he had little choice now. All he could do was hope Linda—and Mary Anna—would navigate the necessary lessons safely.

He watched as Elijah turned back to the camp, his shoulders tense, watchful eyes taking in everything. The quiet of the dry plain felt oppressive, the stillness a reminder of their precarious situation. He closed his eyes, feeling the pulse of the land around him—despite everything, he was still here.

The ride was a jarring affair from the moment they set off. The wagon creaked and groaned with every lurch over the uneven ground, rattling against the iron underneath as it bounced along the rutted trail. Dust swirled around them, settling into every crevice, coating their skin and clinging to their clothes.

The oxen plodded steadily, their hooves thudding against the dry earth, but the road was far from forgiving. Every dip and rise sent the wagon jolting, and jars of supplies clinked together as if protesting the rough treatment. Calvin clutched the edge of the seat, feeling his stomach churn with each bump, his body protesting the relentless shaking.

Linda, gripping the reins with purpose, tried to keep a steady hand, but the oxen sometimes pulled to the side or hesitated at the sight of a wild animal or rustling bush. They hadn’t done that before. The wagon swayed dangerously, threatening to tip as Linda navigated the rocky patches. Calvin watched her focus, her brows furrowing as she called out gentle commands to the animals, trying to keep them in line.

At one point, a particularly deep rut caught them off guard, and the wagon lurched violently. Calvin braced himself, his heart racing as he thought of the supplies shifting dangerously in the back. He shot a worried glance at Linda, but she held on, determination etched on her face as she righted the wagon with a quick pull of the reins.

As the day wore on, the dry air mixing with the vibrations of the ride created a suffocating atmosphere. But through it all, Linda kept her spirits up, laughing at the absurdity of the bumps, making light of their discomfort.

When they finally rolled into their night camp, it felt like a small victory. The weariness of the journey was etched into their bones, but there was a sense of accomplishment in the air. Calvin couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride for Linda, even as the ride had tested them all, leaving its mark on sore muscles and dusty clothes.

He felt a flicker of admiration as he watched Linda guide the wagon into their night camp. She had been more resilient than he had thought she would be. She hopped down from the seat with an exuberance that was infectious, her cheeks flushed with pride. “Did you see that? I actually drove it!” Her laughter rang out, bright and clear, cutting through the fatigue that hung heavy in the air.

Calvin stayed silent, leaning against the wagon. He wanted to say something, to acknowledge her success, but the thought of encouraging her to take risks held him back. She seemed so radiant, that newfound confidence giving her a glow that made her more beautiful than he’d ever noticed before. But the warmth in his chest was tempered by a nagging worry—her excitement might lead her into trouble.

As she began to help set up camp, her hands moving deftly as she arranged the supplies, he couldn’t help but admire her spirit. It reminded him of the determination he had once felt before the fever had dulled his senses and robbed him of strength. He watched her as she laughed with Mary Anna, the two of them chatting animatedly about the day’s journey.

Well, Linda was animated, Mary Anna held her usual calm competence as she indulged Linda’s enthusiasm.

But with each chuckle, Calvin’s anxiety swelled. Just don’t get too confident, he thought, wishing he could voice the warning, but he didn’t want to erase the pleasure and accomplishment on her face. He knew the road ahead was unpredictable, and while today had gone well, it only took one misstep for everything to change.

Instead, he busied himself with the fire, the crackling flames echoing the turmoil in his mind. He felt the heat against his skin, a stark contrast to the coolness creeping into the evening air. Linda approached, her eyes sparkling, and he could sense her anticipation.

“Calvin, I did it!” she said, her excitement palpable.

He nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah, you did.”

The smile she returned was radiant and pure. “I was afraid I would slow us down but I didn’t!” she exulted.

“No, you didn’t.” he agreed quietly as his throat dried at the thought that she would now want to drive the wagon more often. He didn’t think his heart would be able to take that.

“It’s like driving a buggy, but more challenging.” she continued in the same vein, a wide smile still on her face.

“ Just remember to stay careful.” he cautioned. “The trail doesn’t always show as much mercy as it did today.”

She looked momentarily deflated but quickly masked it with another bright smile. “I will. But it feels good, you know? To be part of it all.”

Calvin swallowed hard, wishing he could feel that same excitement. “Just take it one day at a time.”

The fire crackled, and the stars began to appear, one by one, in the vast sky above them. He wanted to say more, to encourage her dreams and ambitions, but the fear of what could happen kept him quiet. He could only hope that her newfound confidence wouldn’t lead her down a path that brought more danger than joy.

Chapter 13

Linda gazed out at the rising sun, painting the sky in soft pastels. It had been weeks on the trail, and each passing day felt like a small victory. Under Mary Anna’s patient guidance, she had grown in ways she never thought possible. Each skill learned had chipped away at the insecurities that had once weighed her down like a heavy cloak.

Just a few weeks ago, the thought of driving the wagon had filled her with dread. Now, she felt the reassuring grip of the reins in her hands, the rhythm of the oxen’s movement grounding her. She remembered the first time she had taken the lead, her heart racing with fear and excitement, and how Mary Anna had cheered her on. “You’ve got this, Linda!” she’d called out, and those words had ignited something within her.

The thrill of shooting a gun had been another revelation. At first, the thought of handling such a weapon terrified her. But with practice, she had learned to steady her aim and focus, the weight of the gun feeling more natural with each pull of the trigger. She could still hear the satisfying crack of the shot echoing in her mind, a sound that now filled her with pride rather than fear. She had even gotten used to the kick that came from the gun after she fired.

And the fire—she could make one without hesitation now. It was almost second nature, gathering the right kindling and coaxing the flames to life. The flickering glow brought warmth to their evenings, and she reveled in the knowledge that she was contributing, that she could provide for her companions in this harsh environment.

Her knowledge of herbs had expanded, too. Mary Anna had taught her which plants could soothe a fever or ease a cough, how to identify those that could heal and those that could harm. Each discovery felt like a step away from her past failures, a reminder that she was becoming someone worthwhile.

“Since you’re going to be settling out West on your own, you’ll need to know how to do all these things.” Mary Anna told her at one point.

She frowned at the other woman. “My brother will be with me.”

Mary Anna’s face became serious. “He can’t be with you always Linda and out there women are scarce. Your brother will be hard pressed to keep a woman as beautiful as you are safe from all of them. You might want to consider taking another husband.”

Her heart sank at that. She was still mourning Frank, wasn’t she? So how could she think of being another man’s wife? Calvin’s face came to mind, he was strong enough to protect a woman, but no, he would be going back to Bayside this time next year. Maybe he could help her establish herself.

In the mean time, she was learning to defend herself. If Mary Anna could survive on the frontier as a single woman, Linda could do the same.

As she sat by the fire, surrounded by the camaraderie of her companions, Linda felt a swell of confidence rise within her. The insecurities that had shadowed her for so long were beginning to fade, replaced by a sense of purpose. She was learning to be strong, to embrace the challenges of the trail rather than shy away from them.

It proved that God had been the one to give her that dream. He was leading her past the valley she had been in. ‘Thank you my God.’ she prayed in gratitude.

“Hey, Linda!” Mary Anna called, snapping her from her thoughts. “Come help me with the morning meal!”

Linda jumped up, a smile spreading across her face. “Coming!”

As she moved toward the cooking area, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was finally finding her place—not just on the trail, but in the world. She was becoming the woman she had always wanted to be, and for the first time in a long while, that realization filled her with joy.

After breakfast, with the morning sun peeking through the trees, casting dappled light across the camp, Linda gathered her things. She was adjusting the straps of her leather satchel when Mary Anna approached, her expression bright and inviting.

“Hey, Linda!” Mary Anna called out, a playful smile on her usually inscrutably calm face. “Since we’re resting the animals for the day, I was thinking about heading out for a little hunting expedition today. Want to join me?”

Linda’s heart leaped at the invitation. “Really? I’d love to!” The thought of venturing into the woods, bow in hand, was thrilling. Mary Anna had said it was better to hunt with arrows as that reduced the risk of chasing away most of their prey. Linda was eager to practice her skills, and Mary Anna was the perfect mentor.

“Great! We’ll make a day of it,” Mary Anna replied, her enthusiasm infectious. “We can scout for some game and maybe even set a few snares for rabbits.”

As they chatted about their plans, Sarah wandered over, her brow furrowed in thought. “What are you two up to?” she asked, her curiosity piqued.

“We’re going hunting!” Linda replied, a spark of excitement in her voice.

Sarah hesitated, biting her lip. “I… I could use a break. I’d like to come too if that’s okay.”

“Of course!” Mary Anna said warmly. “The more, the merrier. It’ll be good for all of us to get out of camp for a while.”

Linda noticed the slight tension in Sarah’s posture, a hint of uncertainty lurking beneath her willingness to join. “Are you sure, Sarah?” Linda asked gently. “I know things have been heavy for you lately.”

Sarah nodded, her gaze flickering between them. “I just need to clear my head. A little fresh air might help.”

“Then it’s settled!” Mary Anna clapped her hands together, her energy lifting the mood. “Let’s gather what we need and hit the trail.”

As they prepared to leave, Linda felt a rush of excitement with a hint of apprehension. The thought of hunting alongside Mary Anna and Sarah felt like a step toward something new, something hopeful. The three of them set out, laughter echoing in the crisp morning air as they ventured into the woods, each carrying their own burdens but united in their quest for freedom and clarity.

The sun hung low, the air invigorating and filling them with possibility. Linda thought the unexpected addition of Sarah gave the outing a new energy. Sarah had seemed more reserved lately, so hearing her say she needed to clear her head sparked Linda’s curiosity.

As they trekked through the trees, the sound of their shoes crunching on fallen leaves was almost comforting. Linda adjusted the weight of her bow, her senses heightened, and she was eager to spot a deer or a rabbit. Mary Anna walked ahead, her experience guiding the group, while Sarah fell in step beside Linda, her brow furrowed in thought.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” Sarah began, breaking the silence. “About Josh.”

Linda’s heart raced, intrigued. “Josh? What do you mean?”

Sarah hesitated, her voice barely above a whisper. “I think I have feelings for him. But I don’t know… it feels complicated.”

Mary Anna slowed, glancing back at Sarah. “How long has your husband been gone?” She asked in her straightforward way.

There was a long pause, one that sparked of guilt, before Sarah finally confessed, “Almost three years now.”

The weight of her words hung in the air. Linda felt a pang of empathy for her friend. Three years was a long time to carry the burden of loss. Frank had only been gone for a year, and she still felt raw at times when she thought of him. From their talks before, Linda knew Sarah felt some of the same emotions over the death of her husband.

“That’s a significant amount of time, and you’re allowed to love again if that’s what you want,” Linda said gently. “Have you talked to Josh about how you feel?”

“No,” Sarah admitted, her voice cracking. “I’m scared. What if I’m just trying to fill the void? I don’t want to betray my husband’s memory.”

Those words caused Linda’s heart to jump inside her chest. Her hand trembled and the heat of the day seemed more intense all of a sudden.

Mary Anna nodded, her expression thoughtful. “You should follow your heart, Sarah. It’s been a long time. You deserve happiness, too.”

Linda listened closely, but as the conversation continued, her thoughts drifted inward. She admired Sarah’s courage, yet the idea of moving on felt impossible to her. She couldn’t shake the image of Frank from her mind—the warmth of his smile, the sound of his laughter. Losing him had left a chasm in her heart, one that felt insurmountable.

“I don’t know if I could love or marry again,” Linda finally said, her voice barely a whisper. “After losing Frank, it feels like… like there’s no one else who could fill that space.”

Mary Anna turned to her, empathy in her eyes. “It’s natural to feel that way, Linda. But remember, moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. It just means allowing yourself to feel joy again, to open your heart.”

Linda took a deep breath, processing Mary Anna’s words. She had spent so much time focusing on her grief that the thought of letting anyone in felt foreign. What if she could never love again? The fear of losing the one she loved again mingled with the longing for connection, and it left her feeling tangled.

“Let’s keep moving,” Mary Anna suggested, breaking the heavy silence. “We’re here to hunt, after all.”

As they ventured deeper into the woods, Linda’s mind buzzed with conflicting emotions. She felt for Sarah, and the leap she was contemplating, but the path to her own heart remained shrouded in uncertainty. With each step, she pondered the lessons being on the trail had taught her—resilience, courage, and the delicate balance of moving forward while honoring the past.

She sighed and decided to leave all those thoughts for later. After all, as Mary Anna had said, they were here to hunt.

The forest was alive with the hum of early morning. A soft breeze stirring the canopy, rustling the leaves in a language Linda couldn’t quite translate, but one that settled a quiet excitement in her chest. Above her, birds—too many to count—chattered and flitted between the trees, their calls sharp and erratic, adding layers to the deep, resonant quiet beneath them. The air was rich with the scent of damp earth and decaying leaves, a thick, mossy odor that clung to the skin and drifted up from the ground with each step.

Linda’s boots sank softly into the spongy ground, the wet earth giving way beneath her weight, each movement cushioned by the leaves and pine needles that carpeted the forest floor. Beneath her, she could feel the pulse of the land—cool, damp, and ancient. It was a living thing, breathing, waiting.

She was aware of the others— Sarah to her right, Mary Anna a few paces ahead—but all the while, her attention remained on the sounds of the hunt. The quiet whisper of their breath, the shifting of their weight on the earth, and then—twang. A sharp, sudden note sliced through the stillness as Linda drew her bow. The string vibrated with a crisp snap, the sound ringing clear against the murmuring forest.

A few heartbeats passed, each one stretching with the tension that followed the release of the arrow. For a moment, there was only silence, save for the faint rustling of leaves and the rhythmic breath of the hunters. The forest seemed to hold its breath, too.

Then, the quiet was broken by the distant crash of a startled deer breaking through the underbrush, the sharp staccato of hooves thundering on the earth. But Linda didn’t need to move—she was already poised, her senses sharp, attuned to every shift in the air and every sound that came from the forest around them.

She shot a doe.

Linda adjusted the heavy weight of her hunting bow over her shoulder as they returned to the camp later that afternoon. Mary Anna and Sarah walked beside her, animatedly recounting the morning’s hunt, their laughter breaking the tension that hung in the air.

As they entered the clearing, the familiar scent of wood smoke and cooking meat filled her lungs, but it was Calvin’s piercing gaze that made her heart sink. He stood near the fire, arms crossed, his frown deepening as he watched her approach.

“Another risky outing, I see,” he said, his tone sharp enough to cut through the cheerful chatter of the others.

Linda felt her cheeks flush, anger and frustration boiling inside her. “We brought back food, Calvin. Isn’t that what matters?”

He shook his head, his expression unyielding. “You could have gotten hurt. Or worse.”

She stepped closer, feeling the distance between them stretching like an unbridgeable chasm. “I’m not a child, Calvin. I can take care of myself,” she told him again, echoing what she had said before.

He softened for a moment, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “I know you can, but the trail is dangerous. I worry about you.”

“Worrying is different from underestimating me,” she shot back, feeling the heat of her emotions surge. “You don’t seem to see that I can handle myself out there.”

Mary Anna and Sarah exchanged glances, sensing the crackling friction. Linda couldn’t help but feel that Calvin’s protectiveness was suffocating her.

“Why can’t you just trust me?” she continued, her voice quieter now, tinged with hurt. “Every time I try to prove myself, you act like I’m just another burden to protect.”

Calvin’s brow furrowed, and for a moment, uncertainty flickered in his eyes. “It’s not like that. You’re not a burden, Linda. It’s about keeping you safe.”

Linda took a deep breath, willing herself to remain calm. “But at what cost? If you keep this up, you’ll drive me away, and then you’ll really have something to worry about.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the fire crackled loudly, filling the silence. She turned away, heart racing, feeling the weight of the unspoken words hanging between them.

Mary Anna touched her arm gently. “Let’s just eat and relax for now. We’ll talk later?”

Linda nodded, grateful for her friend’s intervention, but the knot in her stomach remained. She glanced back at Calvin, who had turned his attention to the fire, the tension between them still palpable. If things didn’t change, they’d only drift further apart. But maybe that would be for the best. If they went back to fighting, then there wouldn’t be any of the confusion he sometimes awakened within her.

Chapter 14

Calvin sat at the campfire, the warmth of the flames battling the morning chill. Breakfast, beans and hardtack, was laid out before him, but he hardly touched it. His mind was still reeling from the events of the previous day, and the tension in the air between him and Linda felt thick enough to cut with a knife.

Just as he was trying to shake off the unease, Josh rode into the clearing, dust swirling around him like a dark omen. His expression was grave, and Calvin’s heart sank as he straightened in his seat.

“Master Green!” Josh called urgency flooding his voice. “I spotted a group of men not far from here. They look like bandits.”

The news hit like a thunderclap. Panic rippled through the camp, faces turning pale as fear took hold. Calvin’s heart raced. As capable as he was, he had never faced bandits before in his life.

“Everyone, stay calm!” Elijah, as the wagon master, commanded, his voice steady amid the chaos. “We’ll handle this. They may just be travelers like us. We’ll ride out to meet them and see what they want.”

Calvin nodded, grateful for Elijah’s steady leadership, but the gnawing worry in his gut remained. He glanced around at the group—at their fear mingled with uncertainty. Mary Anna was the first to break the tense silence.

“I want to come with you, Elijah,” she said, determination in her voice. “I can help.”

Calvin opened his mouth to protest. Women had no business fighting bandits. But before he could speak, he saw Linda stepping forward, a fierce look in her eyes. “I want to go too.”

“No,” he said sharply, the word echoing louder than he had intended. “You can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

Linda’s expression hardened. “Calvin, you can’t just decide what I can or can’t do. This isn’t just your choice to make.”

“Danger is not a choice; it’s a fact!” he shot back, feeling his frustration boil over. “We don’t know who these men are or what they want. I won’t risk your safety for a chance to prove a point.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but Calvin pressed on, his voice firm. “I need to stay here, where it’s safe.”

The way he said that made her heart ache. How could she fight against such sincerity even if she felt restrained by it. As she looked into his eyes, she could see how much it took out of him to express that. But didn’t he understand that she also needed to make sure he was safe?

Mary Anna exchanged a glance with Linda, concern etched across her face. “Calvin, we should have everyone who can help—” Mary Anna started to say.

“Absolutely not!” he interrupted, his tone brokering no dissent. “If these men are indeed bandits, I can’t have Linda getting caught up in this. I need you here, with the others. If anything goes wrong, you’ll be our best chance at protection.”

Linda’s eyes flashed with anger, and he could see the hurt behind her defiance. “You’re underestimating me again, Calvin. I’m not some damsel to be kept away from danger.”

Elijah stepped in, his voice calming but firm. “Calvin’s right to be cautious, Linda. We need a clear head in the camp. You can help from here.”

“I don’t need protecting!” she snapped, her voice rising. “If I’m capable enough to hunt, then I’m capable enough to face whatever is out there!”

She had been hunting for less than a fortnight and was suffering from the arrogance people showed when they learned a new skill. Fighting bandits, he imagined, was something far different from hunting. A bandit could think and shoot back as they would also have years of experience.

“Not if it means risking everything!” he shot back instead, his own voice filled with the weight of desperation. He could feel the divide widening between them, a chasm of mistrust forming.

The camp buzzed with tension as Josh fidgeted nervously on his horse, clearly uncomfortable with the rising conflict. Calvin tried to rein in his anger, but all he could think about was how much he wanted to keep her safe—how much he feared losing her.

“Please, Linda,” he said, softer now, hoping to reach her through the frustration. “Just trust me on this.”

For a moment, silence hung in the air. Calvin could see the internal struggle in her eyes, the conflict between her desire for freedom and his need to protect her. But she finally crossed her arms, the defiance still present but tempered with hurt.

“Fine,” she said coldly, stepping back. “But don’t think this is over.”

As Josh, the other scouts, and Elijah made preparations, Calvin felt the weight of the situation settle heavily on his shoulders. He glanced at Linda one last time, wishing he could bridge the gap between them. He wanted only to protect her, but at what cost? The bandits were coming, and soon, they’d have to face the consequences of his choices.

As Calvin rode out with Elijah and the others, the tensity in the air was palpable. The bandits were just over the next rise, and he felt every heartbeat thrumming in his chest. He kept his eyes peeled for any signs of danger, but nothing could prepare him for the sight of the men as they crested the hill.

The bandits were a rough-looking bunch, with weathered faces etched with lines from years of hardship. Their clothes, sturdy and patched, spoke of a life lived on the edge, and their ropy muscles revealed a strength that was both intimidating and dangerous. As they rode closer, Calvin could feel the unyielding confidence radiating from them—a swagger that suggested they were accustomed to getting what they wanted.

“Stay close,” Elijah whispered to him and the other men, his instincts on high alert.

As they met in the open, the leader of the bandits—a tall man with a scar running down his cheek—fixed them with a calculating stare. “What do we have here?” he said, his voice gravelly and low. “A fine little camp of travelers.”

Elijah kept his posture steady, but Calvin noticed the tension in his shoulders. “We’re just passing through,” Elijah said firmly. “We don’t want any trouble.”

The bandit’s laughter was harsh, echoing off the surrounding hills. “You don’t want trouble? But trouble is what we’re aching for. We will trouble you to hand over your cattle and belongings.” He glanced around, eyes narrowing as they settled on Mary Anna. “And we’ll be taking your women too.”

Calvin felt a surge of anger rise within him. He wanted to leap forward to protect Mary Anna, but he knew he had to stay composed. “We’ll not be giving you anything,” he said, his voice steady. “You’re outnumbered, and I suggest you turn around while you still can.”

The bandit leader smirked, glancing back at his men, who exchanged knowing looks. “Outnumbered? You really think that matters?” He gestured, and the other men moved in closer, surrounding them. “This is your last chance. Hand over the cattle, your supplies, and your women. Or we’ll take what we want by force.”

Calvin’s heart raced, adrenaline flooding his veins. He could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on him. Mary Anna shifted slightly beside him, a mix of fear and defiance in her eyes. “We won’t be intimidated,” she declared, raising her chin high.

The bandit leader’s gaze narrowed, and he leaned forward, his expression shifting from amusement to anger. “Is that so? You think you’re brave standing there? It won’t matter once we decide to take what we want.”

Calvin clenched his fists around the reins, readying himself for what might come next. He couldn’t let them take Mary Anna—or any of the other women, for that matter. He exchanged a quick glance with Elijah, who was weighing their options.

“Listen,” Elijah said, voice steady but laced with a hard edge Calvin had never heard from him before. “We can negotiate here. There’s no need for violence.”

“Negotiate?” the bandit leader interrupted, a mocking smile creeping onto his face. “You don’t have the right to negotiate. We take what we want, and it seems like you folks have it all. We will take all of it off your hands.” He glanced at Mary Anna again, a predatory gleam in his eye. “And maybe a bit of fun along the way.”

Calvin felt a cold fire ignite in his chest. He couldn’t let this man think he could intimidate them. “If you think you can take her, you’ll have to get through me first,” he growled, determination hardening his resolve.

The bandit’s smirk faltered for a moment, surprise flickering in his eyes. “You think you’re a hero, don’t you? But you’re out of your league, my friend.”

Calvin met his gaze, unflinching. “And you’ll find us a harder target than you expect.”

The standoff stretched, the tension thick and electric, as both sides sized each other up. Calvin’s heart raced, knowing that one wrong move could set off a chain reaction. They needed a plan—fast—before this encounter escalated into something they couldn’t control.

“Enough!” Elijah’s voice rang out, cutting through the tension like a knife. “We won’t hand over anything. You’re not taking our cattle, our supplies, or our women. If you want a fight, then let’s get on with it.”

The bandit leader’s smile vanished, replaced by a fierce scowl. “You’re making a grave mistake, old man.”

Before Calvin could react, the air erupted with the sound of gunfire. Sulfur stunk the air and he dove off his horse, heart pounding. Bullets whizzed past, thudding into the ground and splintering wood. The sound too loud and yet he could hear the shouts and chaos all around him. The harsh sounds of men yelling, and the crack of rifles discharging.

He searched for cover, sweat stung his eyes as it dripped into them maybe because of the heat of the day or the tension of the fight. The horses screamed, adding to the confusion and he drew his weapon.

“Calvin, get down!” Elijah shouted, firing back at the bandits, his aim true. Josh crouched low, returning fire as best he could, but the sheer number of bandits put them at a disadvantage.

Even with their numbers’ disadvantage, the bandits had experience. Elijah’s men might have had more than Calvin, but they were still not at par with the hardened men who made their living out of killing others. The tang of copper soon joined the other scents, the sweat of horses and the burn of gunpowder.

Calvin’s mind raced, adrenaline surging through his veins. He ducked behind a tree, trying to get his bearings amidst the chaos. His eyes darted across the battlefield, assessing the situation. When he lifted his gun, it was only when he had a sure target in sight. He aimed to incapacitate, not to kill, his conscience unable to bear the weight of taking a life, even under these circumstances.

***

Linda’s heart pounded in her chest as she followed after Calvin and the others, the weight of their urgency pressing on her shoulders. She knew Calvin would be furious that she had come along, but her newfound sense of freedom and self-worth compelled her to act. As she moved, she thought of the story of Esther, the bravery and courage of a woman who faced impossible odds for the sake of her people. That story inspired her now, filling her with the determination to join the fight and stand her ground.

Drawing a deep breath, Linda steeled herself for whatever lay ahead. She wasn’t just another member of the group; she was an essential part of it. The fear of Calvin’s disapproval paled in comparison to the conviction that she could make a difference. Her fingers tightened around the handle of her rifle, its weight a comforting reminder of her own strength.

What she came upon was pandemonium, unlike anything she had imagined. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for what she was witnessing. Horses cried out in panic and defiance, churning dust beneath their feet. The acrid smell and taste of smoke from the guns burned her throat and nostrils.

Linda felt disorientated, and panic set in. Why had she thought she could be involved in a gunfight? Yet she didn’t stop herself from riding toward the fray. The last thing she wanted was to be the kind of person who balked at the slightest hurdle, so she rode on.

“Oh God,” she prayed. “Save us.

***

Suddenly, through the haze of smoke and chaos, Calvin caught sight of a figure riding into the clearing. His heart sank as recognition hit him. It was Linda.

“Get back!” he shouted, voice raw with horror. “What are you doing here?”

She rode in, rifle raised, determination etched on her face. “I heard the gunfire! I had to come—”

“Get out of here!” Calvin barked, anger and fear colliding in his chest. “It’s too dangerous!”

But Linda had already dismounted and already moving forward, her eyes scanning the scene, her posture resolute. “I can help! We can’t let them take everything!”

His fury surged, mixing with disbelief. “You’re putting yourself in danger! You shouldn’t have come!” He couldn’t believe she had defied him, that she was willing to risk everything when he’d specifically told her to stay back.

When had she become this stubborn? The woman he knew through his years as Frank’s friend had been more reasonable. Or had he just not paid that much attention to her?

Before he could say anything more, a bandit caught sight of her and shouted to his companions. “Look! There’s one of the women! Grab her!”

Calvin felt a cold wave of terror wash over him. “No!” He sprang from behind the tree, ready to protect her even if it meant being in the line of fire.

More gunfire erupted around them, and he saw Linda take aim, her face set with fierce determination. She fired, the shot echoing, before hitting one of the bandits squarely in the shoulder. The man fell back, cursing, but it only incited the others.

“Stay close to me!” Calvin yelled, rushing toward her, heart racing as he fought against the confusion of the shootout. He could feel the heat of the battle surrounding them, the air thick with gunpowder and fear.

“Get back!” she shouted to the bandits, her eyes fierce, but he could see the worry creeping in.

“Stay behind me! I won’t let them touch you!” He moved closer, positioning himself between her and the advancing bandits.

Elijah and the others continued firing, trying to hold the bandits at bay, but as they, too, didn’t seem to want to kill them, it wasn’t practical. Soon, the men would have to change tasks and shoot to kill. The bandits shouted, their crude laughter mingling with the chaos, pushing further into the fray.

“Calvin, I can’t just stand by and watch!” Linda insisted, anger flaring in her voice. “We have to fight together!”

He glanced at her, the determination in her eyes igniting a flame of respect, even amid his anger. “I know you can fight, but I can’t risk you. Not here, not now.”

“Then let’s take them down!” she insisted, her voice unwavering.

With a surge of resolve, he nodded. “Alright, but we do this together. No more recklessness.”

As they stood back to back, the heat of battle surrounding them, Calvin felt the bond between them solidifying. They were partners in this fight, and together, they would face whatever came next. The bandits would find them a harder target than they’d expected—especially with Linda at his side to protect.

Chapter 15

Fear, dread, and adrenaline coursed through Linda, both exhilarating and terrifying. She hadn’t expected anything like this—the rush, the confusion, the scent of blood and sweat filling the air. When she had learned how to shoot or had hunted with Mary Anna, none of these feelings were there. It was as if the world had turned upside down, every sense heightened to an almost unbearable degree.

She moved through the chaos, her heart pounding in her chest, her mind racing. The crack of gunfire echoed around her, mingling with shouts and cries. She was so overcome by it all that she didn’t realize when a bullet grazed her arm, the pain reduced to a distant, almost abstract sensation compared to the intensity of the moment.

Linda’s focus was singular: survive and protect those she cared about. The wound stung, but she pushed it aside, driven by a fierce determination. The story of Esther fueled her, a reminder that bravery wasn’t about the absence of fear but about standing strong in the face of it.

As the battle raged on, she remained beside Calvin. He glanced at her, eyes filled with concern, and she gave him a tight nod, signaling that she was okay. For now, they were united, fighting together against the threat that loomed over their camp. And despite the fear and chaos, Linda felt a strange sense of clarity and purpose.

The bandits finally broke, retreating on horseback, some helping their injured comrades. A wave of relief washed over them all as the immediate threat subsided. Linda, her chest heaving from exertion, felt a profound sense of gratitude that no one had been left dead behind.

Linda leaned against the side of her horse, her heart still racing from the gunfight. The air was still thick with the scent of gunpowder and dust, but relief washed over her as she watched the bandits retreat, some of them supporting their injured comrades. She couldn’t shake the image of bodies lying in the dirt her imagination provided; the thought made her stomach churn.

Bile rose within her, something the scent of blood added to. Linda found herself sweating and holding herself together by a thread. Was this how everyone felt after something like this? She looked at the men around her, seeing how all of them looked unaffected, acting the same as always. Had Calvin been right? Should she have stayed behind?

“Hey, you did great!” Mary Anna exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with adrenaline. “I mean, standing your ground like that? Brave, if you ask me!”

Linda managed a weak smile, but her gaze shifted to Calvin, who was glowering at her from the other side. His expression filled with as much anger as concern, and it sent a shiver down her spine. She could feel his disappointment like a heavy weight, despite the praise from Mary Anna.

“Brave?” he scoffed, stepping closer. “You could have gotten yourself killed, Linda. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking someone had to do something,” she shot back, her voice sharper than she intended. “They were coming right for us!” She might have been rethinking her reasoning, but she wasn’t going to let him belittle what she had accomplished.

Calvin ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “You could have put everyone at risk. It’s not just about you!”

Linda’s heart sank, a heavy feeling settling it. She hadn’t wanted to put anyone in danger; she had just acted on instinct. “I didn’t see any other choice,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “I couldn’t just stand by.”

Mary Anna’s smile faded, and she frowned at the tension. “Calvin, she did what she had to do. We’re all okay, right?”

But Calvin didn’t soften. “We were lucky this time, that’s all. Luck won’t protect you forever, Linda.” His words hung in the air like a storm cloud, overshadowing the moment of triumph.

Linda was consumed with anger and hurt, embarrassed. “I guess I’ll just have to keep proving myself,” she muttered under her breath, turning her back to him. She could still hear Mary Anna trying to defuse the situation, but all she wanted was a moment to catch her breath and shake off the weight of Calvin’s disappointment.

As the dust settled around them, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the real battle wasn’t over yet. As they made their way back to the camp, she ignored Calvin and his disapproval. She was done listening to his belittling opinions. From now on, she would ignore him.

Back at the camp, Mary Anna knelt beside Linda, her brow furrowed in concentration. “Hold still,” she instructed gently as she inspected the graze on Linda’s right bicep. The shock was still evident on Mary Anna’s face. “I can’t believe you were shot! We need to clean this up.”

As Mary Anna poured some alcohol onto a cloth, Linda braced herself. “It’s just a scratch,” she said, trying to downplay it, but she winced as the alcohol hit the wound. “Ouch!”

“Just a scratch that could have been a lot worse,” Mary Anna replied, her voice steady but firm. She began dabbing at the graze with careful hands. “You really need to be more careful, Linda.”

To distract herself from the sting of both the alcohol and the words, Linda let her gaze wander around the camp. The atmosphere was heavy; the fear still lingered among the women and children, who clung to one another. The men were on edge, exchanging wary glances as they kept watch, their hands resting on their weapons.

Her eyes landed on Sarah, who was crouched beside Josh, tending to his leg. He winced but smiled at her, a softness in his expression that made Linda’s heart lighten a bit. The bullet wound in Josh’s leg looked serious, but the way Sarah leaned in close, gently wrapping the bandage around him, spoke volumes. They seemed more connected than ever, and Linda couldn’t help but feel a sense of happiness for her friend.

“Look at them,” she said softly, gesturing toward Sarah and Josh. “They’re getting really close.”

Mary Anna followed her gaze, a smile creeping onto her face. “Yeah, they are. It’s nice to see something good come out of all this.”

Linda nodded, still a bit envious but mostly grateful that Sarah had someone to lean on during such a frightening time. As Mary Anna finished bandaging her graze, Linda felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. She needed to be strong, but the weight of the earlier encounter and the uncertainty of the future pressed down on her.

Would they encounter more bandits as they went on? She wondered.

“Thanks for helping me,” Linda said, her voice quieter now.

“Anytime,” Mary Anna replied, her tone warm and reassuring. “But let’s not make it a habit, okay?”

Linda chuckled softly despite herself. “Deal.” She took a deep breath, looking back at the camp and the people she cared about, reminding herself that together, they could face whatever came next.

Calvin strode into the camp, his expression the thunderous one she was getting tired of. “Linda!” he called, making his way over to where she sat with Mary Anna. His eyes narrowed as he took in the bandage on her arm. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just a graze,” Linda replied, trying to sound casual despite the sting. “I’ll be fine.”

Calvin crossed his arms, his jaw tightening. “You shouldn’t have been out there in the first place. You should have stayed behind like the other women.”

Linda felt a flash of anger rise within her. “And let the men handle everything? That’s not who I am, Calvin. Besides, Mary Anna went with the men too.”

“That’s different,” Calvin insisted, his voice rising slightly. “Mary Anna has experience with this kind of thing. She’s a frontier woman. She knows what to expect when facing bandits.”

Mary Anna’s brows shot up in surprise at Calvin’s sudden compliment, but she stayed silent, watching as yet another argument unfolded between the two of them. Linda couldn’t help but feel defensive. “So what, I’m just supposed to sit back and let others protect me? I can hold my own!”

“Sure, but at what cost?” Calvin shot back. “You got yourself hurt, Linda. You can’t just run into danger like that without thinking!”

Linda stood up, her voice rising. “I was thinking! I was thinking about everyone’s safety! If I hadn’t fired my shots, who knows what would have happened to all of you?”

“Or your presence could have made it worse!” Calvin argued, stepping closer. “What if the bandits had managed to get their hands on you? What if you—”

“What if, what if?” she interrupted, her heart racing. “That’s all you ever do, Calvin. You focus on what could go wrong instead of what needs to be done!”

Calvin shook his head, exasperated. “And you think charging in with a rifle is the answer? You’re not invincible, Linda!”

“Neither are you!” she shot back, her voice steady despite the rising anger she felt. “I’m not asking for your permission to fight for what I believe in. I thought you would respect that!”

His face softened slightly, but frustration still lingered in his eyes. “I do respect you, but I also care about you. It’s my job to look out for you.”

“Look out for me? Or control me?” Linda felt the anger bubbling up even more, and she couldn’t back down now. “You can’t treat me like I’m some fragile thing that needs protecting all the time.”

Mary Anna, seeing the escalating intensity of the argument, finally spoke up. “Alright, let’s just take a breath here,” she said, trying to diffuse the situation. “We’ve all been through a lot today.”

But Linda wasn’t ready to back down. “I can be brave without your approval, Calvin. I’m not just a woman hiding behind a wagon. I can fight, just like anyone else.”

Calvin sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I get that. I just don’t want anything to happen to you, Linda. I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

The heat in her chest cooled a little at his admission, but it didn’t erase the tension. “I understand, but I have to be true to myself. That means standing up and fighting when it matters.”

Calvin looked at her, conflicted. “You’re a woman, Linda. You might know how to hunt, but that is far from the same thing as fighting bandits.”

Even though she had come to that conclusion already, Linda met his gaze with anger swirling within her. “I won’t stop fighting, Calvin. Not now, not ever.”

The silence that followed was heavy, each of them glaring at the other. Linda knew they would need to find a way to meet in the middle if they were going to survive together in this unforgiving world. Unfortunately, she doubted Calvin was willing to compromise from his suffocating stance.

As she thought of the chaos that had been their fight with the bandits, she admitted to herself it hadn’t been one of her best ideas. Still, she couldn’t let him know that, otherwise he would have grounds to hold her back. Not that she intended to join in any other gunfights.

Chapter 16

“I never asked you to come with me or to be my protector, Calvin!” Linda shouted after the tension-filled silence. “I’m so sick of you trying to stop me from being part of this group! I’m just trying to do my part!”

Calvin stepped closer, his voice intense. “And I’m just trying to get you to Oregon alive! Your recklessness is going to get you killed! Do you think I want to be here arguing with you like this? And you’re already part of the group, as are the women who had the sense to stay behind.”

“Sense! You act like I’m some delicate flower,” Linda shot back, her voice rising. “I can handle myself! You don’t get to decide what I can and can’t do!”

The tension in the air grew thick, and Calvin could feel the weight of the camp’s silence pressing down on them. The chatter around the fire had stopped, and the frightened faces of women and children turned toward them, their eyes wide. Even the men had paused, watching the confrontation unfold.

Calvin’s expression shifted, frustration mingling with the anger burning through his veins.. “This isn’t about control, Linda. It’s about survival! You think I want to see you hurt? I care about you!”

“Caring doesn’t mean trying to dictate my every move!” she yelled back, much to his displeasure. “If you really cared, you’d trust me to make my own choices!”

“I can’t just sit back and watch you put yourself in danger!” Calvin replied, his voice echoing through the stillness of the camp. “What kind of person would I be?”

He watched as her anger flared, but beneath it, he could see a vulnerability she didn’t want to reveal. “You’re acting like I’m the only one taking risks! We’re all in this together! You’re not the only one who cares about everyone’s safety!”

Calvin took a step back, taken aback by her intensity. “So what? You think it’s okay to charge into danger just because you want to prove something? You think you have something to prove to me?”

Linda glared at him, her fists clenched. “This isn’t about you! It’s about my right to fight for what I believe in and to contribute to this journey. If you can’t see that, then maybe you’re the one who needs to rethink your role here!”

The silence in the camp stretched, everyone listening, tension crackling in the air. Finally, Calvin’s voice softened slightly, though it still held a sharp edge. “I’m trying to protect you, and you’re making it impossible.”

“Then maybe you should stop trying to control me,” Linda shot back, feeling a mixture of anger and hurt. “I’m not asking for your permission; I’m asking for your support!”

Calvin’s face reflected his struggle. He was caught between his instincts to protect and the reality of her fierce independence. “Support doesn’t mean letting you put yourself in harm’s way. It means being realistic!”

“And you think being realistic means keeping me sidelined?” she countered, her voice rising again. “That’s not how this works, Calvin! This is my life to live, and I won’t back down just because you’re scared!”

His jaw tightened, frustration mingling with something softer, a deep-rooted concern for her safety. “You think I’m scared?”

“Yes!” Linda exclaimed, her anger spilling over like an inferno escaping confinement. “You’re scared of losing control, but you’re pushing me away! You’re suffocating me!”

The air was electric, the tension palpable as the camp remained silent, all eyes on the two of them. Calvin’s expression darkened despite the flicker of understanding breaking through the frustration he felt. “I just don’t want to see you hurt,” he said for what felt like the thousandth time.

“And I’m sick of hearing that from you. I’m an adult and don’t want to be treated like I can’t handle myself,” Linda replied, her voice quieter now but still firm. “I’m strong, Calvin. I can be productive for this group without you trying to hold me back.”

Calvin felt the heat rising in his chest as Linda continued to confront him, not backing down. Each accusation cut deeper, and he struggled to find the right words. She was right in a sense—he had been trying to protect her, but it felt like she was slipping through his fingers, and the fear of losing her consumed him.

When she accused him of not seeing her as an equal, it stung. He had never meant to belittle her strength; he just couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her. “I can’t bear to lose you too!” he shouted, the words bursting forth before he could filter them, revealing the depths of his feelings that he had kept hidden.

The moment hung in the air, and he saw her frown, confusion replacing her fury. “What?” she asked, her expression shocked and disbelieving.

Calvin’s heart raced, and suddenly, impulsively, he stepped forward and kissed her. It was a reckless move, one born out of desperation and an overwhelming desire to show her how much she meant to him. The kiss was frantic, intense, and full of the fear he felt every day. But when he pulled away, he saw the shock in her eyes, the way her face paled, and it struck him that he might have just ruined everything.

“Calvin…” she stammered, still reeling from the kiss. He opened his mouth to explain, to apologize, but the weight of his own feelings blocked him.

And then, to his utter disbelief, she turned and fled.

“Linda!” he called after her, panic rising in his throat. But she didn’t look back. Instead, she ran toward the tree line, her figure quickly swallowed by the shadows.

Calvin stood there, feeling the air around him thicken with regret and fear. He hadn’t meant for it to come to this. His heart sank as he realized how badly he had miscalculated everything. The camp, once filled with the murmurs of his companions, now felt eerily silent, all eyes on him, filled with shock and curiosity.

He had crossed a line, and now he had to deal with the consequences. “What have I done?” he whispered to himself, the weight of his impulsive action pressing down like a stone. He wanted to chase after her, to explain, to make her understand that it was all driven by a fear he couldn’t articulate. But as he stood there, he felt more lost than ever.

Calvin took a shaky breath, the realization settling in that he had not only risked their friendship but had also laid bare feelings he hadn’t fully grasped himself. He could only hope that when she calmed down, she would understand. But deep down, a nagging fear remained—what if she didn’t? What if this was the end of everything they had shared?

Chapter 17

As Linda ran, the sound of her footsteps pounding along the dirt trail was all she could hear. Her pulse raced, confusion swirling within her. The kiss had been so sudden… so unbidden. She could still feel the heat of it, along with the pressure of his lips on hers, like a spark that had ignited something she didn’t want to face.

She stumbled through the underbrush, barely aware of where she was going, only knowing she needed to escape and be alone. Her breath came in quick, shallow gasps as the forest closed around her, the trees tall and oppressive, like silent witnesses to a moment, she wasn’t sure how to handle.

Why did he do that? The question echoed in her mind over and over. And yet, even as she tried to push it away, she recognized there was a part of her that was embarrassed, terrified, yes, but also… alive. She pressed a hand to her lips, trying to still the fluttering in her chest, but it was no use. The kiss lingered, more vivid than she wanted it to be, and the heat of it felt like it was still burning her skin.

But how could she face him now? The fight, the harsh words they’d hurled at each other—it all weighed on her shoulders, too heavy to carry alone. And then, suddenly, his lips were there, a forceful end to their battle—but not an answer to the questions she now had, questions she couldn’t ask.

Linda stopped in her tracks, her back against the rough bark of a tree, and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about it anymore, but it was there, gnawing at the edges of her thoughts. What was he thinking? And why had she—why had she let it happen?

Linda’s emotions became a whirlwind, tumbling over each other in a chaotic dance she couldn’t seem to untangle.

Confusion muddled her mind, like a thick fog denying any other thought except what had just happened. The kiss had come out of nowhere—so sudden, so unexpected—that it left her unsure how to even categorize it. Was it a moment of weakness on his part? An impulsive reaction? Or something more? Her mind kept replaying it, but each time, she felt like she was seeing it from a different angle, but the answers eluded her every time.

Anger, sharp and fiery, quickly swamped her as she realized he had taken liberties he shouldn’t have. How dare he?

The fight had been about so much—about frustration, unmet expectations, maybe even a little fear. He had no right to do that. No right to kiss her in the heat of a moment when words were still heavy between them. She had wanted to yell at him and assert herself, but then his lips were on hers, and everything blurred. She had let it happen, hadn’t she? And that only fed her frustration. She was angry with him, angry with herself, and angry with the whole situation.

Frank was the only man she had ever allowed such liberties. How could she have allowed it of Calvin? Was she a wanton woman? After all, some in Bayside had thought that of her when she pursued Frank. Could they have been right?

Now that he had kissed her, she couldn’t deny the attraction between them. It was like a flickering flame she couldn’t quite extinguish, no matter how much she wished it. Her heart had thudded against her ribs when his lips met hers, a strange, almost intoxicating pulse of warmth. Her body had responded before her mind could catch up, betraying her confusion with a lingering, unexpected thrill. She couldn’t deny it—it was there, lodged deep inside her, something she didn’t want to acknowledge but couldn’t quite erase.

“Oh, Frank!” she cried out loud. “How could I betray your memory so easily?”

Her throat felt scratchy with tears she wouldn’t let fall. After the spectacle Calvin had made of them, the last thing she needed was to add more to the fire of gossip no doubt circulating. How was she going to face the others?

At the thought, fear crept in—a quiet, insistent thing that gnawed at her. Fear of what this kiss might mean, how it could change everything between them, and how the others saw her. Everyone was aware they were unmarried. Would they now suspect them of being ungodly now that Calvin had kissed her?

“Why did he do something so foolish?” she asked, then looked up to see the peeking blue sky above her. “God, please help me. You know I’m a virtuous woman. Tell me what to do.”

Had their fights been because Linda had been denying the now obvious attraction she had for him? Did his kiss mean he felt the same way? She didn’t want to give in to the attraction, didn’t want to open herself up to another layer of complications in a world already full of them. She could feel the weight of the journey ahead—the hardships, the uncertainty, the distance—and the last thing she needed was this kind of emotional turbulence to derail her.

Vulnerability sat heavily on her chest. Fear of what lay beneath the turbulent emotions, the questions. And now, after everything… What did this mean for her? For them?

And finally, there was a creeping sense of longing. She wouldn’t admit it, not even to herself, but it was there, coiled deep in her stomach. It was the ache of desire she couldn’t ignore, the flickering hope that perhaps, maybe, this moment could somehow mean something more, something real, if she just let herself believe in it.

Linda pressed her hand to her chest as if trying to steady her breathing and her heart. She was in turmoil—torn between wanting to push everything away and wanting to lean into it all, even though she knew that would make everything infinitely more complicated.

“No,” she told herself. “That would be a betrayal to Frank. I can’t… I just can’t.”

She closed her eyes, trying to steady her racing heart. Frank had been her rock, her partner, and even though he was gone, his memory still held a powerful grip on her. She couldn’t let herself be swept away by these new feelings, no matter how strong they were.

As she stood there, the forest around her seemed to close in, the weight of her emotions pressing down on her. She knew she had to face Calvin again to confront the feelings that had been stirred up. But for now, she needed a moment to gather her thoughts and remind herself of the promises she had made to Frank and herself.

With a deep breath, Linda pushed away from the tree and began to make her way back to camp. She would face Calvin, but she would do so with a clear mind and a firm resolve. She owed it to Frank and herself to stay true to the path she had chosen.

Feeling a little better after her decision, she took another deep breath and rearranged her clothing until she was once again presentable. She was glad their party was big enough that even though she had run quite a distance, she could still hear them.

As she drew closer, the familiar sounds of the camp reached her ears—voices mingling, the crackle of the fire, and the occasional clatter of pots and pans. She felt reluctant to enter the camp. They had all seen Calvin kiss her, and she knew all their eyes would be on her the moment she stepped into the clearing. But what other choice did she have but to return?

Mary Anna was waiting by the tree line, just a few steps away from the clearing so that they would have privacy. “There you are, Linda! We were starting to wonder if you’d gotten lost.”

Linda managed a small smile, grateful for the matter-of-fact tone in Mary Anna’s voice. “Just needed a moment to clear my head,” she replied, her voice steady.

The frontier woman nodded her understanding, those incisive eyes of hers taking in the paleness of Linda’s face. “You grew up in a civilized part of the world.” Mary Anna stated.

Linda frowned at that. “Yes,” she agreed, confusion clear in her voice.

Mary Anna nodded. “That world is different on the trails and more so out West. Out here, there are no tables to sit at and be polite while we eat. People are given more leeway than you’re used to. The kiss between you and Calvin would have had you shunned, but here, right now, people understand the stress of the journey.”

“There are quite a number that grew up in my world, as you put it, on the trail.” Linda reminded her. “They will look at me as a fallen woman.”

“So?” Mary Anna demanded. “There will always be people who wish to think the worst in any situation. It makes them feel better, superior. You should never care about what those type of people think.”

Linda understood what her friend was saying. She was even grateful for it, yet it didn’t soothe her. “We share a wagon,” Linda reminded Mary Anna. “Before he kissed me, everyone might have known it was innocent, but now…”

“They see him sleeping by the fire every night and leaving the wagon to you. During the day, he drives the wagon, and everyone can see nothing untoward happens.”

Linda sighed, feeling the weight of her situation. “But what if they don’t see it that way? What if they think there’s something more between us?”

Mary Anna placed a comforting hand on Linda’s shoulder. “People out here understand things differently. They know the bond we form on this journey is forged through trials and hardships. They’ll see the truth in your actions, not just in assumptions.”

Mary Anna leaned back against a tree, her gaze flickering to the camp before them. She seemed to consider Linda’s words carefully, as if weighing them against something unsaid. “But it’s not just about what others think, is it?” she said, her tone gentle but laced with something like quiet curiosity. “It’s also about how he’s acting, isn’t it? Calvin, I mean.”

Linda’s heart skipped a beat. She had been avoiding the thought, but now it lingered in the air between them. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice a little too sharp, betraying the nerves she hadn’t quite kept in check.

Mary Anna turned to her with a slight, knowing smile. “I’m just saying… I’ve notice the little things. The way he looks at you when he thinks no one’s watching, the way he always makes sure you’re taken care of. It’s hard to ignore.” Her eyes held a trace of something softer, almost wistful, but she quickly masked it with a shrug.

Linda’s stomach twisted, but she kept her face carefully neutral. “He’s just… being kind,” she said, though her words felt hollow even to herself. She had seen the way Calvin’s attention lingered, the softness in his voice when he spoke to her, the protection he offered without ever being asked. She’d told herself it meant nothing, but now, with Mary Anna’s words hanging between them, doubt began to gnaw at her.

Mary Anna’s eyes softened, but her voice remained gentle. “Kindness is one thing. But when someone starts acting a certain way, it can be hard to separate it from what they feel, don’t you think?” She paused, watching Linda closely. “Especially when it’s someone who’s been close to you for so long.”

Linda’s breath caught in her throat, and for a moment, she couldn’t bring herself to look at Mary Anna. She knew exactly what her friend was implying, but she wasn’t ready to confront it. Not yet. “It doesn’t matter,” Linda said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Mary Anna tilted her head, her expression softening, but she didn’t push further. “Maybe not,” she said. “But sometimes, what we feel changes everything. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself what you really want, Linda.”

Linda swallowed hard, but the words felt like too much, too soon. She pulled her gaze from Mary Anna, glancing instead at the quiet shapes of the wagons. The air felt heavier now, as if the weight of her thoughts had finally begun to catch up with her.

Linda nodded slowly, still feeling the turmoil inside her. “I just wish things could be clear and simple.”

Mary Anna smiled gently. “Life out here rarely is. But it’s also what makes us strong. You have the right to your feelings, and you have the right to your grief. Take it one step at a time, and trust that your heart will lead you in the right direction.”

Linda gave her friend a small smile. “I liked things as they were, even though we fought a lot. Now, it will never be the same again.”

Mary Anna shrugged at that. “Life moves forward, no matter how much we might wish it otherwise. The only thing we can do in difficult times is trust that God knows what He is doing with our lives.”

Linda searched Mary Anna’s face with a slight frown. It had never occurred to her that Mary Anna was a religious woman. She had seemed like one of those self-sufficient people who thought a belief in God was unnecessary. She flushed slightly, realizing that she had been judgemental.

Forgive me, Lord, she prayed silently. It is hard not to be judgemental even when we do our best, she confessed, knowing that God would know her sincerity where others wouldn’t have.

That was the one thing she loved about her Heavenly Father. As all-knowing as He was, He would never be fooled by insincerity. Linda loved Him too much to ever even attempt to be insincere with Him, even if it were a possibility.

Linda took a deep breath, feeling a sense of calm wash over her. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but she had God with her. He would help her navigate her feelings with the same courage she had faced every challenge on the trail. For now, she would focus on the present and let the future unfold in its own time.

After the attack from the bandits, Elijah had called for a rest. The men were on high alert, ensuring there was no longer any threat. Moving on too quickly would make them vulnerable, and everyone knew it. The camp settled into a tense quiet, everyone processing the events and nursing their own wounds, physical and emotional.

As Linda and Mary Anna returned to camp, she could feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on her, even though they went out of their way not to stare. The awkwardness was palpable, but Linda held herself steady, determined not to let it show. She went through her usual duties, focusing on the tasks at hand to keep her mind occupied.

Despite her best efforts, Linda’s mind kept drifting back to Calvin’s kiss. Not knowing how she truly felt or why Calvin had kissed her, she decided to ignore him for the rest of the day. It was easier to focus on her chores than to confront the confusing whirl of emotions inside her.

She chopped vegetables for the evening meal, her hands moving automatically while her thoughts swirled. She fetched water, cleaned utensils, and did everything she could to keep busy. Each time she caught a glimpse of Calvin, she quickly averted her eyes, her resolve firm.

As evening approached, the camp began to settle down. The threat of the bandits had passed, but the tension lingered. Linda found a quiet spot to sit. She knew she couldn’t avoid Calvin forever, but for now, she needed time to sort through her feelings and figure out what she wanted. Only when she looked for him, he was nowhere to be found.

Linda stood, the weight of her conversation with Mary Anna heavy her chest, like a stone. The fire crackled behind her, its warmth no match for the cold that had settled into her bones. She needed a moment to breathe—needed to clear her head but there never seemed to be enough time.

She started walking to her wagon, the crunch of her boots on the dirt path the only sound in the still night air. But before she could reach it, a familiar voice called out to her from the shadows.

“Linda.”

She turned to see Sarah stepping out from behind her wagon where she’d been washing dishes. Sarah’s arms were crossed, her face unreadable, but there was a quiet curiosity in her eyes.

“Evening,” Linda said, trying to keep her tone neutral as she gave a small nod in Sarah’s direction.

“Evening,” Sarah replied, her gaze flickering toward the wagon where Calvin had been. There was an odd pause, as if she were choosing her words carefully. “I saw the kiss with Calvin,” she said, her voice pitched low but not unfriendly.

Linda’s heart skipped, and she forced herself not to flinch. “Yes, I imagine you did.”

“He has this look on his face when looking at you when he thinks no one’s around,” Sarah continued, a knowing hint in her voice. “He’s been doing it for weeks now. Thought you’d know by now.”

Linda swallowed, trying to mask the discomfort she felt. “He’s just… protective. We’ve known each other a long time.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. “Protective, huh?” She glanced over her shoulder at the camp, then back at Linda. “Maybe. But I’d say it’s a little more than that. No harm in it, I suppose. He’s a good man, Calvin. Always has been.” She paused for a moment, as though considering whether to say more. “Just wanted you to know we all saw it coming.”

Linda’s stomach tightened at the implications. “What do you mean?” Could she have been the only one blind to what was happening?

Sarah shrugged, her expression turning thoughtful. “Nothing you don’t already know. People see more than we think sometimes.” With that, she gave Linda a small nod and turned back toward the campfire, her retreating figure leaving Linda with her thoughts—and the heavy silence that followed.

Linda stood there with the noise of the evening crowd around her: the clink of pots, the murmur of conversation, and the occasional burst of laughter. But as her gaze swept across the familiar faces of their traveling group, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the space between her and Calvin had shifted in ways she wasn’t prepared for.

She didn’t know how to respond to it. She didn’t know how to respond to any of this.

With the night drawing in, Linda continued back to the wagon. The usual hum of the camp was present. The soft conversations, crackling fires, and the rustling of the nearby trees. But amid the familiar, Calvin’s absence was glaring. She hadn’t realized how much she’d come to depend on his gentle goodnight wish until it was missing. Their ritual, though simple, had become a comforting end to her day.

Linda’s mind started to race. Where could he be? Was he alright? It was unlike him to miss their nightly exchange. She peered out into the dark, half-expecting to see his familiar silhouette approaching. But the path remained empty, and the unease in her chest grew.

She tried to shake off the feeling, telling herself that he might have just gotten caught up in something important. But no matter how hard she tried, the worry gnawed at her. In the stillness of the night, Linda realized that it wasn’t just the ritual she missed—it was the reassurance that, no matter what, Calvin would always be there for her.

“He stormed off moments after you did.” Elijah informed her as he passed her by.

Linda blushed as she realised she had just been standing there like a lost lamb with no idea what to do. Were her emotions and thoughts so obvious?

Chapter 18

Calvin stood at the edge of the dusty hills a little further from their camp. He had no words for the turmoil inside him, no way to make sense of the confusion swirling in his chest.

He shouldn’t have kissed her. He shouldn’t have done it, not like that, not when everything was already so… complicated. Linda hadn’t even hesitated—she’d just run like he was something poisonous. It stung, but it made sense.

Of course, she would. He didn’t even know what he’d been thinking, only that the moment had come, and he’d acted on impulse as though the heat of the day had made his brain forget what little sense he had. Now, he was stuck with the consequences.

Calvin sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, weariness weighing heavy on him. The dust in the air clung to his skin like a second layer. He felt filthy in more ways than one.

When he heard footsteps crunching on the dry earth behind him, he didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Reverend Whitaker’s presence had a way of cutting through the tension of any moment. Calvin didn’t want to face anyone right now, especially not the reverend. He didn’t want the lecture he knew was coming. But when the man spoke, his words were nothing like Calvin expected.

“May I join you?” Whitaker asked, his voice steady and calm.

Calvin nodded, though he couldn’t bring himself to look the man in the eye. “I’m not in the mood for a speech, Reverend,” he muttered.

Whitaker gave a soft chuckle, though there was no amusement in it. “I have no intention of giving one,” he replied quietly.

Calvin didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t sure what he’d say, anyway. What was there to say? He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for the wind to either push him over or help him fly.

Calvin wondered if maybe he needed redemption. Linda embodied a sense of familiarity and comfort, reminding him of a time when his life felt more in control. Her kindness in the last few days had made it possible for Calvin to confront his past and his regrets. Maybe that was why he had kissed her, a manifestation of his overwhelming need for connection and hope. It might not be romance; but about finding solace in someone who represents a lifeline amidst his struggles.

After all, on this journey Linda had become both a mirror and a guide, helping Calvin see the potential for healing and growth. Seeing her dealing with her grief had encouraged him to confront his inner demons and take steps toward a brighter future.

The reverend, for his part, said nothing either. He didn’t try to fill the space with words and didn’t rush in with some pat comfort. It was strange. Most people, if they saw someone in a bad mood, would try to fix it. But the reverend seemed content to just… be there. It was an unusual kind of peace. Not the kind that made everything feel better, but the kind that let you breathe, even if the world around you was falling apart.

Calvin didn’t know how long they stood like that—minutes, hours, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. A sign, maybe. Something to tell him that it would be okay, that he wasn’t the fool he felt like. That Linda wasn’t going to hate him forever.

But standing there with the reverend, Calvin didn’t feel the need to explain or justify himself. They stood in silence, side by side, the wetting sun casting long shadows over the dry earth. It was awkward at first, the stillness between them sharp and unfamiliar. But slowly, Calvin realized the presence of the reverend wasn’t an intrusion but a quiet, steadying force. He didn’t have to say anything. The simple act of standing together—of not being alone with his thoughts—was enough.

Calvin wasn’t sure why he finally spoke, but it didn’t matter. The reverend made everything feel a little less overwhelming, and he found himself asking something he had never thought to ask.

“Do you really believe there’s a life after this one?”

The words felt too big, too heavy for the moment, but they were out now. The reverend hadn’t said much about such things—not to him, anyway. Calvin wasn’t sure why he’d asked. Maybe because it seemed like the kind of question you could only ask when you felt lost, and right now, he felt like he was adrift in the middle of some vast, endless sea.

The reverend turned to him, his expression unreadable, but there was a quiet certainty in the way he held himself. “I do,” he answered simply, without hesitation.

Calvin nodded, a little surprised but also relieved to hear it. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe because it felt like an anchor—something to steady him when everything around him shifted.

“Do you really?”Calvin pressed, his voice quieter now. “I mean, how do you know?”

The reverend smiled gently, and there was a softness to his features, a calmness that made him seem less like the man who led the prayers and more like someone who had lived a lifetime of questions and answers. He looked out at the land for a moment, considering. Then, his voice was as steady as ever.

“My faith tells me there is,” he said, the words almost a prayer in themselves. “But there’s a passage I’ve always found comfort in. One of many, of course, but it’s one that sticks with me.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was rich with the familiarity of something he had said a thousand times, but it still felt fresh. “Jesus said, ‘In My Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, would have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.’”

Calvin turned to look at him, blinking as the words sank in. He had heard them before, of course—who hadn’t?—but something about hearing them at this moment, in the quiet dusk, made them feel… real. Not like a doctrine to memorize or a comfort to recite, but something deeper. Something more certain.

The reverend’s voice was soft, as though the weight of those words rested on him, and he offered them like a gift, not a sermon.

“That’s what I believe, Calvin,” the reverend continued, meeting his eyes with a steady gaze. “That there’s something beyond this world—something good and just, where there’s peace and where all the burdens we carry are lifted. I believe there’s a place for all of us. Even you. Even me.”

Calvin’s chest tightened again, but it wasn’t the same pressure as before. It wasn’t guilt or confusion. It was something else—maybe hope, or maybe just the barest flicker of it, like the first star appearing in the evening sky.

He exhaled, almost laughing at himself for even asking. He wasn’t sure what kind of answer he’d been expecting. Maybe something more profound, or perhaps something that would make him feel confident, but instead, all he got was… comfort. The kind that didn’t need explaining or defending.

The reverend’s words, simple and matter-of-fact, had their own kind of weight. “I can’t prove it, Calvin,” he said, “But I trust it. And that trust gives me peace—peace enough to keep walking, even when the road ahead seems dark and uncertain.”

Calvin looked down at his boots, thinking for a moment. He could feel the weight of everything—the journey, the kiss, the uncertainty of what came next. But for a fleeting second, the reverend’s words lingered, like a promise he didn’t fully understand but still wanted to believe.

The silence stretched between them again, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was quiet in a way that allowed space for thoughts to settle and the wind to carry away some of the dust in Calvin’s mind. And though the evening had turned cool and the campfires were starting to flicker in the distance, Calvin didn’t feel quite as lost as before.

“Maybe I can’t prove it either,” Calvin said, his voice a little softer now, “but I want to believe it.”

The reverend nodded as if he had known that all along. He didn’t need Calvin to agree or understand fully. The belief—the hope—didn’t need to be explained, only felt.

“I think that’s all any of us can do, Calvin. Keep walking, even when we don’t know where we’re headed.”

The stars had begun to pierce the darkening sky, each one distant and untouchable yet somehow constant in their quiet brilliance. Calvin stared at them for a long time, his thoughts swirling with the weight of everything the reverend had said and everything that had happened.

His mind drifted back to Charlotte. His wife.

Had she prepared a room for him, like the reverend said? He wanted to believe it—wanted to believe there was some kind of waiting room or some kind of home for him on the other side, where things made sense again and the years of grief and sharp edges of loss didn’t hurt so much. Maybe she was waiting there, just as he’d left her, arms open, ready to welcome him with the warmth of their old life, the one that had been cut short too soon.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, doubt crept in like a cold shadow. What if there wasn’t anything waiting? What if this was it—the dust, the weariness, and the feeling of drifting from one place to the next, never truly at rest?

He wasn’t sure which thought hurt more.

He sighed, his eyes shifting toward the horizon, where the last traces of light were fading, swallowed by the vastness of the land. He was a long way from home, a long way from the life he used to know. And though he had asked the reverend that question, and though part of him wanted to believe, he wasn’t sure what to hold onto anymore.

And then, as if the universe had been waiting for him to realize he wasn’t as alone as he thought, he felt a presence beside him—steady, like the earth beneath his feet. Reverend Whitaker had come to stand next to him again, silent for a moment, his hands clasped before him.

Calvin barely noticed at first, lost in his own thoughts, but then he felt the reverend’s hand settle gently on his arm. The touch was light, not pressing, but grounding in a way that made Calvin feel the weight of his own heart. He didn’t pull away. He didn’t need to.

The reverend’s voice, when it came, was soft but unyielding, the kind of voice that spoke from experience, from someone who had seen life’s sharpest edges and still chosen to walk through the world with compassion.

“The ones we’ve lost… they would want us to keep living, Calvin. They would want us to find peace again. To find happiness, even after the hardest parts of life.”

Calvin swallowed hard, the lump in his throat tightening. He wanted to say something, but no words came. The reverend’s hand lingered for a moment longer, steadying him before he finally removed it and gave Calvin a quiet nod.

“I’ll leave you to think on that,” he said softly, turning away, his boots kicking up the dust as he walked back toward the camp.

Calvin didn’t watch him go. Instead, he stared out at the darkened sky again, feeling the quiet of the night press in around him. The weight of the reverend’s words hung heavy in the air, each one wrapped in a truth he wasn’t sure he could grasp, not yet. But something about them settled in him, like a seed planted deep in the soil, waiting for the right time to grow.

Charlotte would have wanted him to live. She would have wanted him to find peace again. To be at peace with the things he couldn’t change.

The thought of her—her laugh, her smile, and the way her eyes softened when she looked at him—made the ache in his chest flare for a moment, but it was different now. He didn’t feel quite as lost as before.

Maybe he couldn’t prove that there was a room waiting for him in that house beyond; maybe he didn’t know for sure what came after, but the reverend had given him something more important than certainty. He had given him permission to hope and believe that even if the road ahead was uncertain, there was still something worth walking toward.

He wondered what he might say to Linda if she were here. Would he have the courage to unravel what he was feeling? Would he find the words to tell her how her presence had shown him there was more to live for than his ranch and boys? Maybe even that she had given him a renewed purpose?

Calvin finally broke his gaze from the stars, his eyes tracing the soft glow of the campfires in the distance, the flickering light beckoning him back to the living, to the people still around him. To Linda.

It wasn’t peace, not yet. But maybe it was a start.

Maybe that was enough for tonight.

He stood there for a long while, letting the weight of the silence and the stars press down on him, wondering if Charlotte had, in some way, prepared a room for him—whether it was a place in the next life or simply a place in his heart, where her memory could rest.

The reverend had said the ones we’ve lost would want us to live. Calvin felt the reverend’s words resonate deeply within him. But what did it mean to truly live? For so long, living had meant merely surviving, day by day, bound by the shadows of his past and the weight of his obligations to Charlotte.

Living, he realized, had become synonymous with guilt and responsibility—a duty to atone for perceived failures and missed opportunities. He’d been surviving for Charlotte’s sake, his life driven by a promise to uphold her memory. But survival wasn’t the same as living.

To live, Calvin mused, was to embrace the unknown, to take risks, and to seek joy and fulfillment beyond the confines of his past. It meant allowing himself the freedom to dream again, to aspire to something greater than mere existence. Living required him to acknowledge his pain but not be defined by it, to find new purpose and meaning that went beyond his grief.

As he thought of Linda, he realized that living also meant opening his heart to new connections. It meant being vulnerable, sharing his struggles and triumphs, and finding strength in the bonds he could create with others. Linda had become an embrace of this new way of living—her presence a reminder that there was beauty and hope to be found, even in the midst of loss.

Living, Calvin decided, was about honoring the past without being shackled by it. It was about finding balance between remembrance and renewal, allowing himself to grow and change.

Calvin started to grasp that it meant embracing all facets of his existence—his past, his present, and the potential for a brighter future. It was about daring to hope, to love, and to forge a path forward that was defined not by his losses, but by his resilience and the new connections he chose to build.

The question became, was he ready to try?

Chapter 19

As the days passed, the awkwardness between Calvin and her lingered like a dark cloud. It was almost like before when they had first started this journey, but worse. Now, they didn’t speak at all, the silence between them stretching longer and more painfully with each passing day.

Linda would often find herself glancing at Calvin, hoping for a word, a gesture—anything that might bridge the growing chasm between them. But he seemed lost in his own thoughts, the weight of unspoken emotions hanging heavy in the air.

The disconnect gnawed at her heart, leaving her feeling more isolated than she ever had before. She missed the warmth of their conversations, the way they used to share their hopes and fears. The laughter, the shared dreams—they all seemed like distant memories now.

Each night, as she lay in the wagon bed, the memory of the silence was almost unbearable. She longed to reach out, to find the words that would heal the rift, but fear and uncertainty held her back. What if she said the wrong thing? What if she made it worse?

Linda found herself looking forward to the breaks when she could get off the wagon and escape the uncomfortable atmosphere. The open air and the feel of the earth beneath her feet—these were small comforts in the midst of the tension. She would busy herself with tasks, helping Mary Anna or Sarah, anything to keep her mind off the strained silence.

But no matter how hard she tried, her thoughts always drifted back to Calvin. She wished she knew what to say to break the ice and find a way back to the tentative friendship they had started to build. She longed for him to say something, anything, but he remained stoic and silent, his eyes distant and guarded.

One evening, as they sat around the campfire, Linda stole a glance at him. His face was illuminated by the flickering flames, his features set in a mask of quiet determination. She wondered what he was thinking, if he felt the same awkwardness she did, or if he was content with the distance between them.

With a sigh, Linda turned her attention back to her meal, pushing the thoughts aside. She knew she couldn’t force Calvin to open up, and maybe, in time, things would improve on their own. For now, she would focus on the journey ahead and the strength she found within herself.

The camp was quiet except for the crackling of the morning fire. Linda wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders and glanced over at the small circle of wagons where some of the travelers were still sleeping. The trail had been harder yesterday—longer, steeper—but there was a calmness in the air now that they had stopped. Despite the tiredness that ached in her legs, there was a sense of peace, a quiet fulfillment that came with knowing they had come so far.

A few of the others were already gathering near the fire, talking in low voices or putting their bedrolls away. Sarah, her face lit by the firelight, sat on a rock at the edge of the camp, her gaze far away. Josh was nearby, his back to her, but even from a distance, Linda could see the way he glanced over at Sarah now and then.

The sight made Linda smile, a warm feeling blooming inside her chest. Sarah’s smile was brighter than before, like the glow of the fire that danced over the rocks. It made Linda’s heart lighter to see Sarah like this, her guard down, her joy as easy as the smile on her face. The spark that had been missing for so long was finally back.

But Linda turned away from the sight, not wanting to stare, and instead focused on her own task. Mary Anna was kneeling in front of her, holding a length of thick rope, her fingers moving with quick, practiced ease.

“Alright, Linda. Pay close attention now,” Mary Anna said, her voice low but firm. “It’s a simple knot, but you’ve got to do it right. It’s no good if it comes loose when you need it most.”

Linda nodded, trying to shake off the flutter of thoughts that had been building in her chest. It was easy to get distracted when the camp was alive with so many familiar faces. But she had work to do, too.

Mary Anna showed her the motion again, her hands moving deftly as she twisted the rope in intricate loops. Linda watched closely, trying to catch the rhythm of her mentor’s fingers. She reached out, awkwardly mimicking the motions, her fingers fumbling with the rope.

“You’ve got to pull tight when you make the loops,” Mary Anna said, glancing up. “Like this.” She tied the knot in one smooth movement, then passed the rope to Linda, her eyes twinkling with patience. “Now you try.”

Linda took the rope, working slowly at first, focusing on each step. The motion was awkward at first, but as she repeated it, the knot began to take shape under her fingers. Her hands were clumsy, but the knot was slowly coming together. She gave it a tug, a little unsure of herself. It held.

Mary Anna looked at her with an approving nod. “Not bad. You’ll get it in no time.”

Linda smiled at the praise, though she still felt a little unsure of herself. She looked back toward Sarah and Josh, who were standing together now, talking in low voices, their heads close. Sarah’s laugh echoed softly across the camp—light, genuine, the sound of something unburdened. The way Sarah looked at Josh, with that smile that reached all the way to her eyes, made Linda feel something she couldn’t quite name.

It wasn’t just relief; it was happiness. It felt right, seeing Sarah like this—unfolding again after so much silence. It made Linda’s heart swell, a strange mixture of joy and protectiveness. She had wanted Sarah to find peace, and now, maybe, she was beginning to.

“She looks happy, doesn’t she?” Linda said softly, almost to herself.

Mary Anna followed her gaze. “She does,” she agreed, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “It’s good to see that. She’s had a tough road. But sometimes life can give you just what you need.”

Linda nodded, her fingers still working the rope, but her thoughts were elsewhere. The knot was beginning to feel familiar now, her hands growing steadier. As her eyes trailed over the camp, she met Calvin’s eyes, and her heart leapt, and she quickly looked away.

Linda’s hands trembled again, and before she could stop herself, she fumbled with the rope, making a mess of the knot she had just gotten the hang of. She pulled at it in frustration, but it only seemed to make things worse. Her fingers were shaking more than usual, and she couldn’t seem to focus.

Mary Anna, who had been watching her closely, raised an eyebrow. “Something going on between you and Calvin, Linda?” she asked, her tone gentle but curious. “You’ve been doing fine until now. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Linda paused, her face flushing slightly, and she glanced up, caught off guard. She hesitated, the weight of her thoughts suddenly more present than the rope in her hands. She could feel the heat of embarrassment creeping up her neck.

It was hard to shake the image of that moment. The kiss. It felt like her mind kept replaying it over and over, like a song that wouldn’t stop. It had been sudden, unexpected, and now, when she thought about it, she wasn’t sure how to feel.

She cleared her throat, trying to steady herself. “It was… it’s just—well, I don’t know how to explain it.”

Mary Anna’s expression softened, but there was a knowing glint in her eyes. She let out a soft chuckle, and Linda’s stomach sank.

“You don’t have to explain, Linda,” Mary Anna said, her voice light. “The whole camp saw it, anyway.”

Linda’s face turned bright red, and she dropped her eyes to the knot, trying to will the ground to swallow her whole. “I… I forgot,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Mary Anna tilted her head, a soft smile on her lips. “Well, like I told you, you don’t have to worry about being judged,” she said, her tone warm and understanding. “You two are grown-ups. A kiss is just a kiss, and it’s none of our concern.” She paused, giving Linda a pointed look. “But I can tell it’s got you worked up.”

Linda squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm the rush of thoughts spinning in her head. A kiss is just a kiss. Was it really that simple? Maybe to Mary Anna, who seemed so steady in her own skin, but to Linda, it felt like everything had changed in a heartbeat. She’d never expected to be in this position with these feelings. And with Calvin—of all people.

“I wasn’t expecting it,” Linda said quietly, more to herself than to Mary Anna. “It just… it felt…” she sighed. “Now I’m second-guessing everything.”

Mary Anna’s smile softened into something more understanding. “I know,” she said. “Sometimes things just happen when you’re least expecting them. But you don’t need to second-guess yourself, Linda. If it felt right, then it was.”

Her friend laughed a bit. “I remember when I was just a girl and Billy Newton kissed me in front of the mercantile for all the world to see. I ran home and didn’t show myself in town for two weeks It wasn’t until the reverend’s wife forced me to go into town with her that I realised it wasn’t as serious as I thought.”

Linda’s eyes widened as she thought of being a young girl and having something like that happen. “You were not shunned by the matrons?” she asked.

“There were a few that wanted to say I had done something to encourage him but I learned that there will always be people who think the worst of us in even the simplest things. Even after Billy and I got married, they never let us forget that small mistake.”

That shocked Linda. “You married him?” she questioned.

Mary Anna smiled. “Yes, he was the kindest man I have ever met. I would have been foolish not to. Maybe it will be the same with you and Calvin.”

Linda shifted uncomfortably on the wooden stump, her thoughts swimming with the unexpected revelations. The setting sun cast a warm, golden hue over the modest porch where she and Mary Anna sat, painting the landscape in a serene, dreamlike glow.

Linda’s heart raced as she pondered the implication of Mary Anna’s words. Marrying the man who caused a scandal seemed unthinkable, yet here sat Mary Anna, content and glowing with the happiness of a fulfilled life. She wondered if her own life could take such a surprising turn. “Did you ever doubt him, after the town’s whispers?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Mary Anna’s eyes sparkled with fond memories. “Oh, certainly,” she admitted, “but he proved his love in countless ways. Like the time he walked fifteen miles just to bring me a batch of wildflowers, or how he always took time to mend my father’s broken tools, despite his own work being plentiful.”

Linda let the words sink in, drawing a parallel to her budding friendship with Calvin. Maybe life had a way of surprising them all, and perhaps the journey would be worth the initial discomfort and judgment.

The cool breeze rustled through the trees, carrying with it the scent of freshly baked pan bread. It was a comforting reminder that despite the challenges, life was simple and filled with moments of unexpected joy. The echo of children’s laughter in the distance made Linda smile as she pondered Mary Anna’s tale, her mind now open to the myriad possibilities that lay ahead.

“You’re still troubled,” Mary Anna noted with a kind smile on her face.

Linda looked up at her, warmth fusing her cheeks. “It’s just… Calvin. He’s always been there. He was Frank’s friend, but now… I don’t know what to make of it. It’s different, awkward.”

Mary Anna nodded thoughtfully, her gaze steady. “I get it. But you’re both widowed and have a right to start again if you want. Maybe it’ll lead somewhere. Or maybe it won’t. Either way, it’s part of the life journey you’re on. You’ll figure it out.”

Linda took a deep breath, the tension in her shoulders easing just a little. Mary Anna was right, of course. She knew that. It had been a long, difficult road to get here—both for her and for Calvin—and maybe this was just one more chapter to navigate. But it didn’t make the uncertainty any easier to bear.

She looked down at the rope in her hands, her fingers still shaking, but her mind was starting to clear. She would finish the knot. One step at a time. Just like with everything else.

“Okay,” she said, her voice steadying. “I’ll try again.”

Mary Anna gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder. “You’ve got this. And remember, no matter how tangled it gets, you can always untie it and start over.”

Could she apply that to her life? Linda managed a small smile, feeling a little lighter, a little less embarrassed now. She glanced once more toward Sarah and Josh, who were still talking in the distance. They were lost in themselves, unaware of the conversation unfolding between her and Mary Anna.

Then she looked at Calvin, and the same confusing emotions swirled within her. Even though he wasn’t looking her way, she blushed and looked away. She was too old to be behaving like this!

Yet her fingers nervously twisted the rope, trying to find her way back to the knot she had been so sure of moments before. But it wasn’t working. The movements felt slow and mechanical, as if she was going through the motions but not really there. Her thoughts kept pulling her away, and this time, it wasn’t the memory of the kiss but something deeper, heavier.

She looked up, her gaze meeting Mary Anna’s again, and something in her shifted. She had been quiet about her feelings for so long, locking them away where no one could see. But now, with the quiet stillness of the camp around them, the brightness of the day casting gentle shadows on Mary Anna’s kind face, Linda felt herself finally ready to speak what had been gnawing at her for weeks.

“I’ve been thinking about him in a different way,” she confessed, her voice low and hesitant, unsure if she should say it aloud. “I… I think I’m attracted to him. I’ve felt it for a while, actually. Since the start of the trip. I didn’t want to admit it, not to anyone, even myself. But after he kissed me, it’s hard to ignore.” She paused, staring down at her hands, twisting the rope tighter, her throat tight with emotions she couldn’t name.

Mary Anna didn’t say anything, just let Linda speak. She was patient, waiting.

“I don’t know what to make of it,” Linda continued, her voice barely above a whisper. “We’ve grown closer, and I don’t know if it’s just because we’ve been on this trail together, surviving, or if it’s something more… real. But…” She paused again, her heart heavy. “But it’s not just that. I can’t shake the feeling that no matter what I do, I’m betraying someone.”

Linda’s mind wandered back to moments with Frank, the memories a bitter-sweet reminder of the love and connection they had shared. She remembered the way his laughter filled the room during their lazy Sunday mornings, how they would cook breakfast together, each movement synchronized as if they were part of a well-rehearsed dance. His touch, gentle and reassuring, had a way of making her feel safe and cherished.

One memory, in particular, stood out—their last trip to the coast. Linda could still feel the salty breeze on her skin and hear the distant crash of the waves. Frank had surprised her with a handwritten letter, expressing his dreams for their future. He had envisioned a life filled with love, adventure, and unyielding support for one another. That day, standing on the beach with the sunset painting the sky, Linda had felt an overwhelming sense of peace and certainty that Frank was her forever.

But forever, as it turned out, was shorter than they had imagined. Frank’s sudden passing had shattered Linda’s world, leaving her grappling with an emptiness she hadn’t known was possible. Moving on felt like a betrayal of his memory, yet she couldn’t deny the loneliness that gnawed at her heart.

Linda struggled with the fear that opening her heart again would mean letting go of Frank, as if moving forward might erase the love they shared. Yet, at the same time, she knew Frank wouldn’t want her to be trapped in the past. His letter had spoken of a future filled with joy and discovery, and she could almost hear his voice urging her to find happiness again.

As she looked at Calvin, Linda couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of that same hope and connection she once felt with Frank. It terrified her, the idea of allowing someone new into her heart, but it also filled her with a sense of possibility. Could she honor Frank’s memory while embracing a future with Calvin? The memories reminded her of the depth of love and connection she was capable of, while also challenging her to overcome her fear of loss. In opening her heart to Calvin, she would be choosing to live the way Frank had always wanted her to—with courage, hope, and an unwavering belief in the power of love.

The question became, was she ready to take the chance? Was Calvin? On one hand, she knew she wanted more from her relationship with Calvin, but she still could not let go of Frank.

Mary Anna raised an eyebrow, her gaze sharp with curiosity.

Linda swallowed hard, the words feeling like stones in her mouth. “My husband, Frank. He’s been gone only a year now, but it still feels wrong. It feels like… like I’m not supposed to move on. Not with him.”

“I can’t help feeling like I’m betraying Frank,” Linda said, almost to herself now. “I don’t know how Sarah does it, how she’s ready to move on with Josh. I don’t think I can ever feel like she does. I can’t let go of him. Not like that.”

Mary Anna exhaled, looking into the fire for a moment as though she were choosing her words carefully. Then she met Linda’s eyes, her gaze steady and calm.

“I don’t know much about matters of the heart,” she said slowly as if measuring each word, “but the trail has taught me something. And maybe it’s just that—life’s too short to wait for some perfect moment. You can’t know what’s around the corner.” She paused, her eyes distant for a moment as if reflecting on something only she understood. “You can’t plan for things to make sense. Sometimes, they just do. Or they don’t.”

Linda listened, though her brow furrowed. She wasn’t sure she completely understood, but she wanted to.

“The truth is, Linda,” Mary Anna went on, “life’s precious, but it’s also short. We think we have all the time in the world, but we don’t. Sometimes, it’s the small moments that matter the most—the ones that come out of nowhere when you least expect them. And sometimes, you have to trust yourself to know what feels right.”

Linda swallowed, the tightness in her chest easing slightly with the softness in Mary Anna’s voice. She was right in a way. The trail had taught them all to let go of the things they couldn’t control to keep moving forward even when the road was uncertain. But that didn’t make it easier to decide what was right, especially when it came to matters of the heart.

She thought again about Calvin—about how his smile had started to feel like something more than just kindness, the way he had looked at her when their hands brushed, and the way his voice had softened when he spoke her name. She didn’t want to be one of those people who ran from their feelings out of fear or guilt. But she also didn’t want to forget the man she had loved. The man who had been a part of her life, who had been her world. She couldn’t just wipe away those memories and move forward without feeling like she was leaving something behind.

“I don’t know what to do,” Linda said softly, the words coming out more like a confession than a question. “I can’t shake the guilt. And I don’t want to hurt anyone. Not Calvin, not myself, and not the memory of Frank.”

Mary Anna gave a slow nod, her expression understanding. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now, Linda. And you don’t have to make a choice you’re not ready for. But don’t close your heart off just because you’re scared of what it might mean. That’s not living. It’s just surviving.”

Linda felt a small weight lift off her shoulders, but she wasn’t sure yet what to do with the freedom Mary Anna had just given her. So far, the trail had not been about easy choices, and this one was no different. But maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have to make sense of everything at once. Perhaps the answers would come when she was ready for them.

She glanced up at Mary Anna, who was already moving to gather more kindling for the fire, her movements sure and steady. “I guess I don’t have to figure everything out today, do I?” Linda asked, more to herself than to her friend.

Mary Anna didn’t answer right away, but her smile was small, knowing. “No, Linda. You don’t.”

And for the first time in what felt like a long while, Linda allowed herself to believe that maybe that was enough. As she watched Mary Anna’s steady movements she felt a profound sense of gratitude wash over her. There was something almost divine about the timing in which Mary Anna had entered her life. At a time when Linda felt most adrift, Mary Anna’s presence had been like a lighthouse guiding her through the fog.

Thinking back to their many conversations, Linda realized that Mary Anna’s wisdom always seemed to come when she needed it most. Whether it was a reassuring word or a gentle nudge in the right direction, Mary Anna had a way of making Linda see beyond her immediate pain and confusion.

It was in those quiet, shared moments of vulnerability that Linda began to understand the importance of God’s timing. She saw Mary Anna as more than a friend—she was a living testament to God placing the right people in her life at the right time. In Mary Anna’s presence, Linda found a reflection of God’s love and guidance, reassuring her that she was on the right path, even if the way forward wasn’t entirely clear yet.

This realization brought Linda a deep sense of peace. Her journey was still unfolding, and she could trust in the people God had placed in her life to help her navigate it. Each interaction, each moment of shared wisdom, was a step towards healing and growth.

And for that, she was profoundly grateful.

Chapter 20

Calvin sat a little apart from the rest of the camp, his back leaning against the trunk of a large pine tree. The fire crackled in front of him, its light flickering in the distance, but his focus wasn’t on the flames. It was on her—on Linda, who was sitting with Mary Anna by another fire.

Every time he tried to look away, his eyes found her again, like they had a mind of their own. He saw her with the others, talking and laughing, but even from this distance, there was something different about the way he looked at her. Something that he couldn’t shake, no matter how hard he tried.

He thought back to the moments when it had all started to change. It hadn’t been anything dramatic, not like some love story you read about. It had been the little things. The quiet conversations after long days on the trail. Her soft laugh. The way she didn’t shy away from the hard work, even when it felt impossible. The way she carried herself—strong, but with a quiet kind of vulnerability that pulled him in without him even realizing it.

Calvin had never thought he’d feel like this again. After losing his wife, Charlotte, to the fever all those years ago, he hadn’t expected to feel anything like this. He had told himself he was done. Done with the kind of love that ripped you open and left you raw, vulnerable, and longing for something that no longer existed. He had buried those feelings and built walls around them, determined to keep his heart sealed tight. The pain of losing Charlotte had been enough for a lifetime.

Calvin’s thoughts drifted back to one of his most cherished memories of Charlotte. It was a sunny afternoon, and they were sitting under their favorite oak tree in their backyard. They had just been married and Charlotte had insisted they have a picnic, despite his protests about being too busy. He could still see her bright smile as she unpacked the basket, laying out an array of their favorite foods.

As they ate, Charlotte talked about her dreams for their future—plans of travel, starting a family, and growing old together.

“We’ll go to the big cities,” she had stated. “Boston, New York, Chicago…”

“I have the ranch to see to.” he had reminded, only half teasing.

“You have a capable foreman.” her lips had pursued in mock indignation, her eyes shinning with laughter as she was able to see right thorough him.

The next moment, her laughter, light and musical, filled the air, and he had felt completely at peace in that moment, utterly content. She had a way of making him believe that everything was possible.

It was in that moment, beneath the rustling leaves, that he had realized the depth of his love for her. He had taken her hand, looked into her eyes, and promised that he would do everything in his power to make her dreams come true. The memory of her hand in his, warm and steady, was something he had clung to in the darkest moments of grief.

“We will go to Boston and take in the exhibits, go to New York and attend the theatres and musicale.”

He laughter rang once more. “You will hate all that.” she predicted.

“Calvin smiled. “You will love it.”

And he had been true to his word. They had visited those cities of culture and he had enjoyed the scene only by taking in the beauty of her excitement. It had been worth it.

Now, as he thought of Linda, those memories of Charlotte were bittersweet, a reminder of what he had lost and the walls he had built to protect himself from feeling that pain again. But Linda’s presence was different—she didn’t erase the past; instead, she offered a chance for something new.

The internal conflict tore at him. How could he let go of the past enough to embrace the future?

And yet, somehow, Linda had slipped through the cracks in his resolve.

It wasn’t just the way she looked at him when their hands brushed or how her voice softened when she spoke to him. It was the way she saw him—really saw him. Not as a man who’d lost his wife, not as someone still stuck in the past, but as someone who was still worth something. She didn’t pity him, and she didn’t try to fill the silence with empty words. There was something steady about her, something that made him feel like maybe—just maybe—he could stop pretending.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it?

He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready for her. So why had he kissed her?

“Mr. Turner!” Sarah little boy Tommy raced to his lone fire with a wide grin on his face. “Mr. Turner look, look what Mr. Josh made for me.”

The little boy came to a sudden stop beside Calvin that he tethered on his feet, almost falling. Automatically, Calvin caught and righted him. “What do we have here?” he asked with a smile for the little boy though he didn’t feel like smiling.

“It’s a sergent from the army, Mr. Josh carved it for me for my army men, he says he will make me more!” the boy enthused.

He was six years old with his mother’s tow head and freckles on his nose. His eyes were a clear blue that sparkled with excitement. Calvin couldn’t help but feel a pang of warmth despite his heavy heart. “That’s quite an impressive sergeant you’ve got there, Tommy. Mr. Josh must be very talented to carve such fine details.”

Tommy nodded vigorously, his freckled nose scrunching up with glee. “He is! He said he’ll make me a whole regiment so they can have battles and adventures.” He paused for a moment, his enthusiasm softening into a thoughtful look. “Mr. Turner, will you play with me once I have them all?”

Calvin’s smile widened a bit more genuinely. “Of course, Tommy. I’d be honored to join your army.” The simplicity and innocence of the boy’s request tugged at Calvin’s heartstrings, momentarily lifting the weight that had been pressing down on him.

Tommy beamed before scurrying off to show his new sergeant to his friends. Calvin watched him go, a small spark of hope igniting in his chest. Perhaps there was still some joy to be found, even in the darkest times.

As the fire crackled beside him, Calvin leaned back and let the warmth seep into his bones. He glanced around the camp, taking in the familiar faces of his fellow travelers. Life had taken unexpected turns, leading him to this small, tight-knit community. They had faced hardships together, but moments like these reminded him of the simple pleasures and connections that made it all worthwhile.

Then his gaze met Linda’s and she quickly looked away, causing the lighthearted moment to fade away. The confusion came back and he wondered when he would have the courage to talk to her.

Every time he thought he had the words to say something and tell her how he felt, the words never came. It was like they got stuck in his throat, tangled up with doubt and fear and a hundred other things he didn’t know how to explain. He had been so sure of everything after Charlotte passed. He had known his path. It was a lonely one, but it was a path he could walk without hesitation. Until now.

But now, every time he looked at Linda, his chest tightened in a way that made him wish he could bury the feeling and push it away because it wasn’t what he was supposed to feel. He was supposed to be content on his own, wasn’t he? Not yearning for something he couldn’t have, something that could make everything even more complicated.

He had a life in Bayside, his boys. She was moving out West to start a new life, and Calvin couldn’t be a part of it.

He had told himself that the first time he really noticed her—that it was nothing, just the kind of connection you felt with someone you had known most of your life on the trail. But as the days went by, as they spent more time together, it became harder to ignore. Her laughter, her eyes, and the way she would catch his gaze sometimes as if she were trying to say something without words—it all wove into his mind until he couldn’t disentangle it.

And now, after the kiss, after that moment he’d shared with her, he was more unsure than ever of what he was supposed to do next.

What could he even say? What if she didn’t feel the same way? What if this whole thing was just a passing feeling—a side effect of being out here, on the trail, with no one else around? And then there was the matter of Frank, her late husband. He respected the memory of the man and had always admired him. But now… what if?

What if she still felt tethered to him? What if she couldn’t move on, couldn’t even think about someone else without feeling guilty? He didn’t want to be the one who made her feel that way. He couldn’t. Not when he knew what it was like to lose someone you loved.

And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Calvin’s hand tightened around the rough bark of the tree he was leaning against, the discomfort in his chest rising again. He wished he could talk to someone—someone who understood what this felt like. He thought about Mary Anna, her steady, no-nonsense attitude. She seemed like the type of person who’d tell him to stop wallowing and take a chance. And maybe she was right. Maybe he should take that chance. But it felt so uncertain.

Everything about this situation was uncertain.

He had never planned on being in this position, never thought he would look at another woman the way he was looking at Linda. But here he was. Feeling things he didn’t know how to handle. Quieting words he didn’t know how to say.

As the fire crackled softly in front of him, Calvin’s gaze drifted over the camp, his eyes catching the various couples scattered around the clearing.

Eli and Daisy were huddled close together by another small fire, their faces lit by the warm glow. Eli’s arm was wrapped around Daisy’s shoulders, and she rested her head on his chest, both of them quiet and content as if they were in a world of their own. Calvin couldn’t help but watch them for a moment longer. They didn’t have to say much; the ease between them was clear. They didn’t have to explain themselves. They just were.

A little further away, Josh was talking to Sarah. They were sitting on a log, heads tilted toward each other, the firelight flickering across their faces. Sarah was smiling again, the kind of smile that seemed to come naturally now, easy and warm. Josh was leaning in slightly as he spoke, his tone relaxed but earnest. They looked at each other like they shared some private joke. The way they were looking at each other… Calvin couldn’t deny the way it made something inside him twist—hope, jealousy, longing—he wasn’t sure. Maybe a little bit of all three.

God, what do I do? he asked.

He didn’t want to feel such negative thoughts toward the young couple. Their budding relationship was a good thing. They were good for each other. He could see that.

But as he watched them, a hollow feeling settled in his chest. A quiet ache that felt almost unbearable. He wanted that. He wanted to feel that way. He wanted someone to look at him the way Sarah was looking at Josh, with trust and affection, without second-guessing every move. He wanted to feel like he belonged to something again. To someone again.

Do I have the strength?

The path to that kind of connection didn’t seem like something Calvin knew how to walk anymore. After losing Charlotte, he had convinced himself that he could keep going without it. That he would always carry the weight of his grief, and that was the price he would pay for loving someone so deeply. He had made peace with that. Or so he had told himself.

Yet here he was, sitting by the fire, staring at Linda, and it was impossible to deny the way his heart twisted in his chest whenever she was near. It was impossible to ignore how easy it had been for him to open up to her in small, quiet moments. To feel seen again after so long of burying his emotions under layers of grief.

But how could he expect to have what Eli and Daisy had? Or what Sarah and Josh seemed to share? He had no idea how to ask for that kind of connection, how to reach for it without feeling like he was betraying something—someone—from his past.

He wanted to ask Linda how she felt about him, but the words never formed right. Every time he thought about it, about what he wanted to say, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. What if it was too soon? What if she still wasn’t ready?

He thought back to the kiss. To that brief moment by the fire when everything had felt like it could shift, as if something had been realized between them. But then the moment passed, and the silence between them after it… it felt like a canyon they couldn’t cross.

Calvin let out a long, slow breath and leaned back against the tree, his eyes moving to the sky. The stars were as bright as ever, but they felt distant tonight, cold even. He wondered if they had any answers. If they could offer him some sign of what to do next. But there was nothing in the night sky that made him feel any clearer.

He glanced at Linda again. She was still sitting with Mary Anna, laughing softly at something, her posture still but with that quiet lightness in her presence. She was beautiful. Mostly in a way that was hard to define—there was strength in her, yes, but it was the way she carried it that made her so different. Her kindness, her steady resolve, and the way she made everyone around her feel a little less alone.

He wanted to be near her. He wanted to share that warmth and be the one who made her smile in that way. But there was something in him that still held back, like a tether he couldn’t cut.

Eli and Daisy, Sarah and Josh… they had something. Something real. Something that felt uncomplicated, like it had just grown between them. Calvin envied it. He wished he could be that sure, that open, that unafraid of whatever came next.

But he was afraid. Afraid of rejection, of moving on too soon, and of what his feelings for Linda would mean. He didn’t know if he could risk it all and have it crash down again. Not after losing Charlotte. Not after the pain of losing someone he had once believed in so fully.

A quiet sigh left his lips as he looked at Linda once more.

Maybe it wasn’t about having everything figured out. Maybe it was just about being there. For her… and himself. Perhaps it was time to stop pretending like he could control everything. Maybe it was time to stop letting fear decide for him.

Without any warning Daisy Green plopped down on a log beside him with a weary yet pleased sigh. In their travels, he hadn’t had any interaction with the wagon master’s wife aside from the expected pleasantries.

She took off her bonnet and fanned herself with it, her eyes scanning the horizon. “It’s a beautiful evening, isn’t it?” she said softly, more to herself than to Calvin. The sun was just beginning to dip below the distant hills, casting a warm, golden light over the landscape.

Calvin nodded, unsure of what to say. He watched as Daisy’s eyes softened, a peaceful expression settling on her face.

“My grandmother used to say that sunsets are God’s way of showing us His handiwork, reminding us that no matter what happens, there’s always beauty in the world,” she mused.

The simplicity of her words struck a chord with Calvin. He found himself thinking about the sunsets he had watched with Charlotte, moments when the world seemed to stand still, and everything felt right. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to see the beauty in those everyday miracles, too caught up in his grief and the walls he had built around his heart.

Daisy’s casual remark grounded him, reminding him of the presence of something greater than himself. As he sat there, he felt a subtle shift within—an acknowledgement that even in his darkest moments, God had been there, placing people like Charlotte, Linda, and even Mary Anna in his life to guide him forward.

Calvin glanced at Daisy, who continued to gaze at the horizon, lost in her thoughts. “Your grandmother was a wise woman,” he said quietly, the words carrying more weight than he expected.

“She was,” Daisy agreed with a gentle smile. “She always believed that God sends us the people we need when we need them most. I think she might have been onto something.”

They were silent for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts then with a wide smile, Daisy stood up. “Well back to work for me,” she grinned. “It never seems to end.

With the same suddenness with which she had arrived, she left but her words lingered with him. God did bring the right people at the right time, even when he didn’t appreciate them.

He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, God did. He didn’t know how to make the words come or when the right time would be. But maybe it was enough to just sit with it for now. To stop running from it and let whatever happened happen.

As he sat there, watching Linda’s face lit by the fire, he felt a small, tentative hope rise within him. Maybe he didn’t need all the answers right now. Maybe he just needed to start by being honest with himself—and with her.

But he wasn’t sure he could do that yet.

So Calvin sat in the dark, staring at the fire, watching the world around him move on, waiting for the courage to finally find his voice.